As usual, I welcome any and all constructive feedback you all might have to offer. I want to know what you're thinking and feeling as you read, (Good and bad) and if anything, in particular, caught your eye. All that being said, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!
https://imgur.com/gallery/Ci5a0GH
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Good news! Book 2 is now being worked on!
Next!>
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Of Men and Dragons, Chapter 57 (Book 1 finale)
A day after Lon'thul left for the village, S'haar and Em'brel sat waiting for news as Angela finished her latest scans of Jack. To begin her explanations, she zoomed in on an image of his leg. "Well, your bones have knitted together nicely. Your musculature has also properly reattached, though you could probably use some more physical therapy to restore your normal levels of strength...again... The nerves...are more or less shot, which will mess with your coordination, and you'll occasionally feel pain ranging from mild to severe without warning. You'll definitely want a walking cane of some kind."
The digital image of Jack's body zoomed out, and different parts were highlighted as Angela continued. "The minor fractures have all healed as well as they likely will, though you'll probably experience more aches and pains than you remember. Your pacemaker seems to be working correctly, and if you're within my range, I can even track it, or if necessary, adjust it. Finally, no matter how hard I scan, I can detect no physical evidence of brain damage."
Angela flew in close as if looking his skull over personally, with a look of deep concern. "Though obviously there must be some damage. I'm fairly certain you never used to drool like that..."
Jack resisted the urge to fall for her obvious trap by checking and instead flung his hand through his sister's avatar. Or he would have if she hadn't dived out of the way, cackling at her little joke.
Em'brel ran forward and hugged Jack, pinning him awkwardly in place with one arm stretched out over her shoulder in a way it just hung there uselessly until she backed up. "That's great! You'll be out enjoying the warming weather in no time!"
Jack grinned at her. "Yeah, I'll need to stretch my legs out wandering around the camp, but I'm not sure I'll be much good for heavy lifting again any time soon."
Angela, who was leisurely floating on her back just behind Em'brel, cut in with a self-satisfied grin. "I hate to break it to you, little bro, but you've never been much for heavy lifting on this planet. Even Em'brel can outperform you in that regard."
Jack was just about to launch back his retort when S'haar approached to speak her own mind, an odd look in her eyes. "So you're saying he's as healed as he's likely to get at this point?"
Angela nodded. "Yeah, he's back to being..."
She was cut off when S'haar reached out and grabbed Jack, pulling him into a short but intense kiss before letting him fall back into the chair. "After you left, you almost died not once, but twice. From now on, where you go, I go. This is not a debate!"
Jack was somewhat out of breath as he sat in place, blinking for a minute as he processed everything unspoken behind the kiss and words. Eventually, he nodded. "Yeah, I suppose that's fair."
He grinned stupidly and slapped his bad leg, only flinching a little in the process. "Besides, I doubt I could outrun you anymore anyway!"
S'haar's expression seemed to soften slightly, but the gleam in her eye only grew odder. "Good enough, I suppose. Now then, I think we need to rush you right into your physical therapy."
Angela looked a little confused. "Well, there's not really any rush, though, I suppose..."
Once more, the AI was cut off by S'haar's unexpected movement as she reached down, grabbed Jack, and threw him over her shoulder like a sack of flour.
She then looked over at the youngest woman in the room, her voice sounding oddly maternal. "Em'brel, darling, you might want to go outside and get started on your martial practice with Ger'ron. Jack and I are going to be busy for a little while."
The look on Em'brels face said she wasn't fooled for a moment but was willing to play along for the sake of avoiding an awkward conversation. She nodded emphatically. "Uh, yea...yes...um, yes... That...that sounds like a great idea! I think he was planning on a long training session today, so I'll be gone a while. So...uh....yeah...bye!"
With that, the girl fled out of the room, grabbing the confused old soldier from the living room and practically shoving him out of the ship.
S'haar also spared a glance for Angela, whose digital face was now thoroughly red, though she was sporting an odd grin as though this was all some weird joke only the AI could appreciate. "You may want to turn down your sensors, or stop listening, or do whatever you need to do."
The warrior women didn't wait for a response. She exited the med-bay and carried Jack into his room, which at some point had apparently become "their" room. Jack's face clearly expressed that although his participation may no longer be optional, he wasn't particularly unwilling either.
-
Em'brel was exhausted. First, the old sadist had made her do the same maneuver with a sword one hundred times, saying something about building muscle memory. It had seemed so easy at first, but long before she finished, her arms and back had been screaming in pain.
Next, he'd had her run laps around the camp. He said something about how in an equal fight, the person with better stamina would usually be the one to walk away. After a few laps, she'd collapsed on the ground, panting for breath.
The old guard hobbled over to her with his crutches. He stood over her, grinning as she struggled to catch her breath. "You're doing well. Much better than the first day! Now that you've got the warm-ups out of the way let's get started on some real training!"
Em'brel debated the merits of simply dying right then and there. Ultimately she sighed and dragged herself to her feet before launching into the next series of exercises the vicious older man laid out for her.
-
After a couple of hours, Em'brel had pushed herself as far as she was going to be able to for some time. Dragging her shaky limbs into the ship, she was at least glad to know she'd given the other occupants plenty of time to themselves.
Once she was through the door, it only took her a moment before she realized she'd apparently underestimated "human endurance" and quickly felt flush with embarrassment.
Angela appeared right in front of the poor girl. She looked toward the closed door from which the sounds emanated before turning her attention back to the TV on the wall. "Tell ya what, I think it's time we introduced you to one of the greatest wonders of human engineering. They're called 'noise-canceling headphones.'"
Em'brel nodded a bit too eagerly while Angela picked out a movie to watch, muttering something ambiguous about "round four."
When he walked in, Ger'ron merely looked toward the same door before shrugging and chuckling to himself. He said something about "hearing worse than that from his neighbors from time to time" and walked over to the fridge to see about getting himself some food.
-
A while later, Em'brel was just beginning to debate whether it was worth the risk of taking off her headphones to go get herself some food when Angela cut in over the movie. "I think it's safe now. They're finally taking a break."
The girl cautiously lifted her headphones away from her ear before sighing contentedly and removing them completely. Ger'ron was napping in the chair he and Fea'en were apparently going to have to fight over once the woodworker returned to the camp.
Em'brel had prepared herself a nice little spread when the door to the room opened, and S'haar exited.
As the woman crossed the room and entered the kitchen, she had an odd dazed smile on her lips and a bit of a glassy look in her eyes. She almost overlooked Em'brel until she practically bumped into the girl. S'haar apologized absentmindedly and continued to the fridge, preparing a surprising amount of food and beverages.
S'haar finally seemed to wake up enough to realize the attention she was attracting, looking from Em'brel to her platter and back again. With a surprisingly shy smile, she tried and think of a way to explain the situation. "Jack's...uh...resting. He's a bit worn out. I think he'll be resting the rest of the day, so I figured I'd get us both something to eat and drink."
It was Em'brels turn to smile, as the girl enjoyed S'haar's uncharacteristic awkwardness. Eventually, the older woman simply gave up explaining anything, shook her head, and escaped with the food platter back to the room.
Em'brel finished her own meal and had just cleaned up when familiar sounds started emanating from the room once again, indicating that S'haar may have overestimated Jack's exhaustion.
With a sigh, Em'brel shook her head as she reached for the noise-canceling headphones again.
-
Jack was looking at his new eyepatch. Angela had insisted on using a bit of fabrication to print out her own design.
It was made from a nice synthetic black leather that was resistant to damage by moisture or exposure. Turning it over, Jack could see the inside of the band had a cloth layer to help it rest more comfortably on the skin. On the patch itself, Angela had emblazoned the symbol of the camp in gold.
Angela was floating over his shoulder, practically giddy in anticipation of Jack's reaction. Unable to wait, she blurted out in excitement. "It's even machine washable!"
Jack couldn't help but laugh as he shook his head. Unwilling to wait any longer, he tried it on. Turning to S'haar, he smiled. "Well, what do you think?"
For her part, S'haar tilted her head as if thinking before nodding in appreciation. "You look good. It suits you."
Jack's grin widened. Em'brel approached with her hands held behind her back. Once she was close enough, she brought out the object she'd been hiding with a bit of a flustered flourish.
In her hands was a cane. It was black and gold to match Jack's eyepatch, though he suspected the gold was either thinly gilded or was some kind of fool's gold. However, the part that stood out the most was the handle. It seemed to be made out of a bone of some sort.
As Jack inspected it closer, Em'brel explained nervously. "I… it's made out of the horn of the kovaack that almost killed you. I thought… I thought…"
Jack smiled and set the cane aside to hug the younger woman. "Thank you very much. I think it's great! Every time I use it, I'll think of the time you fought too desperately to save my life."
Em'brel let out a breath she'd apparently been holding. "Oh, thank goodness, I was afraid it would bring back painful memories. Angela insisted you'd like it, but I was still worried!"
Jack smiled. As he held her at arm's length to meet Em'brel's eyes. "Not all my memories from that time are pleasant, but I try and focus on the good while learning from the bad. That's all we can do in life!"
Angela floated right between them, causing Jack to take a step back even though he knew she was insubstantial. She Gave Jack an appraising look, looking like some kind of librarian with glasses and her hair in a bun. Her chin rested on one hand, one finger thumb extended to opposite cheeks as she did so.
After a moment, she turned back to Em'brel. "Don't feel too sorry for him. I know my own brother well enough to know he happens to think he looks quite dashing with his new eyepatch and cane. I'm willing to bet he'll even want some kind of matching cloak or cape to go with them…"
Jack looked like he wanted to protest for a moment, then he shrugged instead. "Well, you did say I'd have more aches and pains than before. I figure, keeping myself nice and warm might help with that."
Angela laughed uproariously as she pointed at Jack. "I KNEW IT! I called it! You are such a nerd!"
Jack smiled at the good-natured ribbing. "Hey, it's not nerdy on this planet yet. If I have to live on a world that seems so determined to kill me day in and day out, the least I should be able to do is indulge in a few archaic fashion trends. Doubly so if they're practical as well!"
S'haar walked up behind Jack, wrapping him in one of those over the shoulder hugs he was starting to get used to. "Well, I'm not sure if the world is to blame with all the chances you've been giving it lately. You can only tempt fate so many times before it takes you up on your offer."
Jack briefly tried to fight the woman off, but she held on effortlessly as she continued. "However, regarding the way you look, I think I agree. You look cute with your eyepatch and cane!"
With a sudden surge of strength, Jack finally escaped from S'haar's captivity, though the look on S'haars face argued she'd allowed him to get away. Jack pointed an accusatory finger at her as he protested. "Of all the many adjectives you can use to describe me, cute is not one! I'll accept daring, dashing, roguish, mysterious, or any other of a plethora of descriptors other than 'cute'!"
S'haar reached out and grabbed his hand and forced it lower while also dragging Jack into a brief kiss before responding. "You're cute when you're flustered!"
Angela laughed uproariously, pretending to roll around on the "ground" at eye level as she did so. Em'brel had to hide her face behind her hands as she laughed. Even Ger'ron, sitting unobtrusively in his chair across the room, shared a chuckle at Jack's expense. The grin on S'haars face said she knew she'd won that exchange more clearly than any words could have.
Jack slumped his shoulders in defeat. "I can't get any respect, even in my own house!"
S'haar chuckled in response. "Oh hush now. You know you've earned plenty of respect from all of us...and before long, everyone else within several day's walking distance, if I'm not mistaken. Besides, I promise I'll make it up to you later…"
Em'brel and Angela looked at each other, their faces scrunched in exaggerated disgust. Angela was the first to respond. "I think I speak for both of us when I say… 'Ew, gross!'"
After a bit of laughter, Em'brel suddenly sniffed the air. "Oh, the stew!" Just like that, she was off to repair whatever damage had been done to the unattended pot while everyone else settled in for their meal.
-
After a filling dinner complimented by with plenty of laughter and jokes at one and others' expense, Angela addressed the table, her voice uncharacteristically solemn. First, she turned to their most recent guest. "Ger'ron, I apologize, but there's a matter I need to speak with just these three about…could I ask you…"
The older guard waved away her concern. "Say no more, Lady Angela. After a filling meal like that, I think I'll retire for the night. Em'brel, thank you for the food. As always, the meal was excellent. Now, if you all will excuse me, I'll leave the cleanup in each of your hands this evening."
With that, the old guard hobbled off to his improvised bedroom while the rest waited in confusion for Angela to continue.
Once the door to Ger'ron's room had closed, the AI began her explanation. "So as you all were escaping to make your way back here, my mobile transceiver got left behind."
Angela held up a hand to forestall any comments before they were made. "I know it wasn't a priority at the time, and I agree with you. It also put me in a position where I was free to overhear some of the confrontations between the town's guards and the raider camp's remnants. There are a few moments I've earmarked for your attention later, but while cleaning up and sorting through the various soundbites I've acquired, I came across one bit in particular that I think you all need to listen to because, quite frankly, I have no idea what to do with this information."
She then sat back and began to playback what sounded like a skirmish of some kind. The audio wasn't as clear as she'd like since this hadn't happened as close to the transceiver as Angela would have hoped, but the sounds of a life and death struggle were evident to anyone listening.
Jack's eyes grew wide, and he stared off into the distance as though seeing another time or place. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the arms of his chair. Angela considered shutting off the recording, but S'haar placed her hand over his, and after a moment, Jack closed his eyes and let out a breath he'd been holding before nodding and reponing his eyes again. This time his look was less panicked.
Eventually, the sounds of struggle ended, and after a moment of heavy breathing, a voice could be heard. It was B'arthon's. "Filthy raider, how dare you trespass into our lands! A quick death is better than you deserve!"
Another more panicked and pained voice responded, evidently the raider B'arthon was speaking to. "We did not trespass, young lord, I swear! We came by invitation! Your own father sent for us and paid us well!"
B'arthon's voice shouted out, drowning out any further comment the raider might have made. "LIAR! HOW DARE YOU BRING MY FATHER INTO THIS SIMPLY TO BUY YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE A FEW MEASLY SECONDS!"
That was followed by the soft sounds of impact, a surprised gasp, and finally, the sounds of a death gurgle. A sound Em'brel had heard before. She shuddered at the memory.
Everyone shared a look of surprise as Dek'thul's voice joined the conversation. "Lord B'arthon, you should know better than to listen to the lies of a raider. You know as well as I that your father puts the welfare of the village above all else. He would never invite raiders into our lands. Please, put any thought of this out of your mind."
With that, the recording ended, and Angela looked around expectantly, waiting to see everyone's reactions.
Em'brel looked frightened, S'haar angry, and Jack contemplative. S'haar was the first to react, standing and slamming her fist onto the table and making both Jack and Em'brel jump in startlement. "He can't get away with this! We must take this recording to the village and have the other village leaders listen to it! If enough of them agree, we can have the traitor exiled!"
It was Jack's turn to put a calming hand on S'haar's fist. "I'd agree with you, but there are a few issues with that. First, the raider could have been lying. We don't know. Second, why should your village leaders believe us? If we can make voices appear out of thin air, who's to say we couldn't fabricate what they say. Third, having heard it for himself, Dek'thul seems to be either fooled or complicit, without knowing which, we risk a lot by taking direct action."
S'haar looked frustrated. "Then what would you recommend? We sit idly by while the person who orchestrated this mess gets away with it?"
Jack held up his hands in a placating gesture as he spoke. "Now hear me out and decide for yourself. This actually doesn't change anything in our immediate future. Assuming Lord A'ngles is behind everything, which we still don't know, he can't move against us directly, or he already would have."
S'haar's eyes narrowed, but she waited with her arms crossed as Jack continued. "I think he's already pushed the limits of what he can do at this time. To avoid attracting attention, he'll have to play nice for a while until everything has calmed down. What's more, we'll still need the support of the village to ensure our own survival."
S'haar looked like she wanted to argue but was forcing herself to figuratively, or perhaps literally, bite her tongue as Jack finished his explanation. "To that end, we play along, for now. We'll do exactly what we had planned to do before. That is to say, building up this outpost to be its own independent entity. We can start by accepting whatever help we can get due to the goodwill we've earned by saving many villagers from the cold and then fending off a major raiding party. With that, we grow this place into something more."
Jack waved toward the door and the camp beyond. "Up until now, we've just focused on iron and a few technologies needed to ensure the safety and quality of life of the many workers who would be present, but Angela and I can offer so much more. We can teach you medicines, textiles, irrigation, plumbing, farming, animal husbandry, and more. Pretty soon, this outpost would become the place of learning in the land. Multiple villages could send their workers to learn of the dragon's wisdom. We'd become essential and, in many ways, untouchable."
S'haar looked dubious, but at least she didn't look ready to charge out and declare war on her own while she considered Jack's proposal.
Em'brel nodded, and her eyes became distant as she took in the entirety of Jack's vision. "We still need the help of the village for this place to function, but if we invite more and more villages to gather and learn here, we wouldn't be for long. With workers and guards from enough villages present, no one village leader would have power over us. Additionally, they wouldn't be able to withdraw support for fear of falling behind the others."
Em'brel frowned as she continued her line of reasoning. "The challenges will be doing this in such a way that everything's already in place before Lord A'ngles realizes he's lost control of the situation, then dealing with the fallout once he does."
As both Jack and Em'brel looked at S'haar expectantly, she finally nodded and sat down. "Alright, I still don't like it, but I see the wisdom of your words. We'll do it your way, for now. But as soon as we can, I want to have our own guards replacing the once's from the village. Also, neither of you are to leave this ship without some kind of escort once the workers arrive."
The glare she directed toward Jack and Em'brel killed any protest they might have made while it was still in their throats. Both nodded their agreement. S'haar then directed her attention to Angela. "And I expect you to keep an ear out for anything suspicious. Forget the rest. You don't need to keep a recording of the day to day lives of the workers who take up residence, but listen with those clever ears of yours for anyone who might be plotting to cause us trouble."
Angela saluted S'haar surprisingly smartly before grinning devilishly. "I would have done that even if you hadn't asked, but I'm glad we're on the same page!"
S'haar looked back and forth between everyone before lowering her head and rubbing it in such a way that spoke of stress and exhaustion. "This is all a bit much to take in all at once. It's starting to give me a headache."
She then stood up and grabbed Jack, hauling him to his feet. "Come on. You're gonna do some more physical therapy and help me de-stress at the same time."
Angela and Em'brel looked at each other in mock disgust, enjoying their new game, before exclaiming loudly in unison, "Ew, gross!"
For his part, Jack seemed a bit too eager to follow as instructed, with a cheerful, "Yes, ma'am!"
As the door to their room closed, Em'brel reached for her new favorite headphones with an exasperated sigh while Angela qued up the next movie. Though she couldn't help but grin a little, happy with the direction their lives had taken since their return.
-
Jack woke in the middle of the night gasping for air. His adrenalin was pumping, and he was looking around, expecting to see...faces.
When he looked down, his hands were shaking. After rubbing his face to chase away the last vestiges of whatever dream he'd woken from, his hands came away wet.
He sat there, trying to catch his breath for a moment, when an unexpected hand came out of nowhere and grabbed him. He reacted instinctively, slamming his elbow back into whoever had ahold of him, only to be caught by another hand and pulled into an embrace.
In an instant, Jack realized it was S'haar holding him and tried to turn to apologize, but she just held him all the more firmly. Realizing the futility of his struggles, Jack gave up and found himself wracked with silent sobs as tears streamed down his face. He felt ashamed of his weakness, crying over a dream he couldn't even remember. Through it all, S'haar held him silently and waited.
After a nebulous period that could have lasted anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, he felt his emotions drain, leaving him feeling oddly empty and exhausted. Remembering how this had all started, he spoke up, his voice still somewhat ragged. "Sorry...about attacking you..."
S'haar didn't seem upset as she responded, though admittedly, Jack couldn't see her face at the moment. "It's alright, no harm done. Well, except for the fact that I'm pretty sure you bruised your elbow."
Judging by the dull ache radiating from his elbow, he was sure she was correct. Jack shook his head and sighed. "Yeah, maybe. Regardless, I'm sorry."
S'haar squeezed Jack a little tighter for just a moment before releasing him enough that he could finally turn around and see her as she replied. "All is forgiven. Back when I lived in the guard's barracks, you'd see something similar from time to time. It was most common after an unusually brutal raid. There is always a bit of a risk waking someone up from something like that early." She paused, tilting her head as if remembering something. "They punched a lot harder than you." She grinned softly to soften any potential blow to Jack's masculinity.
Jack just grinned and chuckled, then grew quiet. S'haar's expression sobered, and she gave him a questioning look. "Want to talk about it?"
Jack thought a moment before shaking his head and lying back down. "No...not yet anyway."
S'haar grabbed him and pulled him into another embrace. It was weird always being the one brought into the hugs, but S'haar seemed to enjoy having as much body contact as possible. Jack wasn't sure if it was out of a desire for intimacy or body heat, but he supposed it didn't matter. He was quickly growing fond of their new dynamic. She squeezed him again and spoke with a voice growing heavy with sleep once more. "That's alright. If you ever feel like talking, I'll be right here, by your side."
Jack felt his eyes threaten to overflow again, and he fought down the annoying lump that had just developed in his throat before muttering, "I know. Thank you."
Then the time for speaking was over, and Jack found himself slipping back to sleep. Despite all the threats and challenges still laid out before them, in S'haar's arms, he felt like he genuinely belonged where he was for the first time since landing on this planet.
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With this, book one has come to an end. I hope this was a satisfying conclusion for everyone. I realize there are some who would have liked me to go into greater detail on certain things, but I thought this fit the tone of the story a bit better, and hope no one feels disappointed with the result.
So the last reveal of book one finally in place, and the plan for the beginning of book two is now laid out for all to see. Some of you saw this coming, One person even predicted it almost to a T, but as I said, it wasn't going to be a huge surprise to anyone who's been paying attention.
Still, I hope this perked your interest in what's to come. Book one was mostly about individual growth and development, with a lot of world-building done on the side. Book two is going to focus a bit more on politics and civilization building... At least to begin with...
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IMPORTANT: I will be taking some time off (about a month I estimate, but we'll see) to go back and edit the first half of the story, and bring it up to par with the second half. Don't worry, I won't be changing any major story elements, so no one will have to go back and read anything to understand what's going on. This is more because I didn't know what this story was going to become until the first visit to the village when I finally realized exactly where I wanted this story to go.
Mostly I want to change a few tonal issues I have and clean up a few abandoned plot threads, but again, nothing that'll change the story in any significant way. For example, S'haar was a bit too demure in the beginning, and Jack a bit too confident. I also want to generally touch up the quality of writing somewhat.
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For those of you who have contributed to my Patreon, first of all, Thank you so much! It really means more to me than I can properly express that you wanted to show your support for this story even though I didn't offer you anything other than my gratitude! I'd thank you all by name, but I don't want to dox anyone.
Starting in December, I'll be putting my Patreon on hold until I start releasing new content again. So no worries, you won't pay a dime until I've got content on the way again.
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In other news, it was explained to me that my hopes of getting this story professionally published are essentially dead in the water. I won't go into details, but without abandoning this series and starting a new one from scratch it just isn't going to happen.
Given that most of the free time I have was already dedicated to writing this story, I had a choice to make. Abandon this story, and really take a shot at writing professionally, or continue this story and accept that this'll just be a hobby for me that happens to bring in a bit of money rather than costing me money. After taking a day to think about it, I decided this story means too much to me to walk away from, so I'll be continuing Of Men and Dragons and it's spin-offs for the foreseeable future.
A large part of that decision came from all the support you all have given me along the way. Your comments and encouragement have really helped me through some interesting/difficult times this year! So once again, thank you so much!
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Since I can't get a professional publishing of this story out, I'll be self-publishing it instead. It won't have professional editing or really nice cover art since I can't afford to take a loss that massive at this time. A book this large costs several thousand to get edited and quality cover art isn't cheap either. Don't get me wrong, I think the time and effort it takes to do that kind of thing is worth every penny it would cost, I just don't have those kinds of funds available.
That being said, I'll try and ensure you get the best quality work I can offeafford. It will definitely be available in e-book form, and I'll look into "by the book" soft and hardcover printing as well, though that is a bit more expensive since the books are only manufactured if and when they are ordered. This all probably won't be ready until I'm well into book two, but I'll keep y'all updated.
I'd like to offer a special thanks to Coldfireknight, who has very generously offered to give this monster of a story an edit in his free time. That is far more than I could have asked for, and I can't express how grateful I am! Honestly, this story would have suffered immensely if he hadn't helped me out in the beginning, and now he's back offering his services once more. So if you see him around, (he seems to be everywhere in HFY) say hi to him!
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All that being said, thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! (I'll be back soon!)

