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New laws to allow poker machines in the Canberra casino

New laws to allow poker machines in the Canberra casino submitted by UltimateMong to canberra [link] [comments]

Australia Goes Back to the 1980s With Its Economy Closed to World

Australia’s success in curbing Covid-19 infections is allowing it to slowly ease some restrictions even as it remains largely closed off from the rest of the world, taking its economy back to the pre-globalization era.
Mining and agriculture continue to support exports and a government-sponsored group is looking at ways to revive manufacturing. But the flow of foreign tourists, students and immigrants has been frozen, pinning hopes for a rebound on local consumption.
The closed borders and domestic reliance has the economy harking back to the 1980s, before the lifting of tariffs opened up trade and Paul Hogan offered to put another shrimp on the Barbie for international visitors.
Services Driven Nearly two-thirds of economic output from service industries
Australian Bureau of Statistics
Nominal gross value added, 2018-19
The capacity of services to quickly turnaround and the fact Aussies aren’t blowing savings on holidays abroad could help the nation fare better than many developed-world peers. Much will depend on the mood of households as unemployment rises, with a poor construction outlook adding to headwinds.
What Bloomberg’s Economists Say “Close to 1 million Australians per month traveled overseas in 2019. They will now be looking for a change of destination, heading to Noosa instead of Nusa Dua; Port Douglas, not Penang; and catching up with friends at bars in Melbourne Laneways, instead of Hong Kong’s mid levels. Containment measures change the economics of international travel.”
James McIntyre, economist
Household consumption, which makes up around 55% of the economy, has been boosted on the one hand by people stocking up on essentials during the lockdown, but hammered on the other as they couldn’t eat out or go to the movies. Shops and restaurants are gradually reopening but, for consumption to drive any rebound, households must put aside concerns over job security and debt to drive spending. That may be tough.
Wesfarmers Ltd. is seeing shift in consumer behavior across its retail portfolio. Home improvement and office products stores, Bunnings and Officeworks, have seen significant uplift in sales, while general merchandise stores, Target and Kmart, have seen sales slow.
Pessimistic households have consumption outlook seeming bleak Even before Covid-19, Australian households were among the most indebted in the developed world, with debt almost double disposable income. The threat of unemployment to people’s ability to meet their debts is now key, and the Reserve Bank of Australia has long acknowledged it as a major risk facing the economy.
The unemployment rate is currently 6.2%, with the central bank expecting it to peak at around 10%. Banks are offering repayment holidays to help tide homeowners over and have quadrupled provisions for an expected surge in bad debts.
Australia Passes Massive Stimulus Measures as Virus Spreads People wait in line outside a Centrelink office in the Bondi Junction suburb of Sydney, March 2020.Photographer: Brendon Thorne/Bloomberg The absence of skilled migration due to closed national borders will also hit pause on what had been steady stream of profitable mortgage lending for the banks. That could flow through to housing prices if sustained.
Commonwealth Bank of Australia said its base case is for an 11% fall in home prices, though in a prolonged downturn a cumulative 32% slump is possible. National Australia Bank Ltd. said in a severe downturn, prices could plummet 21% this year.
Uncertainty and job insecurity impacting property market Residential construction typically closely follows house price movements, and the sector was already scaling back activity following the previous flood of new stock still working its way into the market.
The RBA earlier this month said that indications from the initial stages of the development process suggests demand for new housing “has deteriorated significantly.” It expects dwelling investment to plunge 17% in the 12 months through June and remain a drag on growth until 2021.
Property investors have been hit by the six month moratorium on tenancy evictions during coronavirus. Without renewed interest from investors, it’s challenging to get a new apartment development, particularly of any size, into construction.
The same holds for business investment. Unless the project was already underway, or is related to creating a covid-safe environment, capital expenditure plans have been parked until demand returns.
Natural Endowment Things look brighter as you leave the cities. Internationally, Australia is known as a commodity powerhouse. While it accounts for just 10% of output, it is a key source of export income and prosperity in the country.
Iron ore shipments from Port Hedland, a key export hub, hit a record for April, while gold sales from Perth Mint -- the main refiner -- also surged. Fortescue Metals Group Ltd. lifted its projected annual iron ore shipments in a wager on China’s recovery. “We are selling everything we can possibly produce,” Chairman Andrew Forrest says.
Net exports important source of economic growth It’s less rosy for the liquefied natural gas producers. Just as the coronavirus sent the global economy into lockdown, Russia and Saudi Arabia began a standoff that sent oil prices tumbling below zero.
Top producers Woodside Petroleum Ltd. and Santos Ltd. have slashed spending plans and deferred flagship growth projects -- worth over $15 billion -- in line with drastic steps by energy majors worldwide to hunker down during the pandemic.
On The Sheep’s Back Virus Fears Grow In Sydney As Growing GDP Expected To Be Hit Rolls of toilet papers sit in an empty section of a supermarket in Sydney, March 2020..Photographer: Brendon Thorne/Bloomberg As supermarket shelves were stripped bare, a panicked nation was reminded of the sheer mass of food the country’s farmers produce. Domestic food production services more than 90% of fresh produce sold in supermarkets and still is able to more than match that amount in exports.
The industry could also become an unexpected source of employment. Backpackers and workers from Pacific Islands flock to rural areas to pick up work with seasonal tasks, but with borders shut and jobs being lost across the economy, farmers are likely turn to the local community for the extra labor.
Other producers have greater worries. Barley and meat exporters have been caught in China’s crosshairs in retaliation for Australia’s public call for an independent investigation of the coronavirus outbreak, while the wine industry is looking on nervously.
It’s been a tough year for wine, even before the virus. Clonakilla winery in New South Wales, north of Canberra, decided against producing a 2020 vintage after analysis showed unacceptably high levels of smoke taint from wildfires over the summer.
Exploring Our Own Backyard Australia's China Reliance Backfires as Virus Fallout Spreads Students sit on the grass at the University of Sydney, Feb. 2020.Photographer: Brent Lewin/Bloomberg The education industry was one of the first to feel the pinch from coronavirus restrictions. When the government imposed travel bans on flights from China in February, around 100,000 international students were unable to enter Australia to begin the academic year and left universities bracing for a costly fallout.
The University of Sydney, where students from China represented nearly one-quarter of the total student body, projected a A$470 million loss this year. Other institutions, including the University of Melbourne and Monash University, are bracing for similar hits. Even smaller regional institutions that don’t attract nearly the same level of international students have been affected.
With a lot of money at stake, there could be a relaxation of international border restrictions for students to study in Australia, before leisure travelers are allowed. But for businesses catering toward an offshore audience, demand is unlikely to snap back.
Qantas Airways Ltd. is currently operating just 1% of its network and has canceled overseas fights until at least the end of July. Its main competitor, Virgin Australia Holdings Ltd., collapsed into administration in April.
Virgin Australia Collapses After Pandemic Halts Air Travel Virgin Australia check-in kiosks inside a deserted Sydney Airport, April 2020. Photographer Brendon Thorne/Bloomberg Crown Resorts Ltd. and Star Entertainment Group Ltd., which both target big-spending visitors from Asia, were forced to close their casinos in Australia as the country locked down. Crown is just months away from completing a A$2.2 billion luxury gaming resort in Sydney.
The tourism industry was already reeling from the wave of cancellations following the December and January wildfires. The silver lining is that Australians will have no option but to spend holidays on home soil once inter-state travel is allowed again.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-05-19/australia-goes-back-to-the-1980s-with-economy-closed-to-world?sref=s0L1qQ1H
submitted by HugeCanoe to AusFinance [link] [comments]

[SETLIST THREAD] 07/09/19 Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, CT

Ticket time: 7:30 EST

Set One (8:10 - 9:32ish): ENERGY (11 min) -> WOOOOOAAAAAH WEEKAPAUG (9 min), The Moma Dance (9 min) > Lengthwise (1 min) -> Maze (10 min), Petrichor (18 min), Things People Do (3 min) > Sample in a Jar (6 min) > Bathtub Gin (17 min)

Set Two (10:21-11:45): Soul Panet (12 min) -> Wider (5 min) -> UNDERMIND (7 MIN), The Final Hurrah (9 min) > Beneath a Sea of Stars Pt. 1 (17 min), Ghost (11 min) -> WEEKAPAUG GROOVE (1 min) -> Birds of a Feather (13 min), Waste (6 min) > Golgi Apparatus (7 min)

Encore (11:46 - 12:08): AAAAAAHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAFOOOOOOOOOOAM (8 min), Contact (7 min), More (7 min)

Notes:
  1. Energy was last played 8/4/13, 226 shows ago
  2. I'm not nearly resourceful enough to find when the last standalone Weekapaug was so let's go with a while
  3. But u/poopfacejohnson has informed me the last standalone Weekapaug was 12/2/03...wooooow
  4. First Foam encore, last played 7/22/17, 79 shows ago

-----------------
I'm baaaaack! Who's ready for some hot, piping, northeast, casino Phish?! It's a pleasure to be joining you all again as your guide through the first show of one of the most hyped runs of the summer! Fun fact: Tonight marks Phish's first performance at the Mohegan Sun Arena which also just squeaks past St. Louis' Chaifetz Arena as the smallest venue of the tour with a capacity of 10,000.

Let's hear some opener calls for tonight! I'm gonna be going with the ever elusive Colonel Forbin's Ascent GLIDE to get the show kicked off.

I'm currently studying for an exam that I have tomorrow so I am going to be in and out of the thread until show time but I'm posting early again to encourage some friendly chatting, discussion, banter, jokes etc etc etc. I really enjoyed hearing everyone's favorite jams of the tour so far in my last thread so this time...let's hear your favorite show you've attended and why. My personal favorite that I have seen would have to be 7/28/17 AKA Double Chocolate night of the Baker's Dozen. This show contained EVERYTHING that I want at a Phish show...fun and wacky covers, YUGE jams, surprise bustouts and bizarre song placements. Also, it doesn't hurt that I've never heard anything louder than the crowd reaction to that Chalkdust Torture peak. Here's an awesome recording for you to check out for yourselves if you so desire, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHNZ-oVygDc (said peak is at 23:00).

Checkins: Elkridge, MD, Mohegan Sun, On the Way to Wisconsin, Tampa, FL, Winooski, VT, Birmingham, AL, Foxwoods Casino, Louisville, KY, Savannah, GA, Middletown, CT, New Hampshire, Palo Alto, CA, Eugene, OR, Syracuse, NY, Nashville, TN, Los Angeles, CA, New Haven, CT, East Lyme, CT, Frisco, TX, Littleton, CO, Ocean City, NJ, North Myrtle Beach, SC, Denver, CO, Guilford, CT, Portland, OR, Bronx, NY, Boston, MA, Gaithersburg, MD, The Woods of Maine, Tokyo, Japan (WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER), Pottstown, PA, Chicago, IL, Bend, OR, Nuevo Havo, CT, Seattle, WA, Franconia, NH, Boulder, CO, Canberra, Australia (WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER), Denver, CO, Frederick, MD, Johnson City, TN, Fort Wayne, IN, Granville, OH, Hartford, CT, Indianapolis, IN, Brooklyn, NY, Columbus, OH, Richmond, VA, Hampton, VA, Tulsa, OK, Olney, MD


