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Whamoo Casino Review & Free Bonus
Sign up with Whamoo Casino and test slots in freeplay - No Deposit Required! Additionally, take advantage of 300 Free Spins and up to 600 EUUSD Welcome Bonus. Exclusive promo codes apply. Click on the link below and start playing for free!
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About Whamoo Casino [Full Review]

Whamoo is a brand new, fun-loving online casino that has recently opened its premises for gamblers from many countries around the world. It does however promise to be more than just an online casino, as Whamoo describes itself as a lifestyle and feeling.
The rush you feel when the reels spin. The sound you make when that spin turns into a huge win. That’s Whamoo. Yet Whamoo is so much more than that. This online casino promises all you would expect from a reputable online casino – but then improved further. A massive game library? Check. Live casino? Check. Full mobile compatibility? Check. An entire VIP bonus programme for loyal customers? Check. Whamoo is a casino which comes with the entire package which players have come to expect of a casino provider.
On paper Whamoo sounds like a great online casino. But being a newcomer on the scene, there are of course always some open questions. How reliable is Whamoo? What can you expect from this brand new casino when it comes to the available games? How cooperative is their online help desk? What kind of welcome bonuses are there for new players who wish to open an online account?
In our extensive Whamoo review, we will try to answer all of the above questions and guide you through this brand new casino. So do read on and let’s explore this exciting new addition to the world of online gambling!
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A fully licenced online casino

Whamoo is a fully licenced online casino and a safe place for gamblers to put down their wagers. The website of whamoo.com is operated by DialMedia Ltd, a company registered by the Malta Business Registry with number C86642, on the registered address of Depiro Point, Block A2, Triq Mons G. Depiro, Sliema, Malta.
As gambling operator, DialMedia Ltd. fully licensed and regulated by the Malta Gaming Authority (MGA) under licence number MGA/B2C/542/2018 issued on 10/04/2019.
What does this say about the reliability of Whamoo?
The MGA licence is one of the better ones you can find in the online casino world as Malta is the major European nation when it comes to online gambling. It is home not only to most of the world’s top online casinos, but also to many software providers and other businesses providing auxiliary services in the gambling industry.
A Malta Gaming Authority licence is not handed out with ease, as a company needs to fulfil many criteria before being granted one. The national gambling authorities of this Mediterranean island and EU member state check for example if all games which are made available are indeed fair and honest. They also check whether a company has enough cash reserves to pay out lucky winners of casino games and hold regular audits to ensure that there are no irregularities.
If an online casino has a MGA licence, it means that all the important criteria when it comes to safety, honesty and reliability are fulfilled and that it is a safe place to gamble. For us, the online casino licence is always a first thing we check before we even would consider playing somewhere. With this crucial criteria being fulfilled, we can thus move forward in our Whamoo review and look at all the other things this casino has to offer. And to be honest, the whole Whamoo package looks quite promising! Three of the main selling points of the Whamoo online casino are:

• Compile your own welcome bonus package and decide between free spins or a deposit bonus – or a combination of both.
• Hundreds of games from top casino software developers, including an exciting live casino platform.
• Recurring reload bonuses every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Whamoo clearly sounds like a promising casino when looking at the selling points, but do these points hold up when we test out the casino in real? Let’s continue our review of Whamoo with one of the most important aspects of every online casino: its game library. Which casino games can we find back in the Whamoo game collection? How honest and fair are these games? These are all legit questions which must be looked into before you can decide whether or not an online casino is suitable or not.
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Games from top software developers

When checking the list of Whamoo’s software providers you can only feel relieved as this brand new online casino only has games from the world’s top casino games developers. Especially for a newly opened online casino it is important to show to the public that you are talking serious – and you can only do that by adding the most popular games from the top software providers to your game library.
It’s not only about fun. Sure, these top software developers are known for making some of the most fantastic video slots, stellar table games. They have the most exhilarating and professional live casino tables to which you can connect in just a few clicks. But it’s more than just playing fun, graphics and game design.
By only having games from the top software companies, you are giving your players a clear message that you are only satisfied with the best quality games. Perhaps the most important aspect is game reliability, honesty and fairness. All games from the top software companies are fully tested and accredited by regulatory bodies. These gaming authorities check whether games indeed turn out completely random results and give gamblers a honest shot at winning. This is perhaps even more important than just a fantastically designed game, as in the end what matters most is reliability and honesty inside a casino.