Here we go, my first reddit post. So, a little background before I begin the story. Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 years and at. We live in Denmark (which is the last place where I thought I would have this sort of encounter) and have been together since highschool. To make it easy for me: GF = Girlfriend, OP = Me, NB = Neckbeard. (Also, I'm sorry for any grammatical errors, since I'm danish, and I'm not used to writing in english)
Now, the story takes place about 3 years ago. GF is 2 years younger than me and I had recently graduated, while she was still in school. As it goes, we were going through a rough patch with balancing our lives, but we made it work and we were and still are very happy. But recently a new guy were in GF's class and he was the real deal, a bona fide Neckbeard. He usually wore the Neckbeard starter kit, anime T-shirt, leather trenchcoat, glasses with a thin rim and either cargopants- or shorts combined with combat boots. The only thing that really made him stand out between other neckbeards was his MyLittlePony tattoo which covered most of his calf. He also had this EXTREME stench. The closest I could use to describe it, would be to say 3 month old cocoa milk with urine in it, even then I'm selling it short. People in the class would physically recoil when he entered the room.
But anyway, besides being the odd one out, he didn't seem too bad to my GF, and she tried talking to NB after class, mostly about his old school and what he thought about the new one. According to my girlfriend, he didn't say that much the first couple of times, but eventually he opened up to her. He would often call my GF ''Skønjomfru'' which roughly translates to ''Fair maiden'' and would talk to her in a way that could only be from cheesy middleage movies. GF thought it was weird, but hey, when you consider the tattoo and the anime shirts, it wasn't the weirdest thing.
After school I would usually pick up my girlfriend after I worked out (unless I had work, which was late shifts, so I had to go to work when she got off from school), since it was on my way home anyways and it would be dumb to let her walk home, when there was a good chance that I would drive past her on the way. This was MY first encounter with NB. I parked in the parking lot and got out of the car to light up a smoke (Don't do it kids, it isn't cool and it can be a b**ch to quit). A short while after my GF came out with her best friend and NB in her heels, they came up to me and the conversation was as follows (Keep in mind, this was many years ago, but I think it is about 99,9% accurate, plus i have to translate from danish to english)
GF: Heyyy
OP: Heyy
GF: This is NB, he's new and in my class
OP: Hey there, I'm OP nice to meet you NB!
GF: NB this this is my boyfriend
NB: B.. Boyfriend?
GF: Yeah! I'm moving into his place soon, though I do spend most of my time at his place already.
NB: But I thought...
GF: You thought I was single?
NB: *walks away in silence*
GF: NB, where are you going?
OP: Maybe he had a bus or train to catch?
GF: Maybe.
And that was my first encounter with NB. A few days later, I'm with my girlfriend in my apartment, we're just watching some series in bed, when she gets a notification on her phone. NB has sent a friend request of course. GF looks through his profile to see if she could learn a bit more about him, and apparently, if it wasn't anime or MLP pictures, it was youtube videos ABOUT neckbeards and him defending the neckbeards in them on his profile. GF was a little shocked, but she chose to ignore it, but I had alarm bells ringing in every part of my brain, since I had heard of these neckbeards before, but, stupidly, I didn't really think about it any further and just went to bed.
The next couple of days I was pretty busy with work and so was GF with school, so she was at her moms since she hadn't gotten a key to the apartment yet and I would be home late. This is were things take a turn for the worse when it comes to NB. He began to get very touchy feely with GF, and she dislikes people touching her, I am one of the few she doesn't mind touching her, but even then there are still boundaries, which i respect. NB did not respect it, he would put his hand on her thigh, hand and so on, now GF is VERY vocal about her boundaries, and she is not afraid of telling you off. NB would stop for a short while, and then start again. This kept going for some time until GF told NB that if he didn't stop, she would break his fingers (despite being short, my girlfriend can be very intimidating when mad, trust me) as I have been told, this was the conversation:
GF: Stop that right now, or I swear I will break your fingers, I have told you so many times now, I do not like being touched!
NB: You don't mind that brute you call boyfriend touching you.
GF: That is because he is my boyfriend, and I love him!
NB: He is an animal, I have seen some of the videos of his MMA fights, compared to me, he can't have too many brain cells left!
GF: At least HE can understand ''STOP''
NB: You should dump him, he probably beats you, I would never beat you fair maiden, I know how to defend you honorably, I have trained with a blade since I could lift a sword
GF: Riight, you know what, screw you.
The same day she came home to me crying, she was really uncomfortable and couldn't believe that NB would act this way, since he had seemed so nice. Now, I'm not the type to start a fight, every fight I've ever been in has been instigated by someone else and mostly it has been me defending a drunk friend who said something stupid, but this time, I was ready to go to war then and there, but GF came first and she needed me to comfort her, not go and threaten some idiot. I told her I would take her to school the next week and pick her up, since work was mostly quiet this week and I didn't have to many shifts, but every day I would walk her to her classroom (I know most of the teachers, and I'm good friends with a handful of them, so it wasn't a problem) and I would make sure I stared NB directly in his eyes, every second that I could.
Fast foward a week or so, from ''the touching incident'' and suddenly NB starts texting GF. The messages go:
NB: Good evening my love
GF: I am not your love, leave me alone.
NB: But we are meant to be! You know you love me! You loved me since the first time we talked, just couldn't resist a real man
GF: No, I love OP, my boyfriend.
NB: I know you don't, you're only with him because he threatens you, the brute... I shall defeat him in combat!
GF: Yeah right.
NB: *D-PIC* bet he doesn't have as big a meat sword as me, probably because of all the stereoids;p
GF: EW WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
NB: You wanna suck this big f***ing d**k?;)
GF: NO! But you're definitely blocked!
GF showed me the messages and I was fuming at first, but then she started to joke about his ''little squire'' and impersonating him, which made me laugh and immediatly calmed me down. NB wouldn't give up that easy though.
After the week had passed, I had to get back to work again, but I had gotten GF a key to the apartment, so she could stay there if she wanted to. The next couple of days after school, NB would try to follow GF, but she would spot him easily (who would have thought anime t-shirts and a trench coat wasn't inconspicuous) and lost him between the various walkways that there are in the area with the apartments. GF told me this, about how she was scared, and I told her that enough was enough, this is stalking and he only gets worse by the day. She agreed with me and the next day we would call the police and get a restraining order. Unfortunatly, it did not end there, as you could guess from the title of the post. Because this day, NB had not shown up to school and GF was kinda worried about it, but brushed it off as him just being sick. I had called my boss that morning, explaining the situation and that I might take a couple of days off in case that GF needed me and in case the police needed anything from me. Luckily my boss was very understanding and told me to take as much time off as I needed, since they had enough hands and I hadn't had a day off since I started a year ago.
So I was sitting at home when GF called me to ask if I could walk in her direction and meet her and then walk home with her. I asked her if she didn't want me to pick her up instead but she was very adamant in wanting to have a walk to clear her head, so I went off to meet up with her. This is where some of you might discredit my story and say it is unrealistic, and honestly, it IS unrealistic. Like something taken out of a bad Action/Thriller. As I am walking towards GF, NB comes from a side road, and throws her to the ground, groping her and ripping up her shirt. I see this and I don't think I've run as fast as I did then. I kicked him in the side and even though he was taller than me, I am a lot more athletic, broader and physically stronger than him. So with my best MMA abilities I tackled him to ground and put him in choke while telling GF to call the police. I had to wrestle around with NB for some time before the police came and took him in, in the fight I had sprained my ankle so me and GF both went to the hospital, she had some scratches but nothing bad. NB on the other hand, had a broken rib and concussion.
NB tried to press charges on me for assault, but I was let go without any trouble. He got senteced to 4 1/2 years in prison for sexual assault, also, he has to pay compensation for sexual harrasment and a restraining order was issued so we hope we never see him again.
But now everything is going great, me and GF are engaged and we have a little bread baking in the oven. I just hope this is my one and only encounter with an insane Neckbeard.
And if you reached the end and you are reading this, thank you! I had actually not thought about NB since the trial ended and it was only today as I am writing this that the memory resurfaced when I was watching TimTamTom on YouTube so check him out and support a smaller creator! Also, I know the story seems unbeliveable but I don't have much other than my word to prove any of this, and I don't wish to give up any identities.
TimTamTom YT: https://www.youtube.com/useTheOtakuNetwork