Favorite Attended Shows:
u/scarletfire72 - 7/28/17
u/amazen55 - 8/5/17
u/jopnk - 6/30/19
u/sdcasurf01 - 8/7-8/09
u/ADriedUpGoliath - 8/1/17
u/mocksong - 12/30/17
u/spautrievas - 7/24/99
u/TuckHolladay - 10/30/10
u/pm_me_your_miletime - 3/6/09 or 7/22/17
u/TeaAndAche - 8/7/15 (today at least)
u/Flash_Gordon - 6/30/19
u/Gam1019 - 12/7/97
u/BrinxJob - 7/25/17
u/colonelphorbins - Big Cypress
u/Jammin_CO - 11/16/96
u/runawayBrian - 7/11/00
u/ButYourChainsOk - 10/31/10
u/wharf_rat88 - 6/21/19
u/gratefulbend - 8/14/15 and Magnaball
u/TheAnt06 - 8/14/09
u/Buehler-buehler - 12/30/97
u/voxangelikus - 12/29/18
u/runawayjim_617 - 12/30/18
u/massofparticles - 10/20/13
u/mrsEminomily - 7/6/19
u/binary_burn - 12/30/18
u/00000000000 - 8/4/17
u/Poster_Nutsack - Big Cypress
u/Bryanmahindrew - 6/14/19
u/elsneech - 8/14/09
u/Dierin - 7/11/00
u/bmault - 4/3/98
u/idsimon - 8/3/18
u/Your_Latex_Salesman - 7/18/99
u/REOpeenwagon - 9/6/15
u/Hukijiwa - 7/5/13, 8/22/15, 7/22/18
u/eleventhjam1969 - 12/29/18
u/headyhwak - 8/31/18
u/vguy72 - 12/6/96
u/JazzOdyssey - 12/5/09
u/bill-ward-rose - 12/31/93
u/kemnitz - 10/26/18
u/lechatblanc233s - 10/29/13
u/uuuhhhh - 11/27/98
u/CaptainJackRyan (Clancy fan?) - 8/5/17
u/cmmn518redux - 9/14/00
u/howluckyarewe - 8/12/10
u/fuckoka_gumbo - 7/30/17
u/sshore61 - 8/7/15 or 6/30/19
u/gsurberRVA - 3/1/03
u/elliescomet - 6/9/94
u/DarwinFox - 6/26/19
u/winnsanity - 9/6/15
u/87ofHarts - 7/30/17
u/Cletus_Van_Dam - 12/30/16
u/diginfinity - 11/17/97 or 12/6/96
u/carinisnutbag - 12/31/92
u/Tabooter024 - 12/16/99
u/unclejohnssocks - 8/31/12
u/Space-Antelope - 12/31/17

-----------------
Commentary from the Couch:

SET ONE COMMENTARY

SET TWO COMMENTARY
-----------------
THE SEXY MAN-O-METER
[ ] Standing
[ ] Raging
[ ] Perspiring
[ ] Crushing a sandwich
[ ] Porno-clav action
[ ] Glasses off
[ ] Faceplanting into rokk
[ ] Still Waiting
[ ] All alone
[ ] Melting
[ ] Summoning demons
[ ] Scanning pinterest *barf*
[ ] Sexy Fender Rhodes action
[X] Sobbing
-----------------
DON'T BE A DICK AND ASK FOR STREAM LINKS IN THE COMMENTS WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT THIS POINT

Official Stream on Phish Radio: https://www.siriusxm.com/
Mixlrs won't be posted on here because, all together now, FUCK NUGS!!!
Be discrete when sharing mixlrs amongst yourselves

Let's have a great night folks!!!
submitted by scarletfire72 to phish [link] [comments]

[Tournament Report] (Standard and Draft) A Hitchhikers Guide to 10th at Australian Nationals