RNG

The games which can be played at Whamoo Casino all have a piece of code called a Random Number Generator (RNG). With a random number generator, the outcome of every game is completely random and independent from previous results. It means that every card being dealt on the table, all dice which are thrown during a game, and every ball spinning around in the roulette wheel is never predetermined. Let’s put it this way: if you throw a single dice with the numbers 1 to 6 on it, you have indeed an exact 1 out of 6 chance that it will land on your predicted number.
A random number generator is absolutely crucial when it comes to delivering fair game results and giving gamblers a honest chance at winning. By having games from the top software providers, Whamoo makes sure that you can trust the fairness of every casino game you play. The good thing is that not only are the game results subject to occasional audits by regulatory authorities, but that these software providers also pro-actively test their own games to ensure they fulfil the highest industry standards. They hire independent testing agencies such as eCOGRA to check their games, both in virtual simulations and real-time results.
Let’s take a look at the software providers whose games have already been added to the Whamoo game library. As these are some of the best known software developers in the world, chances are that you have heard about some of these names before!
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NETENT GAMES

Also known by its full name of Net Entertainment, NetEnt is one of the largest casino game developers in the world. NetEnt is a Swedish company which was founded in 1996, which makes it one of the oldest companies in the relatively young world of online casino gaming. It is so big, that the company is even listed on the local NASDAQ stock exchange in Stockholm, Sweden!
NetEnt is best known for its vast video slot portfolio, of which many games are also playable at Whamoo. Having NetEnt games in your casino game library is almost a must for every online casino, as besides Whamoo some 300 or so more online casinos have NetEnt games available, which tells you something about the popularity of this company. Just like Whamoo itself, NetEnt has a full gambling licence in the EU member state of Malta, which means that all games are subject to regulatory oversight and can be trusted for their fairness. NetEnt also works closely together with independent testing labs to ensure that their games meet the highest standards.
Some popular NetEnt games which you can play at Whamoo are Jack and the Beanstalk, BerryBurst, Twin Spin, The Vikings, Wings of Riches, Aloha!, Fruit Shop, Jacks or Better, Gonzo’s Quest, Dazzle Me, Wild Bazaar and of course the eternal favourite of Starburst.

PRAGMATIC PLAY GAMES

Pragmatic Play is another major company in the online gaming world. The casino games of Pragmatic Play are always popular with the players, so it is no surprise that Whamoo has chosen to add quite a few Pragmatic Play games to its online collection. Pragmatic Play focuses mostly on online video slots, although they also make some exciting live casino games which are hosted in their own studios.
Being only founded in 2015, Pragmatic Play is a relative newcomer within the game developing industry. Yet in those few years time, the company already managed to reach to top heights with Pragmatic Play being considered to rank among the top game providers. Quality and safety are of immense importance for Pragmatic Play. Therefore, all games are documented and tested by independent auditors and testing labs such as QUINEL, BMM and Gaming Labs.
Popular Pragmatic Play games which can be played at Whamoo are John Hunter and the Aztec Treasure, Great Rhino Megaways, Leprechaun Song, Lucky Dragons, Mustang Gold, The Champions, Vegas Nights, Aztec Gems, Buffalo King, Starz Megaways, Triple Jokers, Magic Crystals, Sugar Rush, Beowulf and many more exciting video slots.
Of course, many baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants are available in Whamoo’s Live Casino which is powered by Pragmatic Play software. You are connected by high resolution video feed to professional dealers and croupiers in one of the Pragmatic Play casino studios where you can experience the thrills of a real life casino behind your computer or mobile phone. It’s almost like you are standing in Vegas!

STAKELOGIC GAMES

Stakelogic is another popular software developer which has added its games to the Whamoo game library. As one of the best-known developers in the software industry, it is always a good sign that Stakelogic games are available to play given that this company has made some exciting video slots.
Using HTML5, Stakelogic games are of course fully mobile compatible, which means you can play them on your smartphone as well. The company has also made some exciting new 3D slots which are not only gorgeous to look at but also wild fun to play. As an off-shoot company from gaming giants Novomatic, Stakelogic certainly is a reputable software developer which can be trusted when it comes to fairness and reliability.
Popular Stakelogic games are Epic Slam, Wild Stallion, Magic Wheel, Super Wild Arcade, Fruit Spinner, Lucky Gems Deluxe, Hot Fruits, Grand Slam Deluxe, Runner Runner, Turbo 4 Player Jackpot, Dragons and Magic, Big 5 Jungle Jackpot, Mariachi and The Big Cash Game.
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High limit gaming options

Whamoo is an online casino which is not only suitable for gamblers on a tight budget, but also for the true high rollers. You can place bets as low as a few cents, or as high as several thousands of euros or dollars at this online casino. Depending on your game of choice, whether its a jackpot video slot or classic table game, there are countless of options to bet big for maximum excitement and chances of winning top prizes. Further down in this Whamoo review, we will discuss some of the high limit games which are available.
Highrollers should also note that Whamoo comes with its own VIP programme in which you can quickly work yourself to the top category if you bet big. You can get instant access to your own dedicated casino manager and will get invites to high stakes tournaments. There are special weekly cashback bonuses as well for the true high roller gamblers at Whamoo. We will discuss the VIP program more in depth a bit further down this Whamoo review.
For now, let’s take a look at all the high roller games which are available at Whamoo Online Casino!

