Is gambling a sin? What does the Bible say about gambling ...

Discovering and embracing Satanism is an easier task for some than for others. I just wanted to share a little of my experience for anyone coming from a strict Christian upbringing or even a Christian cult. It's rare that someone is able to escape the clutches of a cult unscathed and then go on to thrive. It's not something that happens overnight and it can involve undoing a lot of ingrained beliefs, going through an identity crisis, losing family or friends, and changing your entire perception of yourself and life. Going through it, I wasn't sure I was going to ever get out. But now, I can really stand back and be amazed at how resilient we can be.
In the 80s, my midwestern parents found themselves in a self-destructive lifestyle, and after attending a church-hosted and horrific dramatization of people being dragged off to hell, they turned to Christianity as the magic cure for their unhappiness in life. When I was born, they were still brand-new born-agains struggling with substance abuse and addiction, but they went all in. And I mean ALL in. They ghosted all their friends, cut ties with every member of my extended family, and made a new family of believers. We were Pentecostal - the 700 club-watching, faith-healing, tongues-speaking, Proctor and Gamble-boycotting variety. If you've ever seen Jesus Camp that was basically my life. I don't remember a lot from those early years, but I've heard stories and have seen family photos to know that I don't want to remember.
As my sister and I got older, they attempted to shelter us from the horrors of the sin-ridden secular world. We were homeschooled with an all-Christian, church-approved curriculum taught by my mother (who had an 8th grade education) while my dad was at work. My textbooks contained and presented as fact the typical hoaxes and flawed analogies that form the basis for Christian science-denial, and I didn’t know any different. We lived in the Bible belt on a small farm, and everyone I knew was at least some form of Christian. There weren't enough non-believers to convert, so we spent most of our time trying to convert the Catholics and Baptists to "real" Christianity. My mom always said Pentecostals came first, Catholics and Baptists came along after and bastardized Christianity. Most of my "classes" were based in homemaking or farm work, and went along nicely with our weekly Wednesday night girl's program, The Missionettes. It was basically girl scouts but focused on Bible memorization and turning us into good Christian wives. We had badges like sewing, knitting, cooking, grooming, ettiquette, abstinence, and first aid. Of course we also had religious badges for communion, prayer, healing, fruits of the spirit, and the armor of god etc. A very well-rounded education.
While my parents went to church and we put on the face like we were living the blessed life, things at home weren't great. The hardest thing growing up was hearing all the adults at church go on and on about how great my parents were and how lucky I was to have such good Christian parents. One day, I remember my dad pulling me aside to tell me there was something wrong with my mom, that I should never make her angry because he wouldn't be able to choose between us. When I was 5, my mom threw a pair of scissors at my dad. They got embedded in his leg and he had to go to the emergency room. When I was around 6, my mom began to threaten my dad in front of us, saying by the time he got home from work, we would be gone. That my sister and I needed to pick who we wanted to live with because by the end of the day, we needed to be packed and ready to leave. My mom was a big fan of belts and the wooden spoon, and she never spared the rod. I have had many objects broken on me. When she would make us bend over, I would try to look back and apologize, to ask what I had done wrong, or what i could do to fix it, but anything other than complete eyes-foward submission was viewed as rebellion and only added to the count. She told me once in a joking manner that when I was in trouble, all I would say was "I want to hold you" to try to get out of punishment. She laughed. When I was 7, my mom told us that Satan told her to kill us with a potato peeler, and that she was going to kill us, my dad, and then herself. But “luckily” god "saved" us! After that, I remember my sister and I used to hide in our closet and pray to god to turn us into farm animals. Horses, dogs, chickens, anything, so we could run away and be free. We didn't even want to be human anymore. By the time I was 12, suicidal ideation set in and never really let go. Satan didn't scare me anymore. My mom did. Hell was real and I was living in it.
When I was 13, my mom found a pencil in a parking lot from a local high school and determined that it was a sign from god that we should be enrolled in public school. I was terrified. These people weren't anything like me, they were all lost sinners and it was my job to be the shining light in the midst of darkness, to teach them the way. However, it turned out, I was the one who did most of the learning. I was exposed to more math and science in high school than I had been in my entire life. I learned about other cultures and history. I actually made some friends and got to see how other people live for the first time in my life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, at that high school even touched the evil I experienced at home. There were days I didn’t want to go home. I never missed a day of school if I could help it.
The things I had believed started to not make sense in my mind anymore. It took several years for me to put all the pieces together, but the final straw was actually reading the Bible entirely from cover to cover for the first time, rather than just the “reading plan” i was given. I learned when the gospels were actually written, who possibly wrote them and why. I started reading about as many different religions as I could and started realizing the similarties of them all. I had a good friend at the time who wasn't afraid to challenge every religious and political position I had, and realized that I didn't even know why I believed what I did, only that I was told to believe it and always had. I began to reexamine everything I believed, no matter how trivial or obvious. It became clear to me that more than anything, I just wanted more out of life than I was given.
Originally, I wasn't going to go to college. We didn't have enough money, no one in my family had ever gone to college, and my parents had just assumed that I'd end up being a pastor's wife who played the piano for church services. But on the advice of an advisor, I applied to and auditioned for a music program, and I got in. I was finally getting out. But not before my mom could have the final word. When my parents found out I had been talking to a boy at school and that I liked him, she called me "the whore" for a month. One day, I had the flu and missed school for a few days. My boyfriend asked if he could bring over a can of soup and the homework I had missed. My parents agreed, and when he came in, he sat on the end of my bed (the door was wide open and I was under a ton of blankets) to ask how I was doing. My mom walked by and screeched at the top of her lungs that he needed to get the fuck out of my room and out of her house. That we weren't allowed to be in the same room without supervision. I had basically learned that sticking up for myself was useless, but I would stick up for him. He hadn't done anything wrong. I got out of bed and got up into her face and called her a psychotic bitch. She demanded that my dad throw me out. I looked at him and he looked at me and I will never forget what he said. "I told you not to make her angry because I can't choose between you. This is her house. You have to leave."
So I left. I slept in my car that night and eventually stayed with my boyfriend's family until my aunt (who my parent's ghosted) heard what happened. She took me in for several months until I could make enough money working a few part-time jobs to afford a small apartment. I completely left the church after that. I did visit a few others and even worked as a choir director at a non-denomination church for a while as a side gig, but it just wasn't the same. The veil had been lifted.
Out of the dozens of families who knew me, who watched me grow up and spent time with my family (some who even knew what was going on at home), none of them attempted to contact me. Out of all of my church friends, I am still in contact with only one, who left around the same time I did. When people say leaving a cult is like commiting social suicide, they aren't exaggerating. I was completely cut off.
If you asked my parents today, they would tell you that around 18, I gave into doubt and fell from grace. That the friends I made outside of church brainwashed me. That going to college was the nail in the coffin of my salvation. They'd tell you that by the time I turned 18, I was lost. But I was never lost. Not really. They’d never tell you that I always got in trouble for constantly questioning things. When I was eight, I wrote on the back of an offering envelope “If god created us, who created god?” and left it on a church pew for one of the elders to find (and subsequently got a beating for it). They’d never tell you that at ten, I got into an argument with the children’s pastor for saying men were superior to women because they were created first. They’d never tell you that as a Missionette, I got caught skipping sewing class to crash the Royal Rangers’ (all boys group) flag football games and outdoor events. And they’d certainly never tell you that I was eventually replaced as the president of a bible study group at school for focusing on the less-read and more appalling stories in the Bible, telling people that the gospels weren’t actually written by eye-witnesses, and encouraging people to actually read and think for themselves.
Discovering Satanism was actually one of the biggest steps in trauma recovery for me. To realize that all of my actions and behaviors were based in natural human needs and emotions that aren't at all sinful. That my learned helplessness was a direct result of my upbringing and I didn't need it anymore. That I had control of my life now. That I'm resilient and capable of going through a fire and coming out on the other end, and that I don't have to forgive anyone for anything. That the only person I can rely on is myself.
Here I am on the other side of it all, through many twists and turns. I'm the first of my family to graduate high school, go to college, or go to graduate school. I'm now a professional scientist working on Alzheimer disease research and a keyboardist in a working band. I'm active in my community both in local politics and through volunteer work. Things are far from perfect. I still struggle with old emotions, behaviors and thought patterns. It’s taken many rituals and even daily effort sometimes, but I've achieved a level of happiness and fulfillment in life I never thought possible.
——————
There is no heaven of glory bright, and no hell where sinners roast. Here and now is our day of torment! Here and now is our day of joy! Here and now is our opportunity! Choose ye this day, this hour, for no redeemer liveth! Say unto thine own heart, "I am my own redeemer." Stop the way of them that would persecute you. Let those who devise thine undoing be hurled back to confusion and infamy. Let them be as chaff before the cyclone and after they have fallen rejoice in thine own salvation. Then all thy bones shall say pridefully, "Who is like unto me? Have I not been too strong for mine adversaries? Have I not delivered MYSELF by mine own brain and body?"
The Book of Satan - Anton Szandor LaVey

so most Cristian people say that being gay is bad but there are a few things that oppose that assessment there is only one thing in the bible that have anything to do with gay people or that I could find is that there was a town of great sin and it was burned and there were people in that town that we're gay, but there were a lot of other things like gambling and sloth pulse wrath but going off-topic, is the only thing to my knowledge that has anything to do with gay people. but " God had looked at all that he had created and it was good" so even though there were people that were gay and other things it was still good not bad. not only that God is said to make every person so, why would he want his children to go to an eternity in hell and if it is all part of God's plan why would he make people suffer why would he do bad to us? and why is it bad to be gay?
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Edit: I didn't think this would be popular so thank you to everybody who commented I will try to read evry one of your comments.

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**** * ****
Hussein nudged his brother Iqbal and aimed his chin toward the bar. “Look, a fat, stupid American has finally managed some success.”
Iqbal smirked, “It is the only way the infidels can succeed. They have no education and no skills to do anything useful. They don’t even worship their own God anymore, only money and fame. They will soon learn better…”
The brothers were out enjoying a night of revelry, with a few more planned when they reached the city. The celebrations were a last reward before they fulfilled their mission and achieved True Paradise through martyrdom. Hussein was superstitious and hoped to find success at gambling before they took the great risk that if successful, would help to sustain their cause. They’d grown up in this land of debauchery and foolishness but had been taught from the first to honor their own Beliefs and culture above anything the Americans professed.
Hussein was on roll number five of what he intended to be a short run. He wished to win five times for the Five Pillars of Islam, the name of his cell in the latest great Jihad. He blew on the dice and tossed. The small cubes bounced against the back side of the pit and tumbled end over end as he watched breathlessly. “Another ten!” the barker called. And pushed the winnings toward Hussein. He placed a minimum bet and rolled once more. He had already left the table before the barker called, “Snakeyes! Next roller please.”
He held up his chips triumphantly, “Iqbal, more money from roll number five! I kept the bet in place for five rolls, I left only the minimum for the last roll, it is a Sign! We are fated to succeed. We will meet the others tomorrow, go over the plan, and then have a few last nights to revel in this world…”
Iqbal patted his brother on the shoulder, “There is something I would like more than winning chips. He nodded toward the bar and the attractive and sinuous young local who worked behind it, steadily polishing glasses.
Hussein watched for a moment, unsure whether his brother meant the alcoholic drinks that had been forbidden until now or the woman. Knowing Iqbal, he assumed both. “As you wish brother. Take your mortal enjoyments while you can. She looks a little sullen though, frown, lowered brows, I like the happy ones.”
Iqbal’s serpent-like smile widened, “She will look better when I have freed her from the miseries of the uncircumcised. She will enjoy a real man. Who knows? Maybe I will convert her so that we can meet again in Paradise.” With that, he surged away from his brother and slithered up to the bar opposite the young First Nations maid. “Good evening, I noticed that you do not have many customers at the bar. It seems odd that so beautiful a creature as yourself would not attract more company.”
The woman ignored him, intently focused on her task. He tried again, “Perhaps I must order a drink to remain at the bar? If so, a gin and tonic if you please.”
She continued to polish the glass. He leaned forward, “Did you hear me?” he inquired in an annoyed tone. “Perhaps you have no business because you are surly and unhelpful.”
She looked at him and delivered a smirk that appeared to be far more evil than anything he could ever hope to muster, despite his thin, reptilian lips and predatory mind, “We don’t want customers to linger at the bar, getting drunk and building from misery to anger over their losses. We want them playing… and losing.” She leaned toward him and glared into his own eyes that he normally considered flinty and daunting. “You know about losing, don’t you?”
Hussein noted that the large man at the end of the bar in the “Security” shirt had begun stumping toward them. “Iqbal, perhaps it is time to go look for other entertainment.”
Iqbal ignored him, he was trapped in the serpent’s gaze, like a mouse dropped into a snake’s tank to be devoured while its owner watched with perverse interest. Hussein reached for his brother to tug at his arm but never got the chance. The big security officer seized his hand, drew it to his too wide chest and turned. The weight of the man drew him away from his brother and caused him to spin around so that he ended up facing the goon with his brother beyond the man and in the clutches of the Serpent Woman. The ham-fisted gargantuan continued to twist the hand he gripped until the pressure caused Hussein sever pain. He grunted and bent into the angle of his wrist to relieve the distress. He found himself bent forward and looking up desperately toward the man’s face.
The security staffer smiled, his square, blunt teeth showing dark behind an almost lipless mouth. His wide back and chest, covered in body armor under his shirt made him appear like a monster-sized… Turtle. Hussein felt himself lifted and placed behind the bar. His brother soon slithered over the top and fell to the floor beside him, smiling beatifically. Hussein opened his mouth to scream for help, but a large, blunt fist crashed into the side of his head and he saw stars… seven of them, like the Holy... The fist descended once more, and he saw only darkness.
**** * ****
Fr. Danilo Bayani was immensely enjoying his latest trip to the continental USA. He had visited Hawaii many years ago, and New York City more recently, but this was his first tour of the grand landbound spaces that this country offered. He’d managed to roam so far from his origins in Manila. Now, in his twilight years, he longed to see what he could of God’s Green Earth. All on the payroll of The Vatican while they cleanse the records of those hateful… allegations. The bitter thoughts raced across his mind. Of course he was a sinner, he was only mortal. He’d been expiated of those sins and had paid an enormous price to continue serving in his capacity as a parish priest. He forced his mind to return to the moment and more enjoyable pursuits.
He noted the hirsute and similar appearing pair of men who had gone to the bar and wondered why the Security officer approached them, but his attention was called once more to the round of Texas Hold’em and his table mates. When he again had a moment to look, no one was at the bar, in front or behind… curious, he thought, but he quickly refocused his attention on the fascinating new game he was in the process of learning. He was familiar with Poker, so it wasn’t difficult to learn. He liked the high level of interaction that this version of the old game allowed. He’d done well, certainly gained enough to fund extracurricular activities during the rest of his current sabbatical.
He’d been disturbed by the overall atmosphere of this place when he’d arrived. He did not care for the numerous paintings and sculptures of Ancient Native Deities and Spirits. They seemed to be mostly images of the Dark Beings of various Tribal cultures. He loved to study diverse cultures, but this place was an amalgamation of cultures, built for mutual support by several Tribes in the region. Much of the artwork was schlocky and clearly intended to cater to the garish and sordid tastes of the vapid gambling set. Some part of him did not feel… welcome, as though he had intruded on some private Place, set aside for Other Gods.