Disclaimer: there’s going to be a lot of storytelling and fluff in this match report. If you’re after something more serious, that's also here too! I’ve written other match reports on other forums with a similar style, which I’ve linked to here and here.
I hope I didn't poop any reddit formatting.
Enjoy my awful writing!
Part 1 - The Prologue
There it was. The patter of feet turned into an echoing applause of hooves quickly getting closer and closer. Before I knew it, I was knocked to the ground. My last sights a rearing, victorious green horse as it trampled me underfoot.
Thursday. July 19. A cold sweat covered my body as I checked the clock. The bright light of my phone burned 05:55 into my corneas. My hands get to work feverishly to write up my midnight epiphany.
I spend the evening later that day putting cardboard and clothes into my bag, not bringing the spare parts to build anything else. This was it. Grixis was my Alamo.
Fast-forward the drive over the next day, where we all met at Strathfield for the ride over. Mostly an uneventful drive if you discount almost running out of petrol ten minutes outside of Canberra. We settled into our hotel and after some moderate play testing against Mono-Red Keld, I swapped over my basics by request to Unhinged, then cracked open my bottle of Fat Lamb dreading what was coming tomorrow.
I couldn’t sleep much.
Saturday had arrived. Shower. Brief daypack inventory. Breakfast at some fancy cafe across the road. An awkward round 0 of forgetting to bring dice, paper and a playmat, scrambling to write a decklist followed by an awkward anthem and we’re off.
Here’s what we registered: 2 Swamp 1 Island 1 Mountain 4 Aether Hub 4 Canyon Slough 4 Fetid Pools 4 Dragonskull Summit 3 Drowned Catacombs 3 Sulfur Falls (26)
4 Glint-Sleeve Siphoner 3 Champion of Wits 3 Whirler Virtutoso 3 Nicol Bolas, the Ravager 3 The Scarab God 1 Torrential Gearhulk (17)
3 Magma Spray 3 Abrade 3 Essence Scatter 2 Harnessed Lightning 1 Supreme Will 4 Vraska’s Contempt 1 Liliana, Death’s Majesty (17)
Sideboard: 3 Duress 2 Chandra’s Defeat 2 Arguel’s Bloodfast 2 Negate 1 Jace’s Defeat 1 Sweltering Suns’ 1 Glimmer of Genius 1 Yahenni’s Expertise 1 The Eldest Reborn 1 Torrential Gearhulk
I decided on Sulfur Falls over Spirebluff as untapped lands during turns 4, 5 and 6 are just as important as 1, 2, and 3. 3 Essence Scatter was an inclusion I didn’t see in most decks before the tournament, but they were amazing. In future I’d probably play two, and a second Supreme Will as the deck is a little thirsty on card selection or the fourth Champion of Wits.
Part 2 - This Is How Nationals Dies, With Thunderous Applause
Round 1 - Simon Linabury on RB Aggro (Top 8) A Canberra local and an all around nice dude that I’ve seen around a lot. I won the dieroll but shuddered as I saw t1 Bomat on the other side. I had no real response for the curve out as I had kept a pretty crappy hand for the matchup (Siphoner x 2, if i recall correctly) and saw myself die quicky as the Bomat was followed by a creature two drop and it was lights out once Unlicensed hit on my Virtuoso. Not much to do.
Sideboarding: +2 Chandra’s Defeat +2 Arguel’s Bloodfast +1 Sweltering Suns’ +1 Yahenni’s Expertise +1 Torrential Gearhulk -4 Glint-Sleeve Siphoner -3 Nicol Bolas, the Ravager
Glint-Sleeve obviously lines up extremely poorly against Chainwhirler, while I’ve found that Nicol Bolas getting slapped by a Chandra wasn’t exactly the line of play I was after. Further to that, the amount of times in test games that I saw RB players discard a Scrounger dissuaded me entirely from Bolas in the deck post board.
Game 2, I got an Arguel’s down and the draw managed to let me turn the corner with some threats. Game 3 involved another early Arguel’s, and a t4 Chandra from the opponent, but I manage to stick a Scarab God that weathers an Unlicensed and he scoops it up as Scarab start picking up permanents in the graveyard after successfully holding up Vraska’s Contempt to clear a threat. I wished him luck for the next round and slowly packed my stuff and went across the room to my team. Wins across the board (and a points bye, sack) mostly. Nice.
2-1 1-0
After the usual bad beats talk that happens between rounds, I flick through my phone’s browser for pairings, and head straight for the table.
Round 2 - Jesse Stewart on RB Aggro (30th) One lost die roll later and suddenly we’re off with a seven. Bomat Courier again reminds me that the red decks draw way more cards than I do, and if I recall correctly, we trade cards back and forth, and I try to flip a Bolas on an empty board while on 5. He plays Hazoret for the maximum punish.
Sideboarding: Same as Round 1
I keep a seven and we start taking tonnes of damage on board, followed by a Chandra. I try to stem the bleeding with two Whirler Virtuosos, but they don’t do enough as I extend the hand.
0-2 (2-3) 1-1
Bottle of water count hits one. I Taylor Swift it off and go to the next round.
Round 3 - David Huang on Mono-Red Keld (Top 8) Phones in the modern era tend to deliver a ton of unwanted news, and this is no exception. Having a teamkill in round 3 of a 12 round tournament sucks, especially when you’re both down a match and looking to stay afloat. Since we spent a decent amount of time yesterday playing the matchup, I safely keep a removal dense hand and take over the game accordingly after he bricks on his draws from Flame of Keld.
Sideboard: +2 Chandra’s Defeat +2 Arguel’s Bloodfast +1 Negate +1 Sweltering Suns +1 Yahenni’s Expertise -4 Glint-Sleeve Siphoner -3 Nicol Bolas, the Ravager
I knew he was gonna have a lot of Chandras that clap Nicol Bolas post board, and overall while Nicol Bolas was decent to stabilize on T4, I found that spending my T4 deleting their T4 was a more efficient trade in tempo. Game 2 involves me getting buried under the red tide, with me flailing about with my Negate catching a Chandra - but outside of that it was mostly drowning.
Sideboarding (Game 3): -1 Torrential Gearhulk +1 Negate
I thought the second Negate would be excellent on the play in order to smother his card draw sources, and it worked out in a back and forth game where I dipped down to four to flip my Arguel’s, and Liliana came down to give me a stream of 2 life a turn to get me across the line. Negate caught a Flame of Keld at a critical juncture where it would have let him completely decimate my life total. I aptly bad mannered him, took a photo of the match slip and headed up to the judges table before applying more rub ins.
2-1 (4-4) 2-1
Everyone else at this point had caught up to 2-1, with David being the exception. Good shit. I grabbed a second bottle of water (now, down $6) and chilled out with the team before heading off to next round.
Round 4 - James Chen on Mono-Red Keld Another round, another Sydney snipe which always sucks considering the aim is to see Sydney players do well, but time to bash. I win the die roll and get to work. Game 1 looks like it followed the formula: kill stuff early, play a Scarab God when you can, then take over the game from there.
Sideboarding: See Games 2+3, Round 3 - second Negate included.
Game 2 involves a Chandra, but for all intents and purposes my life total doesn’t dip below 10 after several turns, and I turn the corner quite quickly. In hindsight, I dunno why I was particularly concerned about the matchup, it feels a lot better than UB simply due to Whirler Virtuoso. I go off for my third bottle of water (for those keeping up at home, that’s $9 AUD down now on water) and first bathroom trip, and go spend the hour long lunch break talking about Standard rounds, and having David accidentally order food to our hotel room as opposed to the venue. Good shit.
2-0 (6-4) 3-1
Part 3 - You Underestimate My Power
Link to Deck Picture
We pick 1, pack 1’d the foil Pelakka Wurm, and put the blinders on and saw Green the whole rest of the draft. The Luminous Bonds were passed to me pack 1 quite late in the draft, so I had to believe White was open. I had to deathstare the person looking at their previous picks before the review period despite the two warnings from judges not to do that. It was definitely a train wreck, but I think we did pretty well considering the trainwreck we were getting passed into. Psychic Symbionte (why the weird spelling Wizards?) was an incredibly greedy splash and I never cast it, with it either getting stranded before I drew a blue source, or pitched to Macabre Waltz. It would have been fine if I nabbed the second Meandering River probably? We nabbed the Murder in pack 3 and never looked back.
Round 5 - Dean Williams on RW Smorc I was pretty afraid of any RW deck going into Round 5 - my deck has some decent game with Plague Mare to sweep away some tokens, but overall I think the battle was to survive to cast a Wurm to stabilize.
The games didn’t go as planned - he was playing a removal light, dude dense version of RW and outside of a Sigiled Sword of Valeron I felt pretty comfortable throughout the match. Game 1 I suited up a Vine Mare with Knightly Valor and went to town, he Cleansing Nova’d it away and I stared at the Rise from the Grave in hand which made a fresh Zombie Horse on our next turn. That was very much the beginning of the end.
In the second game, Viashino Pyromancer drew first blood, but between its triggered ability and attacking twice it was the only thing that managed to draw blood as I took down my opponent's life total in chunks. Once again, Vine Mare appeared - but it was working for me, so it was nightmare fuel for someone else for a change.
2-0 (8-4) 4-1
Round 6 - Michael Milton on GW Smorc 4-1 is pretty far ahead of where I thought I’d be day 1. Realities came tumbling down as my opponent ends game 1 on 21, while we end up dead.
Game 2, my back’s on the wall and he manages to push for 6 damage before Pelakka Wurm takes over the game - not much else to say.
The third game is a back and forth affair where he takes me down to 3 early, and ends up with a Star-Crowned Stag and a Pegasus Courser with his life on 7. My board at this point (I believe) is a Giant Spider from the board, a Zombie token and a Skeleton Archer; land in hand. I start attacking with the Skeleton Archer because the only way I win here is if he screws up. He throws the Courser under the bus. This happens again the next turn as he plays a second Courser. After a bit of draw go I eventually hit the wurmyboi and stabilize.
I asked him about it after the game, and he was playing around Titanic Growth (which is fair - but I disagree with the mindset that comes with that decision.) I had to get a little lucky to sneak past here. Deep sigh of relief as I move off to my mates who proceed to either show me dust or diamonds in terms of draft decks.
2-1 (10-5) 5-1
Round 7 - ??? on Temur (if you’re reading this buddy, sorry I forgot your name - it doesn’t show up on pwp!)
By the looks of the scorepad, Game 1 was quite a tight race on both sides but he ended up scraping through with the UG uncommon flying over my board.
Second game was a pretty slow affair where my first life total change was the wurmyboi, only to have it be Switcharoo’d for an Omenspeaker, followed by the UG uncommon making it a flying wurmyboi. Needless to say I packed it up real quick. 5-2 aint too bad for day 1!
0-2 (10-7) 5-2
The team had mixed results as we headed back - a 6-1, two 5-2s, two 4-3s and lets not ask about the last one, but needless to say we headed off into the Canberra night. Two hours later we finally ended up with food from Happy’s, it was decent Chinese but not exactly worth a two hour wait, but the Canadian Club we dragged back to the hotel was - and with free practice of GP Hockenheim starting up we managed to drink our way to bed in preparation for the next day.
Part 4 - I have the high ground, I guess? Bright and sunny start to day 2. I’m a liar. It was -4 celcius when I woke up. It was bloody cold. I spent the first hour of my day goldfishing one of the two Tron decks we had ready to run head first into the PPTQ, asking myself regularly “why don’t I play this shit more often” and my favourite question to ask when goldfishing “how do I lose?”. Same swanky cafe for breakfast, baked eggs hit the spot on such a frigid day before we headed back out to the venue for the second draft.
Link to draft deck 2:
This one felt nuts. I picked a Lich’s Caress pick 1 pack 1 over a Lathiss (controversial, I know), then proceeded to take all the good black stuff and green stuff that came past. The Thorn Lieutenant came to me in pack 3 alongside the Prodigious Growth, just to show how wide open green was. The Druid of Horns package was a little loose, but the plan was to board it out whenever it was bad for 2 Ghastbark Twins and a Titanic Growth. Needless to say, I was hoping to run into every token based deck possible…
Round 8 - Lyndon Maher on RW splash B This match went by quickly. Game 1 I swept away 4 2/2s worth of knights with a double Plague Mare turn and that quickly closed out the game. Second game, we kept in the Oakenform/Druid package and we quickly found ourselves on the back foot as we took a big swing for 12 early. That was the only damage we took the whole game was we quickly took over on the board after we weathered the storm.
2-0 (12-7) 6-2
A quick scope around with the team still playing the main event and everyone was still live. Good shit.
Round 9 - Grant Boyanton on Mono Red I was getting pretty nervous at this point, but I also had some extremely high expectations for the deck so I got back into the zone. Now $18 AUD down on water, we went on to our next round. The first game involved went quickly into a creature bogfest, with our opponent pooping out tonnes of 1/1s and Plague Mare does the damage He smashed early with a hasted Inferno Hellion that knocked me down to 6, but I managed to stabilize and the Lich’s Caress puts us out of reach of burn spells (Guttersnipe DansGame) as we clean up the game. Oakenhorn stayed in for the next game as it did wonders in clogging the board game 1.
Viashino Pyromancer once again draws first blood, but our opponent only knocks us to 10 while we take down his lifetotals in increments of 8. Plague Mare might end up being the waifu.
2-0 (14-7) 7-2
Round 10 - Ryan Cubit on BW Lifegain (15th) For some reason, they decided to put the lunch break between rounds 2 and 3 of the draft. That one might be my only tournament complaint as I wanted to ride my momentum into the last round of draft. I saw Ryan was in my pod and quite early I identified him as the real threat of the draft - I’d hoped someone else would snipe him down to the 1-1 bracket, but there he was (at the time, he was the Australian Pro Point leader, now he’s tied for first again). Well shit.
Honestly, the first two games were a bit of a blur back and forth, so I can’t really write on them with much context as the third game took a whole lot of my memory. Game 3 was a back and forth grindfest, where I had almost ran out of cards in my library and I managed to sneak in the last points of damage necessary despite missing a Poison-Tip Archer trigger. He showed me the rest of his library and it was a plethora of 5 drop threats and removal and I had to be really lucky to get out of that match unscathed (he drew all 17 lands!). The sideboard plan finally kicked in alongside a Plummet and a Daggerback Basilisk. Everything had to come together just right and it did.
No pressure kid. Just need to win one Standard round, what could possibly go wrong?
2-1 (16-8) 8-2
Round 11 - Ben Yulli on RB Aggro (Top 4) I wished him luck and quipped:
“Blue sleeves, Flooded Strand promo playmat, must be a ruse for a red deck right?” 
A shaky 6 greeted me and before I knew it, a Bomat Courier had snuck in for the first points.
“Nailed it.” 
I then proceeded to stall out, while he was playing Ahn-Crop Crasher which proceeded to ruin my life as I tried (with little effect) to block everything with Whirler Virtuoso. Needless to say, I couldn’t stop the bleeding fast enough.
Sideboarding: +2 Chandra’s Defeat +2 Arguel’s Bloodfast +1 Glimmer of Genius +1 Sweltering Suns +1 Yahenni’s Expertise -4 Glint-Sleeve Siphoner -3 Nicol Bolas, the Ravager
I had figured in the other games at this point that the second Gearhulk was good, but Ahn-Crop made me very averse to that kind of plan (look, in hindsight I imagine the second Gearhulk woulda done work, but I was just running through my logic here). I don’t mind Glimmer in this kind of matchup as it lets you do something on turns where the plan is to hold up Vraska’s Contempt. Alongside the equity you get during those Vraska’s Contempt turns, Glimmer adds some much needed card advantage after cutting the Siphoners. If he wasn’t playing Ahn-Crop, I’d say this plan was great.
Ahh, game 2, how I wish I didn’t have to relive you. The first seven was landless, the second six was all lands, and the five did about as best as it could to keep me alive.
It wasn’t enough. I signed the match slip and sighed myself out of there. At the moment I needed it most, the luck had run out.
0-2 (16-10) 8-3
I moved slowly towards the team to find out that the other two boys still live in the main event are still live or locked for top 8. Absolutely needed to hear that news to raise my spirits about the next round. It felt so unimportant to play the next round, but I was told there was a chance I could slip in as my breakers were insane.
Only one way to find out.
Round 12 - Keiren Macdonald on the Mirror (28th) Once again, I didn’t really record this game properly but I felt in control for most of both the games. In match 1, my life total never changed while I had every correct answer to hit all his threats on time while he was land screwed, and by the time he had recovered my advantage in cards took the wheel from there. All three Champion of Wits saw their way out of my graveyard, and usually that does the damage.
Sideboarding: +2 Arguel's Bloodfast +1 Negate +1 Jace’s Defeat +1 The Eldest Reborn +1 Sploosh Hulk -3 Abrade -2 Harnessed Lightning -1 Supreme Will
Game 2 felt a lot like game 1, I always had the answer cause I’m a sack and after a long slog through some Vraska’s Contempts I finally stuck a Scarab God. He extended the hand before I started activating it.
2-0 (18-10) 9-3
After walking over to hand in my match slip, I ran quickly over to the ‘feature match tables’ to see one of my team mates bashing another Sydney player to see who makes it into top 8. On the other table, David (my round 3 opponent, team mate and all around sack) had snuck his way into the top 8 despite the 1-2 start. It was extremely awkward having to root for my boi Benaya over another Sydney player, but once he won we all were ecstatic. Two people in my room in the top 8 was what they’d call a deece plus weekend despite my choke on top 8. I stood patiently for the top 8 announcement with very little hope to make it and that feeling was validated. Was locked out from the start of the round, oh well.
The team settled in to watch their top 8 matches before heading out to the casino to celebrate with a really good 9 course meal from Natural Nine - definitely recommend for those who head out there, followed by losing my Flooded Strand promo during the credit-card game. Whoops. Just to add insult to injury, Lewis Hamilton just had to win GP Hockenheim to increase the salt count in the room.
Epilogue - Is this really podracing? The weekend was a blast. I’m out of good words. The return to Nationals as a tournament was an excellent decision by Wizards as it wholeheartedly managed to unify regions of Australia under banners. I walked away very proud of Sydney’s performance.
Grixis is great. I’m extremely glad I only saw horses either: In my draft decks and On the ride over.
Avoid drafting white, that shit sucks and is overdrafted alongside red.
Big thanks to my team for the overall support and for their own damn excellent performance. None of us could have done it on our own so thank you to you guys. Shoutout to you the reader for actually making it this far through 12 rounds of ramble.
I stream occasionally on twitch.tv/syreal_ - check it out if you want to see me flail around haplessly on Affinity (or my original love, Modern Elves) some time.
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Numerical, A-C 10k-50k

0xProject 100DaysofKeto 100pushups 100thieves 11foot8 1200isfineIGUESSugh 1200isjerky 1200isplentyketo 13ReasonsWhy 15minutefood 1911 195 1DaySkill 23andme 24hoursupport 2b2t 2mad4madlads 30PlusSkinCare 32dollars 360video 3Blue1Brown 3d6 3Dmodeling 3DSdeals 3dsFCswap 3dsmax 3dspiracy 40k 40kOrkScience 45thworldproblems 4chanExploitables 4ChanMeta 4hourbodyslowcarb 4Runner 4x4 4Xgaming 52book 52weeksofcooking 5ToubunNoHanayome 6thForm 7daystodie 80s 80sdesign 80smusic 90dayfianceuncensored 90daysgoal 90s 90sAlternative 90scartoons 90sdesign 90sHipHop 90smusic 9gag 9M9H9E9

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Foreign Ownership of Land Register, Safe and Secure Rentals and Airport Authority Publicising Lost Property Sales drawn from ballot + Members Day Update