Endless rows of jackpot video slots

If you are a real lover of video slots you will be glad to hear that Whamoo has several hundreds of online video slots available. Although some of these slots are more suitable for beginning players or those on a tight budget, there are plenty of slots available where you can bet up to 100 euro/dollar per spin. This makes for some exhilarating and thrilling slot game action which will please any high stakes gambler out there!
Of course, Whamoo also has its share of jackpot slots where you have a shot at winning the progressive jackpot which can run well above a million euro or dollar! These premium slots, such as those using the famous Megaways system, offer countless of opportunities to place maximum bets at your video slot of choice.
Check the Whamoo game library whether or not your favourite slot is available as well, or try one of the many exciting new game additions! It is easy to browse through the Whamoo website. You can sort slots by software provider, or use the search function to check for your beloved title.

Join for some high stakes blackjack action

Blackjack has always been one of the most popular games among high rollers and the reasons why are quite clear. You can often bet high amounts of money on a single play and you can as a player slightly influence the outcome of a game as you need to decide whether you want to stand or hit another card.
At Whamoo, there is plenty of high stakes blackjack action. There are both normal blackjack games such as American Blackjack and multihand Blackjack, as well as blackjack tables in the live casino. In the live casino, which is powered by Pragmatic Play software, you can play several blackjack variants. Bets of up to several hundreds of euros or dollars, or even higher for the real VIPs, are possible.
Beat the hand of the dealer and hit that score of 21. Maybe it will be your lucky day playing blackjack at Whamoo Online Casino!

Grab a seat at the roulette table

There is plenty of roulette action at Whamoo as well. You can choose between virtual roulette versions, or opt for a seat at a roulette table in the live casino, where you are connected to a real-time croupier by video feed. Especially in the live casino high bets of up to a thousand dollar or more are possible, making roulette a big favourite among the real high stake gamblers.
Of course, Whamoo Casino has all of the the standard roulette versions of American Roulette, French Roulette and European Roulette. Most of these games are developed by software giants NetEnt.
In the live casino, there is also Roulette Macao Live, where you will be connected to a gaming environment which makes you feel like you are playing in the famous casinos of this Chinese gambling mecca. Live Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Azure are popular Pragmatic Play live casino versions of roulette which are available to Whamoo players.
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Whamoo's unique bonus package

One area in which Whamoo stands out as online casino is its great bonus package. Of course, there is a great welcome bonus for newly registered users. But the fun doesn’t stop there! At Whamoo casino, it is bonus day almost every single day of the week. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays the casino has recurring bonus offers if you reload you bankroll on one of those days. This makes Whamoo not only an attractive casino at the moment you sign up, but also at all those moments when you come back to play again.
300 free spins or a €200 deposit bonus

The Whamoo welcome bonus

We start of discussing the Whamoo welcome bonus which is called the “Welcombo” bonus by the casino. On a picture the Welcombo might not look too appealing as its packed in a carton takeaway box you might get at a certain fast food restaurant, but trust us on this: its contents are truly fantastic.
The Welcombo box contains a combination of goodies you get with your very first deposit at Whamoo. And what is best of all? You can decide what combo you want to receive! If you sign up at Whamoo for a free online casino account, you can determine your own bonus by adjusting the slide until you have found a combination which matches your idea of a perfect bonus.
This is a great option as it allows people to choose the bonus which best suits them. You can choose between free spins and a deposit bonus – or a combination of both. If you are an avid video slot gamer and do not care much about table games, you may want to slide all the way to the maximum free spins bonus. In that case, you will receive 300 free spins, but your deposit bonus will be 0%. The free spins in the Welcombo package are valid on the popular Amatic Industries slot Book of Fortune.
On the other hand, if you only care about table games and are not really interested in free spins and playing video slots, you want to adjust the slide to the maximum deposit bonus. This is a 100% deposit bonus of up to 200 euro. This means that if you deposit 200 euro of your own money to your newly created online casino account, Whamoo will top this up by another 200 euro from the house! If you select the full 100% deposit bonus, you will however not receive any free spins at all.
Of course, you can also opt for a mix between free spins and a deposit bonus. If you leave the slider in the middle, you will get 150 free spins and a 50% deposit bonus, for example. You can tweak this in any direction you want, for example to a 70% deposit bonus and 90 free spins. The higher your deposit bonus, the less free spins you receive. Want more free spins? Then your deposit bonus will decrease.