He shook off the depressing musings… There are NO Other Gods, he reassured himself. He soon stepped away from the table to take care of personal needs and to decide what he should do with the rest of his night. Perhaps he would visit the White Dove Restaurant & Ballroom on the other side of the hotel lobby from the casino. It boasted a good reputation according to online reviews, even though it was a simple buffet style with a dance floor to one side. He liked the name, it was… peaceful he decided.
He soon had a selection of food piled onto a plate and was seated near the dance floor. The place was sparsely occupied, so his hopes of being able to watch dancers as he ate were dashed. Still, the food was good enough. A little bland, but that was necessary in a place that acted as a crossroads of cultures. There was a spice table at the end of the primary row of entrees. He’d helped himself, yet nothing seemed to attach to his taste buds. The combination of eating nearly alone, having no one with energy around him, and the tasteless food soon had him growing restless. He finished up his repast and left the table to go out to the final section of the complex he had not visited, the River Overlook.
As he passed the table nearest the entrance, he saw a stout man in a rumpled sport coat, who glared daggers at him, eyes focused on his crucifix, the only outward sign of his profession. The man appeared to be so hostile, that he paused for a moment to determine whether he’d done anything to offend the fellow. “Excuse me sir, have I offended you in some way?”
The man looked startled. He was apparently unused to being confronted about his demeanor or behavior. He scowled, “Don’t like that thing you have around your neck. You Catholics are all Hell-bound. No concept of righteousness. Not that you’d understand, you people don’t even read The Book. You listen to your priests and pope and disregard The Word. All the kneeling and ritual prayers in the world won’t save you in the end. Go back to your idols and beads and leave me alone to seek Heaven.”
Fr. Bayani was startled by the vehemence with which the man spoke. He hadn’t been attacked directly for his Faith in years. “Sir, I’m not sure what Religion you practice, but I am a man of God, a consecrated priest of the Holy Church. I assure you that I understand more than most, if not as much as I would like. I meant no harm and wish you a peaceful night.”
With that, he started to walk past the man, but the man rose from his table and pointed his finger, “Your pope is the Anti-Christ, and your Church is a place of Satan! Look to the Bible for your salvation before it’s too late.”
Fr. Bayani increased his pace and continued on his journey to the River Overlook. He would need the peace and tranquility that nature and the sound of flowing water would provide to settle his roiling mind.
**** * ****
Pastor Bill resumed his seat and shook his head, “Fool, doesn’t know that he’s risking his soul, courting Damnation.” He’d had a bad run at the tables over at the casino. His Denomination frowned on games of chance, but he had needed the money. One of his congregation had come up pregnant and they had to get it resolved before the three-month deadline for abortions. He knew that if his wife found out about Carmen, then she would divorce him. He was here to break every major rule that he professed to hold dear each week. His plan for quick money had failed, so he’d visited the bar. Now he hoped that eating would guide him back to sobriety. He had to think of another plan.
Seeing that… priest had annoyed him. Had he not been inebriated, he would never have said what he did, nor stared so rudely in the first place. Yet he wanted someone on whom to vent the anger he felt, that arose from fear and he’d always disliked the papists. If his wife divorced him, if the scandal involving the woman who cleaned the church all week and then occupied the back pew every Sunday ever broke; he would lose his ministry, his livelihood. His degree in Theology would be worthless. He might be able to get a job teaching, at some secular school, but most would not hire fervent Christians like himself.
He stared dejectedly at his plate of food that had contained more spice and flavors than he liked, a shadow passed in his periphery. It was low-slung and blurred just a bit as it loped along the wall. He thought he heard an odd laugh, somewhere between human and… canine? Maybe a little like a hyena might sound, or so he imagined. There was a manic quality to the laughter. A jest that was on him so that only the other Entity knew what it was. It was the wicked laughter of children at play, who’d decided to target a fat kid with glasses. A kid whose parents had been abusive addicts but who later “got right” through religious-based recovery programs. Their faith had led him to his own, but he’d never really lost those early traumas of being unaccepted by his peers and being beaten by people who later professed faith above all.
A mocking whine, definitely doggish, his now sobering consciousness informed him. Something was making fun of him, teasing him from the shadows. He looked around for staff members or other customers but found himself alone. The dining area and the dance floor were deserted. It was odd, there was almost always someone at the buffet service tables. He looked over to the kitchen doors in hopes that one of the employees would burst through with a fresh serving of chicken wings or whatever tray had been emptied. He saw dark figures move past the clouded round windows on the swinging doors and temporarily occlude the bright kitchen lights within, but they were indistinct blobs, and appeared to be focused on tasks of their own choosing rather than service of his needs.
He stood and realized that he was more intoxicated than he’d realized. He immediately resumed his seat and bent forward to regain his balance and bearings… and to swallow his rising gorge. When he sat up again, a dark, shaggy form perched in the chair across from him. The figure was no more than a silhouette, a raggedly hewn shadow. Yet there were eyes. Sinister golden gleams appeared and blinked at him. He heard a heavy, panting sort of breathing and a gust of foul-smelling carnivore breath assaulted his olfactory senses. “Who? Er, what are you doing at my table?” he asked in a mushy, confused manner. Still fighting off waves of nausea.
He could not see it very well in the poorly illuminated dining room, but his impression was that the... Being… smiled at him: a gaping, lolling smile, with a tongue dangling out to one side and sharp canines gleaming. “I thought I would check on you my righteous friend. You seem to be upset, unhappy. You nipped and barked at that other person who shares your Faith. I thought perhaps there was a deeper concern preying on your conscience?”
Pastor Bill had to force himself to think through what this… person? Had said to him. Likely some hippie-dippy weirdo. “That guy was a Catholic priest, we’re nowhere near the same Religion.”
Once more he heard the chortling laughter that was now very clear, “I’m sure you think it’s different. Those of his specific religion, came to these lands many years ago. They were the first of you Christians to arrive. The rest have been simple variations on a theme. The problems began, when your co-religionists assumed that only your God exists; that all of the local Gods and Spirits were instead Demons and Dark Powers. Instead of trying to show that yours is a better Way, you Christians insisted that yours is the only Way. You’ve forgotten that in Ancient Times, people held True to Deities who were attached to local communities or to the land and features around them; geographically and ethnically relevant. You have gone from subsuming and incorporating Older Gods as Angels and Saints, to Demonizing Them, and now in your hubris, to denying Them altogether.” He shook His head. “Too bad really, it creates an Adversarial relationship.” He chuckled at some joke that Pastor Bill was still too drunk to comprehend.
Pastor Bill had grown increasingly fearful as the Voice intoned Its Philosophies. He wanted to refute that Voice, to deny Its very Existence. Yet he feared Its Wrath more than anything he’d ever feared, even the Fires of Hell. Instead of making a stand and arguing his faith, he staggered to his feet and ran, stumbled, blindly toward the kitchen and the pale, ghostly figures within. Surely someone within would save him! The sardonic laughter chortled after him and chased him into the too bright lights, descending into the yips and howls of Coyote even as the doors swung shut behind him. He looked around at the glowing white figures who halted in their various progresses to stare at him. Their eyes! There were none, just empty sockets, faces slack, with gaping, lamprey maws. He heard a new sound as they swarmed him… his own forlorn screams of ultimate agony.
**** * ****
Fr. Bayani stood out on the River Overlook platform and enjoyed the solitude that had so recently left him restless. There were plenty of noises out across the flowing torrent: the water itself, as it passed over hidden objects, fish as they leapt from its embrace to kiss the night air, frogs and insects, and the warbling, mournful sounds of a loon, and the soft sigh of the wind as it passed through the verdant landscape. This is much more peaceful than the White Dove he thought. He had some trouble shaking off ruminations on the verbal assault from the strange, possibly drunken man in the restaurant. He decided that he would pray for the man, that he would one day soon find The True Faith. Sometimes that was all one could do for the short-sighted.
He heard a deep, coughing hiss out in the dark. He was startled but quickly realized that it was an American Alligator, cousin to creatures he had observed in many places around the planet. He was truly content, at one with Nature in all Her Glory… in all the natural splendor of Creation! he immediately corrected himself. A sound impinged on his senses as it slowly rose and obscured the others… it was a lapping sound at first, more like ocean waves on a beach than the banks of a river. Waves, at cross purposes to the flow of the river, slapped at the base of the platform. Soon they sounds evolved into splashes, as if something very large approached the River Overlook platform. He leaned over the rail to have a closer look. Perhaps it was a large water creature or a boat… maybe a ‘gator as the locals called the big reptiles.
He peered down at the dim rippling surface below. At first, he was unable to discern anything but small reflections on the water as it swirled and lapped; then from below the surface, he spotted an eye, a too large eye! It glowed from within with a sickly luminescence akin to that produced by deep growing fungi. As he stared in horror, he saw a mouth gape below the eye, and enormous frog-like opening with no teeth but serrated lips, like some monstrous catfish. As he stared, too much in shock to act, he suddenly felt his body wrapped in strong, leprous flesh and he quickly lost his ability to breathe. The last sight he saw before he plunged over the safety rail was the thin, grey, first light of dawn.
**** * ****
Chief Harry Whitehorse gazed around at his fellow chiefs and Shamans from various local Tribes, “So, are The Dark Ones satisfied once again? Have They sated their appetites on strangers so that our peoples will be safe for another year?”
Affirmative rumbles muttered around the conference room. Red Wolf, a Shaman, spoke from near the back row, “They are not only satisfied but Coyote assures us that the prey people will not be linked with our premises or business operations.”
Most of the fresh mutters sounded pleased, but old Harry had to ask, “Can we trust Him?”
Chortling laughter sounded throughout the conference room and ascended into thunderous yips and howls of hysterical glee.

**** * ****
Hussein nudged his brother Iqbal and aimed his chin toward the bar. “Look, a fat, stupid American has finally managed some success.”
Iqbal smirked, “It is the only way the infidels can succeed. They have no education and no skills to do anything useful. They don’t even worship their own God anymore, only money and fame. They will soon learn better…”
The brothers were out enjoying a night of revelry, with a few more planned when they reached the city. The celebrations were a last reward before they fulfilled their mission and achieved True Paradise through martyrdom. Hussein was superstitious and hoped to find success at gambling before they took the great risk that if successful, would help to sustain their cause. They’d grown up in this land of debauchery and foolishness but had been taught from the first to honor their own Beliefs and culture above anything the Americans professed.
Hussein was on roll number five of what he intended to be a short run. He wished to win five times for the Five Pillars of Islam, the name of his cell in the latest great Jihad. He blew on the dice and tossed. The small cubes bounced against the back side of the pit and tumbled end over end as he watched breathlessly. “Another ten!” the barker called. And pushed the winnings toward Hussein. He placed a minimum bet and rolled once more. He had already left the table before the barker called, “Snakeyes! Next roller please.”
He held up his chips triumphantly, “Iqbal, more money from roll number five! I kept the bet in place for five rolls, I left only the minimum for the last roll, it is a Sign! We are fated to succeed. We will meet the others tomorrow, go over the plan, and then have a few last nights to revel in this world…”
Iqbal patted his brother on the shoulder, “There is something I would like more than winning chips. He nodded toward the bar and the attractive and sinuous young local who worked behind it, steadily polishing glasses.
Hussein watched for a moment, unsure whether his brother meant the alcoholic drinks that had been forbidden until now or the woman. Knowing Iqbal, he assumed both. “As you wish brother. Take your mortal enjoyments while you can. She looks a little sullen though, frown, lowered brows, I like the happy ones.”
Iqbal’s serpent-like smile widened, “She will look better when I have freed her from the miseries of the uncircumcised. She will enjoy a real man. Who knows? Maybe I will convert her so that we can meet again in Paradise.” With that, he surged away from his brother and slithered up to the bar opposite the young First Nations maid. “Good evening, I noticed that you do not have many customers at the bar. It seems odd that so beautiful a creature as yourself would not attract more company.”
The woman ignored him, intently focused on her task. He tried again, “Perhaps I must order a drink to remain at the bar? If so, a gin and tonic if you please.”
She continued to polish the glass. He leaned forward, “Did you hear me?” he inquired in an annoyed tone. “Perhaps you have no business because you are surly and unhelpful.”
She looked at him and delivered a smirk that appeared to be far more evil than anything he could ever hope to muster, despite his thin, reptilian lips and predatory mind, “We don’t want customers to linger at the bar, getting drunk and building from misery to anger over their losses. We want them playing… and losing.” She leaned toward him and glared into his own eyes that he normally considered flinty and daunting. “You know about losing, don’t you?”
Hussein noted that the large man at the end of the bar in the “Security” shirt had begun stumping toward them. “Iqbal, perhaps it is time to go look for other entertainment.”
Iqbal ignored him, he was trapped in the serpent’s gaze, like a mouse dropped into a snake’s tank to be devoured while its owner watched with perverse interest. Hussein reached for his brother to tug at his arm but never got the chance. The big security officer seized his hand, drew it to his too wide chest and turned. The weight of the man drew him away from his brother and caused him to spin around so that he ended up facing the goon with his brother beyond the man and in the clutches of the Serpent Woman. The ham-fisted gargantuan continued to twist the hand he gripped until the pressure caused Hussein sever pain. He grunted and bent into the angle of his wrist to relieve the distress. He found himself bent forward and looking up desperately toward the man’s face.
The security staffer smiled, his square, blunt teeth showing dark behind an almost lipless mouth. His wide back and chest, covered in body armor under his shirt made him appear like a monster-sized… Turtle. Hussein felt himself lifted and placed behind the bar. His brother soon slithered over the top and fell to the floor beside him, smiling beatifically. Hussein opened his mouth to scream for help, but a large, blunt fist crashed into the side of his head and he saw stars… seven of them, like the Holy... The fist descended once more, and he saw only darkness.
**** * ****
Fr. Danilo Bayani was immensely enjoying his latest trip to the continental USA. He had visited Hawaii many years ago, and New York City more recently, but this was his first tour of the grand landbound spaces that this country offered. He’d managed to roam so far from his origins in Manila. Now, in his twilight years, he longed to see what he could of God’s Green Earth. All on the payroll of The Vatican while they cleanse the records of those hateful… allegations. The bitter thoughts raced across his mind. Of course he was a sinner, he was only mortal. He’d been expiated of those sins and had paid an enormous price to continue serving in his capacity as a parish priest. He forced his mind to return to the moment and more enjoyable pursuits.
He noted the hirsute and similar appearing pair of men who had gone to the bar and wondered why the Security officer approached them, but his attention was called once more to the round of Texas Hold’em and his table mates. When he again had a moment to look, no one was at the bar, in front or behind… curious, he thought, but he quickly refocused his attention on the fascinating new game he was in the process of learning. He was familiar with Poker, so it wasn’t difficult to learn. He liked the high level of interaction that this version of the old game allowed. He’d done well, certainly gained enough to fund extracurricular activities during the rest of his current sabbatical.