Ezekiel- Thanks for all the help, ya knobs! (One of the few times we see human Zeke get mad and knobs is such an odd sort of insult that fits Zeke really well.)
Eva- Here's a toe tag, Surfer Girl. You'll be needing it for later! (Clever and sinister threat that reminds me of my own angry/evil persona I like to break into.)
Noah- Um no, my friend, that thing just burned off my shoe! (That little French 'no' was so cute.)
Justin- Wouldn't know, math is for ugly people. (No. fucks. given. A beautiful line just like the man who delivered it.)
Katie- What's she talking about? (Good job, Katie. Don't fuel Courtney's obsession.)
Tyler- I don't have a pen. (This! This is how you do dumb humor.)
Izzy- Yeah right, that's what they all say! My lips did what they wanted, my lips have a mind of their own. Blah blah blah fish cakes! Blah blah blah I'm a liar! Blah blah blah! (Yep. That's pretty much how it goes.)
Cody- Gwen touched my butt. I had pants on but it was pretty much my butt. (Small, relatable victories with your crush.)
Beth- Why? Because you know you can't win without your little alliance! (Oooohh! Beth be dropping truth bombs.)
Sadie- If none of us liked her, how did Heather get into the final? (Sadie knows what's up.)
Courtney- Not only do I not like him, I can't stand him! He's rude, he's rebellious, and he's totally annoying.. and I'm gonna go check on him. (An establishing moment.)
Harold- Farewell, Total Drama Island! I loved, I lost, and I saw boobies! What more can a man ask for? (The perfect farewell.)
Trent- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9! (I actually feel like my obsession with counting to 12 is being represented here and it gives me joy.)
Bridgette- Sorry like a surfer who's busted her board! (The song gives me chills and that line was made for Bridgette.)
Lindsay- Don't worry! Saying bye isn't so bad because really, it's just a 'Hi' with a 'B!' (That was super sweet and hit me right at home.)
DJ- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (I'm gonna say the scream counts because it's probably my favorite moment in Island.)
Geoff- Wow, you pitch a tent like a guy! (Hilarious, iconic moment.)
Leshawna- Oh, tell me the macho mama with butt cheeks tighter than my weave did not just say that! (Leshawna is known for her extra sassy lines but I think this one beats them all.)
Duncan- I've held it this long, Sweetheart! I can go all day! (Oh yeah, sure you can, Mr. Tough Guy.)
Heather- Well at least I'm popular. (Ooh! Brutal! And what a way to establish what she values most.)
Gwen- You want us to hunt for Zeke!? No way! he's psycho crazy! (HEHEHE!!!)
Owen- I'm going to die now. I'm going to freaking die now! (That's the spirit, Owen!)
Chris- I know you don't get out much. Been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaky prairie people. Just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early. Okay, man? (Wow. Chris actually trying to be helpful and to ZEKE of all people. Never gonna see that again.)
Chef- Found him living in the cargo hold, homeschooling with the rats. (Somehow, that phrase makes total sense and I guess we kinda learned what's going on with Ezekiel that season.)
Blaineley- Blain Blain Blain Blainerific is my name! Dishing dirt is my my game! Invading your TV with my Blainelisious brain! (Come on, that is a good song.)
Sierra- Cody? Cody! I can't feel my face. Where'd you put it? Cody! Cody! (Too funny.)
Alejandro- Luckily, I don't need Tyler for his brains. I'm still not exactly sure what I need him for but it's definitely not brains. (I like Ty and Al's friendship and it's nice to see someone sees Tyler as useful even if he doesn't know why he is useful.)
Staci- Ja! I'm going to win Total Drama Revenge of the Island because I come from a long line of people who think outside the box. (At least she's confident.)
Dakota- Weird, I want one. (That's what I said about Ezekiel.)
B- ...(I really love that B doesn't speak but is still a valuable player for as long as we see him.)
Dawn- I read people's auras and it looks like someone threw up on yours. (Makes sense even if you know nothing about auras. Also honesty.)
Sam- And I'm officially done. Goodnight, everybody! (Fucking mood.)
Brick- Doi! Here's your cat! (Hilarious.)
Anne Maria- Have you seen my nails? These are why I drive with my feet! (Very sassy and funny line that fits Anne Maria's character so well. One of the reasons she's one of my favorite characters.)
Mike- Yeah, that's great. (Haha! The perfect response to Staci talking.)
Chester-Oh, why he's the whippiest snapping whipper snapper that ever snapped a- (We all know that would've been a bunch of swears and I love fake swears.)
Svetlana- Shtop! Who cares who vas ze first? Mike iz ze best. He's more patient zan me, more generous zan Chester, less egotistical zan Manitoba, und he iz a better dancer zan Vito! (Aww, zat vas zo sveet!)
Vito- You're going down, Twinkle Toes. (Vito has so many funny lines but I like when they come out while Mike sleeps.)
Manitoba- Crikeys! What did I just say? (I laugh every time at that scene!)
Mal- And I love when things get scary. (So. do. I.)
Jo- And I never kissed a guy! (What a great moment that was for Jo and Lightbulb.)
Scott- Back home, we have a special way to cross these bridges. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Omfg! That was THE funniest moment in all of All Stars! What can I say? I love screams of terror!)
Zoey- Last season, Zeke was living in the mine. Maybe that's where he took Chris? (Oh? One of you actually took notice of Ezekiel?)
Cameron- Yoohoo! Lookie lookie! I'm a big distraction! Ha! You missed! Uh-oh. (Let this be a lesson to all: Never become Zeke's target.)
Lightning- Time for Thunder to say Sha-bye bye. Hey, can somebody write that down? (Is actually something worth writing down and one of the best uses of Sha.)
Beardo- I am pretty shy and until I warm up to people I tend to just make noises and be generally bothersome. (Yeah me too man. And that sounded amazing.)
Leonard- I don't wish to overstep, but it's easier if you ride the camel. (You know you're screwed when Leonard is telling you what's what.)
Amy- Way to make a fool of yourself in front of everyone, Samey! 'Oh, I got the food and I'm the nice one! Blah blah blah! (Nice imitation of yourself.)
Rodney- On the farm, it's just me, my dad, and my five little brothers. I'm kinda used to being in charge. (Explains a lot.)
Sammy- Are you kidding? I'm a walking lie! Agh! I should've known they had a polygraph chicken! (That was great.)
Ella- I broke the rules and now I'm paying the price and soon will be launched from this cannon device. I'll do my best not to die cause now I have to say GOODBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I LOVE that song! Especially that last note.)
Topher- I'll bring my face! (That's so funny and always catches me off guard.)
Dave- Why do I keep smelling this thing? (Yes, Dave? Why?)
Scarlett- I. Am. Not. Your. SIDEKICK!!!! (That's terrifying. I love it.)
Max- Maybe the cave thinks you're weird. (Wow, we have the same comebacks.)
Jasmine- If this is how Canadian boys flirt, I'd hate to see how they propose. (Yeah.. me too..)
Sugar- Real people tells me their problems and I just yell SUCK IT UP! I'd watch that. (I think we could all use that advice so I'm totally behind that.)
Sky- This can't be legal! (Like that ever stopped Chris before.)
Shawn- There's no easy way to say this. I'd rather be eaten by a zombie! (Wouldn't we all? Perfect way to sum up PI's collective hatred of Sugar.)
Tammy- We were stuffed into the same locker. (A friendship forming out of a common negative experience.)
Gerry- At least we didn't go home first. (Optimism and that's more than can be said for all the first boots.)
Pete- The Cadets vs the Surfers? What an exciting finale! *snores* (I love making snore jokes just like that.)
Ellody- We weren't exactly 'popular' in highschool. But memorizing the street maps of every urban center is just as fun as going to parties. (I too enjoy a good map reading and have never been invited to anything such as a party so.. yeah...)
Mary- No, sharks aren't afraid of me but they are afraid of magnets. (Scott could have used that information a few times.)
Laurie- I thought what happens in Iceland stays in Iceland! (Oh yeah, you thought.)
Miles- Take hikes, not humps! (..Come on, I don't have to say it.)
Jen- There sure are a lot of bats all of a sudden. (2020 anyone?)
Tom- Ew, it is like so creepy in here, I feel like I'm being watched. (Says the guy who knows he's on a world-wide television show!)
Kelly- Because your dad bought a trophy store! What kind of trophies come in the mail? (Good point.)
Taylor- If you had a face as chipotle as mine, would you want it hit with an ice pick? (Now I want Chipotle.. and to hit people with an ice pick.)
Jay- This just got really heavy. (That did get really heavy and made me wanna hug them.)
Mickey- I've been bitten by venomous creatures so often, I've developed an immunity. Last year, on a school trip to Seaville, a box jellyfish sat on my head like a hat. (That's actually really cool and would've been even cooler if Steve Irwin had had those powers.)
Chet- No I'm not! (In the attempt to argue against your step brother, you just played yourself. Funny.)
Lorenzo- Shut your word hole! Jerk! (I like the term word hole especially as an insult.)
Rock- I guess I'll do pretty much anything to win. I need the money for my parents. They're not getting any younger and they really want me out of their basement. If I win, I can build my own basement!! (Yo me too man.)
Spud- You should write books, man cause that's like... story stuff! (I love writing story stuff.)
Dwayne- No problem, Santa, I'll pull your slay. Ah! Where are my legs? (What can I say? I love the random, loopy lines.)
Junior- I don't really listen to you. Just get up and eat! (Yeah, who listens to their parents? No 13 year olds. Also, if I yelled at my mom like that, I'd be dead and I'm in my 20s!)
Crimson- I feel like a dead body that washed up on shore but in a bad way. (I love every single one of the Goths lines and it was almost impossible to pick favorites but I just like the way she said that.)
Ennui- Ready to jump, Loki? Loki? nooooo. (I laugh at that every. single. time.)
Brody- I'd marry you all over again! (We all know you would, Brody.)
Ryan- I'm not sure if you can see it at home, but I'm 75% upper body! (Yeah, so are half the guys on this show.)
Stephanie- The hating is really working for us so I don't wanna mess that up. (Yeah, they really were at their best when they were The Haters.)
Devin- Maybe they realized it's all meaningless because death is inevitable. (Absolutely.)
Carrie- Okay, if Devin ends up going goth, I am not going goth for him! *sigh* Yes, I would. (I'm just disappointed this never happened(canonically.))
Emma- I just saw my little sister fall down a mountain and I was worried! Are you okay? (Aw, after all the times Emma yelled at her sister and seemed like she didn't care, we see she does care.)
Kitty- I used to be obsessed with video games. One time I played Hockey: All Stars for 2 days straight. I would've kept going but Emma unplugged my game station and refused to give it back until I took a shower. (Only 2 days without showering? Yo those are some rookie numbers. And I'm no gamer but I've done my share of sitting activity things like that for 2 days straight and more.)
Jacques- Just because our task is menial, doesn't mean you skimp on artistic impression. (That is a great way of thinking and so true for any performer.)
Josee- I can't believe those pasty faced freaks took gold! Oh I'll bet that they're just loving it! (And here we see the difference between a sore loser and those that don't get sore about anything.)
Sanders- How are there taxis in the jungle? (How is there a jungle around a taxi?)
McArthur- Don't worry, trying anything for the first time is hard! (That really was a gimme. Nice one.)
Don- I wish you luck in whatever circus or cult you end up in. Go away. (Aw thanks for supporting 2 of my ambitions dude!)

Hi everyone! This is another unsolved case from Spain. This one in particular has been ranked by various Spanish crime and mystery polls as one of the most intriguing cases of our country.
This is, as always, a long read. But I hope you can enjoy it. Here it goes;

"Luci 13-12-1962"

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Madrid, Spain
Wednesday, August 13th, 1969
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A 20-years old firefighter walked into an old abandoned farmstead colloquially referred to by locals as Casa de la Viuda (Widow's House), near the municipality of Hortaleza. He would later tell LE that he frequented that place on his spare time; the old house was spacious, and he liked to go there to exercise and keep himself in excellent shape -as his job required him to be. Since it had been abandoned, the farm was frequented by locals at night only, as at the time it was used as a lover's lane. However, the morning of that August 13 his routine would be shattered in the spookiest way possible.
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There were lots of old tools, furniture and other agricultural paraphernalia there. Among these there were several large tinajas (a type of jar-like and big recipient typical of Mediterranean and North African cultures, often used to store water, oil, or grain). One of these was particularly big. That morning the firefighter, motivated by curiosity, decided to peek inside that big tinaja. And that's when he made the disturbing discovery.
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There was a dead woman stuffed inside.
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Knowing that the police would secure the area for preserving evidence, the firefighter exited the house avoiding touching anything. He got into his car and drove to the nearest police station, informing LE about the gruesome finding. A team of investigators drove to the scene.
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The woman was naked. A black turtleneck sweater was wrapped tightly around her neck. Her blue jeans and her panties were later found down around her ankles. She was young, her age at the time estimated to be somewhere in her 20's. Her bleached hair was of a very pale shade of blonde which, along with her at the time fashionable late 1960's clothing and her silver shoes and purse, inspired a there present LE investigator to eloquently define her appearance as 'like a space doll'.
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She stood 160 cm tall (or 5'3''). Slender complexion.
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He face had been battered, but later on it would be ruled that the cause of dead had been mechanical asphyxiation. More specifically, her killer had squeezed her throat hard with one hand, as the finger-shaped bruises on her neck attested. She had numerous defensive wounds in the form of bruises. Death had taken place less than 48 hours earlier, and her body was barely entering into the first stages of decomposition. The swelling in her face wasn't due to the decaying process, but due to the blunt trauma-induced inflammation. This detail would make the identification process much harder than expected. There was some dry blood on her cheeks and her clothing, but no traces of blood were found on the tinaja nor around; she had been murdered somewhere else and then dropped there later.
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The contents of her purse, as well as the pockets in her jeans, were examined. This didn't produce any evidence that would point at the woman's identity. A strange piece of evidence was found trapped between her clenched teeth though; a small golden medallion with the following inscription embedded on it;
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LUCI 13-12-1962
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Could her name be Lucía? And what was that date referring to? Obviously, it couldn't be her birth date, since the body belonged clearly to an adult woman. Investigators at the scene pondered that maybe it could be the name and birth date of her daughter. This clue was used in the investigation.
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The soil at the abandoned house showed that her killer had dragged her all the way to the tinaja where she was found in. It also showed that a car had been there. Based on the tire's pattern and the approximate wheelbase of the vehicle, investigators concluded that the car used to take the woman to there was a Renault 4L, a very popular car back then in Spain. What is more; they could also find a dent on the metal frame of the property's narrow gate. It was likely caused by a car speeding through it. Although the gate was narrow, anyone who could drive a car could easily go through it slowly. However, it seemed that someone -likely the killer- had rushed through with their car, hitting the frame in their way out, and probably full of anxiety about being seen dropping a body there.
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The investigators managed to retrieve samples of red colored car paint from the dent, which gave them more information about where to look. A red Renault 4L.
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It seemed that the tinaja, which was made of clay, had created conditions on its interior that had slowed down the decaying process in spite of the summer temperatures -tinajas make a rather cool storage space by keeping the heat out. Because of that, LE investigators managed to produce an excellent fingerprint profile from the murdered woman. It took the team just twelve hours since sampling her fingerprints to find a match. Keep in mind this was back in 1969, before fingerprint registries were in electronic form; the team had to split into several groups to compare (visually) the fingerprints with the registries of different public agencies. Twelve hours was a really quick time for a fingerprint match back then.
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The fingerprint match came with a strange surprise. It was found by the team that had been assigned to compare the sample with the fingerprints from the Registry of Foreign Passports.
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According to the match, it belonged to Kerry Payne, an American citizen. Born on December 25th, 1944 in Venice, Italy. Her parents were Richard and Nuria. The additional information in the registry mentioned 'housewife' as her professional occupation.
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With the new data about her identity, LE tried to contact her family and relatives to tell them the unfortunate news about her death, as well as to move forward with the murder investigation. However, things would just start to get weirder and bizarre.
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Payne's parents could not be located. Neither the US embassy, nor the personnel from the nearby USAF base in Torrejón de Ardoz could find anything about her within their databases. However, a matchbox advertising for a nightclub in Raleigh, North Carolina, had been found in the crime scene near the tinaja inside of which the woman had been found. The presence of this item had made investigators to put a lot of faith in thinking that sooner or later a relative of Kerry Payne would be found. The matchbox set them to contact North Carolina's authorities, leading them into another frustrating turn as this move didn't produce any results; There were no matching records of any Kerry Payne fitting the woman's personal information.
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It was almost like Kerry Payne, also known as Tinaja Girl and Space Doll, didn't exist. So who was that dead woman really then? Where did she come from? And of course... who killed her, and why?
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Chameleon among Wolves