How the Day Unfolded
12 Questions to Ministers were answered
1 Question to a member was answered
The General Debate was Held
The general debate is held every week on Wednesday after Question Time. The formal procedure for the debate is that a member move a motion that the house take note of miscellaneous business. Members have 5 minutes to speak to whatever issue they wish. At the end of the hour the motion lapses and no question is put or vote taken.
The speakers were:
Call Member Party Seat Topic
1. Andrew Little Labour List Housing, The Budget, The State of the Govt
2. Amy Adams National Selwyn The Labour Greens MOU & Government announcements in the past 4 weeks
3. Iain Lees-Galloway Labour Palmerston North Immigration
4. Anne Tolley National East Coast Welfare Reforms & Regional Development
5. Ron Mark New Zealand First List Immigration & the rise of New Zealand First at the expense of Labour and National
6. Craig Foss National Tukituki Andrew Little v Stuart Nash and East Coast development
7. Peter Dunne United Future Ohariu Children in New Zealand
8. Sarah Dowie National Invercargill Economic Growth and Development in Southland
9. Marama Davidson Green List Housing
10. Jono Naylor National List Recent Government Announcements
11. Louisa Wall Labour Manurewa Social Development & homelessness
12. Dr Shane Reti National Whangarei Government achievements and announcements
A transcript of the debate can be found – here
Private and Local Orders of the Day
Member’s Orders of the Day
  • The Minimum Wage (Contractor Remuneration) Amendment Bill was read a second time. This bill is in the name of Labour list MP David Parker. This Bill amends the Minimum Wage Act 1983 to extend its provisions to apply to payments under a contract for services that are remunerated at below the minimum wage. Act and National voted against the bill but the vote was won after United Future voted in favour of the bill.
  • The first reading of the Oaths and Declarations (Endorsing the Principles of the Treaty of Waitangi) Amendment Bill was not agreed to. The purpose of this bill is to ensure that a person taking any oath set out in statute may, in addition to the words of the oath, elect to state that they will perform their duties in accordance with the principles of the Treaty of Waitangi.
    This bill saw spirited debate including the contribution of Treaty Affairs Minister and Attorney General Chris Finlayson (National – list). Arguments in favour contended that one could swear an oath on a bible to uphold the law according to their religious belief but not to uphold the principles of the Treaty that founded our nation. The counter argument was one based on the lack of need and that government agencies already uphold the principles of the treaty during their day to day activities and are required to consider them during decision making.
    The votes were:
    Party Aye Nay
    National 0 59
    Labour 32 0
    Green 14 0
    New Zealand First 0 12
    Maori 2 0
    Act 1 0
    United Future 1 0
    Total 50 71
  • The Social Security (Stopping Benefit Payments for Offenders who Repeatedly Fail to Comply with Community Sentences) Amendment Bill was read a first time. The bill was passed 61 – 60. This bill is in the name of National MP for Rodney Mark Mitchell. This bill would give the Department of Corrections the power to issue warnings to persons who have not complied with community-based sentences, with the consequence of withholding benefit payments. It has been referred to the Social Services Select Committee.
Debate Interrupted
  • The debate on the Customs and Excise (Prohibition of Imports Made by Slave Labour) Amendment Bill was interrupted when Mark Mitchell (National – Rodney) was speaking with 9 speeches remaining. The bill is in the name of Labour’s Tāmaki Makaurau MP Peeni Henare and amends the Customs and Excise Act 1996 to make goods produced in whole or in part by slave labour a prohibited import. National have indicated they will be voting against the bill.
The Biscuit Tin of Democracy
It has been a while but the biscuit tin has been dusted off and there was space for 3 bills to be drawn today. 79 bills were entered into the ballot.
The winning bills were:
Psephology Spotlight
Elections Concluded
  • In South Africa the ruling African National Congress suffered massive losses in their worst election performance since the end of Apartheid. The municipal council elections (which are conducted under MMP) saw the ANC lose majority control of many battleground cities including Johannesburg and Nelson Mandela Bay and minor parties now are engaging in coalition talks between the ANC and opposition Democratic Alliance over who gets to control the council. In the last election the ANC garnered 62% of the popular vote whereas this year they mustered 54%. Corruption and economic woes are attributed to the swing away from the ANC. Famously President Zuma was found by the Constitutional Court to have benefited from $16 million worth of illegal expenditure to his personal home. In another example local corruption resulted in hundreds of toilets being built, row upon row, where houses should be instead.- see 1:20 in the video The ANC have promised to do a review in preparation for the next general election in 2019 and the position of President Zuma appears to be on shakey ground. However, many factions within the party are loyal to Zuma and it is thought that it is unlikely he could be brought down without a fight. Turnout was particularly key to the election results. Significant amounts of the population are still loyal to the ANC and so express their dissatisfaction by not turning up to vote, as they will not vote for any other party. Winning these groups back by 2019 is the new priority for the ANC and the opposition is hoping to win them over by bringing new leadership to local government.
  • The small African island nation of São Tomé and Príncipe has a new president after their August 7 vote. The first round was held on July 17 and provisional results suggested that challenger Evaristo Carvalho, a former Prime Minister, had won but the result was annulled due to irregularities. Incumbent president Pinto da Costa boycotted the second round after claiming Carvalho engaged in fraudulent activity in round 1 meaning Carvalho was elected unopposed. Costa served as the nation’s first president from 1975 – 1991 and was elected again in 2011. He will leave office in early September.
Upcoming Elections
  • Presidential elections will be held in Gabon on 28 August 2016. The president serves a seven year term and is elected via first past the post. The issue for the opposition is that given the multitude of candidates standing (14 are approved to be on the ballot) vote splitting may result in incumbent President Ali Bongo Ondimba sneaking back into office much like how Ondimba was first elected in 2009. Former United Nations General Assembly President and Gabonese Foreign Minister Jean Ping is considered Ondimba’s toughest competition. Ping served under Ondimba’s father who was president of Gabon from 1967 until his death in 2009 and was involved in demonstrations against Ondimba which were broken up by police.
  • General elections and a constitutional referendum will be held in Zambia on 11 August. At stake are 150 members of the National Assembly, the five year term of president and an amendment to the Bill of Rights. The amendment would see Economic, Social, Cultural and Environmental rights inserted alongside civil and political rights. Additionally the referendum if approved would see the rules for amendments to the constitution and bill of rights changed. In the race for president Edgar Lungu of the Patriotic Front is hoping to be elected to his first full term in office after winning the 2015 presidential by election. He is facing a rematch with Hakainde Hichilema of the United Party for National Development who missed out on victory by 27,757 votes last time in a race that still is disputed. The election method is two round first past the post. The Patriotic Front currently has a plurality of seats (60) in the multi party National Assembly who are elected via first past the post.
Fact of the Day – Housing the Prime Minister
All over the world Prime Ministers and leaders receive as a perk of their office a home that they can reside in throughout their tenure. In the United Kingdom it is 10 Downing Street, The French Prime Minister calls Hôtel Matignon home, The Prime Minister of Canada gets 24 Sussex Drive while the Prime Minister of India gets 7, Race Course Road (A.K.A Panchavati). In Australia the Prime Minister has The Lodge in Canberra and Kirribilli House in Sydney. In New Zealand it is Premier House but this hasn't always been the case.
In the early days of the New Zealand Parliament, premiers were required to find their own accommodation. This changed in 1865 when the capital moved to Wellington and the government acquired a simple 22-year-old wooden cottage in Thorndon’s Tinakori Road. This was a damp, flood-prone gully, but it was close to Parliament. A Wellington newspaper, elated by the city’s new status, thought the £2900 price ‘cheap’. An Auckland paper called it a ‘monstrous waste of public money’.
New Zealands sixth Premier, Frederick Weld, didn’t get to spend long in the house. Weld made many enemies by overseeing the moving of the capital to Auckland from Wellington as well as seeing the confiscation of more than a million acres of land from Waikato Maori. The finances of his government were precarious at best and his relations with the Governor soured over the withdrawal of British Troops. In October 1865 his government resigned after less than a year in the position.
With the arrival of the Vogel family in 1872 the house adopted the name “the casino” and consisted of 8 bedrooms with conservatory and ballroom. The ballroom got a hammering. They made Premier House the social centre of Wellington. In July 1876 Lady Vogel sent out 250 invitations to a calico fancy dress ball, ‘the most brilliant of its kind yet seen in this city’. The Vogels also imported New Zealand’s first lawn tennis set, though Sir Julius was too unfit to chase the ball far.
In 1884 the Vogels returned for another three years. Sir Julius was obese and gouty, so Cabinet often met in an office built in the house. In 1886 he added a lift to take him from the dining room up to his bedroom.
After the Vogels moved out, the government tried to sell the property. But the press and public fought back. Wellington people valued its spacious grounds as a public amenity. Only the furniture was sold. Some suggested turning the site into an old men’s home or a university, but it stayed empty. MPs’ salaries had been cut, and the Liberal ministers of the 1890s had to live cheaply. Premier Richard John Seddon lived in a modest ministerial residence at 47 Molesworth Street. ‘This isn’t at all a nice house; it is surrounded, like a nunnery, with a high and close and ugly wooden fence, and presents a dismal appearance’, a voter complained. Seddon’s son remembered it fondly as ‘a political house. Politics was the sole subject day after day – at breakfast, dinner and tea.’
The Tinakori Street residence, vacant since 1893, was leased out from 1896 to 1900, when it became a ministerial residence again.
The house’s fortunes recovered when Seddon’s deputy, Joseph Ward, moved in. Ward, soon to be Sir Joseph, and prime minister from 1906, named it Awarua House. Like Vogel, he enjoyed the good life. The Wards threw ‘at homes’, garden parties, receptions, garden fetes, balls and wedding receptions. Sometimes over 1000 people gathered there. When Governor Ranfurly dropped in for a chat, they served him whisky in special large glasses. Sir Joseph liked to free office hours for talking or socialising. So he spent the early morning in his study in pyjamas and dressing gown, signing the documents delivered by his chief secretaries.
William Massey, the house’s next lengthy occupant, renamed it Ariki Toa, ‘home of the chief’. During the First World War the Masseys used it for patriotic activities.
In 1925, Gordon Coates called Ariki Toa ‘a happy home … a haven of rest’. That year he rebuilt the conservatory and added an enclosed veranda above it. Four years later Cabinet again tried to sell it. ‘Sunless and damp, and the gardening costly and unnecessary’, an official sniffed. But again, public protests prevented a sale.
Ariki Toa’s role as the prime minister’s official house ended in the 1930s when George Forbes moved out. In 1935 the new prime minister, Michael Joseph Savage, a frugal bachelor, made the break permanent by choosing a smaller ministerial home in Molesworth Street. Three years later, dying of cancer, he moved into Hill Haven, 66 Harbour View Road, in the suburb of Northland. Prime Minister Peter Fraser decided to remain in Hill Haven throughout the 1940’s preferring its scenic outlook.
Sidney Holland preferred a place with a guest bathroom. He renovated 41 Pipitea Street in Thorndon. This brick house is close to Parliament, but its surroundings were still industrial, ‘with a brewery chimney quite close, a paint factory next door, commercial offices (B.P. Ltd) on the eastern boundary.’ The section had a small lawn in front and room for a clothes line behind, but the house was too small to entertain official guests.
Holland’s National successor Keith Holyoake also lived there. In 1966 the air was still ‘sodden with the smell of hops and malt from the brewery up the street, and jackhammers are busy tearing down Victorian ruins all around.’ But the economy-minded Holyoake dismissed all suggestions of building a new official residence. The Holyoakes put buckets under the leaks in the kitchen roof whenever it rained. Today Pipitea Street is still an important part of New Zealand politics and serves as the home of the National Party offices
Holyoake was not as eccentric as he might seem. Ministerial houses were seldom very flash. Every time the government changed, prime ministers-elect trotted around these places, often still occupied by defeated ministers and their families. In November 1972, for example, Norman Kirk and his wife, Ruth, went house hunting. Because they knew Holyoake had let 41 Pipitea Street deteriorate, they did not even bother to look at it. They chose a Seatoun house recommended by their ministerial driver.
The Ministry of Works looked after ministers’ houses. As many had been bought only to be demolished for motorways and other development, it skimped on their maintenance and furnishing. Television came to New Zealand in 1960, but the Ministry waited until 1965 before providing TV aerials for ministers’ houses. Ministers paid for their own sets until 1973, when Cabinet made them free – provided the screens did not exceed 23 inches (58 cm).
In 1976 New Zealand regained an official home for its prime minister for the first time in 40 years. Ten years earlier, Jocelyn Vogel had given Vogel House in Lower Hutt to the Crown to mark 100 years of Parliament in Wellington. Designed in 1933 by Helmore and Cotterill, it was one of the Hutt Valley’s last large houses designed for a family and domestic staff.
Prime Minister Robert Muldoon rushed to refurbish Vogel House in time for a dinner for the visiting Queen Elizabeth II in February 1977. He was our first modern leader able to offer VIPs proper hospitality. David Lange, who succeeded Muldoon in 1984, never liked Vogel House and kept his family in Auckland. He ‘camped’ in a tiny first floor apartment in the house, moaning about the staff folding the edge of the toilet paper in neat triangles, hotel-style. Finding it too far from the Beehive, he saw out his term as prime minister in a flat near Parliament.
After Michael Joseph Savage rejected Tinakori Street, it became ‘the murder house’, a children’s dental clinic. The Public Works Department raised seedlings at the front of the grounds. In 1977 the dental nurses moved out, leaving the property empty. In the early to mid-1980s the Ministry of Works repiled the building and fitted sprinklers, but it remained underutilised. Some wanted to redevelop the site, but the Thorndon Society and the Historic Places Trust defended its heritage qualities. It is a Category I historic place on the Trust register. In the late 1980s, Minister of Internal Affairs Michael Bassett decided to restore 260 Tinakori Road as an official prime ministerial residence. The conservation of Premier House, as they renamed it, was a 1990 Sesquicentennial project. That year Geoffrey Palmerand his wife, Margaret, became its first official residents.
Premier House has housed every subsequent prime minister. Some made it a family home, but Helen Clark and John Key kept their families in Auckland, using Premier House as a workday squat. ‘There’s a little corner which has the bedroom and the bathroom, and … I go into the bedroom somewhere around midnight or later,’ Clark said in 2002. ‘The alarm goes in the morning, I wander along to the kitchen, I turn on the jug and make a cup of tea. Then I’m out of there.’
Nevertheless, Premier House hosts VIPs, such as Prince William, who attended a barbecue there in 2010. It is also used by politicians and officials for meetings and is the venue for events such as awards ceremonies. Premier House was one of the few Crown-owned ministerial houses retained by the government recently after it reformed ministerial expenses, terminated many leases and put ministers on to flat allowances to cover their Wellington expenses.
Information provided by NZhistory.net.nz
Previous facts of the day: Speaker's flat, Urgency, Jernigham Wakefield, Sidney Holland and the Suicide Squad, 1951 the last majority election, The Business Committee, New Zealand's First Parliament in Auckland, 1947 Greymouth beer boycott, So goes Hamilton so goes the nation, Australia and Compulsory Voting
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The Melbourne Ritual