He’d been disturbed by the overall atmosphere of this place when he’d arrived. He did not care for the numerous paintings and sculptures of Ancient Native Deities and Spirits. They seemed to be mostly images of the Dark Beings of various Tribal cultures. He loved to study diverse cultures, but this place was an amalgamation of cultures, built for mutual support by several Tribes in the region. Much of the artwork was schlocky and clearly intended to cater to the garish and sordid tastes of the vapid gambling set. Some part of him did not feel… welcome, as though he had intruded on some private Place, set aside for Other Gods.
He shook off the depressing musings… There are NO Other Gods, he reassured himself. He soon stepped away from the table to take care of personal needs and to decide what he should do with the rest of his night. Perhaps he would visit the White Dove Restaurant & Ballroom on the other side of the hotel lobby from the casino. It boasted a good reputation according to online reviews, even though it was a simple buffet style with a dance floor to one side. He liked the name, it was… peaceful he decided.
He soon had a selection of food piled onto a plate and was seated near the dance floor. The place was sparsely occupied, so his hopes of being able to watch dancers as he ate were dashed. Still, the food was good enough. A little bland, but that was necessary in a place that acted as a crossroads of cultures. There was a spice table at the end of the primary row of entrees. He’d helped himself, yet nothing seemed to attach to his taste buds. The combination of eating nearly alone, having no one with energy around him, and the tasteless food soon had him growing restless. He finished up his repast and left the table to go out to the final section of the complex he had not visited, the River Overlook.
As he passed the table nearest the entrance, he saw a stout man in a rumpled sport coat, who glared daggers at him, eyes focused on his crucifix, the only outward sign of his profession. The man appeared to be so hostile, that he paused for a moment to determine whether he’d done anything to offend the fellow. “Excuse me sir, have I offended you in some way?”
The man looked startled. He was apparently unused to being confronted about his demeanor or behavior. He scowled, “Don’t like that thing you have around your neck. You Catholics are all Hell-bound. No concept of righteousness. Not that you’d understand, you people don’t even read The Book. You listen to your priests and pope and disregard The Word. All the kneeling and ritual prayers in the world won’t save you in the end. Go back to your idols and beads and leave me alone to seek Heaven.”
Fr. Bayani was startled by the vehemence with which the man spoke. He hadn’t been attacked directly for his Faith in years. “Sir, I’m not sure what Religion you practice, but I am a man of God, a consecrated priest of the Holy Church. I assure you that I understand more than most, if not as much as I would like. I meant no harm and wish you a peaceful night.”
With that, he started to walk past the man, but the man rose from his table and pointed his finger, “Your pope is the Anti-Christ, and your Church is a place of Satan! Look to the Bible for your salvation before it’s too late.”
Fr. Bayani increased his pace and continued on his journey to the River Overlook. He would need the peace and tranquility that nature and the sound of flowing water would provide to settle his roiling mind.
**** * ****
Pastor Bill resumed his seat and shook his head, “Fool, doesn’t know that he’s risking his soul, courting Damnation.” He’d had a bad run at the tables over at the casino. His Denomination frowned on games of chance, but he had needed the money. One of his congregation had come up pregnant and they had to get it resolved before the three-month deadline for abortions. He knew that if his wife found out about Carmen, then she would divorce him. He was here to break every major rule that he professed to hold dear each week. His plan for quick money had failed, so he’d visited the bar. Now he hoped that eating would guide him back to sobriety. He had to think of another plan.
Seeing that… priest had annoyed him. Had he not been inebriated, he would never have said what he did, nor stared so rudely in the first place. Yet he wanted someone on whom to vent the anger he felt, that arose from fear and he’d always disliked the papists. If his wife divorced him, if the scandal involving the woman who cleaned the church all week and then occupied the back pew every Sunday ever broke; he would lose his ministry, his livelihood. His degree in Theology would be worthless. He might be able to get a job teaching, at some secular school, but most would not hire fervent Christians like himself.
He stared dejectedly at his plate of food that had contained more spice and flavors than he liked, a shadow passed in his periphery. It was low-slung and blurred just a bit as it loped along the wall. He thought he heard an odd laugh, somewhere between human and… canine? Maybe a little like a hyena might sound, or so he imagined. There was a manic quality to the laughter. A jest that was on him so that only the other Entity knew what it was. It was the wicked laughter of children at play, who’d decided to target a fat kid with glasses. A kid whose parents had been abusive addicts but who later “got right” through religious-based recovery programs. Their faith had led him to his own, but he’d never really lost those early traumas of being unaccepted by his peers and being beaten by people who later professed faith above all.
A mocking whine, definitely doggish, his now sobering consciousness informed him. Something was making fun of him, teasing him from the shadows. He looked around for staff members or other customers but found himself alone. The dining area and the dance floor were deserted. It was odd, there was almost always someone at the buffet service tables. He looked over to the kitchen doors in hopes that one of the employees would burst through with a fresh serving of chicken wings or whatever tray had been emptied. He saw dark figures move past the clouded round windows on the swinging doors and temporarily occlude the bright kitchen lights within, but they were indistinct blobs, and appeared to be focused on tasks of their own choosing rather than service of his needs.
He stood and realized that he was more intoxicated than he’d realized. He immediately resumed his seat and bent forward to regain his balance and bearings… and to swallow his rising gorge. When he sat up again, a dark, shaggy form perched in the chair across from him. The figure was no more than a silhouette, a raggedly hewn shadow. Yet there were eyes. Sinister golden gleams appeared and blinked at him. He heard a heavy, panting sort of breathing and a gust of foul-smelling carnivore breath assaulted his olfactory senses. “Who? Er, what are you doing at my table?” he asked in a mushy, confused manner. Still fighting off waves of nausea.
He could not see it very well in the poorly illuminated dining room, but his impression was that the... Being… smiled at him: a gaping, lolling smile, with a tongue dangling out to one side and sharp canines gleaming. “I thought I would check on you my righteous friend. You seem to be upset, unhappy. You nipped and barked at that other person who shares your Faith. I thought perhaps there was a deeper concern preying on your conscience?”
Pastor Bill had to force himself to think through what this… person? Had said to him. Likely some hippie-dippy weirdo. “That guy was a Catholic priest, we’re nowhere near the same Religion.”
Once more he heard the chortling laughter that was now very clear, “I’m sure you think it’s different. Those of his specific religion, came to these lands many years ago. They were the first of you Christians to arrive. The rest have been simple variations on a theme. The problems began, when your co-religionists assumed that only your God exists; that all of the local Gods and Spirits were instead Demons and Dark Powers. Instead of trying to show that yours is a better Way, you Christians insisted that yours is the only Way. You’ve forgotten that in Ancient Times, people held True to Deities who were attached to local communities or to the land and features around them; geographically and ethnically relevant. You have gone from subsuming and incorporating Older Gods as Angels and Saints, to Demonizing Them, and now in your hubris, to denying Them altogether.” He shook His head. “Too bad really, it creates an Adversarial relationship.” He chuckled at some joke that Pastor Bill was still too drunk to comprehend.
Pastor Bill had grown increasingly fearful as the Voice intoned Its Philosophies. He wanted to refute that Voice, to deny Its very Existence. Yet he feared Its Wrath more than anything he’d ever feared, even the Fires of Hell. Instead of making a stand and arguing his faith, he staggered to his feet and ran, stumbled, blindly toward the kitchen and the pale, ghostly figures within. Surely someone within would save him! The sardonic laughter chortled after him and chased him into the too bright lights, descending into the yips and howls of Coyote even as the doors swung shut behind him. He looked around at the glowing white figures who halted in their various progresses to stare at him. Their eyes! There were none, just empty sockets, faces slack, with gaping, lamprey maws. He heard a new sound as they swarmed him… his own forlorn screams of ultimate agony.
**** * ****
Fr. Bayani stood out on the River Overlook platform and enjoyed the solitude that had so recently left him restless. There were plenty of noises out across the flowing torrent: the water itself, as it passed over hidden objects, fish as they leapt from its embrace to kiss the night air, frogs and insects, and the warbling, mournful sounds of a loon, and the soft sigh of the wind as it passed through the verdant landscape. This is much more peaceful than the White Dove he thought. He had some trouble shaking off ruminations on the verbal assault from the strange, possibly drunken man in the restaurant. He decided that he would pray for the man, that he would one day soon find The True Faith. Sometimes that was all one could do for the short-sighted.
He heard a deep, coughing hiss out in the dark. He was startled but quickly realized that it was an American Alligator, cousin to creatures he had observed in many places around the planet. He was truly content, at one with Nature in all Her Glory… in all the natural splendor of Creation! he immediately corrected himself. A sound impinged on his senses as it slowly rose and obscured the others… it was a lapping sound at first, more like ocean waves on a beach than the banks of a river. Waves, at cross purposes to the flow of the river, slapped at the base of the platform. Soon they sounds evolved into splashes, as if something very large approached the River Overlook platform. He leaned over the rail to have a closer look. Perhaps it was a large water creature or a boat… maybe a ‘gator as the locals called the big reptiles.
He peered down at the dim rippling surface below. At first, he was unable to discern anything but small reflections on the water as it swirled and lapped; then from below the surface, he spotted an eye, a too large eye! It glowed from within with a sickly luminescence akin to that produced by deep growing fungi. As he stared in horror, he saw a mouth gape below the eye, and enormous frog-like opening with no teeth but serrated lips, like some monstrous catfish. As he stared, too much in shock to act, he suddenly felt his body wrapped in strong, leprous flesh and he quickly lost his ability to breathe. The last sight he saw before he plunged over the safety rail was the thin, grey, first light of dawn.
**** * ****
Chief Harry Whitehorse gazed around at his fellow chiefs and Shamans from various local Tribes, “So, are The Dark Ones satisfied once again? Have They sated their appetites on strangers so that our peoples will be safe for another year?”
Affirmative rumbles muttered around the conference room. Red Wolf, a Shaman, spoke from near the back row, “They are not only satisfied but Coyote assures us that the prey people will not be linked with our premises or business operations.”
Most of the fresh mutters sounded pleased, but old Harry had to ask, “Can we trust Him?”
Chortling laughter sounded throughout the conference room and ascended into thunderous yips and howls of hysterical glee.

So the Hazbin Hotel team confirmed the presence of seven circles in hell, each representing one of the seven deadly sins. For now only two have been shown/nominated, the circle of pride, where the sinners souls reside and the circle of greed, where Loo Loo Land is. Since Lucifer and Mammon have been said to be the rulers of the respective circles we can expect the Hell of the HHU (Hazbin Hotel Universe) to follow the classical hierarchy of the seven princes, each ruling one of these circles. I have decided to bring out my knowledge on Demonology to present to you a bit of infos regarding the demons associated with each sin, to help with theories, OCs or simply for anyone that wants more clarity on demons that have appeared or might appear in the show. Because I study history and not necromancy an important portion of this post will regard the historical origins of each demon (who are just as interesting as the demon itself, trust me). The list changes from source to source, so I will present the demons that I understand being the most well recognized in each position, at the end I will put a little description of two other demons that have been named in similar hierarchies.
Pride > Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar, the bringer of light, the angel of betrayal, ruler of Hell. Lucifer is the most well known of all demons, and is regarded as the angel that rebelled to God and was thrown out of from heaven. The crime is different from source to source, but always involves hubris, either he refused to bow down to humanity, considering himself to be superior to them, or he wanted to dethrone god (or, in Paradise Lost, because he was jealous of Jesus). Lucifer is represented either as stunningly beautiful, having retained its angelic beauty, or as an horrifying monster that sometimes had a face on its ass. Neither would be true, since as a Cherubim Lucifer should have four wings, two of which hide its body, four heads, one human, one of a lion, one of a bull and one of an eagle, and goat hooves.
Lucifer in the HHU appears to have its traditional backstory of the fallen angel, plus considering the way it is dressed he also cover the role of the snake that tempted Eve (we’ll discuss about him later). While he is called only an overlord instead of the ruler of hell, he possess great power and authority, being considered the most powerful demon in Hell since he seems to have retained some of its angelic powers. Lucifer in the HHU has also married Lilith, a figure in Hebrew mythology who is said to be the first woman. God made her from mud in the same way as Adam, when she was told she had to submit to Adam and "be on the bottom" she refused , wanting instead to be treated equally. Her rebellion caused her to become a demon, and it is said she sired thousands of childrens with the demons of the desert.
Wrath > Satan. Satan, in many demonic hierarchies and list of demons a separate entity from Lucifer. Satan is referred as the snake that tempted Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, and is usually portrayed as an hideous creature more than Lucifer himself. Satan is Lucifer in the end, both because they lack a backstory that differ from one another, but also because they were created in the same way.
Satan in the HHU hasn’t appeared, and while it has been confirmed he is a separate character from Lucifer we still know nothing about him.
Historically speaking neither Satan nor Lucifer exist. They were created from the figure of the angel Samael ("the poison of god") who was called "satan" in Hebrew, a generic term that means "adversary". Satan is used in the Bible many times to refer to humans, demons and angels. Samael had the job of being the adversary of humankind on behalf of God, testing their faith by opposing them. He is the angel that asked Abhram to sacrifice his son Isaac, that ruined the life of Job and wrestled with Jacob for an entire night.
The misunderstanding then came because of Isaiah 14:12, a passage originally talking of a Mesopotamian king who had fell out of grace, referred ironically with its title hêlêl, which means light of God or bringer of light. The Greeks translated it in phosphorus, and when it was translated in Latin it became Lucifer, except that someone put the capital letter at the beginning of it, transforming it into a name instead of an adjective, creating the fallen Lucifer. After that the Christian doctrine absorbed this new figure and fused him with the angel that tested humankind and with the snake that tempted Eve. The snake itself was not supposed to be an evil spirit, but simply a trickster. The serpent itself in near-east culture was a symbol of fertility and rebirth, but is disputed what he represent, with the most creditable theory being a metaphor for sexual desires, being a metaphor for the loss of purity (with the exchange of the apple being a metaphor for Sex) dehumanized as much as possible.
Only later demonologist split Lucifer and Satan in two characters, leaving Lucifer with the traits of the rebellious angel and using Satan as the incarnation of the negative inclinations and instincts inside of humans. The hooves of its Cherubim form would then also be used to associate and demonize pagan wild gods such as Cernunnos and Pan, using them to create the image of the classic devil as we know it, with goat hooves, horns, usually naked and with a visible erection (since these gods were also gods of fertility and sex).
Gluttony > Beelzebub. In some of the oldest texts, Beelzebub is put as the ruler of hell and all demons. Beelzebub is referred as “Lord of the Flies”, and while he doesn’t make children go insane and murder each other’s, he does incite men to all manner of sin, most importantly he causes men to pray to false gods, and is represented as a giant (and in my opinion metal as Hell) fly. According to many exorcists and demonologists Beelzebub managed to overthrow Satan as the ruler of hell, founding the order of the Knights of the Fly. According to Jacques Deplancy Beelzebub become the ruler of Hell, instituting a constitutional monarchy, leaving Satan to become the chief of the political opposition, creating both a House of the Lords and a Ministry of Justice, where Lucifer acts as the chief of (in)justice, with Alastor as its executioner.