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Having clear that the whole Kerry Payne ID was fake, the investigation had stalled. Without knowing the woman's ID, solving the crime was off question. They couldn't trace down her last movements, nor question her family nor acquaintances.
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The investigators split once again in teams to look for other fingerprint matches, which took a bit longer time than the initial twelve hours before the first match. After a couple of days of arduous work the investigators managed to produce a second match -which turned out to be legit. Here's another surprising aspect of the discovery of this match; it came from the team looking for results on the public mental health internment records. And so they finally had a solid name.
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She wasn't American, nor Italian. In fact, her origins weren't at all exotic; she was Spanish. Natividad Romero Rodríguez (commonly addressed as "Nati") was born in the small town of Siles, located at 130 km (80 mi) east of Jaén, in the middle of the semiarid, deep Manchegan countryside. Nati came to this world on July 15h, 1941, which means that she was 28 years-old when she was killed. Her mother and her brother positively identified the body by an old scar on her right forearm.
Picture of a young Nati
Nati had been problematic from a very young age; volatile, kleptomaniac and narcissistic. She also developed an addiction to alcohol and used drugs during her teenage years. Her working-class family could not manage to deal with her extremely difficult behavior. At the age of 16 she was committed to a mental institution in Jaén, for a total of seven years, after two suicide attempts. In the first one Nati had jumped from the window of a 4th floor. The second time she had tried slicing her wrists on the bathtub.
Nati, circa 1965 The investigators' inquires revealed that Nati escaped from the mental institution and moved to Madrid in 1964. She quickly adapted to the underworld and the night life of the big city; first as a pickpocket and confidence trickster, but soon as a prostitute too. She used the name "Tania" as her identity at the time. Fifty-something questioned people later (being shown Nati's pictures), the investigators found that she lived with a man named Juan between August of 1964 and some point of the fall of 1965. There isn't much information about Juan, except that he was a black man and had a large scar on his face. He apparently was a soldier, and was sent to serve at a navy base in Rota (some 480 km, or 300 mi, southwest of Madrid). Nati didn't follow him to Rota; instead, she remained in Madrid, surviving by making money 'out of the night'.
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Sometimes known by the name of Tania, sometimes by the name of Luci... and yes, also known as Kerry. She also liked to change her hair color very often, sometimes up to three times a week. These questioned about Nati -including other prostitutes- stated that she often 'worked' at the bars and nightclubs near the USAF base in Torrejón de Ardoz (active from 1953 to 1992), targeting American soldiers looking to spend some of their money on local women. She seemed to have a preference for black American soldiers, as she was often seen with them. When she was not heading to a hotel room escorted by an African-American soldier, Nati catered to local patrons posing as an American woman. She was reportedly very good at feigning an American accent, and she had discovered she was better paid for her services because of that. As for her personal life, Nati claimed to be a lesbian that the only thing she wanted from men was their money, and many people recalled her being physical with women (paid or not). Nati had, however, a worrisome tendency to seek very young girls for her personal pleasure.
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Her acquaintances also mentioned than Nati always looked 'off' or 'sleepy', like on drugs. Although when considering this point it's worth remembering that Nati was an alcoholic and frequent drug user, on top of suffering from serious mental illness. When she didn't look drugged Nati was seen either drinking, looking for patrons or just looking for a fight; she was a violent woman who made an extensive use of foul language and profanity.
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As the whole story unraveled, the investigators bumped into a big 'a-ha' moment when they learned that Nati had married in 1966. The name of her husband?
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Leonard Payne. American citizen. USAF Airman First Class, stationed at Torrejón de Ardoz Air Base.
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And yes; he was African-American.
Nati and Leonard, around 1966
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The marriage was blessed with two children later on. It was also blessed, more obscurely, with generous money transfers from the US. These transfers amounted an average of around $2,000 a month, which in 2020 is the equivalent to about $16,000, or some 14,000€. It's not clear what kind of family background Leonard had, but his monthly salary at USAF certainly wouldn't match such amounts of money. The origin and motive of these money transfers has never been clear. The couple had rented a very expensive flat to live in.
Nati, with one of the children she had with Leonard
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In early 1968 Leonard, who has an avionics expert, was sent to Vietnam, leaving Nati alone in Madrid. At some point of that year Leonard went MIA in Vietnam, and soon presumed dead. Seems like not long after the news of Leonard's tragic demise were received the money stopped coming, and Nati's behavior became even more erratic and unpredictable. She was eventually arrested for drugging a teen girl and sexually abusing her, a crime for which she was sent to the Ventas Prison for Women. She spent eight months there.
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During her time in prison she became an inmate most of the women there avoided; Nati was too volatile, too unpredictable (except for the fact that she'd resort to aggression sooner or later) and always trying to smuggle alcohol inside. In one occasion she and other two inmates ended up in the infirmary after a disastrous attempt to produce moonshine; their drink contained enough methanol to poison them. Nati and one of the two women survived. The other one died.
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She was often getting into scuffles there, especially taking into account the nature of the crime she'd been sent there for. One night another inmate made fun of Nati's deceased African-American husband, using a pejorative racial slur. Nati reacted by walking up to that woman and smacking her with a heavy oil can so hard that the woman needed several stitches on her face.
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After her release from prison in early 1969 Nati moved in with one of her friends -a former prostitute- and her boyfriend. It's not clear if this couple was taking care of Nati's children while she was in prison, or if the children were sent to the US to live with Leonard's family. Soon after Nati was kicked out of that residence, after she had been caught stealing from them; this friend's name was Lucía, and she was the owner of the golden medallion that would later be found between Neti's teeth. Apparently, Nati had found a job at a club, but she was fired soon after for being frequently caught drunk at work.
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From this point up until her death six months later, Nati's movements become unclear. One night of late February a police patrol car found her lying unconscious and bloodied on the sidewalk at El Retiro Park. Someone had subjected her to a savage beating. The policemen drove Nati to a hospital and, after she received treatment, they tried to convince her to fill an assault report. However Nati -concussed and with her lips grotesquely swollen- refused to do so. She also claimed that she didn't know the person who had attacked her. The policemen didn't believe that, and suspected that she had been beaten up by a pimp or a patron.
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According to other sex workers, Nati had spent the spring and summer of 1969 resuming her routine of trying to get black USAF soldiers to pay for her services. However, she had also expressed some concerns about her own safety, confiding to her friends that she felt 'followed'. She didn't seem to explain to them further about these feelings though.
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Nati was seen alive for the last time at around 4:00 AM of August 12th, 1969. Whatever happened to her between that moment and the morning of the following day when the firefighter discovered her body was a complete mystery. By early 1970 the investigation had stalled and the case became cold. Ironically, it would take one particularly cold night about one year later to warm the case back into life...
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Thugs and Knives

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Madrid, Spain
Saturday, January 30th, 1971
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7th Barbieri Street, early morning hours. The Piloto Bar was full of patrons, as it was habitual on weekend nights. Everyone was having a good time on that gelid winter night under the warm roof of the bar. Patrons drank, smoked cigarettes and chatted with their friends, probably about football. Others would bet rounds of beers among their friends over a game of table football. A barman in his 50's named Pedro Herraiz was the owner of the bar. That busy night the 32-years old waiter Álvaro Coque was working alongside with him, as well as another waiter, a kitchen porter and the cook.
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It was a busy, but peaceful night until that guy and his friends walked into the bar.
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His name was José Antonio Sánchez Gil, but everyone around knew him by the nickname 'Pepe el Guapo' ('Handsome Pepe'). His good looks and his success with women made his nickname self-explanatory. He was a tall, intimidating man who, along with his friends, regularly terrorized the neighborhood. The 29-years old Pepe was a ruthless pimp with many girls under his 'protection services'. He used that fearsome reputation to drink as much as he pleased at the local bars without paying a cent. Standing up to him would mean having Pepe and his friends doing a number to the bar, trashing the place and assaulting the staff.
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Pepe ordered whiskey, as he always did. And he invited his friends to drink, as he always did. Everyone at the Piloto Bar knew that standing up to Pepe was a very bad idea. However, that night Pepe made a big mistake. It would be his last one. Apparently, Mr. Herraiz had stood behind the counter looking at Pepe as he drank, not hiding his animosity towards that thug. Then Pepe, probably feeling challenged, decided to cap the night off with the ultimate humiliation; he invited Herraiz to drink a glass of his best whiskey. A drink which, of course, Pepe had zero intentions to pay for.
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The 'invitation' was met with a counter-offer from Herraiz; Pepe and his friends should leave the bar immediately and never come back. Herraiz had had enough, and that drink suggestion had been the straw that broke the camel's back. Pepe then grabbed an empty beer bottle from the counter and smashed it against Herraiz's forehead, dazzling him. Almost immediately Pepe jumped over the counter and started beating up Herraiz; his friends soon joined the beating, and the floored Herraiz was at the receiving end of a brutal barrage of kicks and stomps.
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The Piloto's staff wasted no time; they all grabbed ham knives from the kitchen and rushed back out to help their boss. Pepe and his gang pulled out their switchblades and a violent knife fight ensued. It didn't seem that things would go well for the staff, as they were being outnumbered by the thugs. The cook suffered a severe stab wound in one of his buttocks. But the waiter Coque managed to catch Pepe off-guard (the criminal was distracted fighting someone else) and drove the long knife blade into his ribcage, slicing part of his heart. Pepe collapsed almost immediately.
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Probably emboldened after seeing Pepe finally being at the wrong end of a knife blade, many of the patrons that night at the Piloto bar joined the fight too, siding with the staff. Pepe's gang was now overwhelmed with punches, beer bottles and even bar stools. Around this time several police officers reached the bar. All except for a couple of Pepe's friends managed to escape the beating and flee running down the street. These who couldn't had to be rescued by the police officers; the scuffle and the agitation were so intense that the officers had to use their batons to dissuade the patrons from continuing their attack on these thugs.
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Herraiz, who had been badly beaten, was taken to hospital, and so was the cook because of his stab wound. Both men eventually made a full recovery. Pepe, on the other hand, was pronounced dead at hospital. His violent death surprised no one, and saddened no one either. In fact, locals joked around afterwards noticing the irony behind the fact that 'Handsome Pepe' had died, literally, from a broken heart. It seems that the man who put an end to his life, the waiter Álvaro Coque (a husband and a father of two kids who had no criminal record), faced minimal or no charges.
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That night the police officers made some arrests. Obviously the thugs that didn't manage to escape were arrested, as well as the most aggressive patrons that had still some fight in them. But they also arrested a patron in particular, one who during the melee had been seen trying to not to get involved and leaving the scene discreetly.
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His name was Gregorio Ávila Sotoca, more known locally as 'Goyo'. The reasons he had tried his best to avoid the fight had nothing to do with ethics or pacifism; Goyo was well known by Madrid's LE at the time. At 28, he was a mugger, thief, and a drug dealer. But he was known especially as a pimp. He had been the subject of a search and arrest warrant for the previous six months due to a string of robberies he was a suspect of, and had spent that time trying to keep a low profile to fly under LE's radar.
A picture of Gregorio Ávila Sotoca, alias 'Goyo'
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Goyo was placed on a cell at the main police station -something he wasn't unfamiliar with. The police chief on command of Goyo's arrest that night was a man named Manuel Lista. Mr. Lista was a tall and big man who, in spite of his intimidating appearance, never used physical force against any detainee -back in the 1970's Spain police brutality was the norm rather than the exception, especially when the detainees were regular offenders like Goyo was. Instead, Lista preferred a slow and patient method of interrogation; without even raising his voice (looking almost fatherly, in fact) he would come up with the same questions over and over, staring into the offender's eyes. He would also question the detainees at early morning hours, waking them up several times a night.
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That weekend Lista was reportedly trying to make Goyo confess to pimping women and robbery charges. However (according to him and his subordinates) something extremely unexpected happened.
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Goyo finally broke down and said; "It's about that Tinaja Girl, right? Well, I killed her".
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Why would Goyo supposedly admit that is not clear. Apparently, he blurted that out after Lista had asked him many times "to start talking", but no one at the station expected him to have anything to do with Nati. Goyo told them that the night of August 11th, 1969 he was very drunk and had met Nati at a café-bar. They drank some more there and then Goyo proposed Nati to go to his place, to which she refused. Then he drove her in his car -a red Renault 4L- to the abandoned house where Nati's dead body was later found. Goyo reportedly told Lista and his men that once there they 'couldn't reach and agreement and Nati started nagging and making fun of him'. This enraged Goyo, who described to Lista how he put both hands on Nati's throat and squeezed until she passed out. After that Goyo slapped her face, trying to wake her up, until he realized that Nati was dead. Finally, Goyo stripped her naked, took her money and her jewelry and hid her body inside the big tinaja.
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Goyo also described how he was so full of anxiety when leaving that his car gazed the gate's frame, scratching the bodywork. By the morning he had stayed at one of his girl's apartment, and Goyo told her he was leaving later that day 'for a road trip'. He told her he was leaving to León (340 kilometers, or some 210 miles, northwest from Madrid) for a few days. However, Goyo moved into the apartment of another of the prostitutes he pimped. He later called the first girl and told her he was in León, although he hadn't left Madrid. He asked her if someone 'had asked about him lately'. Goyo returned from his 'trip' a few days after Nati's body was found.
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An international affair?

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With that unexpected confession Goyo thereby became the main suspect for the mysterious murder of Nati Romero, the Tinaja Girl.
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When the word that Goyo had been arrested as a suspect for murder spread around, many girls mustered enough courage to speak up to LE about Goyo. It turned out that Goyo was a sadistic and violent pimp whose girls feared him enough to not to report even the most gruesome abuse. LE considered the girls' statements as very likely, as apparently they were quite consistent. In one particularly disturbing statement, Goyo had locked up one of the girls in his apartment and beat her up very badly. The girl managed to endure the beating, thinking that that would be all. But then Goyo had pulled out a pocketknife; this girl feared so much for her life that she jumped from the window (a 2nd floor) onto the street, and then hid under a car while a deranged Goyo screamed that he was going 'to rip her heart out' while looking for her. This girl had been found later that day by a police officer, who asked her who had attacked her. She insisted that a gang of teenage boys had jumped on her to take her money, never mentioning Goyo.
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What is more; Goyo had a big collection of 'tools' at home (he called them 'his toys') that he would use to discipline the girls. According to the women who came forward after his arrest, Goyo would administer, in his own words, 'pain or pleasure, depending of what the girl in particular required'. The full nature of these tools is never specified, though. A total of 54 women had come forward to tell LE what kind of monster Goyo was.
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Thanks to these reports, Lista and his team though they got a solid suspect in custody. It matched what they already knew about Goyo beforehand. He was often involved in street fights and had a reputation of being quick to pull out his knife when challenged or threatened. He was a very violent man, and the girls he extorted were absolutely terrified of him.
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Goyo was brought to trial. And then, when everyone thought that he'd be facing a long time in prison for the murder of Nati Romero, the whole case fell apart.
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First, Goyo denied ever having confessed killing Nati. He told the judge that he had been coerced into a confession and that he had been physically tortured.
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This wouldn't have gone further if not for what the defense came up with. Goyo had stated many times (according to the questioning with Lista) that he had used both hands to strangle Nati. However, the forensic doctor that had performed the autopsy had noticed that it just couldn't have been that way; whoever strangled Nati did so using only his right hand; the killer had used his left hand to pin Nati's right arm to the ground, making her more defenseless. Also, whoever killed her had hands much bigger than Goyo's (who was an average sized man).
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That wasn't all; Goyo said that after noticing that Nati had passed out he smacked her face several times trying to make her regain consciousness. But again, this didn't fit the forensic findings. Nati's facial injuries didn't suggest a few slaps in the face; they suggested a brutal beating, probably punched or knee'd several times in the face. Also, the facial injuries happened, in all likelihood, before being strangled, not after.
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The scenario provided by the forensic doctor and his team didn't suggest a quick murder like the one described by Goyo's confession. Nati had put up a tremendous fight against her attacker, reason why the killer had to pin Nati's right arm to the ground. The high amount of defensive wounds found in her body supported this scenario. If she panicked when she was attacked, she certainly did not freeze in fear.
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The confession is one of the darkest spots in this case. Manuel Lista was said to have never engaged in physical torture -which Goyo accused him of. However, his questioning methods could be considered psychological torture, at least nowadays. It's stated, though, that when Goyo was finally transferred from the station's cell to jail he had gone from 'dangerous hardened criminal' to a 'sobbing little boy' in the matter of a weekend.
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Because of the lack of evidence and the forensic findings pointing at a different story, Goyo was declared non guilty of the murder of Natividad Romero. This didn't mean he walked free though; he was sentenced to five years in prison for his pending pimping and theft charges. Goyo's lawyer appealed to the Supreme Court about his sentence; the appeal was rejected.
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Meanwhile, Nati's killer was still unidentified and likely at large. The Crime Brigade handed the case to the superintendent Antonio Viqueira. Viqueira (1916-1998) was a highly esteemed detective with an impressive resume; in 1958 he was behind the team that managed to catch the first official spree killers in Spain, José María Jarabo. He had also cracked several cult-related crime cases in the 1960's and 1970's, as well as apprehending a serial rapist who targeted prostitutes in the 1960's, using a clever strategy with the collaboration of the sex workers. Because of his brilliant career he was often invited for talks at Universities aimed at Crime Science students. Reportedly, he used to explain to these students that 'not only dead bodies talk; the objects found in the crime scene talk too'. And also that 'simplicity, along with logic, brings the truth to light'.
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Viqueira put his method to work in the Tinaja Girl case. Following his own experience, he paid attention to the objects found at the crime scene. Let's remember a particularly unusual item found near the tinaja were Nati ended up in; the matchbox.
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This matchbox was traced to a nightclub in Raleigh, North Carolina, in the United States. There was no way to buy it in Spanish territory, and locals would buy matches from Spanish companies. USAF airmen didn't frequent the abandoned house Nati was found at, making extremely unlikely that the matchbox had been there before Nati's murder. There were just two likely scenarios; a) Given her involvement with USAF African-American airmen -let's remember she had married one-, the matchbox belonged to Nati and b) it belonged to the killer.
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The Torrejón de Ardoz Air Base became the target of Viqueira's attention. He believed that the killer had ties to there. More so because according to the girl whose flat Goyo had hidden at, one time she casually discussed the Tinaja Girl case with him (whose investigation was often making headlines then) and Goyo had expressed; 'I think the Yanks did it, but don't go around talking about it'.
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In fact, Viqueira's inquires eventually led him to an USAF airman. He was known for patronizing prostitutes, was a physically large man... and he was also African-American. It seems that Viqueira managed to gather a significant amount of evidence against him, but the airman was never prosecuted. Some have speculated that neither American nor Spanish authorities wanted the case to move forward.
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A few words about US-Spain relations at the time. In December of 1959 Dwight Eisenhower became the first American president to make an official visit to Spain -some ten years earlier Truman had expressed his hatred towards the Francoist Regime, vowing to never visit Spain for as long as Franco ruled the country. Spain wouldn't receive the visit of another US president until October of 1970, when Richard Nixon met with Francisco Franco and the Monarchy at the Moncloa Palace. John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson had avoided visiting Spain while they were in office; both were vocal about their opposition to the Francoist dictatorship. US-Spain international relationship was not at its best during that time, and it started to improve slowly with Nixon. There had been recently another incident that had created a conflict between both countries, creating a sense of distrust among Spaniards towards Americans; the 1966 Palomares incident, whose social consequences had an impact even up to 1986, year in which a public referendum was held in Spain about remaining in NATO -Spain had joined in 1982, but not without a significant opposition from a good percentage of the Spanish people.
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By early 1970's both countries had improved their diplomatic relationship significantly, a trend that would later continue with Gerald Ford (who visited Spain in May of 1975, six months before Franco's death). Because of this, some believed that the Tinaja Girl case couldn't move forward. However, this was not the first case Viqueira had to accuse an American citizen of a serious crime; in August of 1960 an American woman named Mildred A. H. had rushed her 22-month old daughter Marcella H. to the Torrenjón de Ardoz Hospital with severe head injuries. She said that the little girl had fallen from her bed. Unfortunately, Marcella succumbed to her injuries that night. An investigation led by Viqueira ended up proving that Marcella's injuries had been caused after she had sustained a beating at the hands of her own father, Allen W. H., USAF sergeant stationed at Torrejón de Ardoz Air Base. Both husband and wife were arrested for the murder of the little Marcella; Allen as the culprit and Mildred as accomplice. Allen W. H. faced a court martial and was sentenced to prison. He ended up at the Leavenworth Penitentiary, in Kansas, where his sentence included penal labor. Apparently, the day after he murdered his daughter Allen had showed up to work, and his coworkers didn't notice anything odd or amiss; he looked absolutely calm and collected.
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Aftermath