It was raining lightly. I slinked along the Yarra Promenade, heading away from the crown casino amidst the somber Melbourne crowds. I spotted Kenny standing on the Evan Walker bridge, looking down into the water, staring at patterns of concentric circles of raindrops hitting water— cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
He was in off duty clothing. Brown fleece collar jacket, characteristic sunglasses and exposed balding head with tufts of stringy black hair. I’ve been spying on Officer Lothar for over a month. Ever since the yellow envelope turned up on my desk, addressed, ‘Urgent. For the eyes of -P. Dronefire’—inserted, a photograph of our mate Kenny, and a stack of hundred dollar notes. That’s me, Pharlap Dronefire’, (I work as a private investigator, from my inexpensive offices in South Yarra.)
Kenny’s been staying in a hotel in Southbank since Monday. I watched with binoculars— and waited till he left this afternoon, then followed behind him on the busy bridge crowds, crossing the river as the last glimmering rays of the sun fell behind the skyline of skyscrapers, domes and architraves on the Hexton North bank.
They say there are no corrupt cops anymore, well it’s true the old boys clubs were all taken down by the commissions in the 90’s and 00’s. They aren’t hiding in plain sight perhaps, but the smart ones just evolved, Kenny Lothar is one of the most cunning corrupt cops I’ve ever reviewed. A real bastard. If my hunch is right, Lothar dropped business mogul Art Herraway off the very same bridge I now watched him standing on, chopped up body parts in a green garbage bag —submerged now beneath ice cold, turpid Victorian water. That was three years ago today, it’s no wonder Kenny was staring down so melancholically into the green water of the Yarra river. He’s got a lot to think about.
We cross through the Flinders Street Station tunnel, and I follow at a safe distance in the busy commuter crowds. I almost lose sight of him as the green and yellow tram pulls past, ringing it’s gentle chime— but I just catch his frame as Kenny ducks into a small Vietnamese restaurant on the other side of the street. Shortly, I sneak in and take a seat at a small table behind a patterned screen, where I can see him but he can’t see me.
I order a raw beef Pho, taking a moment to absorb my surroundings and re examine Kenny’s case files in my mind. Something happened whilst Lothar was on the beat in Sydney, I’m sure he was involved with a murder that happened on Mcellhorne stairs in Kings Cross. Then he gets some contacts in the Victorian Police and transfers to Melbourne, but whatever he was up to in Sydney— he’s continuing it down here—I’m sure of that. There’s an underworld of clues, from the Walsh street massacre, to the gangland killings of the nineties. Unsolved murders and connections that create a puzzle leading straight to Kenny. Twenty two orange gold fish swish their tails longingly in a nearby fish tank next to a wooden statue of Bhudda. Fumes and aromas float over the counter adorned with green dragon carvings and a row of ceramic maneki-neko cats waving their arms in unison, below— Kenny’s balding head wrinkles with tension as he waits for his food.
I won’t pretend he doesn’t scare me. If it were just for Kenny’s underbelly credentials, and links to the Melbourne mafia— that would be enough to make me think twice about taking the case. But there’s more to Kenny Lothar than just power and murder. He is into some strange things— the occult. Pacts, rituals, self flaggelation. The case is so out of my usual line of work, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I am doing taking it up.
I was slurping cautiously at my pho for two or three minutes before I got the break I needed. Kenny stands up to use the bathroom, leaving his wallet on the table. I know I’ve only got a slim chance to get it right, standing up as if I’m also going to relieve myself, then the subtle yawn, and sleight of hand. Before anyone notices I’m back out on the street, not having paid for my Pho, running —and holding the keycard for Kenny’s hotel room in my pocketed hand.
The rain increases. You get some weird cases as a Private Investigator. Most are straightforward; spying on cheating partners, divorce cases, over protective parents. Then there’s the ten percent, the odd cases from secretive private contractors, where you only learn bits and pieces about your client, what they want to find out and why. No doubt a lot of it is criminal linked, even though I do my best to filter out those types of clientele. Some of them are just perverts, mad eccentrics. This particular client was extremely secretive. Dealt only in cash, and written correspondence. I’d have hesitated entirely from being involved, but it’s good pay— and I’d do just about anything to help nail that prick Lothar.
As I’m walking back over the bridge towards Kenny’s hotel I start thinking about the objectives. The guy wanted pictures of Kenny’s hotel room— he was very specific about that. Seems very hung up on Kenny’s private activities. Wanted detailed notes and photographs on any occult rituals he was conducting. I mean—What the fuck, right? Ever get the feeling you’re getting caught up in the dangerous weekend games of eccentric rich people?
I pulled my collar up, ducking out of the rain inconspicuously into the Travelodge lobby. Trying to appear casual and sure of myself as I walked past reception and entered the elevator.
Kenny’s apartment was on the tenth floor, apartment 1001. Fortunately there was no one else in the lift, and I guiltlessly approached Kenny’s door once in the top floor. He had the ‘No servicing- do not disturb’ card over the door handle. The keycard tripped the beeping lock, and the door opened. There was a strange musty smell that hit me the instant I opened the door to his room.
Then the vision hit my eyes, he had been busy! Kenny’s hotel room was messy. It was a fairly big room, one huge decorative pillar marking the left wall, and drawn velvet curtains adorning broad, thick windows overlooking the city. There was a hexagonal table beneath the window covered in papers, and an adjacent chair on top of a zebra patterned rug which seemed to be concealing something staining the floorboards. The floor of the adjacent room was covered in curious objects that required detailed analysis. I resolved to first examine the table and the rug. Moving aside the chair, I quickly flipped up the zebra rug, and gasped as I observed the curious design beneath.
I took three photographs of the symbol with my phone, before continuing my analysis. It was a huge symbol, inked on the floorboards. The pattern was a kind of triangle with three six-shaped arms attached to all the vertices. My first thought was that the red stain was painted with blood, but as I touched the wet surface I concluded that it was more likely some thick kind of ink, pigment or paint. Certainly the symbol had been created for ritual occult purposes, thus far unknown.
I carefully placed the rug exactly where it was, so everything would be found exactly where Kenny had left it.
From my current vantage point I could see that there were two more symbols painted red on the walls in the first room; a circle with a serpentine line running through it on the left wall, and a symmetrical triad of lines on the right wall. I took some more photos of the symbols, and the layout of the first room with my phone.
I sat down at the table now, quickly examining the note books, covered in scrawled handwriting, books and reference material scattering the surface. It was immediately clear to me, that all of the written material was directly related to the ritual which Kenny had been enacting in the adjacent room— so I figured I’d better get a look at that room before any of the written material would make a lick of sense.
I walked cautiously towards the doorway marking the dark room beyond. I tried the light switch, but it appeared that Kenny had tampered with the power circuit. I turned the flash feature on, and snapped a few more pics of the dark room.
A friend of mine was a cop, who investigated the Hotel room of Vegas Shooter Stephen Paddock, the guy who turned his hotel room into a fortress of guns, before killing 58 and injuring 515 people at a country music concert. My friend had told me going inside that room had filled him with such a sickness and revulsion at being in the lair of such a demented mastermind he’d had to take psychological leave for a month. I was starting to feel the same sickness exploring Kenny’s hotel room.
The most obvious aspect of the layout of the darkened room was the kind of checkerboard Kenny had painted in the middle of the room. The entrance to the room was marked in each corner by two pillars, with square plinths, and miniature stair cases leading down each side. Leaning against the ridged pillars were an ornate Axe, and on the other side was a heavy, Ancient gold shield emblazoned with a red scorpion.
Scattered all around the checkerboard were a vast array of objects which could at first be construed as random clutter, but only slowly developed a sense of order — that chilled me to the bones. Drawn on squares of the checkerboard I could make out an upside down crescent moon in the lower corner, and a thin, narrow isosceles triangle in the upper right corner. To my horror, I saw too, in the centre of the checkerboard was a yellow piece of parchment — upon which appeared to be resting ; a bleeding, severed human hand. I now realised with abhorrent terror that the red liquid pouring from the severed hand was the same texture of the symbols in the first room, they had indeed been inked in somebody’s blood. Victim currently unknown. The smell of death became suddenly more disconcerting.
At the back of the room, lining the entry to the bedroom there were two classic statues, of Ancient Greek appearance, depicting the forms of two voluptuous women. Immediately in front of me, at the foot of the doorway to the darkened room was a sigil— two circles joined together by a malignant double-U.
I was unable to process the other scattered objects at that time, so resolved to return to Kenny’s notes which would hopefully bring some clarity or closure as to the meaning of these horrific scenes.
Once more, I sat down at Kenny’s chair. I flicked through several lined note pads, until I found a diagrammatic illustration of some of the items in the other room. This did help provide context to at least some of the items in Kenny’s ritual. Nothing about the severed hand.
The illustrations were grotesque and horrific. The placement of items in the other room mimicked very closely the items in the illustration, but the labels didn’t provide much more than a superficial meaning to the display. The shield leaning against the left pillar, with the scorpion engraved on it was marked as ‘Soldier’s Shield from Motaris’, whilst the decorative axe leaning against the right pillar was labelled ‘The Axe of Sagron’. Scanning the other illustrations I saw that the W shaped sigil was revered as the ‘Sigil of the Star Diver’, whilst the two statues of naked women were labelled ‘The Godess of the Dawn’ and ‘The Sister of the Moon’ respectively. These sculptures were given particular significance—as an ethereal field between the feminine statues was labelled ‘The Gateway’.
Another marking got my attention, and I had to return to the darkened room to confirm its presence, because I hadn’t noticed it the first time. Sure enough, inlaid beside the checkered board there was a cornucopia wedged on a tripod from which fumes were emerging- grey streamers billoughing through the darkness. Based on the diagram I gathered that there was ritual incense burning in the cornucopia and that this was the origin of that strange smell I had noticed on first entering the apartment. Returning to the diagrams, I began to panic as I realised that the herbs burning in the cornucopia weren’t in fact incense as I had first deduced, but some form of hallucinogen— utilised to accelerate the heightened state required for completion of the ritual.
Instantly I started to feel light headed, wondering if the hallucinogen was already taking some effect upon me. I must have inhaled quite a large amount already, I covered my mouth with a handkerchief to create a temporary toxin mask.
Just then, my paranoia was exacerbated, as I heard a clanking noise at the front door. I shivered, my soul sinking. Had Kenny returned early and been granted a spare keycard from reception? I cowered beneath the door, my heart began to pound in my chest like a professional’s basketball. Once more the door latch quivered and shook as though somebody were jangling the latch on the other side. Finally a voice called out, it was a vibrato tone, female, with an Eastern European accent; ‘Mr Lothar? This is cleaning. Do you want the service? Clean sheets? Mr Lothar?’ I breathed a sigh of relief, and summoned the deepest voice I could; ‘No thank you. Busy thank you.’ The sound of trolley wheels slinking away indicated the woman had taken the hint.
I breathed heavily, trying to recuperate from the trauma. As I stumbled away from the door, suddenly I felt a terrible sensation within. I realised that the hallucinogens were indeed taking effect. My head throbbed, and my face grew red, filling with blood. Then my eyes began to mist up, and I felt my body growing weak— soon I fell to the carpet upon my knees.
My vision was drawn to the terrifying sight beyond the large glass window— framed by red, velvet curtains. Something had occurred outside. Something uncanny and horrific. The day had changed. The sun was gone. Nature had somehow leapt off its natural track of organic physics. That which we call daylight and night had lost dimensional form, and their aspect had merged with the vast indescribable void of the universe.
It is almost impossible to describe the hallucinations I saw outside that window, except to say that the Melbourne skyline was changing rapidly, in the nature of a time-lapse video. Architecture, once familiar became foreign and disorientating. It was as though I was watching the build up of human culture along the Yarra from a perspective outside of the usual constraints of time. I remembered from my history classes, that the aboriginal Wurundjeri tribes had called the Yarra river Birrarrung, meaning "Place of Mists and Shadows". Never did this description seem so apt, for what appeared to me now — a world only perceivable as a kind of fog of place. First, all of civilisation seemed to vanish, as indigenous tribes gathered beneath gum trees for their corroborees, then did I see white settlers, and British red coats come and conquer the land, then suddenly dark and futuristic sky scrapers leapt from the earth.
Now something happened that even further defied explanation. My body seemed to grow numb and limp, and collapsed upon the floor. The truly strange aspect however, was that I watched this happen, seemingly from outside my own body. I found myself now, somehow as a ghost inhabiting the space apparently outside of my usual physical and mental constraints.
As I looked around the hotel room, everything within seemed ominously different, red hued and sinister. Particularly a curious demonic glow originated from the other room where the ritualistic items had been laid out upon the floor. There was an odd electric energy coming from within that room now.
Most of all, there was a plainly visible force field of energy growing, like a vortex, between the statues of the two Greek Godesses. This vortex now seemed to open up, like a gateway—- onto a world with a red sky. Beyond the gate was an immense marble staircase leading downwards into some unknown ethereal city.
I summoned up the courage to journey through the gates, knowing that I was surely hallucinating from the unknown drug, but prepared to ride it out. I stepped down the strange marble steps, coming into an unknown, slightly futuristic city. Perhaps it was Melbourne in the future, I couldn’t discern with any confidence. There did seem to be some grand palace or castle where the Crown Casino had been, and Kings Road was marked by a distinct vibrant road built of shiny red bricks.
There were no cars, or streetlights- but all around were immense skyscrapers and modernist buildings made of glass and steel. The river water of the Yarra had apparently dried up completely. I soon stood on the ground where once the Waterside Workers Hotel had been, there was now only a curious labyrinth of white, marble stair cases leading up and down in a confused jumble of intention. For a moment I sat on the step, flustered and bewildered by the strange situation and the concrete real ness of my imaginary world. I felt the presence of a kind of grid of familiarity— stretching out on the horizon. I felt strange allures pulling me and enticing me onwards. I feared these forces, and yet could not deny them. There was an odd heat and humidity. Something was compelling me to descend further down upon the staircases, heading underground into the catacombs beneath this strange city. The further down I went, the more intense the heat became, until finally there appeared an open platform which looked out into a vast abyss of plateaued rock and raging flame.
Amidst the hades-like landscape in the lower caverns, my hallucinations now took full and plain form. Amidst the acreage of darkness and flame a titanic figure now came forward. The giant’s skin was lush crimson, and his naked body was taught and muscular, his head barely resembling some insectoid creature of earth. But the enormous, many sphered and barbed tail which swung from his buttocks, and his claw-like hands identified him as a giant humanoid scorpion of some form. The scorpion demon, who was half engulfed in flames now bent in the darkness, almost crouching in the opposite direction to me. I soon discerned that he was engaging to speak with another small figure, perched on a plateau of rock far out on the other side of the chasm.
Something even more peculiar happened then; my body suddenly seemed to go utterly limp. At first falling in an almost fainting motion, my mind suddenly faded as though into a dream-like place. I was no longer a walking human, but a floating invisible mass, a watching eyeball floating over the caverns of fire. Soon, I drifted and became the voyeur overlooking the terrible scorpion being, and as I grew closer I soon was able to view with clarity the other being he was talking to on the rocky plateau.
It was Kenny Lothar.
I tried to analyse my dream logic, obviously it made sense that I would hallucinate about Kenny, he was at the forefront of my mind due to the case. But as I began to overhear the conversation of the unlikeliest acquaintances, I marvelled at my mind’s fantastic longing.
‘The ritual is underway’, the sinister balding figure in sunglasses had stated. The immense flaming scorpion being flexed it’s muscular neck, and clamped it’s jaw, leering like an avalanche over Kenny; ‘Do you know what forces come to roost under cover of the red skies of Val Galais?’ Asked the scorpion in a booming voice. ‘My role is not to question the will of the beings outside the dome..’ Kenny replied cunningly; ‘Mine is only to serve.’ The giant red scorpion flushed its face and furrowed its brow in gesticulation; ‘That is a good answer, puny mortal. But I know that your species is incapable of acts that aren’t driven by the most base desires of personal gratification. You follow commands because you wish some of the glory of the coming age to be bestowed upon yourself. Confess it!’ ‘If I am to be gifted any fortune by supporting the armies of the winning side, should there be any discomfort in it?’ Kenny retorted, ‘All that matters is the end goal. Victory for the beings outside the dome!’ The scorpion glowed with wicked pride; ‘Yes! It is true. For the watcher is at hand, and the sacrifices are being made, piece by piece. The vultures move into place, and the shapeshifter reigns in the land of the setting sun. The dead armies shall hold back the forces of Tennylind and a new dark age shall Dawn’... I watched with fascination as my hallucinations played themself out. With intrigue I followed Kenny’s monologue as he spoke about his dark motives. I knew they were not real, just the product of my delirious brain trying to draw loose ends together.
Nonetheless, in my imagination Kenny Lothar began to explain to the horrific scorpion demon his back story in this hideous plot. He spoke of the corrupt police forces in NSW, and how they had gone underground during the Royal Commissions of the 1990’s. He spoke of secret meeting places in Bishop’s Valley, Bathurst, Canberra and Ballarat. Organisations united in a common purpose, to protect the agenda of corrupt white men; the Freemasons, the Druids guild, The order of the Red Seal, The Knights of the Roman Grid, The Future guard. He spoke of gangland killings, and shuffled ranks in the Victorian Police. In my dream, Kenny was not acting alone; but conducting his nefarious rituals for wealthy underground cults.
I knew the dream was becoming too absurd now, and like my mind was rejecting outright the state of being, I felt my ethereal self begin to drift and return to Kenny’s hotel room where I lay unconscious.
Strangely, however, my awareness of that perpendicular plane of existence didn’t utterly fade. I watched with my mind’s eye, as Kenny slowly ascended a labyrinth of marble staircases, until at last it appeared as if I was watching —as Kenny exited the elevator of the hotel. He seemed to walk in a tangent universe just beside my own, walking alongside his hotel room. I was now floating above my own body, which lay unconscious on the hotel floor, as Kenny entered through the vortex of colour.
But something was magnificently wrong. Surely, I thought, I was still hallucinating. Yet, why did the room look so enchantingly similar and yet different? As I floated above as an ethereal mist, I noticed that all the ritualistic paraphernalia lay in the adjacent room exactly as it had —- with only one minor difference....
The decapitated hand was no longer placed ceremoniously on the parchment in the middle of the checkered floor. Nor were the strange three symbols painted in blood in various locations in the room where my body lay unconscious. With infinite terror, my mind started to leap to horrorible conclusions. Kenny was rubbing his skin, as if coated in a thin layer of goo. He appeared to be adjusting to his transition back into this reality. How absurd this dream was becoming, I thought to myself.
With malice, Kenny now begun to pace around the dark room, as if checking the artefacts for his ritual. He then raced to his desk, checking over his notes, and reading furiously. I tried to move my body, or wake from slumber, but I remained trapped in that elusive immaterial dream space.
I continued to watch paralysed. Kenny now turned in his chair with terrible and malevolent purpose. Returning quickly to the other room, he appeared to see something. I watched with horror now, as he came back into the main room holding the decorated Axe from the ritual. I began to curse under my breath with fear, as Kenny methodically approached my unconscious body. He had the most sadistic look of glee in his eyes, and malice on his lips, as he grinned with yellowing teeth.
With one sharp movement, Kenny raised the heavy axe above his head, then with a movement as swift as light, the heavy metal carved through the flesh and bone of my left hand. Although still detached from my body, I somehow still felt a piercing pain in my wrist, that ached like swollen agony, and throbbed with pain, yet I had no mouth to scream.
Satanically satisfied, Kenny squatted next to my decapitated hand, extending two fingers and dipping them into my freshly drawn blood. Time seemed to flash forward, or backwards as Kenny timelapsed around the room, creating the strange symbols on the walls and floor which I had investigated. Then returning the bloody Axe to the pillar it was resting against, and moving my gored and grotesque severed hand into place on the parchment on the middle of the checkered floor. Somehow this all made some terrible sense in my dreaming mind, that I had perhaps become a part of Kenny’s terrible ritual.
That was then. This all stands now, only as some sort of curious dream. The severing of my hand, I can speak about with certainty. For when I awoke in a hospital bed, my left arm was nothing more than a stump. Mercifully the doctors stopped the blood loss, and probably saved my life, though how I got from Kenny’s hotel room to there, I’ll never know.
It’s been a significant period of recovering, and for now, the investigation of Kenny Lothar is on hold. Right now I am too fearful for my well being to continue.
However, I feel this will not be the last time I have a run in with that dangerous and reprehensible character.
(This is the second story surrounding Private Investigator P.Dronefire. You can read the first story 'The Cockroaches Between the Clues' at 'The Weird Fiction of Goitye Powerhouse)
https://weirdfictionofgoityepowerhouse.wordpress.com/2017/12/11/the-cockroaches-between-the-clues/
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Zeitgeist: creepy cabaret inspired by media reports