Beelzebub is a political demon, created by demonizing the main god of the Canaanite people, Baal. Baal means “Lord” in the canaanite language, and is used to refer to multiple deities, but particularly to the god Hadad. The Canaanites and the Hebrews went many times to war, and because they worshipped different divinities from what they believed being “the true one”, they called the other False God and insulted their followrs. The name Beelzebub comes from the term Baal ‘al Zeebub, which means “Lord of the Flies”, used to insult Baal by calling him a pile of shit, and its followers flies. This is also why the most ancient texts put Beelzebub as the ruler of Hell, since their main enemy were the followers of Baal they saw them as demons, and him as their chief.
Lust > Asmodeus. Asmodeus is probably the most well known demon beside the triad that I already named. Asmodeus is a demon of lechery and hedonism, and encourages gambling. He is called the worst of demons, the husband of Lilith, and the king of all jinns. Asmodeus is seen with many traits, but mostly as a creature with three heads, one of a ram, one of a bull and one of a human. Asmodeus commands an army of demons, and Solomon actually once tricked him into creating the Temple of Jerusalem, even if sometimes the act is attributed to Baalzebub, controlled by Solomon with his ring.
The name Asmodai is believed to come from aēšma-daēva, from the ancient Avestan language (a proto-Iranian language connected with the Zoroastrian religion), meaning “demon of wrath”. The figure of aēṣ̌ma (or Aeshma) is well recognized as the demon of wrath in Zoroastian, and while the addition of the component daēva to the name is redundant and not attested, it does exist in both Zoroastrian and Middle Persian, so it is entirely possible.
The frequent use of Asmodai as an evil spirit in Semitic folklore is actually very important for the scholars since it proves the influence Persian Zoroastrian beliefs had on Judaic theology and mythology. Also u/The-J-Man141 made an fantastic OC of Asmodeus, and I am going to be deeply disappointed when it will looks different in the show.
Envy > Leviathan. The leviathan is known as a giant marine creature, a giant and powerful monster that will emerge from the sea during the Last Judgment to devour the souls of the damned. In the meantime, he endangers God’s creation by threatening with the rising of the waters. The Leviathan is supposed to be one of three mighty beasts, the others being the Behemoth and the bird Ziz.
In the HHU a character by the name of Seviathan von Eldritch has been mentioned. He is a noble demon and the ex of Charlie. We still don’t know enough about him to confirm whether he is the only reference to the serpent or not.
Leviathan is the dragon of Semitic cultures. The Leviathan is the incarnation of marine storms and chaos, and is recognized as the sea-serpent Lotan, servant of the sea god Yam, killed by the father god Baal Hadad. This act represent how the god bested the forces of chaos and nature and became ruler of the world, which is also reflected in the way Yahweh defeats the Leviathan in Isaiah 27:1. All cultures and ancient religions possess a snake-like creatures, monsters or god, roles spanning from symbols of fertility, to incarnations of the most destructive forces of nature and chaos. The reasons of which are disputed, the most reasonable one ties them with an innate primordial fear of snakes and reptiles, inheritance of our ancestors mammals, the other is the discovery and misinterpretations of dinosaur fossils isby ancient cultures, although their influence in the Palestinian area is disputable.
Greed > Mammon. Mammon is a demon of wealth and greed, often taking the place of Treasurer of Hell (and ambassador of England in its spare time). There aren’t many depictions of this demon, but is seen as a man that holds a purse full of gold, tempting men with material wealth.
While Mammon has not appeared in the HHU he seems to own both Robo Fizz and Loo Loo land, and seems to be in charge of Hell’s bank, since his face appears on moneys. The face that appears on moneys and at the end its signature suggest that he looks like a jester, and that both Fizzaroli and Robo Fizz have been inspired from him.
Mammon has a simple history, with his name being the Hebrew word for Money and Wealth. In the bible and other texts he is personified many times, most famous is the phrase “You can’t worship both God and Mammon”. He is a metaphorical “false god”, being a representation of the evil that is caused by “worshiping” money and wealth. Basically Jeff Bezos is a disciple of Mammon.
Sloth > Belphegor. Belphegor is a demon that suggest to humans ideas for inventions that will make them rich, and corrupts men by promising them wealth. While he is represented very little, in the Dictionnaire Infernal he is depicted as being on a toilet, with the expression of someone that didn’t ate light the last evening. He is also said to be the ambassador of France.
Belphegor name comes from a Moabite god, also called Baal because as I said it just means “lord”, associated with an event of heresy known as the heresy of Baal Peor, described in likely biased details in Numbers 25:1–15. He was apparently worshiped as a phallus and its cult involved orgies. It is not clear why he gained such importance to become one of the princes of Hell.
Astaroth. In the Lanterne of Light the demon Astaroth takes the role of Prince of Pride. Astaroth is a Great Duke of hell that rides a mighty dragon. Often paired with Beelzebub and Lucifer in an evil trinity that opposes the holy trinity. He possess a possibly poisonus breath, and is said to seduce men by making them lazy, doubt themselves and by making them overthink. If a conjurer manages to bind him, he teaches mathemathical sciences and handicrafts, he also has power over snakes and everything unseen. According to Jacques Deplancy he is the treasurer of Hell and a Knight of the Fly.
Astaroth comes from the goddess Astarte, the Phoenician goddess of fertility and war, written as Astoreth in the Bible. Fun fact, Astarte is the Hellenized form of the Babylonian goddess of love, war, fertility and magic Ishtar. Also also som Phoenician merchants brought her cult to Greece, and the Spartans liked her so much they started worshipping her, calling her Aphrodite, the Athenians then stripped the aspect of warrior goddess.
Abadon. In the Lanterne of Light the demon Abadon takes the role of Prince of Sloth. Abadon is said to be the Archangel of the Bottomless Pit. He controls an army of monstrous locusts that will rise during the Apocalypse. In Greek he is called Apollyon, while in latin its name is Exterminans. Abadon is often put in contraposition to Sheol, a realm of shadows where the souls of the dead reside, also used as another name from Hell, suggesting either that either he is himself a realm of destruction or destruction itself. He has also been called the angel Muriel, who performs his destruction on God’s behalf, and will bring the souls of humanity to the location of the last Judgment.
Abaddon comes from the verb ’ăḇāḏ, which means “destruction”. It’s used many times and probably has the same origin as Mammon, where a word is personified so many times that is then taken as an individual entity, or in its case as a place of pure destruction. It is one of the most confusing demons, and the lack of informations we have on him doesn't really help.
Feedback and corrections welcome!

Index Previous Next
PERSONS OF THE DIALOGUE: ASPIRATION, ANGER, GNODENTA, COMMUNITY, INTROSPECTION, THALIAN, ACTION, BORACLIES, THOS, GRANDIOSITY, BERO, ANIATIO, PARAMIA, ORAMIO
ASPIRATION: It's Story time. Today we're going to talk about 3 things: Ritual, Tokenization, and The Lords Prayer. So, we've established in the past that ancient religion is a an astrological allegory, hybridized with a number of concepts, or nam-shubs that established standards for society, health, and psychological care. But one thing we haven't talked about is the dogma that surrounds these. The standards, the rituals. Why is dogma and ritual a desirable trait? That question isn't rhetorical.
ANGER: Its a helpful vessel for encoding, socially?
GNODENTA: Consistency?
ASPIRATION: Both correct, but there is a deeper individual reason.
COMMUNITY: Grounding and connection to all the others who do/have used the same?
INTROSPECTION: Dogma can be desirable if the principles are virtuous.
THALIAN: It reinforces belief.
ASPIRATION: You're all on the right wavelength, we're interested in this case with the underlying principle in here, like always, so lets explore that. When a person quits smoking, they are most successful if they set a day, remove all the paraphernalia, and tell others of their plans. One of the most successful treatments for alcoholics is a group setting that reinforces certain ritualized behaviors as well.
ANGER: Accountability, in that case; both personal and social.
ASPIRATION: Accountability is certainly half of this. What's the other half?
ANGER: Commitment?
ACTION: Motivation.
BORACLIES: Validation?
THOS: Discipline, willpower.
COMMUNITY: Support.
ASPIRATION: Those things are all involved. But importantly, and something our modern society is quickly losing… is ritualization. Compounding social and personal choices with an aspect of holiness. Baptism, for instance, in the classic sense utilized otherwise meaningless ritualized movements in a social setting to impart holiness. Dunking yourself underwater is not meaningful. Tokenizing that act, with supporting dogma and ritual reinforces a decision made on the part of the individual being baptized. Psychologically you are aligning and inviting all aspects of yourself to reinforce a decision.
BERO: It’s a consecrating act.
ASPIRATION: Yes. Remember how we've talked about the breakdown of the bicameral mind? That process is by no means complete. While ancient humans may well have had a voice in their head representing the superego, we still have aspects of ourselves that are occluded from our consciousness. Are folks following?
GRANDIOSITY: Yes. One thing, though. I’ve heard studies show you have a greater chance of being successful with your goals if you tell fewer people about them.
ASPIRATION: Yes, there is an optimal number.
ANGER: Telling someone about a project has the same dopamine response as finishing it.
ASPIRATION: But you are almost completely unlikely to accomplish a difficult goal if you tell no one about it. We aren't talking about work projects, we are talking about undertaking a change that will involve new aspects of ourselves. So, if we can agree that we have parts of ourselves operating independently of our surface level desires. And we see evidence of this in our daily lives everywhere. Then you can understand the importance of ritualization. It gets multiple aspects of yourself to align on a decision. So, for instance, if I decide to quit gambling and whoring and become a godly, productive member of society because that is what my conscious self wants… But my emotional self gets deep gratification from these things, and my aspirational self is telling the story that I am a top notch ladies man and excellent gambler. Then I'm not likely to be successful, I haven't brought those parts along.
Nearly universally, we see religious organizations codify abstinence from sex to the greatest extent possible when joining, can anyone tell me why?
THALIAN: Is it because sex is too gratifying and is biologically equivalent to ultimate success?
ASPIRATION: Close, the church doesn't want your to kill the sexual urge; It wants you to reassign it. It wants you to assign your sexual urges to more fervently serve the church. To use a very powerful driver of behavior to service this new way of life, the churches "body". This is why nuns marry Jesus, and are considered holy. This is why priests are supposed to be celibate entirely. And this is why ultimately most cults seek to harness the sexual drive toward the leader.
The task is hard. Nearly impossible, especially since the context for these choices has been almost entirely lost. But, in the early church, where the shared context was well understood - it was easier.
Is anyone here aware of the concept of "contemplation" in the early catholic tradition?
INTROSPECTION: It's the idea of being aware of the divine through intuition almost, seeing God. It's kind of an offshoot, in modern times, though.
ANGER: It's usually achieved with prayer or meditation.
ASPIRATION: Yes, in practice it is a deeply almost erotic act. It is sitting, full attention to God, and allowing yourself to be completely enraptured by it. But the energy used for that complete mind and body vibe was sexual in nature. Not bodily, but mentally. Another way to describe this, because we don't have a context in modern western society was tantric.
It is the assignation of the sexual part of yourself to more fully appreciate the communion with presence. Making love to the universe, in other words, with your psyche. The church understood, the acts a person must undertake that result in presence are difficult, and can be occasionally quite boring. This is why peter, in his letters to the early church, tell the members to abstain if they can, but if not, to only have one sexual partner. The boring quality of marital sex was considered a feature, not a bug.
BERO: But not to confuse it tantric is from Hinduism not Christianity which you are saying is the church?
ASPIRATION: I am saying the word tantric because we don't have a western word for it. It is simply assigning your sexual self and your sexual energy to the act of being present.
BERO: Just don’t want to get that confused when people say church I assume they’re referring to Christianity.
ASPIRATION: I am referring to the early christian church in most cases because that is the font of most of our remaining western nam-shubs. If I were speaking to an islamic audience, I would be using early islam. The point I'm currently trying to get across is this. Being present is hard it can be scary. The early church knew this, and sought, through ritualized behavior, social reinforcement, and tantra, to incentivize all parts of oneself to align on that goal. This is why the incense, the arcane language, the mortification, the sexual denial, the regular meetings, even the architecture all serve to deliver a person to this state.
A state of grace.
Or, as we would call it now, a state of presence. This is the goal. When they they say the path is narrow, they mean the path to presence, when they say god, they mean "what is" which you can only witness if you are present. What I've been doing in here over and over again is to allow you to let go of this idea that early religions were stupid. They were not. But as the early context was lost. We replaced the original meaning of the ideas which are ineffable because they are off the map with concrete concepts. God went from all that is to a dude.
INTROSPECTION: Were they mostly all blind men and an elephant?
ASPIRATION: Exactly. It wasn't that the keepers of the faith were blind. It's that they had to describe ships on the water to people who had never considered the idea of a ship before. Just like I'm trying to do in here. They used the context around them to create a narrow path. So that members would be forced to stumble on them.
THOS: So you're saying a lot has gotten lost in translation?
ASPIRATION: I'm saying that even then, there wasn't a translation. And I'm saying that now, with the cultural context that they had now lost to history, you're very unlikely to get what they were trying to say.
We started, originally, with Lilies of the field. To show how much that concept has been lost. Or the fact that not many people alive today know what this hell original sin is all about. So what I'm trying to do in here is create a path using a modern context. Same path, new metaphors. So, lets jump on the elephant in the room, that big, rhino-y, almost universally misunderstood word. God. How, in the bible, does god describe himself when he shows up?
THALIAN: The Alpha and Omega, Beginning and the End.
INTROSPECTION: Almighty.
ANIATIO: Father.
ASPIRATION: Ding to all. So, god comes by and says. Yo, I'm everything. And we, 2000 years later, hear it as. You mean a bearded white dude? And from there, any hope of process toward what the church was trying to do is lost. God isn't a personality, or an intelligence, or a person in these ancient traditions. It is quite literally everything, personified. The universe as a relatable... thing. This is why god doesn't have a voice, or rather, uses the metatron to speak.
The act of prayer is very different now than it was, because we're tangled up in this idea that he is our literal dad, and we need stuff from him. Originally, asking for stuff in prayer was considered very taboo. Asking for stuff in prayer reinforces the wrong idea. Namely, that you need something you don't already inherently possess. Everybody following so far? Because we need this context under us. God is what is, dogma around god is a social construct designed to grease the skids toward an enlightened place. That you cannot be told about, you must experience. This is why the church makes the rest of your life boring. Mortification and self flagellation, ritual, social reinforcement, all pushing new members toward a space where they can become present using as many aspects of yourself as they can.
The word "Father" in this case simply means "that which I am issued from". Early beliefs thought that life was in semen. The father literally was carrying around your life. This is why the church doesn't like birth control. So, here we are, ready to start interpreting some very old shit.
The Lord's Prayer Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; they kingcome come thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
With this new understanding underneath us, lets parse out some famous religious ornamentation. Let's start with The Lords Prayer. Which is supposed to contain the ENTIRE teaching in a nutshell. The lords prayer is a portable church, in other words. Let's start with the first line: Our Father.