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Whatever the true reason may have been, the African-American airman was never arrested. It could have been because the evidence gathered by Viqueira was not enough to warrant an arrest, but there's not much information about this.
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Gregorio 'Goyo' Ávila Sotoca has been the only person to ever face trial for the murder of Natividad 'Nati' Romero Rodríguez. Besides the African-American airman, no other suspect has come up in subsequent investigations.
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Once all the forensic work was done, Nati was buried on August 25th, 1969 at her hometown of Siles. While her family was very saddened about her early dead, they said that they were not surprised; Nati had been a very difficult person since a very young age, and was a matter of time before she would end up dead. She lived very fast, and died very young.
Another picture of Nati
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Goyo Ávila Sotoca passed away in September of 1998. He was 55-years old.
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The case remained cold until it expired in August 13th, 1989 due to statute of limitations. The investigation was abandoned more than 30 years ago.
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Some sources (Spanish)

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https://criminalia.es/asesino/el-crimen-de-la-tinaja/
http://elojocritico.info/los-casos-del-comisario-antonio-viqueira-y-ii/
http://manuelcarballal.blogspot.com/2008/07/los-casos-del-comisario-viqueira.html
http://psicokillers.com/el-crimen-de-la-tinaja/
https://espaciodeindrianiblog2.blogspot.com/2016/09/el-crimen-de-la-tinaja.html
https://www.libertaddigital.com/opinion/fin-de-semana/el-crimen-de-la-tinaja-1276230125.html
http://manoquemecelacuna.blogspot.com/2017/03/el-crimen-de-la-tinaja.html

Let me just preface this with yes, I always knew you shouldn’t flush tampons. They’re not biodegradable, they smell, and they’ll ruin the infrastructure of your pipes. I know all of this, and I have always known this since the first time I used a tampon and yet, hear my counterargument out; I’m lazy.
I lived in a cramped apartment building with your usual set of neighbours- cranky old lady, quirky office worker, single mom raising two terrors, and me. I was the down on her luck divorcee, who married too soon out of high school and paid the price. I moved away from my ex to this shitty block of flats just to have a sense of achievement about “having my own place”, which lasted only as long as I realised my room sucked.
And that wasn’t the only problem! Dana, the batty old crone who lived on the ground floor, was intent on stealing my newspapers. And then Beth-Ann, single mum to Carly and Carlton (what the fuck, right?!), would just let her kids run up and down the halls at all hours of the day and night. We both shared the second floor. She called it “huff and puff time!” and would sometimes join in. Like, I’m all for empowered women raising kids on their own but. Like. I’m also all for sleep.
And then there was Ethan. Something was just weird about him. We would come and go around the same time each day, and he’d always greet me with a smile and an awkward shuffle as we circled each other in the hall. He looked like one of those nerd type misogynists from highschool, all long-limbs and thin lips and beady eyes behind the wire-rimmed glasses. Not to say he wasn’t nice, but, man, there was just something strange about him that I couldn’t shake. We had shared a wine once in my apartment not long after he moved in- well, I had a wine, and he had told me he didn’t drink. But he had just given off too many strange vibes for me to accept his return invite.
I had just gotten promoted at my job, which meant earlier hours but not much more pay. So on top of my crazy neighbours that weren’t really helping my “turn your life around” movement that I was aiming for, I had to get up two hours earlier than usual. So yes. I did. In the wee hours of the morning when I was sitting on the toilet blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I’d fucking stand and plop! I’d flush my tampon.
I didn’t really think much of it until the building started to smell. And not just in a mouldy carpet sort of way, either. Far out, I mean the building had always been dank and cold, but this- this was different. And the drains started to back up, too. I had to unclog my toilet twice in one weekend, which pissed me off to the nth degree. Gross.
As a usual Monday went, I woke too early and stumbled to the bathroom to blink the spots out of my eyes. I had gotten my period two days earlier, so when I was awake enough I gritted my teeth and removed the thing, tossing it in the water and flushing without a second thought. I inserted another and went on with my early day, jingling my keys as I locked up.
“Andy! Hey!” Beth-Ann had a child under each arm and was lying halfway out of her door. I checked my watch and, damn, I had some spare time.
“Hey, Beth. Here, let me help.” I grabbed Carly and she screeched as I swung her into the air and safely back into her apartment.
“Have you noticed that smell?” Beth-Ann asked. Uh, yeah, I thought. Her apartment smelt like gross baby. But there was actually another smell, and even though it was too fucking early for this conversation, but I inhaled purposefully.
“Oh, ew, no. Not until you said that, anyway.” It was putrid, sweet almost. “What the fu- heck is that?”
“I’m not sure. But it’s nice to know I’m not crazy.” Beth-Ann took Carly from me and waved me out the door to work. “Thanks for your help!”
Two days later, I had the unfortunate luck to run into Dana on my way home. She was out the front, smoking a cigarette and staining the bud with her red lipstick. She had a newspaper tucked under her arm, and I bet it was mine.
“Babe,” She greeted me, and I waved back, hoping to avoid the conversation. “Have you smelled that?”
Dana gestured to the general vicinity around her with a shaky jerk of her head, so I assumed that was the smell now leaking into the whole building.
“Yeah, I don’t know what it is.” I shrugged. “It’s pretty gross though.”
“Smells like a bad burger, sweetie.” Dana flicked her ash at me as I nodded and walked inside. “Watch out for Ethan inside.” She added just before the door shut, and I rolled my eyes. The smell had gotten worse, slowly permeating the floorboards and walls. I raced up the stairs, hoping the stench would be better inside my own apartment but hit a roadblock on the landing before my floor. There, I had to slow to a crawl-pace and watch a lovely young drunk stumble up the stairs past my apartment with Ethan following closely behind. He caught my eye and shot me a small nod. When they were gone I could finally move again, but the smell was the same inside my room.
I had moved here probably a year and a half ago, and Ethan hadn’t even lived here a year. But damn, already I had caught him with four drunks on four separate occasions on the stairs heading to his room. This was the second time in two months, and he always looked elated, no matter if it was a man or a woman he was leading up the water-stained halls. I never saw them leave, so they must just have a quickie and not stay the night. I guess he wasn’t so odd that he didn’t have game. Good on him.
And then my toilet clogged again that night, that smell bubbling from the water, and I stopped thinking about Ethan’s libido because fucking yuck.
The very next morning, the smell, if it was possible, was worse. I did my usual routine- wake up, flush tampon, leave apartment, all the while haunted by the smell of old cat meat.
“Oh, Andy. Hello.” Ethan was coming down the stairs that were beside my apartment door. I shot him a strained smile.
“Morning, Eth,” I locked my door and joined him on the stairs. I was surprised he was up so early, considering his company from the night before.
“Have you noticed that smell?” He asked conversationally, rolling a shoulder. He looked a lot more alert than I would have been if I were in his position.
“Oh my god, yes,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “It’s so gross. And my toilet got blocked again last night, which made it worse,” I shouldered my way through the front door, holding it open for him. “Maybe it’s the plumbing?” Do mouldy pipes smell like that? I dunno.
Ethan blinked at me for a moment, and I noticed the rich pallor to his skin. Someone had had a great night. “Um, no.” He looked suddenly uncomfortable. “I don’t think it’s that. I don’t know what could be blocking the pipes for that to happen.” My stomach dropped. Shit. “Maybe it’s something next door…” He waffled on for a bit, but I had stopped listening.
Shit.
The tampons!
“Listen, sorry Eth, I have to go.” I almost ran to my car and drove to work, thinking frantically the whole time. Fuck! My tampons had blocked the pipes and now our building was fucking swimming in literal shit.
I got to work early and did the only sane thing to do- I googled what to do if apartment drain blocked. It turns out it’s the estate owner’s problem but I still felt guilty. I could sit around until someone else complained, but Ethan didn’t think it was in the realm of possibility and Beth-Ann was so busy the thought wouldn’t have even occurred to her, and Dana’s mind had left for the War forty years ago and never returned so. Fuck. It was up to me.
And I still had fifteen minutes before my shift started because I didn’t stop for my usual coffee, so I had time to call the estate owner. Great.
I felt like shit after I hung up, but at least it was done. I had explained the problem and they had agreed to send someone over as soon as they could. I spent all day panicking that I was going to get evicted for bunging up the plumbing or some shit, and I really couldn’t afford better than a stinky apartment. Shit.
When I arrived at the apartment that night, I expected my landlord, maybe the other tenants, ready to chew me out. What I did not expect was the police cordoning off our street with tape and flashing lights.
I pulled over and asked the closest officer what the fuck? After explaining I lived in the building he lead me under the tape and over to where Dana and Beth-Ann and her kids were standing. I noticed the drainage cover for our apartment was open but sectioned off with even more tape. People in full biohazard suits were standing near it, and holy shit something a lot more than fucking tampons had gone down.
Beth-Ann clutched at me. “Andy, Andy, holy god.” Her mascara was smeared, her hair everywhere. Carly and Carlton were uncharacteristically quiet, clutching their mother’s sweatpants.
“Tell me what’s going on?” I asked, and holy shit, they did.
Dana had seen it all. Apparently, someone from the council sent to look at our drains had arrived at about 2.00 pm. Dana had greeted him from where she had been outside smoking, and followed him to the drainage entrance to chat him up.
That’s when the shit had hit the fan. She had watched him go down the hole, and not even ten minutes later he emerged white-faced and panicked. He had ignored her questions and made a call, and then the police had shown up.
Human flesh. Human bones. Viscous fluid of unidentified origin. Straight-up guts.
That’s what had been blocking our drains.
The police explained it to us (what reason he had, I do not know. I suppose he wanted us to hear it from him rather than the tabloids). Ethan had been luring people into his apartment and strangling them to death, and then dismembering the bodies and… flushing the parts down the drain. The body parts had begun to block the pipes and cause a build-up of rotting flesh before I called the estate owner to send a plumber to fix the pipes. He had found small bones and viscous fluid in the base of the drain and called the police to investigate. What they discovered was at least four bodies defiled and crammed down the pipes, rotten and decaying in our drainage system.
And they also found some tampons.