Imagine a chance encounter between playwright Bertold Brecht and legendary musician Tom Waits.
Just Improvise is using this notion as inspiration for its latest show Zeitgeist, an intimate evening of creepy cabaret using real newspaper headlines as the catalyst for each performance.
Audience members cut out the headlines before the show and the stories are re-imagined by the cast.
Directed by improv veteran Glenn Hall at the Mount Lawley Bowling Club, Zeitgeist was previously workshopped and performed as part of the 2012 Impro Melbourne Classic.
“After Impro Melbourne and then seeing the Three Penny Opera during the Perth Festival I was convinced an improvised, Brecht-inspired cabaret should be my next show,” he said.
“Having been a fan of Tom Waits for years, I pondered the idea of what might have been should Brecht and Waits have worked together.
“The show is inspired by that imaginary encounter, drawing on news stories of our current time.
“We’ve got an incredible cast, many of whom also play instruments, and an inspirational musical director in Tristen Parr.”
Zeitgeist follows on from Just Improvise’s unscripted success of In A New York Minute and The Locker Room, both performed around Australia after their initial Perth seasons.
Under the creative direction of Glenn Hall (also a WA Academy of Performing Arts improvisation lecturer), Just Improvise has been producing live unscripted theatre to popular and critical acclaim since 2000.
It is regarded as one of Australia’s leading improvisation entertainment companies, also in demand for its business and personal development improv training.
Following the June performances, Zeitgeist will be a major feature on the opening weekend of Improvention 2013 in Canberra – the largest improvisation festival in the southern hemisphere.
Improvention 2013 Director Nick Byrne said organisers had wanted something special for the festival shows being held at Casino Canberra in July.
“As usual, Glenn Hall is delivering with the cutting-edge approach to unscripted theatre that puts him at the forefront of directors in the spontaneous genre,” he said.
“When we need impact, innovation and killer entertainment in one sitting, we know anything from Just Improvise is likely to fit the bill but, with Zeitgeist, they've outdone themselves.”
Zeitgeist plays at 7.30pm, June 21, 22 and 23 – tickets are $30, $25 concession and include a shared nibble plate (transaction fees apply).
Book through TAZTix on 9255 3336 or at www.TAZTix.com.au. Please note: the show has adult themes and language.
The Mount Lawley Bowling Club is on the corner Storthes and Rookwood Streets, Mount Lawley
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[Table] I am a teacher in a low socio-economic, rural/isolated Australian High school AMA