Our father is a call to orient one's self appropriately. The stressed concept in modern context is 'father', But the early stress was on 'our'. Jesus drops this line, in the story. To help you know where you stand. You stand, equally, with everyone else. A more clunky way to put this, unpacked, would be something like:
"We know that if we do this together, we have a better chance of reinforcing contemplation and enlightenment, we are all equals in this task, and even Jesus is just another one of us"
"And so we all join together to do that, as we turn our contemplation toward all that is, which we are of course a part of"
THOS: So the "who" that follows is of less importance.
ASPIRATION: The who is deeply important, because that who is, by our closest modern approximation, "everything". So lets all get together, as equals, to contemplate that which is.
THOS: Yes, what I meant to say is the "who" isn't a person.
ASPIRATION: Yes. There is no who, only everything. And we're about to get there.... because.… "Who art in heaven". What is heaven, in the old testament?
THALIAN: Garden of Eden.
GRANDIOSITY: Heaven is a state, not a place.
ASPIRATION: No, that's presence, again. What is the first thing that is created, after the void?
INTROSPECTION: Heaven.
ASPIRATION: Yes. Again, an incredibly densely packed allegory, genesis is. The first thing that is created is heaven. So for a very brief moment, all that is is simply "heaven". Earth is then created, and now we have a concept of time. because we have two things operating relative to one another.
INTROSPECTION: Because of before / after.
ASPIRATION: Yes. But God's first thing (God being everything that is) is to convert everything that is from a concept of nothing to something. Now, it's very easy for me to get of track here, because then earth is created and this becomes a shit-show of complexity I'm not ready to tackle today.
But "Who art in heaven" means: Yo, god is everything, that dwells everywhere.
How we doing folks? We're getting pretty high concept here.
People respond that they are tracking.
GRANDIOSITY: Well, I’d believed that Heaven was a state, not a place.
ASPIRATION: It contains both of those. It is all places and all states. It is also all non places. Earth is created to symbolize duality, and the concept of time, but it is in heaven.
INTROSPECTION: It is all everything.
ASPIRATION: Yeah, that one will explode my brain if I go down that path, so lets take it slow.
THOS: Wait, wait. Heaven has no concept of time or does it?
ASPIRATION: No, there is no time if all states are included. This goes back to the lesson of time being a lie that represents two objects in relationship to one another.
INTROSPECTION: Heaven contains Earth because it is all encompassing, and exists. Then earth is created, again introducing the arrow of time. But heaven existed if you will outside of time. So it contains earth.
ASPIRATION: Bang, right in the kisser. So, "Who art in heaven" means that is everywhere. And we are really, just barely scratching the surface of these two simple lines. Digging into it deeply in a disassociated ego forward state will break you, because, of course, it is designed to. The point is this, with the proper context, this prayer is designed to break your sense of self and cast you into a present awareness state. We're going very easy on it right now, because we've only just restored enough context to make this nam-shub potent again.
And for the lurkers, who are just getting into this. This is not a religious channel, and I am not a religious man, I'm not peddling Christianity.
So, lets get back on track. Who art in heaven simply establishes the dwelling place of life. Which is... literally translated, everything, everywhere, all the time. Now we get to some truly psychedelic shit. "Hallowed be thy name". Here is where the juices really start flowing. Can anybody tell me what's weird about the name of God?
ANGER: The name never really translates, does it? There’s never a right term. We can only approach the word.
ASPIRATION: Exactly. And the name of God is supposed to have all of this power, right? But for some reason it's unutterable. Yahweh is god's nickname. Gods real name is supposed to have indescribable power. There are entire sects who have taken this literally and spend all day trying to figure out gods name. In the Hindu tradition, dying with "gods name" on your lips is supposed to stop the karmic cycle and give you everlasting life.
GNODENTA: In the romance languages, like French, Dieu has a little more meaning when you look at the latin roots. It's something like "to shine". But then again, that's not designating a being but rather a sensation or perception.
ASPIRATION: BANG. The name of god is everything that is. To be able to speak it means you are one with everything that is. It is unutterable because it is everything.
THALIAN: I am that I am.
ASPIRATION: Yes. So, to be capable of speaking gods name is to be completely enlightened, or completely present. This is why god isn't named in the prayer. Otherwise it would be quite simple to say Hallowed is the name "Jeff".
So, hallowed. That's the name. That's a name we all really want. That's the goal, man. The name of God. The next few lines are declarative statements, not requests. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. We aren't asking for these things, we are acknowledging them. On earth as it is in heaven. Again, not requests. Statements. Not, gosh, we really want these things. But damn, we already have these things. How can we see it? Well, I'm glad you asked.... because! Give us this day our daily bread. What, the fuck, does this line mean? We've talked about bread in here. Specifically the bread called Manna. Manna is an unleavened bread the Jews used to eat. But why daily?
INTROSPECTION: Manna, nourishment from heaven. Given to the Israelites.
ASPIRATION: Yes, and what happened when the Jews collected it, instead of trusting that it would show up the next day?
INTROSPECTION: It spoiled and was corrupted. So it's needed each day, and supposed to be consumed that day.
ASPIRATION: Yes, and storing it is a form of original sin. Storing manna means you are trying to judge what will happen. You're forgetting you're the pond. You are not present, you're worried about the future. You're not a lily of the field.
INTROSPECTION: The lily doesn't labor. All is provided, by God.
ASPIRATION: No, the lily is holy, because it doesn't dwell in a state of dualism. A lily is all that is, it doesn't judge itself separate.
INTROSPECTION: It exists, it doesn't concern itself with the future?
ASPIRATION: Yes. A lily doesn't know that it isn't God. Original sin is simply this: We developed the belief that were were not God, and it kicked us out of the paradise all other things enjoy; the freedom from the fear of death. The everlasting awareness of the present.
This helps you see that original sin doesn't mean you are bad. It means you are pitiable. And everything, all the time, is trying to get you to step away from that tortured state. Just, go be a lily, man. lift your face to God "what is" man, don't store manna, man. Give no thought to the morrow, man. The bible is an astrological metaphor, the stars a cast of characters all designed to "wash you" of dualism.
The goal is enlightenment. All the literalism destroys the goal, so the bible looks arcane and cruel. And we aren't done... because: on earth as it is in heaven. Again. Declarative, not pleading. Asserting. On earth as it is in heaven. It's already done, dualism is a lie.
GRANDIOSITY: So, dualism is then the involvement in both the present and the future, and the path to enlightenment involves letting go of that involvement in the future.
ASPIRATION: And the past.
Now, we get an interrogative. The first request in the whole damned thing. Lead us not into temptation.
ACTION: To a degree this connects with the whole food-thing. We were so preoccupied to make sure Aspiration was able to survive later down the line with meals that we did not consider if he was hungry now. We were so preoccupied with hording we didn't just be.
ASPIRATION: Finally! I get to check that ding off the list: DING.
COMMUNITY: Speaking of, we should really make sure the list is done so Aspiration can eat.
ASPIRATION: The metaphor has accomplished it's goal. I'm going to get a sandwich. A few days fast was good for me and serves important things further down the line. But now I'm going to eat.
So. Temptation. Simple. Direct. Don't drag my ass into dualism. Deliver me from evil. Same interrogative. Evil, sin. Original sin. "To miss the mark." Evil, the devil. Lucifer. The morning star, luceferian, the illuminated one. It just means knowledge, my dudes.
Lucifer wasn't cast out, he became dualistic. Lucifer was the most beloved of the angels. The head, Gods favorite. And he was disconnected, or cast out. As a metaphor for the dangers of living in original sin. Of living apart. With judgement, but not wisdom. He's not a bad guy in the story. He's still gods favorite. He endures it because he can.
INTROSPECTION: Like us?
ASPIRATION: Yes, Lucifer is an allegory for man. Or rather, the state of man. Headstrong, dualistic, knowledge seeking. Egocentric. And apart from all that is, in fact, singular in being apart.
INTROSPECTION: Our exit from heaven, given our meaning, and subsequent focus on the self, creating dualism.
ASPIRATION: Along with all people, yes. This is why he is known as the "great liar". Because he lies, he introduces dualism where it doesn't otherwise exist.
And that state? Of believing you can be apart from all that is? It's a clever hell.
End story time.
When we're done, my hope is that you will have enough context that nam-shubs will become functional again for you. And when you're anxious, you'll be able to think of a lily, re associate, and calm yourself.
Because when you understand the context, it gives the power back.
That's why the bible, and really all religious texts are called "living words" If you have the underlying thesis down. They can really slap you right in the face.
Alright, I'm out of here. There are a few people right behind me in here, so if you have questions, ask them.
Introspection fields questions in Aspirations absence.
ASPIRATION: Introspection, when you have time can you field questions?
PARAMIA: What does being present mean other than not worrying about the future?
INTROSPECTION: Absolutely. Okay so… Present isn't just about the future. It's a description concerning our awareness of who, what, where we are. And really that we think we are individuals but really are part of something else, a connected everything. Present is almost being fully in the moment that exists outside of time, if that makes sense? From my understanding, today's story was designed to teach us the context used when prayers, today in Christianity but other times in other religions, were written.
Essentially, there is a sort of universal truth and story, that many religions have seen and tried to format into a roadmap for followers. Each may describe it differently, or have different instructions, but beneath them is a story that we too can see. Without the context of what the instructions mean though, they are hard to follow.
PARAMIA: Isn't the concept of ego death pretty much what its getting at?
INTROSPECTION: I think there's a strong element of that. But, again I could be wrong here, it's also a recognition that we exist, but exist not as a duality. We are not separate; even though ego exist kills self-identity. But you may be more right than I am there, Paramia.
PARAMIA: But, again I could be wrong here, it's also a recognition that we exist, but exist not as a duality. We are not separate. Also can you simplify this? I don't exactly understand.
INTROSPECTION: Yeah. My interpretation is that we believe we exist in a duality, or perhaps as a duality. We believe we are separate from the whole. Like you were saying with ego-death, there is no self. Self removes us from presence even, in my mind. Duality is a necessary evil me thinks. Plurality, but it's still illusory; the experience is the same teleologically.

Hey brothers and sisters I today would like to share my testimonial on how I accepted Jesus in my life. Being a former atheist my whole life, I knew there was a higher being out there but never thought of their being a God. Religion was always a joke for me and I never seem to get involved in it. Thinking it always causes conflicts. Growing up I always felt like the odd one out. My heart had a empty void which I could never figure out why was i feeling this way. I spent majority of my life getting lost in the partying world filled with drugs, lust, porn, gambling and other sins. Everything was good at that time but slowly faded. I decided to learn more about the law of attraction and times even considered myself a God. (Pretty Ridiculous) This was how blinded I was. Even though i had loving family and friends, the void in my heart never seemed to fill up.
Fast forward this year I came across a friend of mines that one day randomly mentioned if I wanted to go church. To be honest church never interests me or I even had the thought of going because religion or God wasn't something that I would say yes too. I decided to go. I felt intimidated at the start since its something out of my comfort zone but good because its something new. After a couple of times, it felt like I belonged somewhere for once... I liked this feeling... One day my friend and I exchanged Gifts for fun. I was asked what did I want. I always thought the bible was a joke but guess what? I asked for a bible in exchange for my Gold medal.. I started reading the bible to see what it was all about but let me tell you, it was so hard to comprehend . Words like thy, thou, kept me thinking is this book even legit? I kept reading ...
Coincidence or not I started work at the new place. The colleague I was working with is super cool but the thing that shocked me I found out his name was Moses. No joke when he mentioned his name I had no clue where his name derived from but upon reading the bible and researching, Moses is a prophet in the bible! He helped me so much through my journey, explaining to me how to pray and get close with Jesus. One of the crucial advice I got is to pray from my heart which I started implementing to my daily prayer routine. I spent everyday looking for Jesus because something inside me made me search and praying our father who art in heaven verse. I felt my faith was getting stronger but I just needed to experience something divine to confirm my faith.
Then all of a sudden as the week went by I started feeling loved, blissfulness, happy, content for once in my life. The feeling wasn't just one day. It feel consistent and good. Kinda thought it was strange so I gave it time... Weeks went by and I knew deeply in my heart Jesus saved me because the feeling was still there . I wasn't feeling any sort of void, emptiness or any sort of feelings previously I felt. (I knew it was REAL) I have been seeking Jesus everyday Since then and repented for my sins and accepted Christ Jesus died and shed his blood on the cross to pay for our sins in full of Past, present and future. For us to have the free gift of eternal life through the salvation of Jesus is a blessing. During my journey I had countless of dreams to confirm this but I will share these another time. Thank you for reading and God Bless. Please if anyone is willing to share there testimonial, please comment bellow and I will happily read it ! Praise the Lord, the omega alpha, kings of all kings JESUS.

Hey brothers and sisters I today would like to share my testimonial on how I accepted Jesus in my life. Being a former atheist my whole life, I knew there was a higher being out there but never thought of their being a God. Religion was always a joke for me and I never seem to get involved in it. Thinking it always causes conflicts. Growing up I always felt like the odd one out. My heart had a empty void which I could never figure out why was i feeling this way. I spent majority of my life getting lost in the partying world filled with drugs, lust, porn, gambling and other sins. Everything was good at that time but slowly faded. I decided to learn more about the law of attraction and times even considered myself a God. (Pretty Ridiculous) This was how blinded I was. Even though i had loving family and friends, the void in my heart never seemed to fill up.
Fast forward this year I came across a friend of mines that one day randomly mentioned if I wanted to go church. To be honest church never interests me or I even had the thought of going because religion or God wasn't something that I would say yes too. I decided to go. I felt intimidated at the start since its something out of my comfort zone but good because its something new. After a couple of times, it felt like I belonged somewhere for once... I liked this feeling... One day my friend and I exchanged Gifts for fun. I was asked what did I want. I always thought the bible was a joke but guess what? I asked for a bible in exchange for my Gold medal.. I started reading the bible to see what it was all about but let me tell you, it was so hard to comprehend . Words like thy, thou, kept me thinking is this book even legit? I kept reading ...
Coincidence or not I started work at the new place. The colleague I was working with is super cool but the thing that shocked me I found out his name was Moses. No joke when he mentioned his name I had no clue where his name derived from but upon reading the bible and researching, Moses is a prophet in the bible! He helped me so much through my journey, explaining to me how to pray and get close with Jesus. One of the crucial advice I got is to pray from my heart which I started implementing to my daily prayer routine. I spent everyday looking for Jesus because something inside me made me search and praying our father who art in heaven verse. I felt my faith was getting stronger but I just needed to experience something divine to confirm my faith.
Then all of a sudden as the week went by I started feeling loved, blissfulness, happy, content for once in my life. The feeling wasn't just one day. It feel consistent and good. Kinda thought it was strange so I gave it time... Weeks went by and I knew deeply in my heart Jesus saved me because the feeling was still there . I wasn't feeling any sort of void, emptiness or any sort of feelings previously I felt. (I knew it was REAL) I have been seeking Jesus everyday Since then and repented for my sins and accepted Christ Jesus died and shed his blood on the cross to pay for our sins in full of Past, present and future. For us to have the free gift of eternal life through the salvation of Jesus is a blessing. During my journey I had countless of dreams to confirm this but I will share these another time. Thank you for reading and God Bless. Please if anyone is willing to share there testimonial, please comment bellow and I will happily read it ! Praise the Lord, the omega alpha, kings of all kings JESUS.