Kiboshima Part 3: Justice of the Angels
“GRAAAAHHHH!” The beast known as Alpha001 cried in agony; its final breath was a rugged and labored one. Finally, it slumped onto the ground, sending up waves of dust and rock into the sky.
WOOSH!
From his ship, Commodore Numen widened his eyes in surprise. The lizard could have easily levelled the island if left unchecked, and yet a group of unidentified individuals had managed to bring it down - without marine assistance, no less!
“...Those pirates, hah, I guess they’re good for something.” Numen scoffed. The new generation had always been a thorn in his side, but it seemed that they had helped to save their drilling operations. And after he had called for backup, no less. No doubt those pesky admirals would get on his case for it. Actually, scratch that, pirates - still a pain in the ass.
While the day had seemingly been saved, the commanding officer still couldn’t help but feel a little wary. Ever since Obake, he had always regarded the new generation of pirates to be a bunch of lightweights. Sure, they had taken out marines in the past, but they were definitely nowhere near his or even Migigawa’s level. All this time, he had run with the assumption that they were nothing but an eventual enemy that would fall under his thumb. He hated to admit it, but this display of power was impressive. Perhaps the Immoral Pirates weren’t the only ones that he should be keeping his sights on.
Knock knock!
“Come in.” Numen said simply. As the door creaked open, his two subordinates came into view - a pink haired girl dressed in a black blouse and a blonde in the standard issue captain uniform. One look at their faces and he could already tell that there was trouble.
“Migigawa, Yashino. Updates. How is the drilling coming along?”
“Well… uhm…” Yashino laughed nervously as she twirled a stray lock of hair with her pointer finger. “...Not so good.”
“...What?”
The air immediately grew heavier as Numen bristled visibly, causing Migigawa to let out a small sigh. “The villagers. We’ve been played. Most of them are actually part of the Domino Pirates. The whole thing was a trap - none of the original villagers are here.”
“Explain.”
Yashino took out a stack of documents from under her arm and laid it on the table. “Commodore, the reports were right. Most the villagers were wiped out in the ‘calamity’ 10 years ago. The one caused by Ryokujo and his master Tenz. They were experimenting with a chemical known as ‘Zeta’. I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, but it’s the same thing that created the giant lizard abomination. Uck, so gross.” She shuddered visibly at that, to which Numen paid no mind.
The commodore pinched his nose bridge in exasperation, before turning to his right hand man. “Tsk, and I assume there’s no sign of the relic?”
“No sir. It seems that the supposed villagers are moving in. They’re planning on attacking us. They want to use Zeta to win this battle, and to show the world how powerful it is. Rumours have it that Ryokujo once had ties to the black market, and he’s planning on using this as a way of getting access back into the whole-”
“...Hnhahaha…” A low rumbling from the large marine’s chest caused his two officers to look up in alarm. With his head to his hand, a wry snarl started to spread across his face. “HNHAHAHAHAHA! Oh this is too good. Those… mongrels, thinking they can walk over us…” The man bellowed in laughter. He couldn’t keep it in, oh this was too good. Yashino and Migigawa turned to each other with a flicker of concern crossing their irises. “After the incident on Anchorage… blasted Lumirium’s party did us no good. No good at all. May she rest in peace, but fucking dragging our name through the mud...” The man got up, gesturing for the two to follow him out of the door. “We’ll crush the pirates. All of them. And then, they’ll know what it means to go against a battalion of the main force.”
The three then walked out of the captain's quarters, and onto the deck of the flagship. As ordered, the members of his squad were lined up in neat rows, standing tall as the harsh rays of the sun beat down against their caps and jackets. Numen nodded to his men, before addressing them with all his authority.
“Soldiers, all of you have been handpicked by me to join my battalion. You have brought the marines victory time and time again, and through our force and competence we have rid the world of evil. Today, it will be no different.” Placing his gauntlet clad hand across his chest, he raised his voice once again. “Rumours have proven to be true. Our intel suggests the villagers here are pirates in disguise. Wipe all of them out. Every, single one of them. Bring glory to the marines, and the kanji you wear so proudly on your backs! Do me proud, do yourselves proud!”
“SIR YES SIR!”
Officer and lackey immediately straightened up, visibly invigorated by the moving speech of their commodore. Resolve flickered across their irises in dull but steady sparks, reflecting the sentiment that each of them shared - to bring justice onto the pirates, and the Grand Line. With another battle cry, the marines marched off the boat and took to the shores. Waves of white and blue washed up onto the coast of Kiboshima, carrying countless steel carbines and scimitars. At last, it was time for them to move out. They were going to acquire the relic, and to that end there would be no cost too great.
As Numen turned back to Captain Migigawa and Commander Yashino, he noticed the two of them sporting an impressed look on their faces. The blonde man wore a crooked grin and a raised eyebrow, while Yashino had a small blush on her face and an even brighter smile.
“Kyaa! As expected of the commodore!”
“Good work sir, you rallied the men beautifully. Your will resonated with each and every single one of us, and I’m sure I speak for the battalion.” Migigawa offered a sharp salute as he finished his words, causing Yashino to huff in response.
“Geez, you’re such a suck up, y’know that?”
“Grahaha, the captain is right. That was quite a speech, lil’ Numen. Look at you, all grown up. It pleases me to no end.”
“...?” Numen turned abruptly at the sound of the new voice. He was normally sharp when it came to observing his surroundings, and not to mention he had two high tier members of the force by his side. Just who the hell could have sneaked up on him like that?
Then, his two officers noticed the two newcomers on the deck. Immediately, they felt the blood drain from his visage and dread well up in their very souls. Even Numen looked visibly shaken, his proud smirk suddenly muted in the golden rays in the sky above. The imposing behemoth of a man felt his mouth go slightly dry, his muscles tensing from what their joint presence entailed. Pressing his sunglasses to his face, he then moved his hand in a forced salute. “A pleasure… Sir Tribunali. Sir Asher.”
The moustached man known as Tribunali chuckled a little, adjusting his marine jacket with a swift tug. “Ohohohoo! Sir Tribunali he says! Now now, no need to be formal, the three of us go way back.”
“He’s right, lighten up lil Numey.” The younger man known as Asher smiled, his long purple locks swaying in the wind. Unlike Tribunali, he seemed to be much closer to Numen’s age. “You’ve always been the more… highly strung one, even in school. Lame. I’m way cooler than him, right Yashino darling?”
Captain Migigawa raised an eyebrow while Commander Yashino scowled a little. The anxiety they were feeling was no doubt not just because of the two marines who decided to join them, but the dangerous aura that their direct superior was emitting. Every single time the two opened their mouths, Numen seemed to get angrier, and angrier. He opened his mouth to speak, but immediately shut it tight and swallowed his retort upon better judgement.
“...So, seeing that you sirs are the ones to greet me, I assume that you’re the backup sent by HQ? The monster in question has already been subdued, by-”
“By pirates, hmm? Yes, we heard.” Tribunali perched his slender frame on the rail of the ship, flexing his double jointed arms in the process. “Well, we were sent anyway, to… check up on you, Numen. No, commodore.”
Asher sauntered forward, the smile not leaving his face. “To ‘actively observe’, if you will. Don’t want you croaking like poor Lumi, y’know. Well, not that the upper echelons care.”
“What’re you talking about? Of course we care. All of you are ‘proud soldiers of the cause’, and indispensable to the World Government’s cause. Right?” Tribunali said sternly, letting a silent second pass between the group. And then, all of a sudden, Asher and Tribunali felt their lips gradually arch upwards.
“...Heh….” Asher’s shoulders started to tremble in a snicker, and even Tribunali placed the back of his clenched fist against his mouth in an attempt to keep his composure. And then, a wry giggle erupted between the two.
“AHAHAHAHAH!”
If Numen was mad before, he was absolutely furious now. White knuckles underneath his gauntlets from clenching his fists too hard, and gritted teeth in an effort to remain silent; his hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent. His face turned a shade of scarlet from suppressed rage. Yashino stepped forward in an attempt to place a hand on the commodore’s back, but Migigawa’s extended hand immediately stopped her.
“No.” He shook his head, with a voice barely a whisper. “Don’t get involved. For his sake, too.”
Regaining his composure, Asher continued. “Anyway, we’re going to be joining the battle. We’re up to speed, don’t worry Numen-chan. Big brother Asher is here, or something.” The purple haired man started to walk to the deck. “We absolutely can’t let the relic fall into the wrong hands.”
Numen’s face immediately morphed from wrath into one of curiosity. “But its not confirmed if its even here anymore.”
“It’s here.” Tribunali said simply. “Calico’s hammer is here. I promise you that. I remember Jack back in my cadet days. And if memory serves right, then seizing his hammer is an absolute priority. We will operate on our own, Commodore Numen.”
From his perched state, he stood up and hobbled towards the deck. From the way that the older man limped, Numen could tell that something wasn’t right. Tribunali was one of the strongest, albeit the fastest in the force. In fact, it was him that personally taught some officer cadets the rokushiki skill ‘Soru’. Just what could have changed to make him so sluggish?
As if sensing Numen’s concerns, Tribunali turned around and waved his hand. “Hahaha, don’t worry about it Commodore. I’m fresh off an encounter I was assigned to. Y’know, the one two months ago.”
“...Radegast.” Numen pinched his sunglasses to his nose bridge in realisation.
“Precisely. They call him the strongest swordsman in the world, and I finally understand why. I’ve never seen anything like it. The way he moved, the way his swords spun… It was as if he launched three strikes with one swing. Anyway, another story for another time. The fact of the matter is that I wouldn’t be able to walk normally for a bit, not that it matters. Well then, cheerio! Ohohoho!”
With a slight heave, Tribunali hauled himself off the ship and gestured his companion to follow suit.
Asher nodded sharply, and immediately started to tie his long purple hair into a small bun. “We’ll be off, Numen-chan. And I really did mean it, by the way. That was a terrific speech. You really have grown. I’d expect nothing less from my rival.”
“...I thank you, sir.”
“Oh cut the shit out. Get that chip off your shoulder, eh?” Asher laughed callously as he jumped onto the railing. “Your resolve is shining through now, unlike those days back at the academy. Unlock that power soon and meet us at the top. Or, don’t. I don’t really care.”
As he balanced himself onto his feet, the coat on his shoulders fluttered wildly in the wind. The black kanji of justice danced like a hurricane on the darkest night - a symbol of oppression and power throughout the lands and seas. A symbol, of the justice of the angels.
Numen sighed, as he raised his head to the purple haired jock. “Power…?”
“The power required to wear our stripes. The stripes of an Admiral, dumbass.” Asher smirked and turned his head back one last time, setting his violet irises on his former classmate.
“The power, of Haki.”
-------
Back in the captain quarters
“...Fucking Asher. He thinks he’s hot shit. What the hell is wrong with him! And who decided to make him rear admiral?! You’re way cooler, by the way, commodore.”
“Shut up Yashino.”
“Call me Yarry-”
“I’m pissed right now.”
“...Yes sir sorry sir.” The pink haired girl squeaked softly.
From Numen’s desk, Migigawa sighed as he looked through the documents that Tirbunali had brought along with him. Everything that entailed the Domino pirates and Ryokujo seemed not to be out of the ordinary thus far, but he was getting some new intel about the new generation of pirates that supposedly had arrived on the island.
“General Notice - Kiboshima -
Items: New Generation (NB)
Total Number: est. 46
Noteworthy members: Red Rum Company, Mystic Pirates, Atlas Pirates, Eclipse Pirates (Disbanded).”
“That blasted fucking company, what the hell is their deal anyway. And who else? They took down that pushover shichi right?”
“I-imuet, sir? Yeah…” Migigawa gulped, remembering the terror that the wolf mink had brought upon both friend and foe. Truly someone worthy of the title of warlord.
Numen turned to his right hand man with an inquisitive furrow of his brow. “Shichibukai by name, Migigawa. You’d wipe the floor with him. Straighten up, I hand picked you for fuck’s sake.”
“I-I’m honoured you think that way, sir.”
Another sigh. Numen was doing a lot of that today. Flipping through the documents, he noticed that the back pages had bounty posters clipped onto it from newscoo. How thoughtful.
“So, Mystic pirates, Cynthia. Top 5 bounty. Defeated Gideon.”
“The bone guy? He was yucky! So yucky. Ew ew ew! He even hit on me once!” Yashino stuck her tongue out, but the two men paid her no mind.
“...Mystic pirates, are they a threat?”
“No. I haven’t heard anything about their other members. It’s just that one girl we oughta keep in mind. Though, they were the source of the most disruption on Obake. Remember that-”
“Holy SHIT, why the hell does she look so happy? Look at this!” Smacking the bounty poster, Numen turned to Migigawa with a snarl. “How the hell can you rob someone with that silly, cutesy smile? This’s a pirate, you say?”
“...Maybe that’s her trick…? Getting you off your guard?” Migigawa suggested.
Another sigh. Even Yoshino scowled a little as well; after all, she hated the innocent types.
“Okay, we can’t waste much more time. Parcival of the Eclipse pirates. Also did in Kwang. Hated Kwang, by the way. And fucking hell. These newbies don’t fear the World Government, do they?”
The man eyed the creepy looking bounty poster a bit, and wondered how much black ink must have been used for each copy, before moving on.
“Zetsuki, top 5 bounty. Elizabeth Black, top 5 bounty. Did in Imuet. Those will be the ones we will have to look out for the most, among all of them. Oi! Yashino! You’d better be taking notes. I’ll kill you if you’re not.”
“EEP!”
“So those are the ones that took out the shichi crew officers. Good riddance, anyway. All devil fruit users… poor them. I’ll take great pleasure in crushing their pathetic powers. Y’all take a look at these faces good. Especially the leopard and the vampire...thing.” Numen smirked as he placed a cigar to his mouth, before continuing.
“Now, Migigawa, point out to me who did in the marines.”
The aura in the room immediately darkened. Even Yashino seemed to have lost her energy and excitement from before. As cautiously as he could, the man drew out two bounty posters from the stack and placed them in front of him.
“Aile, of the Red Rum Company. Top 5 bounty. Fought Captain Lumirium, the latter KIA.”
Yashino’s ears twitched at that. She had always liked the girl; to think that she had been done in so easily, too.
Numen narrowed his eyes. “...That’s graffiti boy?”
“Yes, sir.”
The commodore remained silent as Migigawa continued. “And the white head. Linette Shaw, of the Eclipse. Fought Commander Sasha, the latter still active. She apparently handed the slime girl back to the marines. Commodore, listen, this information is not confirmed, but some seamen were stated to have seen the graffiti boy and her together at the end of the civil war.”
“...” Numen took a long, hard look at the two visages of the bounty poster. “Doesn’t matter. None of this matters. Remember their faces. We’ll teach them a lesson.”
Somehow, he didn’t seem to recognize the two who had confronted him on the island. The fire-wielding musclehead or the T-rex zoan were not among those that Migigawa had brought up. They probably weren’t a big deal, if that were the case. If they appeared before him again, they would meet a swift and timely death.
The blonde captain cleared his throat. “And the ones who did in the rebels-”
“I don’t care.”
With a dismissive wave of his hand, the commodore got up and put his coat on. Cracking his knuckles, he adjusted the cigar in his mouth and walked out. “Yashino! Get all that information out to all of our forces. Every single one of them.”
“...Including the rear and vice admirals, sir?”
“Yes. Although they probably already know. Fly there, be quick.”
“Gotcha!” Flashing a wink, she crouched low to the ground. Jet black wings started to sprout on her back, and the girl spread them proudly. Not only were they much larger than an average skypiean wings, the texture and shape was entirely different. Instead of the usual feathery appearance, they were comprised of black lines with hollow spaces in between.
Taking her set of notes, she sauntered to the door in a sultry catwalk, swaying her hips hypnotically in an attempt get Numen’s attention. Alas, to no avail.
“I’ll be done with this real quick. And then, I’ll slaughter some good for nothing pirates. It’ll be a massacre, SHIAHAHAHAHA!”
And with a quick leap into the sky, she was gone. The room suddenly grew a lot quieter. It was times like this that they finally realised just how much noise that one woman was capable of producing.
...Another sigh. Hopefully the final one for awhile.
Numen got ready to head out himself, but quickly stopped and turned to Migigawa. “I forgot. Did you take care of that pesky dude on the flying dino? Pterodactyl? Was that what its called?”
“Yes sir.” The blonde smiled. “He was no match for my powers. Flying enemies tend not to be.”
“Oh, alright then-”
“And sir…”
Numen turned with a questioning furrow of his brow. The blonde captain’s smile was getting wider and wider, an expression that was not by any stretch common on his face.
“Migigawa?”
“And I happened to get an extremely.... Delectable souvenir. Spoil of war, if you’ll call it that.” Reaching out to the corner of the room, the man grabbed a long thing covered in bandages. “Behold, my captain, I present to you something crafted from the very relic itself...”
-------
With Meeko
“Haa...haa… fuck.” The middle aged man panted furiously for breath, leaning on his pet Pterodactyl as they finally returned to the Grotto. The dinosaur known as Icky Blicky nuzzled its owner with a concerned beak; while it had taken some damage during the fight with the blondie, it was nowhere as severe as what Meeko had to deal with.
“Thanks, Icky.” The man patted the dinosaur’s head in response. “I must’ve gotten rusty after all these years. Plus, those chains… that was a horrible matchup.”
“GUUUU?” The dinosaur called out in a concerned voice, as if responding. Meeko looked at the dinosaur with another sad smile.
“Don’t worry about Heavenly Axis. What matters is that the marines don’t have the relic. It can create a Saijo every decade or so. But yeah, hopefully nothing else falls into their grubby hands.”
The man spat as he slumped to the ground. He was going to need to tend to his own wounds before he could move again. With a small sigh, he looked to the sky with a gaze lost in thought.
“Oh Calico, my Captain, give me strength.”
Right around the corner of the Grotto, an oviraptor started to creep forward.
----
With Ryokujo:
The lead scientist of Kiboshima’s glasses sunk down his nose. His messy black hair dangled over his face, leaving a dark forecast over his eyes. “How could they overpower my alpha so quickly?... How could it also be a failure?” His right side was shaking in anger. The giant salamander that had slumbered for a whole decade was wiped out in less than a few hours.
Ryokujo’s teeth gritted as he began to glide through the live feeds on his monitors. His cybernetic arm was still hooked up to his control panel, and he was checking up on the rest of the island. He noticed many more marine vessels had shown up. “Muhaha, I bet they brought a few extra hands to deal with my Alpha.”
The biochemist pushed his glasses back up to his eyes as he zoomed in and noticed the coats the men were wearing. The flesh on the better half of his face curled into a smile, “Yes. Yes. YES! They brought a VICE ADMIRAL. MUHAHAHA, FOOLS! YOU FELL FOR IT! Now it’s time for my real masterpieces to take the field.”
The cyborg craned his head as he shouted over his shoulder, “ASSISTANT!”
A man with a warped figure stepped from the shadows made by the massive monitors. He didn’t say a word, but the clicking of his shoes alerted Ryokujo of his presence.
“Prepare the experiments for presentation. The human too. No one is leaving this island alive!”
The assistant nodded before turning to leave. He had a slight limp that added a discrepancy in the rhythm of his footsteps, so his mentor knew he had heard the order.
“Oh, Silent,” Ryokujo said, seemingly having something to add. The assistant stopped just before exiting. “Don’t forget the backup plan. It’ll be our last resort. Our ‘Ace in the Hole’.”
The man walked off. The biochemist knew he could count on his assistant.
As soon as he was alone, Ryokujo’s cybernetic arm began to hum as it interacted with the control panel again. This was the most important part of the presentation; it was the whole reason he was doing all of this. He began to call “Eight Queens” Ocho, the Paradise head of the Black Market.
Gachak!
“Yes? You’ve called “Eight Queens,” how can I help you?”
“It’s me.”
“I’m sorry, if you have scheduled an appointment with Ms. “Eight Queens,” please state your name and I’ll put you on the line with her shortly.”
“...”
“Shishishi! Did I get you?”
The female head of Paradise loved to provoke those who she didn’t take seriously. Ryokujo had a lot to prove here, and she showed little interest. Ryokujo went straight into it, ignoring her tease. He was confident that his creations would disprove any doubts the paradise kingpin my have about him.
“We’re starting. Get anyone who you think you might be interested on the line. If you have a monitor that can connect to a visual den den mushi, then turn it on. I’m broadcasting the feed live. Let me know when everyone’s ready and I’ll start my presentation.”
“...”
Ocho was silent for a moment, but it seemed she was hiding her giggles. Another girl’s laugh was heard, signalling she wasn’t alone.
“I’ve got ‘Monster Surgeon’ right here, shishishi. Right, Emily?”
“Yep!”
“You remember her, right? She controls the Biological markets.”
“... What? What happened to that one guy? What was his name?”
“Doesn’t matter. There’s a pretty high turnover rate in this line of work. You understand. Whoever controls the position uncontested gets the title.”
Ryokujo gritted his teeth yet again, making a metallic grinding noise with his cybernetic parts. It seems the Black Market was as chaotic as ever. Things had already changed a lot since his last dealings with them, but it didn’t matter. He had a chemical to pitch.
“Wait, also, I owe a favor to my friends over with the Domino Pirates. They’ve been helping me with my whole operation, and they’d like to be viewed in action by the Mercenary broker.”
“Shishishi! Domino Pirates? I haven't heard that name in AGES! DAMN! You must have a thing for fossils; it sounds like they’re all over the place on that island! Shishishi!”
The other girl’s laugh could be heard behind Ocho’s. The scientist usually would rebuttal immature banter like this, but he was too focused.
“Just get him in the call. You have my word. No one would want to miss this.”
---
“Oi, we doin’ this yet? I’m a busy man.”
“Shishishi, oh, nice to see you too, Franco.”
It seemed “Eight Queens” wasn’t too pivy about protecting their identities. Or she just really didn’t see Ryokujo as a threat.
“Shut up, bitch. How many times do I got to tell you to use my codename on these calls?”
“Awe, but your codename totally sucks. ‘No Typo’? Like, what? You don’t even own a typewriter.”
“...Yeah. I write everything by hand and never make any errors. It sounds cooler when you use my whole name with it. Franco ‘No Typo’ Fidelio”
“Didn’t you just say not to use your name? Now you’ve said your entire name WITH your codename.”
“...Fuck off”
Ryokujo got an alert on his monitor. It was Silent, his assistant. Everything was ready to go now. Three dark silhouettes adorned some of the scientist's monitors. “Eight Queens,” “Monster Surgeon,” and “No Typo” of the Black Market were listening in. Even though the majority of Mercenary and Biological markets were in the New World, Ryokujo had at least had enough weight to get their attention, which was all he needed for now.
“Ahem!”
The scientist stood, hoping the brokers had their monitors for the viewing. They all stopped their talking, offering a somewhat respectful amount of attention to Ryokujo.
“Thank you all for your time. Now, allow me to explain all of this. I have created a very powerful drug-”
“YAWN! Keep it short will you? Shishishi, I want to SEE it. Not listen to you explain it. You can tell ‘Monster Surgeon’ all the boring stuff after we can see what it can do.”
Ryokujo had never been more insulted in his life. His messy hair seemed to stand on end as his cybernetic parts let off static. But he had to remain calm. This was his last shot at leaving his mark on this world. He was at the mercy of three of the scummiest people around.
“Very well then!”
SWOOSH
Ryokujo stepped away from his control panel, swinging his long lab coat in a wide arc as his metallic limb disconnected from the control panel.
“I think you pissed him off, ‘Eight’”
Emily sounded slightly concerned, although there was a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
“CAMERA 003!”
The display the brokers were viewing quickly changed. What was once Ryokujo’s headquarters had now became an upper angled shot of a cell. A human was chained limply to a wall. He was suspended in a standing position, bound by his wrists.
Ryokujo stepped in the cell, toting a massive syringe attachment on his robotic left arm.
“Assistant, feed him the devil fruit.”
Silent stepped forward, scraping off a small piece of a glistening watermelon. The pattern was definitely that of a devil fruit, and the quiet assistant crammed a mouthful down the unwilling man’s throat. He was obviously too weak to fight back, and Silent did it in such a fluid motion. He must have done this countless times now. Ryokujo stroke a pose with his arms bent at weird angles in front of his chest and his legs more than shoulder with a part as his lab coat seemed to flow behind him.
“Brokers? Are you watching? First we feed him the fruit. Just to show you that this man has no prior experience with its abilities. NOW! We will administer our drug, Zeta to him. Watch!”
The scientist jammed the huge needle into a spot right above the man’s collar bone. He moaned in protest, but even with the new devil fruit, he was much too weak to defend himself.
Ryokujo and Silent quickly left the cell, closing it behind them. After walking out, the cell seemed to ascend like an elevator. By the time it reached the surface of Kiboshima, the man was writhing in pain, yanking and shaking his chains.
“Ahhh AHHHHH RAAAAGHGHHHHH!”
The human experiment’s body began to emit an oddly thick mist that obscured his figure entirely. His body had transformed completely into an element. A logia fruit.
FWOOOOM!!
The mist began to pulse out like a wave, harmlessly blowing over the entire island, leaving no trace of the man behind.
“CAMERA 004! CAMERA 005! CAMERA 006!!”
Three different wide views of the island took up the screen the brokers were viewing.
“I’ve gathered many strong pirates of the last generation, marines, revolutionaries, and cipher pol alike!! Some of them thought they were being sneaky, but little do they know, I see EVERYTHING! MUHAHAHA! They’re looking for a relic, but the only thing they’ll find here is their graves.”
Right as Ryokujo said that, a huge dome of dense and high powered mist covered the entire island. No one on Kiboshima could escape now. Marines and pirates alike were now trapped for the fight of their lives; they were all pawns in Ryokujo’s plan. He was going to use them to show how strong his creations were.
“That mist logia has just been force awakened. That pressurised steam is strong enough to slice a man in half. MUHAHAHA! I WOULD KNOW! CAMERA 007!”
The display changed to show three huge dinosaurs. A stegosaurus, triceratops, and most notably, a tyrannosaurus stood tall. Giant vats stood empty behind them, showing their birthplace to the brokers. Their reptilian bodies were adorned with several cybernetic enhancements. It seemed Ryokujo spared no expense at making his creations as powerful as possible.
“These are my Perfect Alphas! They are a product of the combined study of me and my late master, Tenzo. Which is why I named the strongest one after him. Perfect Alpha, Model: Tenzo! Neal and prepare for mounting!”
The t-rex lowered its neck at Ryokujo’s command. It seemed he had full control over these beasts, unlike the salamander from before. The scientist used his cybernetic arm to grapple and jump onto the neck of Tenzo. Upon sitting, he threw up his lab coat covered arms in a Z shape. Z for Zeta. What a cool guy.
“Stay tuned brokers! I won't be able to talk much from now on, but I hope you get an eyeful of what me and my science are capable of!”
Ryokujo signaled to his assistant who immediately pressed a button.
“Perfect Alphas! TO THE SURFACE!!”
Each reptile let out a threatening roar as the soil of Kiboshima shook. The fighters who were confused about the mist barrier were about to be in for another surprise.
KABOOOOM!!
Much like a volcano, a large area seemed to swell through the peak of the hills that housed the catacombs. With the power of their devil fruits, all three perfect alphas burst through the ground. Rock and debris were shot straight up into the air. The rubble flew upwards until they collided with the top of the dome, where they were completely turned to dust.
The three perfect Alphas had made their first steps onto their new kingdom. With the assistance of the Domino Pirates, they aimed to kill everyone on the island. What a more perfect debut for Ryokujo’s perfected creations.
-------
In the forests of Kiboshima
“RETREAT! WE’RE BEING PUSHED BACK!” Elder Saif shouted at the top of his lungs as his forces ran towards the village center. Now that the once disguised elder of the villager had revealed himself to be the captain of the Dominos Pirates, nowhere was safe for them. There was no turning back for him or his disguised crew. Rushing back to the center was the only move they could make.
“ARGH!” A cry rang out from the distance, causing a cold chill to run down his spine. Whether it was villager or pirate, it didn’t matter to the marines whatsoever. They kept pushing forward, destroying all life in their path.
“SHIAHAHAHAHAHA! DIE!” The feminine voice of Yashino echoed with a tinge of maniacal joy as she ripped through the head of a young boy on the ground. The high pitched scream was immediately muffled, as blood splattered across the ground in a crimson arc.
“...I’m pretty sure that wasn’t a pirate.” Migigawa said simply as Yashino giggled in response.
Saif looked in the distance and immediately turned around. “Shit, shit shit shit, they’ve no regard for human life. BACK TO THE CENTER!”
“Captain, they’re killing villager and pirate alike, we have to stop them. The innocents-”
“SCREW THE INNOCENTS! They don’t mean shit whether we win or lose. Sacrifices must be made, soldier. Straighten up!”
As Saif ran further back into the woods, the pirate gritted his teeth in despair. Whether he liked it or not, his captain was right. They needed to do this, no matter the cost. It was all for the stupid black market that the supposed elder had fixated on those years ago. He could only hope that Saif was right about it being their ticket to fame and fortune.
As the remaining Domino Pirates pulled up in the center, they suddenly froze in fear. Stopping abruptly, they noticed in front of them were the lumbering forms of three giant dinosaurs. A stegosaurus, an ankylosaurus, and on top of a Tyrannosaurus Rex was the mad scientist, Ryokujo himself.
Saif felt the corners of his lips arch upwards into a smile, his once panicking irises slowly filling with relief and hope.
“We’ve won.” He chuckled, his eyes widening slowly to a maniacal degree. “WE’VE WON! WE’VE WON BOYS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
Ryokujo wore a proud smirk as he gave a small pet to the Tyrannosaurus below him. “Tenz, if you’re watching up above, we’ve done it partner.”
“Alphas, move out. Kill anything in your path.”
GRAAAAH!