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Date: 2012-11-09
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What is the craziest/funniest story you have about your students? Wow lots to answer! I'll start with... 2.you really need to be aware of cultural and religious differences in the classroom. It is sometimes really difficult when you realize something you assume is "general knowledge" is way outside their experience - teaching myths and legends for example: they know the story of the rainbow serpent and aboriginal dreaming, or how the gods gave fire to the Tongan man, but they might have no clue who the three little pigs are. Oh the other hand, because we have a 40% pacific islander population, they are really free and open with creativity, music and dance in particular. The most popular performance in the entire year has been the Cook Island girls doing traditional dance!
Do you take into account the multiculturalism of your class when designing your lesson plan? I decided to go into teaching for several reasons - firstly because I believe kids need someone who is passionate and wanted to help them to succeed. It didn't hurt that my mum teaches too, so I knew what I was getting into! I also was lucky and got a scholarship to cover my entire university costs if I agreed to work in a "difficulty staffing area" for 3 years minimum. I was a "targeted graduate".
How does such a diverse student population affect the learning climate? Honestly, though, I really feel that there is no such thing as a "bad" kid. Crazy, yes, but not evil. Even the worst one has some good in them. I did work experience in juvenile justice system and thought that most of these kids come from such horrific experiences, how could they get out of the pattern without people working to preventing them falling further down the same path?
What made you decide to get into teaching? As for crazy, do you mean funny, weird, confrontational, violent, insane...? Because I have a few, both from personal experience and stories from others...
That's awesome! Sounds like a very exciting place to live. I really love it. We have Tongan, Cook Islander, Samoan, P&G, phillipines, Turkish, afghanis, Sudanese, Indian, Fijian, Italian, Anglo, aboriginal, Chinese, among others, but there is ever any racial divides!
Have you ever seen the movie Fortress? Don't they have a song about the piggies? Never seen it, sorry!
Are there any Jonah Takaluas? I don't think so. Ive never heard of Jonah Takaluas.
How about one weird, one funny, and one violent? Alright!
Weird: I had a boy aged about 14 who had mental health problems. He barricaded himself into the middle of the classroom during class using chairs and stayed in there for an hour, pretending to be a cat. He also refused to take the DET funded laptop because the government could track his thoughts.
Funny- an aboriginal girl in yr 7, let's call her Teraha (not her name, hers is weirder) stole a whole bundle of white foundation makeup from drama and smeared it all over herself. Went around screeching "Look Miss! Now I'm a white fella like you!" at every class. She kept going until a boy started calling her Michael Jackson and she punched him in the face. I thought it was clever, she got a long suspension...
Where abouts? How do you manage to manage a class of 500? The whole school population is roughly 500, with a teaching staff of 53. The largest individual class I teach is 29 students, but I am also a year adviser for yr 8, which is 84 students aged about 12 to 13 years old.
Oh ok, whereabouts is your school? We are a small area so I won't give you the exact name or region, but it is roughly 8 hours inland from sydney, and is rural, not urban development.
Is it Parkes...I bet it's Parkes. I only know two things about parkes: it's where the dish is and that the poet Peter skryznecki lived there in a migrant hostel as a kid. Not parkes.
Dubbo. Not dubbo. Oh thank god, it is not dubbo.
Having just finished my HSC and the Advanced English course, I was really hoping I'd never have to see, hear or read Skrzynecki (pronounced Sheh-Nes-key just to stuff with us) ever again. Not that his work is inherently bad or anything, just that I'm so very, very tired of HSC English. I know him personally. A nice man, but very forward!
I lived in Australia for a year (I'm from Canada) and found the racism to be overt compared to Canada (we are still racist but keep it mostly hidden). Is that your experience? Also can you post some scenery photos - I miss there. I think the overt racism is cultural, we are a blunt people! I'd love to post some, but I'm using an iPad without any home pics. Anyone else got some?
Do you receive any extra pay compare to teachers in cities like Sydney? How is a teacher's salary set in Australia? Is it payed by the federal government, regional authority or the municipality? In some areas, you get paid extra or receive subsides for housing etc. unfortunately, where I am does not qualify for these! It is too bad, a friend of mine in the far west pays less than $50 rent on her house and gets an extra week off because of the temperature and geographic isolation... As for who pays me, I am in public education system, so am technically a governmental employee! I am employed by the NSW (State) Department of Education and Community Services. If I was private sector, it would be a different story. Wages are decent, and they increase over time. I started as a 4 year trained graduate (I have 2 bachelor degrees, not a BA and a diploma) and the starting salary was about $54,000. Currently, I'm sitting on about $64,000 annually.
This is the pay agreement if you'd like to look, but it is currently being renegotiated with the union. Link to www.det.nsw.edu.au
How do you feel about the divide on "my child is bad, therefore - I must parent" vs. "my child is bad, therefore - it is the teachers fault that my child misbehaves, as it's not my job to teach them morals, values and ethics" ? I straddle the line. Yes, I as a teacher must teach and model appropriate behaviour and ethics, but we cannot do it alone. We see them 6 hours out of 24. What they get outside of school makes a far longer lasting impression and while I do my best to show your child what they should be doing, home is far more effective as they model from what is shown to them as appropriate!
In the case of the drop-outs and gang members: Do you think that these kids truly wanted to learn? As in, did they really want to succeed, but just gave in to gang pressures or lack of academic success? It comes back to the difference between a learning difficulty and a learning impairment. Many kids honestly want to learn and please you, but are so anxious -as in psychologically/clinically phobic - that they will do anything, including acting out violently, to escape the situation. I have had kids in tears because they are so scared of reading a sentence they are literally crippled by it.
My girlfriend and I are moving over to Australia from Scotland in a little over a month, and she is a Home Economics teacher and will be looking for a job in that field before long. Do smaller, regional schools offer such programs? What would you say the main difficulties associated with regional living are? A good question. Yes, we teach Food Technology, Textiles, Design &Technology... Basically, if it comes under the TAS description, it gets taught. See, the junior school (aged 11-16) in the public system get taught a basic taster course of most subjects and then elect their subjects in their final senior years. Your best bet is to sign up with the Department of Education and get a casual teaching number so she can get a feel for our system before applying for a temporary block or a permanent position.
Main difficulties? Distance and isolation are the big ones. You are a long way from anywhere and it takes ages to get places. This means that access to opportunities and resources are limited to what is available locally. There is sometimes a very insular community who have trouble going outside of their town- I teach 18 year olds who have never been more than a two hour drive from home, never been on a plane or been to a capital city, who have no desire to ever do so.
Because Canberra is so nice? Canberra is lovely, but so artificial!
30 different nationalities. Why? What is in your town/city? Casino? Mines? We have a large itinerant population, lots of unskilled labour positions. This includes fruit and farming mainly. Also lots of refugees flooded into the areas for a better life, more opportunities in regional areas than in the cities.
Dingos ever eat any of your kids? Just kidding, but what creepy or dangerous insects or snakes do you have to be aware of by your school? Do termites count? Joking. No, we have redback, whitetail and funnelweb spiders on premises, personally, I'd take the redback over whitetails, ( a whitetail is tiny and it's bite causes necrosis) brown snakes, tiger snakes, red bellied black snakes... Worst thing is when someone finds a baby brown snake. They're small, fast and venomous, but brown snakes never lay just one egg, so even if you catch it there is probably 4-8 other little brown evil snakes hiding under the building somewhere...
Yikes. Beautiful country..lots of nasty things. Yeah, but they are usually more scared of you or are highly visible if you know what to look for. Whitetails are awful because they love to get into bedrooms and bedding in your sleep. If you miss the bite, it can be pretty nasty, google whitetail spider bite if you need some more reasons to avoid Australia!
How do the less privileged children that you teach deal with being upside down? Well, from our perspective, it would seem that you must struggle with being upside down. For us, upside down is rightside up!
Ah. So they deal with it quite well then. Thank you for answering my question. It was either that or invest in magnetized boots. And you are welcome.
an awesome gravity machine. but low socio-economic areas can not generally afford such machines. Sadly true. We rely on thumbtacks and staples mostly, and tie ourselves down with double sided tape if we are feeling extravagant!
Please tell me you staple the children's bodies and not the clothes. Clothes tend to get expensive. Question B! How do you deal fight of dingos trying to steal the children, as well as the 9000 other creatures there trying to kill them? Easy, packs of dingoes are easily warded off when you release the crocodiles with mouths full of deadly snakes.
Man, I does this make me want to visit your great land. Hey, ask nice and I might even regale you with tales of childhood horrors! In the meantime, www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I if you're still keen on Australia after that, look me up!
What's the attendance rate on an average day like? Well, that depends. We have a lot of "partial attendance" where students truant a lesson or two, go down the street or hang out in the school grounds, but are technically at school. The majority of our kids have decent attendance, but the 15-16 year olds are bucking the curve- every class except year 10, I might be missing one or two, but today, my year 10 class of potentially 20+ students was actually a class of 7. (It was period one, some turned up later in the day). But every school has some problems. It becomes a major concern if a student's attendance rate drips below 85%. As a year advisor, I have to contact home and enquire about this before it gets sent on to the welfare team, but when you get someone who has been in school for roughly one week in ten altogether, then it gets passed on to the department of community services and the home-school liaison officer steps up.
Are you also sick of your students not tying up their kangaroos after arriving at school? I for one am sick of finding kangaroo shit in my staff room. Yeah, it was really frustrating, but now we keep them on the back oval until the kids have to ride them home again. Once they fight off the swarms of deadly snakes and have a friendly boxing match or two, the Roos usually settle pretty quiet until we send off our boomerangs to get the latest beer advertising. that stirs them up like a bucket of prawns on a hot day!
As a rural school do you feel your students are disadvantaged in anyway in regards to funding, resources, teachers etc? I go to a school near Penrith which is not anywhere close to rural but I felt that my school either had terrible funds management or was less well off as schools closer to the city. Also if you don't mind me asking, whats the average ATAR score of your school? This is hard to answer because my school is currently receiving special grants from the government to boost our funding. At the moment, we have two more teaching positions and an extra deputy that our number of students wouldn't usually support. When this runs out at the end of the year, we will be having some serious restructuring, losing a deputy, several members of the support/office staff (including groundskeeper) and between 2-4 teaching staff. This means the load for teachers will go up and our classes will increase in size. A big problem for us is our parents and families, being low-socioeconomic groups, cannot often afford uniforms, shoes, workbooks or other equipment, or school fees. We as a school subsidize a lot for our kids, and I personally keep a supply of books and equipment in my classroom that comes out of my own money. Many students arrive in inappropriate clothing, without a bag, food, solid shoes, books or a pen, and we have to do what we can for them. We are better off than some, but compared to those "best" Sydney schools? Not a competition.
This is hard to answer because my school is currently receiving special grants from the government to boost our funding. At the moment, we have two more teaching positions and an extra deputy that our number of students wouldn't usually support. When this runs out at the end of the year, we will be having some serious restructuring, losing a deputy, several members of the support/office staff (including groundskeeper) and between 2-4 teaching staff. This means the load for teachers will go up and our classes will increase in size. A big problem for us is our parents and families, being low-socioeconomic groups, cannot often afford uniforms, shoes, workbooks or other equipment, or school fees. We as a school subsidize a lot for our kids, and I personally keep a supply of books and equipment in my classroom that comes out of my own money. Many students arrive in inappropriate clothing, without a bag, food, solid shoes, books or a pen, and we have to do what we can for them. We are better off than some, but compared to those "best" Sydney schools? Not a competition. As for our results, I honestly cannot remember the average ATAR from last year. I do know that in the NAPLAN testing, we are below state averages in literacy and comprehension, but we do more "value adding" than state average - meaning our students make more significant improvement in their result between yr 7 and yr 9 than is the state average, but they are starting at a lower point so are still not meeting the goal.