Welcombo bonus terms and conditions

Only one bonus is allowed per household and/or per player account. Do note that Whamoo’s bonuses remain valid until seven days after the required deposit has been made. Once this period ends, the bonus is automatically flagged as expired by the system and can no longer be released. The expired bonus funds are then automatically removed from the player’s account.
Of course, there is a wagering requirement which must be met in order to withdraw your bonus money and any winnings which may derive from it. Real money balance is used prior to bonus balance. The bonus balance will only be used when there is no real money available in your account. Only real money funds and released bonus funds can contribute towards the wagering requirement of the bonus. The wagering requirement for the Welcombo deposit bonus and free spins is thirty times (30x) the deposit + bonus.
Do note that players that deposit money using Paysafecard, Skrill or Neteller are not eligible for the Welcombo. To assure fair gaming and prevent fraud, Whamoo has placed a maximum cap on bonus money wagers, which are limited to a maximum per round/bet of €5 or its equivalent in other currencies. You should also be aware that certain games cannot be played using bonus money. There is a full overview of these games on the Whamoo bonus page.
Bets placed in certain games might not contribute fully to the wagering requirements.

• Bets placed on video slots count for 100%
• Bets placed on scratch cards count for 100%
• Bets placed on blackjack count for 10%
• Bets placed on video poker count for 10%
• Bets placed on poker count for 10%
• Bets placed on roulette, baccarat, sic-bo and craps do not count
• Bets placed on live casino games do not count

Recurring bonuses at Whamoo

The bonus fun does not stop at the welcome bonus when you play at Whamoo! You can count on a constant stream of promotional campaigns and bonus offers. The casino has recurring promo offers every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. If you deposit some extra money to your online casino bankroll on one of those days, you are eligible for a bonus. It therefore pays off to wait for these days before you decide to reload your online funds.
On Monday it is Pick ‘n’ Play day to start off the week with some good vibes. On this day, the casino basically tops up your deposited money You can:

• Turn your €20 into €25 with the code 100024;
• turn your €50 into €65 with the code 100025, and/or
• turn your €100 into €135 with the code 100026.

It is even possible to combine these bonuses if you want to deposit a larger sum! Alternatively, you can use the bonus codes of WHPICK5, WHPICK15 and WHPICK35 by putting these into the promo code field on the cashier page every Monday.

Whoa Wednesday

Wednesday is for many a difficult day in the week, it being right in the middle of another long week of work. To spice up things, Whamoo has come with an unusual bonus which it calls “Whoa Wednesday”.
Every Wednesday you get to uncover your secret gift – for free, no strings attached. The casino will add this gift to your next deposit. This can be a bonus, a set of free spins, or even both. You’ll get all the details once you’ve pulled off the cover and logged into your account. You will receive the bonus details and promotional code, which you can use in the promo field at the payment page to receive your hard-earned Wednesday bonus.

Freeday bonus

Friday is the favourite day of the week for many people – and the reason why is quite obvious. It marks the end of another working week and the start of some well-deserved weekend R&R! For many people this involves paying a visit to a land-based or online casino to get their kicks at their favourite game, whether it is a card game, roulette or video slot.
Whamoo knows that many people cannot wait for the days off work to start and therefore has come up with a special Friday bonus to welcome in the weekend! This bonus day is called ‘Freeday’ by Whamoo. The casino basically hands you a bunch of free spins if you are a regular customer. For every weekday from the previous week (Friday through Thursday) that you’ve deposited 30 euro or more, you get 10 free spins. For every weekend day you even get 20 Free Spins! That means up to 90 Free Spins are yours to play with. That’s a great start to a weekend full of partying and fun!