OOC: The battle for Kiboshima is here! Marine forces are pitted against the Domino pirates. Because the Domino pirates were disguised as villagers, the marines are killing any people on the island indiscriminately, innocent or pirate. The Domino pirates are also using the real villagers as collateral and meat shields in their guerilla warfare. Things will only get even bloodier with the Alphas. The marines are on the lookout for any new generation pirates (you guys), as the Numen battalion and vice admirals have your bounty posters and are going to avenge their prior losses.
There is no escape. Its survival of the fittest. Fight for your life.
A player can choose to tag NPC-Senpai to be involved with Red NPCs once in the entire “Justice of the Angels” post. For each player involved in that thread two NPCs can be fought. So if one player tags they could try and fight up to two Red NPCs, or a Red NPC and a Green NPC. However if someone is combining Red & Green they will BOTH be controlled by NPC-Senpai in that thread. Multiple fights and threads with Green NPC are fine.
If you choose to fight a Green NPC tag NPC-senpai for the first reply. He will set the stage and you'll be free from there to fight them as you see fit. Have fun!
Please note: after the bossfight, the team will vote for the "overall best canon thread", and said player will receive an additional reward, on top of canon.
Bossfight NPC List

Previously, on Island of Challenges...
A mess was formed, and a very colorful one at that, our Final 15 campers fought for invincibility AND icesuckles in the paintball hunting game of the ages! Blood was drawn, lives were lost, but with precision, skill, and definitely a lot of luck... the Snarky Sharks once again snagged a victory from the Mellow Mouses!
While some Sharks spent the hot day cooling down, others just begun heating up! When our two resident couples entered a faithful eavesdropping sequence, many truths were exposed... or so they thought. Taylor and The Syncopation grew further apart after a misunderstanding, while the relationship of Sammy and Don only got closer.
After yet another loss, Flik started questioning whether sticking around Sass was good for her, but wasn’t completely sure of which side to take yet. While Dylan felt like it was finally time for him to step out of the shadows, he organized a very confusing setup, tricking others into voting in such a way where no matter who left, someone would be left shocked and mad... it would for sure end up badly...
However, all that work ultimately didn’t amount to anything, since the votes did not matter at all! Kaity was pinpointed as the culprit of the burning of Sagebay Island, and as such, due to prompting from the authorities... she was disqualified from the competition, leaving all the Mouses with their jaws hanging on the floor! They may want to bring them up so no ants crawl in.
Regardless, with this very shocking elimination, how are the Mouses coping with it? Will they ever make a comeback against those wicked Sharks? Will any more relationships be destroyed today? Because that’s been happening a lot lately!
Find out the answers to all these questions, and more, right now! on ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
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Episode 10: Barnacle Heads!