Wow thanks for the replies :) Honestly from how I perceive it, teaching deserves much more appreciation than it gets at the moment. I'm really glad your students got such a fantastic teacher like you and speaking from experience, is very hard to come by. Also, HSC english is poopy. Ooooh yeah. HSC is the delight of everyone. I say this as an English teacher, HSC English, in my humble opinion, should not be mandatory. Scaled up to reward people who take it, yes. Like the maths syllabus. But mandatory, for everyone? It just makes you hate us and it.
FINALLY A TEACHER WHO (openly) AGREES! Compulsory HSC English left me so bitter and jaded after what would otherwise have been a very enjoyable final year of high school. Three years later and I can still feel the hatred welling up inside as I read those words. It sounds like your teacher did not do the course justice. Mild disdain is expected, but welling hatred is ... Not a good sign.
One of my closest friend's parents are both rural school principals in NSW, one Primary over ~40 students, one highschool over a larger school. Out of interest, did you choose to work in the bush, or were you posted during teacher training? What was the biggest "culture-shock" moment for you when you started working out past woop-woop? Did you train in one of the capitals? I chose to be rural because I felt I could do more good here. But not a culture shock. I grew up in a tiny, semi-arid, "rural-and-isolated" dairy farming town in the riverina and went to a rural university, (wagga), which meant I had more trouble adjusting to seeing hills than to the lifestyle!
I can see how that would be awesome! But by God, you're amazing for dealing with all that stuff, every single day. Amazing. I was a teacher too, so I know you don't get told that enough. ANd here's the government, come to yank your funding. And how about some more paper work for the Institute? Does it get lonely out there? I've been West, but only on business. It does get lonely, particularly as I'm not married. Meeting new people out here is hard, especially once you weed out the ex students!
That's gotta be tough. I know convincing a fella who 1. will move out there and 2. understands your passion is a tall order, because I went through something similar while living not too far from the city. Is the job good enough to keep you there long term? I have trouble because most people don't like to try long distance relationships. My job is a permanent position which is important. This means that I can be guaranteed a job from now until I retire, even if my school numbers drop and they don't need me, the government is obliged to find me another position in the state. This is called a "forced transfer" because I am technically a government employee, not employed by my specific school.
Do your students experience racism because they live in a mostly white country? It is not as big a problem here as it is in some places where I have taught. Because we are very culturally dirvese, students are fairly tolerant of each other. They are more likely to be offensive to people of the same racial background than others! We do get some racism out in the community -one man I know refers to it as "the black school" and we have had visiting schools afraid to enter our school because of fears that they might get "bashed" by the aboriginal or islander students. When they do come in, they are usually pleasantly surprised that we don't react to newcomers with violence!
I taught out your way not all that long ago. I know you didn't say where but we both know there aren't many schools that far out with 500+ students! Nonetheless, our schools could still have been hundreds of kms apart anyway. It's a ridiculously big state. I just wanted to send this your way... Hands down, the best kids I ever taught came from that little town out west. I still keep in contact with many of them. They astound me with their growing lives and I genuinely miss them. It was tough out there, I saw things that Australians should be devastated by - kids living in 'buildings' that didn't have doors (you lift one of the walls out), sleeping in caravans with torn off roofing, travelling for an hour along dirt roads just to get to school - and yet those same kids rarely bitched and moaned like their city counterparts. I also received my best training out west - training which made me the teacher I am today. I'd like to think I'm the teacher reddit wishes it had! Or at least the one I wished I had! Enjoy your time out there - the good and the bad! How far away is the nearest movie theatre? It was 4ish hours for me. I am lucky that way, we are only a couple of hours from a regional hub, with a cinema no less! I can get to see a movie in a little under an hour drive there and another back. It is hard, I think, for people who don't live out this way to truly understand what the distance is like. How many people out there can drive for several hours without seeing any sign of human society other than the road or occasional power lines?
Fellow registered teacher here. I've never taught in Australia though aside from my teacher training. What's the best way to go about getting your foot in the door into teaching? Is it generally accepted that you need to go out west and teach in a country school? Is it possible to get into some schools in the major cities in more permanent positions? The staffing system is changing, but if you want to build experience, then going west helps. You can also work casually in a school and hope a position you are suited to opens up. Permanency is a major goal and it can take years of working temporary blocks of 6 months or a year to find a school wwhich can offer it. It's about being visible and writing applications well.
What do you think life would be like in that community, for a gay student? It is difficult. Very difficult. admittedly, it is easier on the few we have here than other places I have been, we even have a few transgender students who are fairly accepted and moderately popular. Some of this is the acceptance in some pacific islander cultures, such as Tongan. From my school, the policy seems to be if you don't broadcast, they will not judge.
It has been about 2 years since I finished my teacher training. I've been teaching English In Japan since then. I don't think that experience is going to help me too much when it comes to looking for a job when I get home. Is there one particular skill or thing in demand outside teaching experience that I could develop to help me get a job? Schools like people who bring more than their job description - if you have any specialities that could help, for example, I run a lot of extra curriculars for our school including the public speaking competitions. Think about what skills or willingness you have and how these could help the community.
With limited funds, do you believe you are still able to teach the fundamentals well enough to be considered successful? I believe we do a pretty damn good job. All evidence we collect with statewide and national testing shows we are value adding to educational standard at above average for the lower ability students and we consistently get some of the best results for seniors in the region. We struggle to extend the mid range ability students as much as other schools may, but this is a situation where good teaching practise is more important than anything else we have to work with.
I am also studying teaching (high school - English and history major) and am also Australian. I was wondering, how is it teaching in a rural area? I have some friends who found the adaption hard due to suburban life. Adjusting to rural life can be hard, I have friends who grew up in cities who find it grating, too quiet, dull and too far away from friends and family. But they tend to appreciate things I forget, like being able to walk out late at night and see the entire sky filled with stars and complete silence.
When I visited my friend 6 hours south from Sydney, the night sky was the beauty of it all... I still have a year to go thankfully, so when the time comes, ill hopefully be able to decide. Also is the pay better for rural? I've heard it is. You get the same pay no matter where you are. But the further west you go, the better you concessions are. They need teachers and are happ to make offers to get them!
Are the Polynesian boys really the best break dancers in the whole suburb? PS - "Awww, Miss, you farted!" Mainly the Polynesian, but the aboriginal and aboriginal/islander boys are pretty darn talented too!
How does your access to resources compare to that of a rural school in a place like, say Southwestern Virginia? I have no idea, the only place I have been outside of Australia is China, which is very very different to australia educationally! We have access to the net, obviously, we have a decent amount of tech such as computers and smartboards in school rooms, and thanks to the dept of education, all students in years 9-12 have a school mini laptop. But we are a big, empty country, meaning it takes hours to get anywhere. Teachers struggle to get approval for professional development because it takes at least a 3 days worth of casual coverage - a days travel up, a day at the course and a days travel back...we just can not afford that.
Ay miss, is Jonah truly the sickest break dancer in school or are there new breakers out there we need to know about? My boys are amazing. They have real talent. You watch out!
What do you listen to when you want to " jam the fuck out"? Genre, artists? I love my old school classics, rolling stones especially, but i also have Pink, Marlyin Manson, Ramstien, Elvis, jazz, broadway musicals and 90s pop in the mix. When working with kids, teenybopper stuff tends to bleed into your consciousness. I unfortunately am now fluent in teenage girl and can discuss One Direction or the like almost painlessly!
I'm gonna say Griffith or Riverina area? Sounds like it. Not Griffith. Further west.
Yes hi madam international drainage commission here; which way does the water in your toilet run? If you want me to go check my neighbours, you could end up with an insanely high phone bill that causes an international incident.
How often you get called 'fucking white cunt'? A good friend of mine is a teacher and needs it to start her day, as well as strong black coffee. I think that the best one I've ever been called is a "fucking white racist pig" by a parent. I don't think she saw any irony in calling me that.
Any moments where your work felt really fulfilling? I remember being in my first year out teaching, working with a really low ability group, studying a poetry unit. We were 3 weeks in and they were really struggling with it. One day, I was working with a girl and you could see it just click - it was as if a switch had literally been flipped in her head and she looked at me with absolute wonder in her eyes - she said "Miss! There's so much more to poetry than just words, isn't there?! "
They are rare but worth it!
Do dingos eat babies? Actually, yes. Dingoes are untrustworthy feral animals, and have been known to maul small children or attack tourists. As for the Azaria Chamberlain story, I think the baby died, but I still don't know how the "dingo" got into a tent without causing any damage or disturbance...
Does "rise up lights" still sound like "razor blades" when an Australian says it? No. Rys up lihts, versus rayzuh blahdez.
What is the gifted/talented programming like at your school (if any)? I know that multicultural schools, particularly rural ones have a very hard time developing and implementing programs for the gifted, but Australia has broken a lot of ground with that research. You said somewhere that PD is hard to come by, since you're so far away from everything, but are there resources available at your school (like a gifted resource teacher)? We run gifted and talented programs in art and music, we also have dance students participate in school spectacular, but video conference training sessions. Our drama students just finished a joint drama production with our sister school in the western suburbs, where they used video chat, fb and internet to bond and build an entirely original play based on joint experiences as Australian youth.We also run a Targeted Sports program to identify those talented at athletics and sport, who get extra training and experience. It is working really well with the junior boys.
What does your AEO do? The official description appears to have been written by a committee, can you please explain using more concrete examples? An AEO is employed at schools that have a significant number of indigenous students.Basically, they work in the school to get indigenous student the best possible educational opportunities and work within the indigenous community to promote the school and education.our AEO works with individuals who are recognised "at risk", helps create multicultural programs and resources, liaises with community members and aboriginal elders, and generally seeks out opportunities for our indigenous youth while being a visible, successful role model for the students.
Do you have Bogans? I keep seeing videos with them. They seem to be a combo of rednecks and pikers... Trust me, everywhere has bogans. They are often racist, slow thinkers and lovers of real "ocker" cultural touchstones, such as utes with thousands of aerials, spotlights and a roo bar, B&S balls and bundy rum.
Do you actually work with Torres Strait Islanders? Some yes, but the majority of indigenous students here are aboriginal.
I can't help but think of tommorrow when the war began. Have you ever read it to any students? Do any of your students resemble any of the characters? I teach that book to my kids, in year 9. they love it, but don't really resemble the characters. Twtwb is a very blue mountains, mainly white population, farming town setting. Some of the landscape rings true but the people are not much like mine!
I don't know if you're still answering, but I'll ask. I live in a low socio-economic urban area in WA, where we have MAJOR problems with Aboriginal children being actively discouraged from attempting to study and improve their lot in life by parents who would rather they live off benefits. Many either feel that they are owed by the white man, or that there is no chance so why bother.. generally a mix of the two. Is this a problem in rural areas? We don't have students being actively discouraged, but our parents often don't place much value on education, and often our kids have to work to help support the family. When you are working for 6-8 hours and not getting much sleep, school is not that important.
Are sports teams a big part of your school? Does it have a rugby/aussie rules team? Sport is life in our school. If there is a competition out there, we have a team - we even have lawn bowls team!
Is the area anything like the movie "The Snowtown Murders"? No, that was mountains and in a different state, I think.
Have you seen Wake in Fright? Why do people keep asking me that?
Last updated: 2012-11-14 03:06 UTC
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Casino Canberra - YouTube

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