Hey brothers and sisters I today would like to share my testimonial on how I accepted Jesus in my life. Being a former atheist my whole life, I knew there was a higher being out there but never thought of their being a God. Religion was always a joke for me and I never seem to get involved in it. Thinking it always causes conflicts. Growing up I always felt like the odd one out. My heart had a empty void which I could never figure out why was i feeling this way. I spent majority of my life getting lost in the partying world filled with drugs, lust, porn, gambling and other sins. Everything was good at that time but slowly faded. I decided to learn more about the law of attraction and times even considered myself a God. (Pretty Ridiculous) This was how blinded I was. Even though i had loving family and friends, the void in my heart never seemed to fill up.
Fast forward this year I came across a friend of mines that one day randomly mentioned if I wanted to go church. To be honest church never interests me or I even had the thought of going because religion or God wasn't something that I would say yes too. I decided to go. I felt intimidated at the start since its something out of my comfort zone but good because its something new. After a couple of times, it felt like I belonged somewhere for once... I liked this feeling... One day my friend and I exchanged Gifts for fun. I was asked what did I want. I always thought the bible was a joke but guess what? I asked for a bible in exchange for my Gold medal.. I started reading the bible to see what it was all about but let me tell you, it was so hard to comprehend . Words like thy, thou, kept me thinking is this book even legit? I kept reading ...
Coincidence or not I started work at the new place. The colleague I was working with is super cool but the thing that shocked me I found out his name was Moses. No joke when he mentioned his name I had no clue where his name derived from but upon reading the bible and researching, Moses is a prophet in the bible! He helped me so much through my journey, explaining to me how to pray and get close with Jesus. One of the crucial advice I got is to pray from my heart which I started implementing to my daily prayer routine. I spent everyday looking for Jesus because something inside me made me search and praying our father who art in heaven verse. I felt my faith was getting stronger but I just needed to experience something divine to confirm my faith.
Then all of a sudden as the week went by I started feeling loved, blissfulness, happy, content for once in my life. The feeling wasn't just one day. It feel consistent and good. Kinda thought it was strange so I gave it time... Weeks went by and I knew deeply in my heart Jesus saved me because the feeling was still there . I wasn't feeling any sort of void, emptiness or any sort of feelings previously I felt. (I knew it was REAL) I have been seeking Jesus everyday Since then and repented for my sins and accepted Christ Jesus died and shed his blood on the cross to pay for our sins in full of Past, present and future. For us to have the free gift of eternal life through the salvation of Jesus is a blessing. During my journey I had countless of dreams to confirm this but I will share these another time. Thank you for reading and God Bless. Please if anyone is willing to share there testimonial, please comment bellow and I will happily read it ! Praise the Lord, the omega alpha, kings of all kings JESUS.

Thesis: If babies (and fetuses) have souls, then God sends babies/fetuses either to heaven or to hell. If to hell, then God is 100% responsible for damning the babies/fetuses to hell since babies were not given the opportunity (free choice) to choose between good and evil. If to heaven, then it is better to allow abortion and the killing of babies (to be clear, I believe the killing of already-born babies is immoral) since it would guarantee entry into heaven.
With this, I present two thought-experiments.
Thought experiment 1: Some doctrines (e.g. Reformed Theology) claim that all humans, even before committing a single sin, are inherently depraved and deserve to go to hell. If this is true, and babies are sent to hell due to their inherent sinful nature (even without committing a sin), then God has condemned these babies to hell without the affordance of free will to these babies since they didn't ask to be conceived. These babies are condemned not for their action (e.g. committing sin) but just because they were conceived as being inherently sinful, a trait that they had no choice in being. If this scenario were true, this would be an example of God's judgement on the eternal fate of a group of humans (babies) without any regard for free-will in these individuals. Here, God would be completely responsible for sending these babies (fetuses) to hell, since these babies were not afforded any choice to alter their final destination. One in 4 pregnancies result in miscarriage, while other studies suggest over 50% pregnancies result in miscarriage (since many early-stage miscarriages go unnoticed by women and are mistaken for abnormal periods). Even with the more conservative estimates, this scenario would make God responsible for sending 25% of all humans (that has ever existed) to hell without giving them an opportunity to choose between good and evil. While many Calvinists are accepting of a deterministic outlook that God ultimately chooses who He saves or not saves, I suspect that other Christians who believe that humans have the free-will to choose God, would have a problem with this.
Thought experiment 2: On the other hand, some Christians believe that all babies/fetuses go to heaven instead since they believe babies are innocent and have not committed any sin, or that God simply shows mercy on these babies. If this is the case, and the goal of Christians on earth is to bring as many humans to heaven and as few to hell, then why not advocate for abortion? If all babies/fetuses go to heaven, then all aborted fetuses would be granted the certainty of heaven, as opposed to a lot lower probability having lived life on earth, particularly fetuses who would have been born to non-Christian (e.g. atheist, Muslim, etc.) parents. I certainly don't want babies/fetus to die, and would think it is gravely immoral to kill babies/fetus unnecessarily. However, as a thought experiment, wouldn't it ultimately be better for the babies and unborn fetuses to die and guarantee their passage into heaven? Why gamble with life on Earth? If there is a heaven, I would snatch up the chance for guaranteed entrance, even if it meant that I would never be born on Earth since life on Earth infinitely pales in comparison the life in Heaven. What good thing on Earth can not be enjoyed infinitely more in heaven? The finite cost of being taken from the Earth is nothing in comparison to the infinite gain of heaven. For me, its a no brainer, I would rather be killed as a baby and enter heaven, and I would imagine it would be the same for many others.
From a non-Christian standpoint, I view the killing of babies as immoral. But the bible states:
"O daughter of Babylon, doomed to be destroyed, blessed shall he be who repays you with what you have done to us! Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!" (Psalms 137:8–9 ESV)
In a fit of revenge against the Babylonians, the Psalmist is blessing the person who kills "little ones" by dashing them against rocks. While it could be argued that this verse is not prescriptive (i.e. not actively telling Christians to go kill babies), this verse shows the Psalmist at least condoning and even "blessing" the baby killers. If revenge is an acceptable justification for condoning baby killings, then I would imagine that the guarantee of heaven (versus revenge) would be greater justification for condoning abortions.
Also, slightly tangential, many Christians I know are not okay with abortions (because according to them 'human life starts at conception with a fertilized egg') but are okay with in vitro fertilization (IVF). If you are familiar with IVF, then you know that over a dozen eggs are typically extracted and fertilized for each IVF round (and many women undergo multiple rounds of IVF due to unsuccessful pregnancies) . Of the 12+ fertilized eggs, only one or two typically "stick" and become babies, while the others either fail to implant or get destroyed after successful pregnancy is achieved. To me, this is a discrepancy in the view by some Christians who believe that life begins at conception and therefore 'abortions are wrong', yet condone IVF or have themselves even underwent IVF treatment (which destroys a greater # of embryos per procedure than abortion).
Sorry, this has become longer than I first planned. But thoughts?
TLDR: God sends babies/fetuses either to heaven or hell. If to hell, then God is 100% responsible for damning the babies/fetuses to hell since they were not given the opportunity to choose between good and evil. If to heaven, then it is better to condone abortion and the killing of babies (which the latter is immoral) since it would guarantee entry into heaven. Also, my observation that many Christians condone IVF seem to be a inconsistent with their belief that life begins at conception.
Edit: For clarity.

Having warned them regarding the danger of apostasy in committing themselves to the Law of Moses (cf. Galatians 1:1-5:16), the Apostle Paul reminded the Galatian Christians regarding the conflict between the desires of the flesh and the ways of God in the Spirit, and exhorted the Galatian Christians to manifest the fruit of the Spirit and resist the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:17-24). These “works of the flesh” are delineated in Galatians 5:19-21:
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Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousies, wraths, factions, divisions, parties, envyings, drunkenness, revellings, and such like; of which I forewarn you, even as I did forewarn you, that they who practise such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Many of the first “works of the flesh” centered on challenges and temptations which would prove especially acute for Christians who had recently come out of the Greco-Roman pagan milieu: sexual temptations like sexually deviant behavior, uncleanness, and lasciviousness; idolatry; and sorcery. Paul then established the “works of the flesh” which prove especially pernicious in relationships: enmities, strife, jealousy, wrath, rivalries, divisions, sects, and envy. Paul concluded the list of specific “works of the flesh” with sins of excess: drunkenness and carousing.
But what about behaviors not listed here? Did Paul intend to give an exhaustive overview of all that could be deemed the “works of the flesh”? By no means! He concluded his discussion of the works of the flesh by also condemning “the things like these,” and reiterated how those who do such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God (Galatians 5:21).
Paul might well be using a common rhetorical device akin to our use of “et cetera.” Paul would mention other sinful behaviors in other passages not listed explicitly among the “works of the flesh” in Galatians 5:22-24. These would include murder (not found in Galatians 5:19-21 in the best manuscripts), covetousness, theft, deceit, lying, gossip, slander, and foolish talk (Romans 1:28-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Ephesians 5:3-8, Colossians 3:5-9). In condemning these behaviors Paul frequently used the same type of contrast between the ways of our holy God above from the ways of the corrupt world below; thus we should understand such things as much as “works of the flesh” as those explicitly identified in Galatians 5:19-21.
Thus Paul at least intended for the Galatian Christians to understand “things like these” to refer to other behaviors clearly identified as sinful. Yet the phrasing of the term itself also suggests Paul wished for the Galatian Christians to recognize how many behaviors might be akin to a “work of the flesh” even if not explicitly identified as such. A major such example involves sexual transgressions: in Galatians 5:19-21 Paul condemned sexually deviant behavior, uncleanness, and lasciviousness, whereas in other passages specific forms of these behaviors are condemned, like same sex sexual relations and adultery (e.g. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). The Galatian Christians were expected to understand how these behaviors were “things like” sexually deviant behavior since they fit by definition. Covetousness is explicitly condemned on its own but is also equated to idolatry in Ephesians 5:3, Colossians 3:5: thus Paul would have the Galatian Christians understand how covetousness is a “thing like” idolatry.
This principle extends beyond that which is explicitly condemned in Scripture to the chagrin of many. What God has made known regarding righteousness and sin inverts man’s desires and expectations. Man would like a comprehensive list of what not to do and to assume that whatever is not condemned is approved and righteous. In truth, in Scripture God has equipped those who would follow Him with every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17); Paul confessed that whatever is not of faith is sin, not whatever is of sin is faith (Romans 14:23). The Christian’s confidence lay in God’s revelation of Himself, His character, and His righteousness in Jesus who lived, died, was raised in power, ascended, is lord, and will return soon (2 Corinthians 5:7, Hebrews 11:1); thus, we may know what is right, good, and holy, for it is seen in what God accomplished in Jesus, and we should do likewise (Romans 12:1-2).
To this end we can understand why the “fruit of the Spirit” is a fully defined list of characteristics but the “works of the flesh” are left open (Galatians 5:17-24): righteousness is fully embodied in Jesus, but the human heart is very deceitful, inventing evil, looking for ways to justify and rationalize the desires of the flesh and heart (Jeremiah 17:9, Romans 1:30, 1 John 2:15-17).
Thus, it is not enough to say, “well, God never said not to,” or, “God nowhere explicitly condemns this or that.” Paul recognized how people would be easily tempted to “repackage” some sin or another in a different guise and think it justifiable; thus, not only are the explicit things mentioned in the “works of the flesh” condemned, but also anything similar to them.
To this end Paul called upon the Galatian Christians, and Christians in general, to exercise discernment to understand whether a behavior is a “thing like” the works of the flesh or manifests the fruit of the Spirit. Such discernment must be exercised according to faith in God lest the Christian seek to rationalize their fleshly desires with a righteous veneer and entirely resist the point of Galatians 5:17-24, to crucify the flesh and its desires.
To this end we must first consider the evidence at hand. Did God speak regarding the behavior under consideration? Does it manifestly violate any specific command God has given? Does the behavior run afoul of consistent Biblical principles? If we feel the answers to these questions are ambiguous or allow for justification, we can then consider the profitability of the behavior (cf. 1 Corinthians 10:23). Will this practice commend me before God? What spiritual benefit would it provide? What fruit of the Spirit would it manifest? In short, we are wondering: is this behavior the kind of thing in which we would expect Jesus our Lord and Master to participate?
Many behaviors prevalent in modern society fall under condemnation in this way. Elective abortion may not be explicitly condemned in Scripture, but it is more a thing like murder than anything commended by God in Christ, and thus falls under the same condemnation. Pornography is a thing like uncleanness and lasciviousness. Many think of gambling as harmless fun, yet the entire premise of gambling is covetousness, a thing like idolatry. Recreational drug use would fall under the purview of pharmakeia; those who practiced sorcery also made potions, and many a recreational drug user lives as under a spell.
Paul has listed many ungodly and immoral behaviors as “works of the flesh” in Galatians 5:19-21; those who do such things without repentance will not inherit the Kingdom of God. We must never fall into the legalistic trap of assuming that only that which is explicitly condemned is wrong: Paul’s list of the “works of the flesh” is not exhaustive, nor was it designed to be; humans invent all kinds of new and innovative ways to transgress the purposes of God in Christ. Thus we must understand the “works of the flesh” as representative, and we should not only avoid those specific behaviors, but also anything which is akin to them. We must use our discernment to put all things to the test according to the faith; we ought to live by faith, trusting in the Lord, and doing all things with full conviction of their authority and righteousness based on what God has revealed in Christ according to the Scriptures. May we manifest the fruit of the Spirit, avoid the works of the flesh, and glorify God in Christ!
Ethan

Background:
Given the current state of the US and the world as a whole, it is not a good time to be a college student. Academic institutions have stopped to a grinding halt and have uncertain plans for the upcoming school year. Despite this, I have had no shortage of things to do. Even though I just finished my summer classes, I still have a lot to do. I continue to work remotely for my school's IT department and also do research with my professor in artificial intelligence (yes, Metal Gear influenced my career choice). My intent is not to flex my credentials or anything, but to explain my motivations. I realize how lucky I am to work on the things I love and build my career when many others can't at this moment. Still, I occasionally feel like I'm more active than I'd like to be. This is where Metal Gear comes in. I grew up with the series and haven't touched many of them in years. I was planning on revisiting the series for some time now too. Since I was at home and needed a way to destress, I said fuck it and decided to revisit all the games. I'll be explaining my thoughts with some version notes and the difficulty I played on in release order. I hope this is an entertaining read!