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Current Status:
Snarky Sharks: Angelina, Don, King, Logan, Pratyush, Sammy, Taylor and The Syncopation
Mellow Mouses: Dylan, Flik, Ian, Surf, Sass and Violet
—————
The remaining six Mouses are seen getting ushered out of the campfire area and onto the main camp, it was a difficult task, as most of them were still in a state of shock from Kaity’s disqualification.
Dylan comes across Flik, who was writing something in a notebook, he sits down beside her and asks what she’s doing. She smiles at him, and shows what she had written, it’s a bunch of illegible scribbles, Dylan facepalms, mumbling he should have expected that. Regardless, Flik explains her thought process, she wanted to trace back the votes, so they could find out what could have happened had Kaity not been ejected. He’s shocked, because it’s actually a good idea, he relays everything he knew, and after a little dwelling, they come to the conclusion that: Sass voted Kaity, Violet and Kaity voted Sass, while Ian and Surf voted Dylan. Only two votes remained, theirs.... they both admit to voting Kaity, which means she would have been eliminated anyway. Dylan comments it’s a slightly reassuring thought that nothing would have changed, Flik seemed upset, she tells him she didn’t want to vote for Kaity... but she didn’t really have a choice. He asks her why she always does what Sass wants instead of what she wants... she doesn’t have an answer, Dylan stands up, and says that if Flik ever wants to make a move, she can hit him up, before leaving to let her think more.
In the girls’ side of the cabin, a contrast between Sass and Violet was present, the goth was tried to sleep so the sadness of losing her friend would ease off, while the model couldn’t stop giggling. Violet finally had enough, she goes up to Sass and asks what is her problem, how could she act like that after what had happened!? The model eyes her, before telling her it’s a game, it’s irrelevant at the end of the day. So... she basically means she doesn’t see her actions as personal? Violet questions how excluding her from the majority wasn’t emotionally charged, given how she saw her as a “weirdo”. Sass responds it had nothing to do with how she saw her, otherwise she wouldn’t have aligned with her in the first place, the model just sees her as a threat, she wanted to cut her as soon as she could... but never got the opportunity, Violet to some extent feels the same way, while she doesn’t like her, she also sees Sass as an obstacle, avoiding elimination several times after everything she’s done takes some level of skill. They stand in silence for a moment, before Sass tells Violet she’ll keep it down, both go to sleep... with an odd newfound respect for each other.
At the beach, Ian raises an eyebrow as Surf shows him the castle he and Kaity had built 3 days ago, he questions how he never noticed it was there, and the surfer tells him most of the campers seem to be unaware of the stuff that really goes down on the island. While his friend’s back is turned, Surf spots a bear standing up on two paws walking by the forest, the animal waves at him with a smile, and he happily waves back. His attention is taken back to Ian when the same asks him what he is going to do with it, Surf kicks off a part of the castle, making it collapse, he says somewhat embarrassed that he promised Kaity he would destroy it. Ian smiles and pats him on the back, adding that he did the right thing by fulfilling his word, making Surf grin, the two watch as the thousands of ants that had made a home out of the now destroyed building begin crawling out of the sand in panic.
—————
Confessionals:
Ian: (He rubs the back of his neck), Man, my jaw still hurts from how much I left it hanging. Kaity didn’t even mean to start the fire in the first place, which only makes things worse. And of course, I lost an ally and a friend at the same time! I need to find a way to turn things around for us... we need to win a challenge after everything we’ve been through lately.
Violet: That conversation with Sass opened my eyes... I should start taking this game in a more direct approach, that way I won’t feel so bad when I have to betray people, find ways to throw others under the bus and manipulate my opponents- (she stops for a second) Dammit! I’m starting to sound like my father! But again, it’s for a million dollars, only one of us is getting it at the end...
Surf: Homie, the people on this island really don’t give much of a thought to their surroundings, do they? It’s way more fun living here than the others make it out to be! It’s a shame it all gets overshadowed by the drama, if everyone just sat down one day to relax, I’m sure we’d all have a great time together!
Dylan: Flik has impressed me, but... she’s still not the brightest, she’s showing herself as someone I can trust due to our friendship, but also use as a guinea pig for strategies. (he laughs in a cocky tone) Sass is overlooking just how much using Flik could actually benefit her, I wonder how would she react if she was eliminated by the same person she thinks she’s been controlling this entire time...
—————
A few days later, the contestants are called to the mess hall, specifically the kitchen, Chef Helga stood on the counter eyeing the campers with a stare that could melt steel. She states the host will be away for a week due to legal problems with the burning of Sagebay Island, while he’s gone... she’ll be in charge.
Gulps can be heard from all directions, she may be a tiny old lady, but they were all scared of what she could do, now that she’s taking the host’s place, she has even more power! How would you not be shaking in your boots!? She slams her wooden spoon on the counter to get everyone’s attention:
“Welcome to your ninth challenge, barnacle heads. Since I’ve been making breakfast, lunch, dinner and other rewards for y’all, it’s time for you to repay your end of the deal! We’ll be doing a classic from my time... a cooking battle. You must prepare three separate dishes, an entrance, a main course and dessert. You will be judged on how well made said food is by me... and a face you’re all very familiar with”
As Helga finishes her statement, someone enters the mess hall, to the surprise and dismay of the Mouses... it was Ana. She glared at their fallen faces, Sass on the other hand did not seem upset at all, she had a sly smile plastered on her face:
“That excuse for a woman and I will be rating ya’ll’s dishes with a scoring system that goes from a tiny 0 all the way to a perfect 10. The group with the most points wins invincibility, IS. THAT. CLEAR!?”
Everybody nods in fear. She informs both teams they’ll have to elect a head chef, who will both lead and present the dishes when they are finished. Don and Violet step forward, shocking a few, however, no one had problems with them taking charge. Helga gives them 3 hours to prepare everything they need, as she and Ana leave, a kitchen timer can be heard ticking... time is everything when it comes to cooking, so they better start moving.
For the Sharks, Don suggests they should pair up with whoever they can work with the best. Everybody is content with the idea, after a minute, Angelina looks around, and notices she’s the only one without a partner. Logan, Pratyush and King had already gone off to make the entrance dish... she was stuck between choosing Sammy and Don or Taylor and The Syncopation, she didn’t like either, but the former pair was more tolerable, making her choice obvious. Sammy and Don warmly welcome her despite how she had been acting, she comments “it’s gym class all over again”, even though she never even went to high school.
Since the Mouses had 6 people, they need to form 3 pairs, Ian suggests doing what the Sharks did, while Sass believes they should let the goth choose the duos, she’s the head chef after all. Violet could smell from a mile away what the model was doing, make her do important decisions so if they lose, she’ll take the blame... well, if she wants to play, she won’t hold back, she goes along with Sass‘ idea, and pairs up everyone, she takes Dylan for herself, while she teams up Sass and Ian, leaving Surf and Flik to themselves.
—————
Confessionals:
Ana: That’s right, I’m back bitches! Not permanently, but I’ll take what I can get, life has been good, but I haven’t forgotten how my elimination went down! If you think the Mouses stand any chance at winning this challenge with me here... you are sorely mistaken.
Logan: Crud, I don’t know how to cook... my dad is from the military! We eat everything raw! How am I supposed to help here!? Stupid Chef Helga... why can’t we just keep having physical challenges? (he points at himself angrily) I’m amazing at those!
Flik: Normally cooking! When mean I doesn’t take house my too! I’m literally... good hope happen though, here I down at love because I doesn’t some I this let’s it too burn apparently try instructions.
—————
Pratyush begins ordering Logan and King around, they were at a time strain, so he was a little pushy. When questioned by Logan on whether he actually knew how to cook, Pratyush states he’s not the best, but he’s more organized and attentive than both him and King combined, which the jock thinks is a fair point. As time goes on, their dish turns out... ok, it was clearly burnt, but King states they should leave it as it is, as he doesn’t feel like they’ll be able to do better. Pratyush on the other hand doesn’t share his sentiments, he makes them try again, there’s always room for improvement.
Don is impressed with how well Angelina follows his instructions, she comments on how trash talking cooking channels eventually led her to learning a thing or two about making food. When she asks Don on his abilities, he states somewhat vulnerably that it wasn’t always like this for him... his father left him and his sick mother at a young age, so he had to learn how to take care of himself and support his mom at the same time. Angelina doesn’t know what to say, the mood becomes awkward and somber. Out of the blue, she says his mom must he proud of the man he grew up to be, surprising both Don and her... regardless, Don smiles at her, adding he didn’t expect to hear that from her, she comments she didn’t either.
A similar scene occurs with Dylan and Violet, the former voices his thoughts on how he didn’t expect the goth of all people to step forward as the head chef. Violet, like Don, explains why she’s good at preparing food, her parents divorced, and her mother got most of the childcare time, but since she’s a charity volunteer, she’s not the most present in the house, her father is also a terrible cook, so she’s normally the one who makes dinner for him whenever she’s there. After a while, her skills got more sharpened until where she stands nowadays, unlike Angelina, Dylan doesn’t act too sympathetic, in fact, midway through her story, he got bored and went over to check on Flik and Surf, making Violet pretty angry.
Flik and Surf show Dylan the dessert they created, a neat looking pie! He takes a bite out of it, and immediately regurgitates what he ate! When he looks inside, he notices a green and slimy texture. Dylan asks what ingredients they used, Surf says they used beetles, like the recipe book asked, Dylan takes a look at said book, and after he reads it, he shoves it in the surfer’s face, angrily yelling they were supposed to make a BERRY pie, not a BEETLE pie. Surf and Flik share a look, they knew they had fucked up, but before they could ask Dylan how to fix it, he was already running out the door towards the nearest toilet.
Ian looks at his team, Violet is doing everything by herself, but her anger is making her distracted, Flik and Surf are panicking for god knows what reason, while Sass and Dylan are nowhere to be found, the Sharks on the other hand seemed to be doing great, they’re all getting along. He sees the model walk into the kitchen, and begs her to help him make one good dish, as he doesn’t want to lose another challenge, Sass tells him not to worry, she made sure they won’t see the campfire ceremony today after seeing how chaotic things became. Ian raises an eyebrow at her confidence, she tries to reassure him, saying to trust her on that one, and he claps back that he did so in the past, which didn’t end well for him... but then sighs in defeat, because he doesn’t have any better ideas.
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Confessionals:
Dylan: (Dylan is not in camera view, all that can be heard is the sound of him vomiting nonstop)
Pratyush: I proud myself in my organization skills, at least in real life... not so much when it comes to my game. I like King, but he’s a little too immature and inconsistent, while Logan is a dense asshole 80% of the time. And yes, I know this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but you get the point, I wasn’t going to let them make a mess out of our dish!
Angelina: Dammit! (she facepalms) I have no idea why I comforted Don... but now I feel bad about leaving Sammy hanging a week ago, even after that... she’s been treating me with nothing but kindness and respect. Should I try and make things right with her? (she rolls her eyes) ugh, game, stop forcing me to think about other people’s feelings!
—————
Time is up! A stern looking Helga enters the mess hall along with Ana, who seemed nervous for some reason. The teams reunite and put their dishes on the table for the two ladies to judge them.
The Sharks were up first, Don presents what they made confidently, the entrance is french fries, the main plate is a whole turkey, while the dessert is a chocolate cake, everything is neatly put together. Helga seems to enjoy every dish, but does point out it’s still amateurish, regardless, they did quite well, Ana on the other hand nitpicks every single thing about their food, and forces displeasure whenever she takes a bite.
The Sharks’ final score is...
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...21/60.
Helga gave them 7’s on every dish, while Ana didn’t give them a single point.
After that came the Mouses, Violet lacks enthusiasm when selling what her team prepared. The entrance was... a burnt pretzel, the main dish was undercooked spaghetti, and dessert was... a beetle pie. They both vomit after tasting the pie, Helga complains this is one of the most horrible presentations she’s seen on her career, while Ana... seems to be crying, but she tries to hide it, she gives every single dish universal praise.
The Mouses’ final score is...
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...30/60.
Helga gave them no points at all, while Ana gave every plate 10’s across the board.
Helga eyes Ana with a clear judgement of her scoring decisions...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Nonetheless, she announces the Mouses as the winners, she can’t be bothered to do a recount.
The Mouses erupt in celebration, they had been longing for the chance to redeem themselves, and that moment was now. Helga adds that along with invincibility, they’ll be able to eat everything they have prepared as a reward! Hearing this, they all burst out of the mess hall. She sighs and turns to the Sharks, commenting it’s been a while since their last loss, but now... they’re back on the chopping block, she’ll look forward seeing who they’ll choose to devour.
—————
The Mouses come back to camp with a sense of fulfillment, sure, it was a very questionably earned win, but they didn’t care, one round of safety is one round of safety, and that’s the truth.
Ian and Flik argue about whether deja-vu is a type of bird or the name of some weird 90’s pop song, neither speaks french so there’s no way of knowing, in the end, they respectfully agree to disagree.
Later, Ian and Flik can be seen discussing deja-vu, they can’t come to the conclusion of whether it’s a disease or the name of a forgotten one-hit wonder. Both get the sentiment that they had this conversation before, they’re informed by a nearby Violet that this is what deja-vu is, a feeling of familiarity that you can’t quite put into words where you got it from.
Inside of the male’s cabin, Surf sat on his bunk, he hears the sound of someone walking over to him. He looks up to find... Sass, she had a flirty look on her face, of course, he becomes red like a tomato instantly, she puts her manicured hand on his shoulder, and whispers on his ear that she knows he likes her. He shivers at the sudden contact, she tells him in a soft tone that all he has to do for her to like him back... is to do everything she says from now on. She questions if he understood, and he repeatedly nods, that’s a good enough answer for her, she gets up, and leaves him alone to ease the sexual tension.
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Confessionals:
Ian: Now that Violet brought this to my attention... I have been getting this “deja-vu” feeling, me bonding with Surf, my argument with Sass, and then Flik and i talking about the same thing twice... (he scratches his head) I can’t tell if this is all a huge coincidence or if the writers are running out of ideas.
Sass: (She’s laughing non-stop), I can’t believe my plan worked! I did a little blackmailing. I told Ana that if she didn’t make us win, I would reveal she has family band, the “Spicer Family”, she told me before she was eliminated about how she didn’t want the world to find out because it would ruin her reputation... well, karma is a bitch! (She starts laughing again, before falling inside the toilet). Ew! Okay... maybe I deserved that (she pulls herself out), and about Surf... well, you can never have too many puppets.
Surf: What was that!? Did I just get a girlfriend without realizing!? My friends told me before coming here that if I get one, my heart is going to feel different. It doesn’t... one of my legs feels a little weird though, you know, that one in the middle that’s really small for some reason? What does this all mean!?
—————
If something happened once, you could bet it was possible to happen again. Yes, it was a bullshit outcome, but the Sharks once again felt the taste of being on the losing end, it was bound for fate to repeat itself one day.
The Syncopation has quite the meltdown, their two most recent losses weren’t the fairest in his eyes, he still doesn’t want to admit he’s afraid of Nickelback songs, but he had a point about losing this challenge. Nonetheless, he was becoming an annoyance to the team in the state he was in, Sammy attempts to calm him down, however, she’s stopped by Taylor, who pushes her away and tells her to mind her own business, before pulling Sync away from her.
Taylor drags him to the forest, before setting him down, Sync laughs, commenting she acted as mad as the last time they were there. Truth be told, back when they were eavesdropping on Sammy and Don... they heard the last tidbit about Pratyush, what went down afterwards is where things get interesting:
Taylor feels a little embarrassed at how she had just acted, The Syncopation asks her what that was all about, and of course she wasn’t going to tell him why, but she didn’t think he was going to let it go. So instead, she turns the argument against him, questioning why he followed her, he also doesn’t have an answer... the tension rises, and neither tries to break the silence... until their eyes meet, they look deep into each other, and that seemed like all the confirmation they needed. They both lean in, and kiss, after about a minute, they stop to catch their breathes... they look at each other again, Taylor comments on how weird she feels, Sync shares the sentiment, he rarely feels this way... there’s just something really captivating about her, he actually likes her, and isn’t just attracted to her, Taylor tells Sync she feels the same way, but she didn’t know the best way to go about it, she never had a “real” relationship, which he can relate to.
Eventually, they started dating, however, unlike Don and Sammy, they didn’t tell anyone, as it wouldn’t end well to oust themselves as an obvious pair, they’re still figuring things out... but it seems like things are much more stable now that they’re not trying to one-up each other, they work as a team, a very deadly one at that. They decided on a target, as one can imagine, there can only be one power couple on this island. Taylor says she wants Sammy voted out, she’s a very dangerous social threat, and if they don’t do something now, she’ll be unstoppable, Sync agrees, however, he doesn’t think with the team’s current state that they’ll be able to get enough people to vote her out. That only leaves one person, the loner who has been making himself more and more unlikable lately... it was their best shot at that point, they agree that Sync will tell Logan who to vote for, while Taylor will work her magic on the rest of the team due to his meltdown from earlier.
Don pulls Pratyush aside in the male’s side of the cabin, he apologizes for the way he treated him, he hasn’t been able to fully fit in yet, which is why he’s been so abrasive. Pratyush is aware that Don’s only talking with him because of the fact that he’s on the chopping block, but he does feel bad, he seemed genuine, and Sammy told him how much she cared for him. He nods, and accepts his apology, he asks him the plan, and Don responds he’ll be voting for someone who has been very sketchy lately, he thinks it would be better to get said person out of the equation.
Everything was nearly set, they only needed one more vote to force a tie, and to Sammy’s surprise, Angelina approaches her, she begins tearfully apologizing, crying that she’s never had friends before, everyone on the internet is so fake, and she didn’t believe she would find a person who genuinely cared for her here. Sammy understands where she’s coming from, she attempts to give her a hug, but Angelina stops her, saying she still hates any kind of contact. As her friend, Angelina also tells her the team is targeting Don... and she may jump on that train, Sammy is surprised, she questions why she would do that after what she said... the agoraphobe responds that it’s the game, he told her his story during the challenge, and if she’s sitting at the end with him... she may get crushed pretty badly. Sammy... tears up, she had just started a relationship with someone, and now they were going to take him away. Things angers Angelina, she tells Sammy to create more of a backbone, this is why everything hasn’t been going well for her, she’s too nice, she needs to start letting her anger out more. Sammy takes her words to heart... take her anger out... she may know where to start.
—————
Confessionals:
The Syncopation: Sorry not sorry Donnie, you had your chance to prove yourself, but time and time again, you did the exact opposite. You showed me you’re as useless as Mya, as annoying as Gretchen, and as dumb as Logan, what a loser! Even if he knows that he’s going, I won’t be shocked if he’s still surprised!
Don: (he sighs) Well... I tried everything that I could, I think my time has come, regardless, I made some pretty darn good memories here. I got a girlfriend, and maybe... I got a little bit out of my shell, I learned a lot while on here, and I may not have won the million, but the experience was worth it.
Taylor: I’ve never been on a real relationship before, but now that I’m dating The Syncopation (she sighs), It’s nice, we share a lot in common, we’ve been able to work better together now that we cleared the air, and he’s fucking hot! Doesn’t mean I’ll stop flirting for my game, and neither will he for that matter. But... it’s good to have someone to count on, I guess... look, it’s still a novelty for the both of us, don’t judge!
Sammy: (she wipes a tear from her eye), I guess this is it... I didn’t want this to happen, but no one seems to be budging... I’m making sure his elimination won’t be in vain. Im following Angelina’s advice a bit, this person has been pretty quiet lately, however, they shouldn’t be ignored, they’re a monster... and I’m going to give them a little paranoia tonight.
—————
The 8 Mouses sat on the tree stumps, awaiting for the Campfire Ceremony to start. Chef Helga calmly made her way to her spot across from the camper, she held a tray with 7 heavily marshmallows on her hand... they looked delicious!
After everyone casts their votes, Helga begins explaining the elimination process. King tells her to hurry up, causing him to get hit on the head with a marshmallow, she yells that it’s her first time doing this, he doesn’t have to be so mean, and adds that he’s safe with no votes against him.
The other campers with no votes against them are...
Sammy
Pratyush
Angelina
The Syncopation
Taylor, Logan and Don remained, Helga states all three of them got at least one vote. Sammy hugs Don’s arm, while Taylor can feel Sync holding her hand discreetly, Logan sighs at the fact that he has no one to comfort him.
Avoiding the bottom 2 is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Logan
He is a bit surprised by the outcome, but he’s not complaining! Taylor huffs, this is the second time in a row she’s been in the bottom 2. Don looked ready for what was about to happen next, no matter who goes, a partner’s heart will be broken today.
The final marshmallow goes to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Taylor
She releases the breath she had been holding as she catches her marshmallow, Don gets up, turns to his team and says he bears no resentment to any of them, and wishes them all good luck, before walking towards the Dock of Shame.
Before he can step on the Boat of Losers, he’s stopped by Sammy, she holds his hands and states she’s going to miss him a lot, he kisses her hand, showing how he feels the same way. As the boat takes him away... he had a look of fulfillment on his face, he yells at Sammy to win for him, which she promises she’ll do, before he disappears into the night.
—————
Oh, I guess I’m doing voice-overs as well, anyway, Don was chewed out of the team, that must suck for Sammy, but she shouldn’t have made their relationship so obvious if she didn’t want him to go in the first place!
Now that The Syncopation and Taylor have tied the knot, will they suffer the same fate as Sammy and Don? How will Sammy deal with the loss of her beloved? Will Surf go along with Sass’ demands to get her? Wow, there’s been a lot of talk about love and lust today... ugh, younglings
To find out the answers to all these questions, tune in next time! On ISLAND... OF... CHALLENGES!
—————
Votes:
Don: Angelina, King, Logan, Taylor and The Syncopation
Taylor: Don and Pratyush
Logan: Sammy
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Thoughts on Don:
Yeah... I know, a somewhat predictable elimination, but I thought it would be better to do it this way so I could start setting up Sammy’s character for the future. Anyway, Don was one of my favorites this season, and I’m sure his elimination will come as a shock to some of you, I didn’t think highly of him at first, but I was surprised with how much I was able to get out of him once he started interacting with Sammy. Overall, his presence will be noted. Also, I hope the Beetle Pie becomes a thing.