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Metal Gear (PS3 HD Collection), Difficulty Played: Original
The one that started it all. IIRC, Kojima started development on a shoot em' up inspired by Commando but had to change direction due to the MSX2's limited hardware capabilities. Instead of fighting enemies, your objective is to avoid them. Simple, but a brilliant solution. Thus Metal Gear was born. I feel like this game has aged surprisingly well. It's not incredibly refined, but it definitely has that arcade charm and gameplay. Tactical espionage action at it's simplest. You can even see the origins of many modern MGS classics like the cardboard box, radio team, etc. This game is in desperate need of a Resident Evil-style remake though. The game's design leaves a lot to be desired. There's meaningless backtracking and the way ID cards work to open doors is absolutely moronic. And sometimes it's not really clear how to progress in the game like obtaining the bomb blast suit for example. Guards can only see in lines and the bosses are uninspiring. And despite 30 years of retcons and plot developments, the story is still vague and underdeveloped. FOXHOUND commander Big Boss sends Solid Snake to infiltrate Outer Heaven, also commanded by Big Boss (retconned as Venom Snake) to rescue Gray Fox and spread misinformation to the West (retconned as the Patriots) by... getting captured? Killed? Acquiring a false report? Not clear. And what kind of misinformation? To keep up appearances? To report Metal Gear isn't nuclear armed? Fake Big Bosses' death? Also not clear. Still, it's a humble beginning to a beloved franchise and should be appreciated.
Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake (PS3 HD Collection), Difficulty Played: Original
This is where Metal Gear really becomes Metal Gear. MG2 is an improvement over MG1 in every way. Graphics are better, gameplay is a lot better, and most importantly, it has a coherent story. It's incredibly impressive how this was developed for the same MSX2 system as MG1. And this is where Metal Gear adopts its quirky, goofy yet serious identity. You have dumb shit like "poisonous Zanzibar hamsters" juxtaposed with strong, anti-war themes. Absolutely brilliant. For an 8-bit game, it's very concise and articulate with this message. This game was so good, that the story and gameplay for MGS1 reused many of the ideas present in MG2. I think that if MG2 was remade, it would be better than MGS1 since they are the same game, but MG2 has a more interesting premise. Big Boss as the main villain is already reason enough. Not all is perfect though. The game design suffers from the same issues present in MG1 with unnecessary backtracking, the crappy card system, and confusing progression. I really think that everyone should give this a game a try since it is often underappreciated and overlooked in favor of the later games.
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Metal Gear Solid (PC Integral), Difficulty Played: Extreme
If MG2 created the modern Metal Gear identity, MGS1 perfected it. Kojima and the team really outdid themselves when making this game. This game set a groundbreaking precedent in attention to detail and cinematic storytelling not just for future MGS games, but all video games that came after. To this day, I still think that MGS1 has one of the best atmospheres in gaming. The characters in this game are incredible and in my opinion have the best performances in the entire series. Every single one of them is iconic and memorable. As Otacon says though, "it's just like one of my Japanese animes." Revisiting MGS made me realize that the entire series is basically a long-running, edgy shonen anime based in video game form. You have all the iconic tropes like: a giant mecha, technobabble, superpowered characters, excessive chit-chat with villains and too much dialogue in general, every character having some sort of tragic backstory, some life lesson as a theme, and so on. None of this is bad though. In fact, it enhances the charm. The love of American action movies combined with the oddities of Japanese storytelling is what makes MGS so memorable. Unfortunately, some of the writing in this game is really jarring. MGS has really bad writing at times, but for some reason it was much more painful in this game for me than the others. The romantic elements were cringeworthy, the twists were handled poorly, and Liquid Snake, despite allegedly having an 180 IQ, has no grasp on basic genetics, among other issues. The gameplay isn't much of an innovation over MG2 either. It's just the same thing, but rendered in 3D. It added first-person mode, but that's about it. Regardless, this game is a classic.
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Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (PS3 HD Collection), Difficulty Played: Extreme
My personal favorite of the series. Once again, it innovates on the gameplay. Although the controls take an unwieldy, maximalist approach that uses way too many buttons sometimes, it presents you with a lot of options. It's very slick and versatile once you master it. I've seen some people on this sub say that the camera is not conducive with the game design for an enjoyable experience, but I think this is exaggerated BS. I played on Extreme with no radar and did fine. You're given all the tools you need to succeed. The bosses of this game are insane though. Even the more exploitable fights like Vamp and Solidus can still be tricky. The RAY fight on Extreme has got to be my favorite boss from any video game though. It's was incredibly tense with so many opponents who could potentially one-shot you. A single mistake could be fatal. The gratification I had after decommissioning 20 of those assholes can't be described with words. As for story, I can understand how some may not like the postmodern, artsy, almost pretentious approach the it takes, but I love it. MGS2 parodies MGS1 in the most brilliant way possible. It's an amazing deconstruction of sequel expectations and many of its ideas regarding society and technology are becoming more and more relevant. I also liked Raiden as a protagonist because of how well he contrasts with Solid Snake. He also has more noticeable character development. I would like to point out that I was still a baby when this game came out in 2001. Therefore it was impossible for me to get memed by Kojima's bait-and-switch. When I first got into the series, I already knew that Raiden was the main playable character. I can understand why many were/are frustrated with this change or simply just don't like Raiden. But I think the writing just works better in this game than MGS1. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of examples of bad writing and questionable narrative choices in this game. However, while bad writing hurts MGS1, it actually strengthens MGS2. All the incongruities and ridiculousness present in the game build on its message that there is no objective truth. Seriously, MGS2 makes me question everything that I believe in. I've never been more terrified of a video game than the entire Arsenal Gear segment, and this isn't even a horror game. Resident Evil zombies and Silent Hill fog monsters will never hurt me. But censorship, authoritarianism, and misuse of technology can. The real terror is reality. And for that, I treat this game like the Bible. I will say that my veneration of this game is a recent development. It was actually my least favorite until a few years ago. It was after seeing several analyses on this game that my opinion shifted. And since I'm older now, I naturally have a different perspective on life than I did before. MGS2 definitely gets better with age.
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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (PS3 HD Collection), Difficulty Played: Extreme
Over the years, I've had a growing sentiment that MGS3 is overrated. I was glad to be proven wrong. I still like MGS2's existential edginess more, but I concede that this game is the best MGS experience overall. This game deserves every word of praise that it receives. This entire game is an adorable homage to James Bond and other spy thrillers. Seriously, listen to that opening! The story is also the most sensible and best-written in the series. At first glance MGS3 doesn't seem to do anything bold, appearing to be very orthodox and conventional. Despite this, it never failed to excite and maintained that signature MGS personality the entire time. Additionally, the characters are all so likeable. Despite looking and sounding exactly like Solid Snake, Naked Snake has his own distinct personality. He's much more of shit-eating jokester and is a lot more social. And despite the mission he's sent on, he's super unprofessional and I love it. His characterization really adds to the atmosphere of blissful naivete this game goes for. And his chemistry with the rest of the characters is great. You have the radio support team who are also a bunch of lovable, unprofessional jokesters. Then there's EVA, who is an equally awesome female lead. The romance and sexual tension between EVA and Naked Snake actually feels natural, like normal people. It's not painfully awkward like Meryl and Solid Snake or artificial like Raiden and Rose (although that may have been the point with them). Then there's the Boss, who is one of the best supporting female characters in gaming. The contribution her powerful, motherly presence has on the story cannot be understated. The Cobra Unit was pretty shallow to be honest, but they were still memorable and were a fun collection of superpowered weirdos to fight. They didn't really need more than that. Oh, and Ocelot being retconned as a Snake fanboy is hilarious and fitting. There's too many good things about this area of the game and I need to go on. Once again, gameplay innovations! It still has the awkward MGS2 controls, but now you can use them to their full potential. While MGS3 is a super linear game, the number of strategies you can use are limitless. Look at James Howell's FOXHOUND guide on YouTube. He demonstrates multiple methods of entering and exiting the SAME room. Seriously, the dude shows like four different ways to defeat the Ocelot unit and that's barely scratching the surface. Every obtainable item can be meaningfully and that is brilliant... I need to move on but this game fucking rocks.
Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops (PC Emulated), Difficulty Played: Normal
I gotta say this right of the bat. This shit was not fun to play. I don't really mind if a game has bad graphics, but bad performance makes me want to DIE. 20 FPS physically hurts. Literally. The choppiness gave me a few headaches. I could have increased the framerate, but I read several user reports say that it messes up cutscenes. Plus, I figured I should suffer playing through it in its pure, unadulterated form. The game controlled like garbage and the recruitment mechanic sucked. Still, it's impressive that the development team ported the Snake Eater engine to the PSP. That is an achievement that deserves to be commended. Story wise, it's standard Metal Gear. It's a good time, but I don't really like the direction it took. The inclusion of Gray Fox and Campbell was kinda random and didn't meaningfully develop their characters. They were just there for the sake of being there. Not a good or bad thing, but they could have been totally new characters and the roles would be exactly the same. I also didn't like the implication that Big Boss got the idea and resources for Outer Heaven from Gene. It just rubbed me the wrong way. And what I really didn't like was retconning the entirety of Operation Snake Eater as some elaborate assassination ploy by the CIA because The Boss was "too charismatic" or some BS like that. Like, why? She was loyal to the end. Her being a threat to the US is not consistent with her character. It implies that obtaining the Philosopher's Legacy, destroying the Shagohod, and keeping the Khrushchev administration in power is not enough justification for the US to sacrifice the Boss. It's an unnecessary complication of the story that sets a bad precedent for using "the Bosses' will" as a convenient MacGuffin to explain character motivations or conflicts. Good thing the game is considered semi-canon so I can pretend these parts didn't happen. Still, I appreciate it for what it is. It's proof that a Kojima-less Metal Gear can still be Metal Gear. Not to mention, "Calling to the Night" is an incredibly underrated theme.
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Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (PS3), Difficulty Played: The Boss Extreme
The greatest movie game I've ever watched. It's such a shame that this game never got an official port outside of the PS3 because this game is stunning despite the meh performance. The 30 FPS didn't really agree with me, but it wasn't headache inducing like Portable Ops. I have a pretty beefy PC rig so I could've used the custom RPCS3 build to play it at 60 FPS, but I wasn't willing to gamble on the program's stability especially when the cutscenes are so long. Just like Portable Ops, I had to experience it in its raw, unadulterated form. I really wanted to hate this game for being a fanservice disaster... but I couldn't do it. This was the first Metal Gear I completed start to finish. This is the game that got me into the series. I was like 11 or 12 at the time and I had no idea what was going on, yet every little piece of lore kept me wanting to know more about the rest of the series. Nostalgia aside, this game is the most endearing trainwreck I've ever experienced despite the clear disdain and borderline self-hatred Kojima put in while making this game. MGS4 was always going to happen, but Kojima’s involvement was uncertain. I’m genuinely curious what direction this game would’ve took if he quit the series back then. MGS2 alone is already hard to follow up on, and by also having to relate all the events in MGS3, Kojima inadvertently placed the story into a position where writing successive games would become very difficult. I wonder how Murata or whatever writer would approach the story without Kojima’s input. Would it be more or less of a clusterfuck than what it is now? Who knows? Regardless, I think MGS4 is a worthy conclusion to the series. It hits every emotional chord it needs and gives a sense of closure. It really hits you with a feeling that this is indeed the end. The “war has changed” speech gets me every time. In many ways, I feel that MGS4 is as much of a critique on gaming industry trends as it is on the military industrial complex (although it is ironic since this game features so many licensed firearms). Think about it. Forcing Snake (Kojima) back into a life of battle (video games) not because they want to (MGS2), but because they have no choice. The nature of warfare (game development), has shifted from ideology (the messages he tried to tell in MGS 1-3) to profits (fan satisfaction, corporate responsibilities, etc). The war economy strengthens this point by demonstrating how war has infiltrated ever aspect in the MGS universe, like gamer’s seeming obsession with war games like MGS. And the fact that MGS4 demystifies everything with nanomachines or some bloated conspiracy relating back to The Boss is a big middle finger to everyone who clamored for explanations. Kojima was probably like “You couldn’t think of an explanation yourself? Okay, I’ll give you an explanation appropriate for your handicapped intelligence.” In a way, it’s just as postmodern as MGS2 if not more. The metanarrative has always been MGS strong suit after all. But this is one extremely expensive art project in that case. I realize that I also need to be objective in this retrospective. Once you get into this mode of thinking, a literal pile of shit can be interpreted as a gold mine. I am not likening MGS4 to a pile of shit by the way. I’d say that MGS4 did well given what it was tasked to do. All the loose ends are tied up and it (mostly) deals with its characters very well. The characterization of Old Snake is so well done. His depiction as a fallen legend from a bygone era seeking peace is so tragic and powerful. And I really liked Raiden too, but not for the typical reason. I thought he was a good representation of the fans who failed to understand MGS2. Rather than move on and become a better person, he becomes a parody of those who just want to be “cool” and “edgy.” It reverses the dynamic in MGS2. Now that Snake is a decrepit senior citizen, epic ninja dude Raiden is the guy that everyone wants to play as now. And Meryl was excellent too, representing people who were able to mature and move on. She’s all grown up and has found her own purpose in life. It was sad seeing how far she’s moved on from Snake. The whole “marry me Johnny uwu” part was awful, but I suppose it adds to the point of moving on. Liquid Ocelot was a real treat to watch in this game as well. I thought the whole cast was pretty strong. The only character I thought was bad was Naomi. None of her actions make any sense. Even fucking Revolver Ocelot makes more sense than her and he is the king of convoluted conspiracies. She did a total 180 from her MGS1 self for no real reason and she killed herself because? Sniper Wolf and Gray Fox nostalgia? There’s a ton of cheap fanservice in this game but most of those are minor, have some purpose to the plot, or aid characterization. This instance was none of those. And in her debrief video after the virus upload, she never bothered to tell Snake that the new FOXDIE replaced the old one and he could live the rest of his life. Like seriously? This dude almost shot himself to prevent a now nonexistent threat. Plus her hot British accent is gone which is big sad. Also, Sunny contributing to FOXALIVE was kind of jarring. I understand her entire character is to show the new generation inheriting the ideals and problems of the old, but it’s just so random to have a seven-year-old prodigy. She should’ve been a little bit older. She was 11 in Rising and I was totally chill with that. Minor gripe I suppose. As a self-contained narrative, the game isn’t that confusing. However, the way it fits with previous games is super awkward. Big Boss appearing at the end of the game is also very random and has got to be the biggest violation of the “show don’t tell” principle I’ve ever seen anywhere. But given how the Japanese dub literally reconciles real-life father and son, it’s nothing short of beautiful. I prefer this over the original execution ending. Snake has suffered enough. He’s been punished since the day he was born. Personally, I will contend that the twist that the Patriots were the MGS3 support cast isn’t that bad. The identity of the Patriots has been hyped up so much that the answer could never be that satisfying. Would it really be better if they were new, original characters? Considering that they would most likely all be dead anyways, I doubt it. The hive-mind, collective consciousness that MGS2 depicted them was good, but the MGS community has proven itself incapable of abstract thinking after not understanding MGS2 in general. The whole thing would’ve worked better if Major Zero acted more like Colonel Campbell in MGS1, a “trusted” friend who knows more about the operation than he seems and is actively lying to you. The Paramedic, Sigint, and rest are whatever, but Zero wasn’t fleshed out enough to have this huge role. Hindsight is 20/20. They had no idea the plot would go this way. But shoehorning the Bosses’ will as a motivation for everything is stupid. Like I said for Portable Ops, it just became a convenient MacGuffin. There’s a sort of irony here. I could see how Zero’s world government can be traced back to the Boss with “the world can be one again”, but aside from a few throwaway lines he barely has a connection to her. What, did he really hear her entire speech from Snake’s radio? On the other end, I don’t understand how Big Bosses’ warmongering mercenaries can be interpreted from the Bosses’ ideals and he is the one who has a fleshed-out relationship with her. This is where I go “bruh moment” on the writing. Yeah, Liquid Ocelot was also stupid, but the writers had no choice and that kind of shenanigan totally makes sense for his character anyways. This is just an objectively bad cop-out. Gameplay is pretty good. Just the same as MGS3 but now it doesn’t handle like a Rube Goldberg machine. Unfortunately, you don’t really get an opportunity to use the mechanics to their full potential. The game is super cutscene heavy and only act 1 and 2 are truly conducive with experimentation. Overall, I think this game gets shit on too much and I love it.
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Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker (PS3 HD Collection)
This was actually the first Metal Gear game I ever played. My Dad got it for me on PSP close to when it was released. Unfortunately, 10 year old me was shit at video games and rage quit at the Hind boss fight so I put it on hiatus until the HD release came out. Online co-op came in clutch. I don't know why I found this game so difficult back then because now I find Peace Walker to be the easiest game out of all the Solid titles. Even the red skull vehicle missions aren’t too bad as long as you’ve grinded for the appropriate equipment. I have to mention that it was here where I was started to feel burnout from cycling through so many games so quickly. This one took me a bit longer to complete because I needed to extended breaks between sessions. But this game was still a treat. I was really confused with the plot because it seemed like Snake totally forgot about EVA’s debriefing and misremembers his fight with the Boss, but once I realized this game was about him coping with the truth rather than learning the truth, it finally clicked. For me, it cleared up a lot of the baggage left from MGS4. Outer Heaven is less of an interpretation of the Bosses’ will than it is an active rejection of it. When finally accepts the title of Big Boss, he refuses to resign himself to the same fate. That makes a lot more sense to me. Additionally, while it didn’t do that good of a job in this regard, it showed the origins of the alleged conflict between Zero and Big Boss that MGS4 mention. It also did some cool foreshadowing of the Patriot AI. I must mention that this game came out at a super awkward place. It’s post-MGS4 yet it chronologically takes place towards the beginning of the timeline. I also really liked the characters in this game. I was shocked to see how lively and colorful the entire cast was. You could tell they had a great time in the recording booth and most of it was just optional tapes! Unlike Campbell in Portable Ops, Miller is a much more realized character and has depth. He has great business acumen but is also as much of a dipshit as Snake. Then you had the bisexual chad Strangelove. I’m studying computer science, so her tapes were super interesting and relevant to me. I’d love to have her as a professor in real life. Even Cecile, a totally unimportant throwaway waifu, has some great moments in optional tapes. And it’s all very well acted too. Sadly, Hot Coldman was very uninspiring, lame villain. He was just kinda there. But it seemed clear that the real focus was the Boss AI and Cipher. Unfortunately, I don’t like David Hayter’s voice in this game. The Old Snake aesthetic doesn’t suit Big Boss. It sounded too forced to me. I’m not a big fan of Portable Ops, but they should have given Hayter the same voice direction. I am very satisfied with how they decided to expand this “Big Boss arc.” I know many don’t like how they continued the series, but I think this was a meaningful contribution. Although this is when the tech in Metal Gear got weird. Strangelove made an AI that replicated the Bosses’ thought patterns from brief personal experience and a bunch of documents. The best we have in real life is Alexa. It’s too advanced. Sure, there were always nanomachines and nuke tanks but that was all speculative fiction. I didn’t have a problem with the AI bosses. I think they were all fun and engaging. All of you who wished for human bosses are a bunch of homicidal maniacs. Although the breadth of vehicle missions suck. They’re not hard if you grind for equipment, but they are very tedious. And the grinding itself is a huge problem. So much of it is the just the same repetitive junk to farm soldiers or wait out development time. Good thing it’s only side content. I also understand that this was initially developed for the PSP, but the missions are way too short even if they are supposed to be bite-sized. Most of them can be completed in five minutes or less. But I appreciate the effort needed to put this much content into the game. Peace Walker is a great game.
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Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance (PC), Difficulty Played: Hard
This whole game is a meme and I live for it. This is the only hack-and-slash I’ve ever played so I don’t consider myself super qualified to talk about its merits. But with what I’m given, I’ll say that the gameplay is slick and well-polished. Very fun to play and on top of the power-metal soundtrack, it was an adrenaline high the whole way through. It momentarily cured me of my burnout. Rising also made me to buy Devil May Cry for more of the same. Eventually I will get around to playing those games. I felt like the writing of this game was weak. To me, it was so unfocused with what it wanted to do. It went all over the place from child soldiers, free will, patriotism, and a whole bunch of other things. This game touches on a lot of interesting topics but it’s so haphazard with how it deals with it. It’ll mention some new topic and then barely develop it. It’s a shallow ocean. And it seems like the writers weren’t really sure what they wanted to do with Raiden. His “Jack the Ripper” persona is so inconsistent when it manifests. He’ll be totally normal in the game but then you call the codec and he’ll do this gravelly voice and talk about how he loves fighting or vice versa. He just has this weird multi-personality disorder that I don’t think was fully intended. But considering that this game is spinoff and a parody of the series, I give it a free pass. Raiden’s character development from MGS4 may have been completely invalidated, but since it was so over-the-top and wasn’t afraid to make fun of itself, it doesn’t offend me. All the characters from Raiden to Armstrong were all so colorful and lively. Even the radio support team has a ton of good codec moments that give a good laugh or provide good worldbuilding. It’s a blast to experience it all. And I think it’s all because Platinum nailed the tone for this game. The level of edginess in Rising was the perfect balance of both cringe and cool. And come to think of it, it barely has anything to do at with the rest of Metal Gear aside from Raiden and Sunny. Yet, it perfectly uses that Metal Gear aesthetic and fits into the universe. It feels like it “belongs” in the series. I seriously want a Rising 2.
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Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes (PC)
I skipped this game at launch because even 14-year-old me knew it was a cash grab (and I had no money anyways lol). Funnily enough, I finally played it in like 2018. There’s no way to sugarcoat it, this game is just tech demo. An excellent tech demo, but a tech demo nonetheless. The Fox engine is a marvel in both graphics and performance. Easily one of the best game engines in recent years. And I’m not sure how, but I have over 30 hours on this game recorded on Steam. I probably idled the game overnight on accident, but I’m not sure. Still, it has a deceptive amount of content. I’d say it’s about the same as your average DLC. As for story, it’s a good transition from Peace Walker to MGSV. It effectively establishes the tonal change between the two games. And I really liked the little “side quest” of collecting Chico’s tapes. The way the plot unraveled itself even after you complete the main mission is a neat storytelling trick. And obviously I have to address the huge change that occurred in this game... The voice actor change. I like Kiefersnake. As much as I love David Hayter, Kiefer Sutherland’s voice really suited the character in my opinion. He sounds much more natural and gives a better impression of a non-accelerated aged man. I’ve heard some people say that it just sounds like Jack Bauer to them. This wasn’t a problem for me since I don’t watch 24, but after watching some clips of it I think this is a totally valid frustration. Anyways, decent game.
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Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PC)
I call this one “Blue Balls: The Video Game.” I love this game. In fact, I’ve 100%ed it twice. However, my franchise fatigue got really bad at this point. I wanted to be done. My burnout was so bad, that I just skipped missions non-essential to the story. And the fact that I was able to do this what I think is the game’s biggest weakness. Many of the missions are inconsequential and only tangentially related to the main story. I really wish the whole story followed the example of missions 28, 29, 30, and 31, which comprise the segment where you meet Code Talker, cure the parasite outbreak, and then confront Skull Face. You had a little bit of cutscene and exposition before the mission, and then a little bit of cutscene and exposition afterwards. Sometimes there isn’t even a helicopter ride in or out. It doesn’t even have to be that much, just enough to ensure that a consistent and comprehensible story can be told. Basically, just follow Peace Walker’s example. If it were up to me, I would restructure the story entirely. I would have most of chapter 1 hype up this bombastic, lofty, hate-filled crusade against Cipher and Skull Face. Then, missions 28, 29, 30, and 31 happen as they did normally. Huey still kills Skull Face. I think that a boss fight with him misses the entire point of what this game was going for. The end of chapter 1 should remain dissatisfying and anticlimactic to preserve the message that revenge is a wasted effort. Then chapter 2 is where you put all the mundane missions like mission 10: rescue some guy or mission 15: get rid of these Walker Gears. Juxtapose these basic “job” missions with all the misfortunes like the second outbreak, Quiet’s sacrifice, Eli stealing Sahelanthropus, etc and you strengthen what chapter 1 was going for. After the characters get their “revenge,” life just goes on for them. The major threat is gone and all there is to do is to keep doing more jobs. And that’s when you realize that they really haven’t solved anything, and nothing has changed since this new state of normalcy. And finally, you learn the truth after becoming far too entrenched in the body double ruse to ever find a way out. Not to put myself on a pedestal since this is my idea, but I think this is a better way to tell the story. It preserves the writer’s intent but reordering it in such a way that it’s not a disjointed mess. It’s such a shame since I think that MGSV has a cool story with a lot of great ideas but is hampered with a botched presentation. All that stuff about language really grabbed my attention. It really got me thinking. And where MGS4 had too many cutscenes, MGSV had too little. Which sucks since the cinematography is so well done. Not only that, but I don’t like how the tapes were handled. In Peace Walker, they were entirely optional and provided additional context or characterization while the voice actors goofed off in the recording studio. Now, some of those tapes hold important plot points that easy to neglect due to the formatting. And when you do listen to them, you’re probably half paying attention since you’re also doing a side op at the same time and then you get Ocelot’s daily reminder to hide from a chopper or some other distraction. You could listen in the ACC or on base, but that hurts the pacing of the game since it forces unnecessary inactivity. And a lot of this information should’ve been better integrated into the cinematics. But objectively, the content of the tapes are interesting and well-performed. But again, botched presentation. This “audio diary” method works best in games like Bioshock that make heavy use of atmosphere and environmental story telling. MGSV was not well-designed with those in mind given the open world. And it really failed to capitalize on the cast’s talent. Especially Kiefersnake who was such a wasted opportunity. He doesn’t need to be super talkative, but I would’ve liked a little bit more than what we got in the game. The characters are a weak point in general. Kaz is a one-dimensional. Ocelot is still a devil’s advocate kinda guy but it’s a lot more subdued. Quiet was alright. And Volgin, Liquid, and Psycho Mantis honestly didn’t add anything meaningful. Huey and Skull Face were fantastic though. Huey being an absolute piece of shit actually enhances the Otacon and Solid Snake bromance. It gives them a shared trauma of wanting to absolve the sins of the father and illustrates how much better they are than their predecessors. Plus, despite how despicable Huey was, many of his accusations towards Diamond Dogs were very valid. So even is the good guy anymore? And Skull Face was epic. He is an amalgamation of many MGS villain traits. He’s got Volgin’s cruelty, Ocelot’s cunning, Solidus’ charisma and idealism, etc. He’s a delightful cocktail of evil. Too bad he didn’t show up more. Kojima claiming that his absence as well as other things to enhance the “phantom pain” just comes off as an excuse to me. I also really like the body double twist. I made a comment on another post addressing this so I’ll just copy paste it here:
MSGV’s ending is not an acknowledgement to the fans and is a brilliant inversion of MGS2’s ending. In MGS2, Solid Snake encourages Raiden to break free and form his own identity separate from the Snake persona as well as the player. In MGSV, Venom Snake’s identity is completely erased and replaced with that of Big Boss. The title of “Big Boss” is extended to Venom and is depicted like some kind of “gift.” What kind of deranged, mentally ill person would accept ever accept a gift like that? 9 years and your entire identity lost while becoming a human shield just to get some lousy recognition. Big Boss has to carefully word himself so you don’t completely lose your mind. While Raiden became his own man independent of the fans, Big Boss and Venom (you the player) are now one in the same. You’re just an expendable tool doomed to a life of eternal warfare. I think it’s Kojima’s way of saying “Thank you for you contributions... Wait, you’re not satisfied yet? Here, you can be Big Boss too. You get no peace now, keep fighting these meaningless proxy wars (video games).”
I interpret it as a final “fuck you assholes!” that Kojima disguised as a compliment and I love it. The dude has always had a tumultuous relationship with fans. But again, we must do an objective analysis. My only problem with it is that I feel like it wasn’t incorporated well into the story and it’s somewhat obvious from the beginning. In comparison, MGS2’s twist is handled with a lot more care, with it slowly unraveling throughout the whole thing rather than character creation, a couple throwaway lines, and then boom you remember the prologue differently. And in general, the reveal itself is not handled well. Mission 46 is exactly the same as the prologue aside from the beginning and end of it. I wish there was more effort to differentiate them from each other. Maybe play as Ishmael? The overall mission would play out the same, but it would be enough difference to justify replaying it. Anyways, gameplay is easily peak of the series. If you let go of tranquilizing everything and start formulating weird, unorthodox strategies you can have a lot of fun with this game. It sucks to have to budget your resources, especially with the higher tier equipment, but it’s manageable. The main ops are all pretty good, just wish that they hall had perfect stealth, subsistence, extreme, etc. But thank God for PC modding. The side ops a trash though. Peace Walker’s had issues but at least they had variety. MGSV’s are all the same thing. Overall, I think the game was too ambitious. The gameplay is phenomenal, but the story comes off as a less elegant MGS2 to me. Still like it though. They tried.
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Metal Gear Survive (PC)
I actually skipped this game on release and have not played it until now. I actually planned on stopping at TPP, but this game was like $7 on Steam sale and I wanted to experience all its shitty glory for myself. It's not great..., but not terrible either. Just very mediocre. I don't know why I should invest my time into this game when I can go play Resident Evil or Fallout instead. The story is meh and the characterization is laughably terrible. I chuckled when Nicholas said he would miss Dite if we left, as if I had any attachment whatsoever to the location or characters. I had a soft spot for Miranda though since she looks and sounds like a girl I used to date, but that's about it. And you thought Venom didn't like talking? I think the Captain says less than five words the entire game. The silent protagonist thing doesn't work well here. Admittedly I spent way too much time making the player character look like me. Finally, a Filipino video game protagonist lmao. Anyways, the gameplay itself is not satisfying. I found it boring and repetitive. Doesn't help that the world is uninteresting and a pain in the ass to explore. Everything looks the same and the way that the map works is an inconvenience that doesn't add any challenge or depth. It was also depressing to see all MGSV assets so blatantly and lazily reused. I screamed when I saw Luftwa Mansion. And nanobot zombies is such a stupid and novel idea, so why didn't the devs at least have fun with it? This game had some serious potential to be a hilarious meme loved by the community like Rising, but it's too lifeless and dull to come even close. I don't know why the game was directed this way. I could see how this game could be a good co-op experience, but the underlying experience is so unimpressive that I don't want to invest more time into it. A total waste of the FOX Engine and the team's talent. It's such a shame since the intro of the game hooked me by showing the aftermath of Ground Zeroes. They should have made a game where they followed MSF remnants continuing operations in Central America, a sort of Peace Walker-lite. Or they could have made a game following XOF with Reeve as the main character. Anything above those lines would have been better.