Wagering requirements

Do note that wagering requirements do apply to all daily promo offers. These are more or less the same as we outlined above in the description of the welcome package, but do take a look at the bonus terms and conditions page on the Whamoo website to know precisely what you can expect! As always, it is important to read the small print in order not to face any surprises later on.
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A fully mobile compatible casino

As a brand new online casino, Whamoo knows that already a majority of gamblers nowadays play on their mobile phones rather than on computers. Because of this, the Whamoo casino is fully compatible with mobile devices and tablets. If you load the Whamoo website on your smartphone, it looks just as good as on your laptop of computer. It’s equally accessible and orderly too! The mobile website is a breeze to browse through and you can easily access all the important pages such as the game library and payment page.
The same counts for the actual games themselves. Whamoo only works with software providers which are known to offer full mobile gaming support. These games are made in code such as HTML5, which means that the games can simply be played in your (mobile) internet browser. There is no download or special app required to play these games. Whether you are playing on your computer, tablet or smartphone, you simply surf to Whamoo.com and select your favourite game from the library. This game will then open in your internet browser – and you can play instantly. It does not matter whether your phone runs on Android or is an iPhone, nor does it matter whether you have Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari or any other internet browser. Whamoo will function just fine!
This is absolutely great as you can now play at Whamoo wherever you are, whenever you want. Want to put down some wagers on the roulette table while you are sitting in public transport on your way to work? That’s easily doable! Just take out your smartphone on the train or bus, and surf to Whamoo.com to play at your favourite roulette table. Are you sitting on your couch at home and want to play a few hands of blackjack before going to sleep? Just take out your laptop, tablet or phone and within seconds you can have some of the most exhilarating blackjack fun on your screen.

The Whamoo Live Casino

Whamoo’s live casino is powered by Pragmatic Play and NetEnt software – which are two of the biggest, most reputable software providers in the world. This is great news for the players, as you can access high quality tables in just a few clicks.
In the live casino, you are connected with a live video feed to a real-time casino table in one of the casino studios of these software providers. You can play games like baccarat, blackjack and roulette like you are standing in a real land-based casino in Vegas or Monaco! Thanks to the high definition video stream, you have a great overview of all the action which unfolds on and around the table.
All table games are led by experienced, professional croupiers and dealers who are not only well-trained, but entertaining as well. By all means, feel free to open your microphone or the chat window to have a talk with them, or even with other players from around the world. This is what makes the live casino such a great invention. Even though you might be sitting at home in front of your laptop or computer, it does almost feel like you are standing in a casino for real!
Especially for high rollers the live casino is a worthwhile addition as table limits are often much higher than in regular games. Of course, if you are on a tight budget there will definitely be live casino tables where low minimum bets are allowed too – no worries there. But it is the experienced, high stakes gambler who probably feels most at home in the live casino.
There are multiple baccarat, blackjack and roulette variants which you can play. For roulette, there is American Roulette, European Roulette, French Roulette, Speed Roulette, Live Roulette Auto and Roulette Macao Live. If you prefer the casino classic of blackjack, you will find plenty of different tables all with slightly different betting limits. Baccarat is perhaps the game with the highest betting limit. Besides the regular version, there are also Speed Baccarat tables. A fourth casino game which can be played live at the Whamoo Live Casino is Sic Bo. Just browse through the list of live casino games, or use the search function to find your favourite table!
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My name is Mark and I am a compulsive gambler. My last bet was April 2nd 2019. I have a lot of things on my mind right now, although the urge or thought to gamble isn’t one of them, and I feel like I have a lot to say but just need time to figure it out. I think my head is a bit all over the place and I want to tackle various issues at once instead of taking a step back and approaching it one at a time. So I thought that an A-Z of my journey so far, life, gambling and recovery, might give me an opportunity to touch on various things just a little and maybe allow some of the thoughts I have to escape.
A is for Abstinence - There is a huge difference in my mind between abstinence and recovery as abstinence simply involves stopping gambling. Now, for some that may be enough to stay away for the rest of their lives and that is fantastic, but for me, I knew through experience it wouldn’t be enough. I have tried to stop on my own in the past and eventually my “will power” ended and I went right back. I was never actually trying to become a better person or trying to learn a better way to live, I was simply stopping gambling in the hope that everything would fix itself which was never going to be enough. Now, abstinence is vital for my recovery because I need to stop gambling but I have done, and continue to do, so much more than just stopping gambling because I need to do it. I’ve come into recovery not knowing who or what I am or should have been. I’ve been gambling since I was 18 years old, dabbling before that as well, and I never “grew” into the adult I was supposed to be or could have been. So I really have to start from the beginning with a blank canvas, which I honestly feel has massive potential for me, and get to write my own story of how my life goes from here on out, but I can’t do that simply by abstaining from gambling.
“We can't just hope that something will happen. We must put in the work.
If we simply wait for our life to improve without putting in the necessary work then we aren't going anywhere.”
B is for Blog - I read a fellow Problem Gambler Support Group members blog not long after I joined and it was all about his gambling journey. I thought “that’s a good idea, I’m going to steal that” and set up my own website. It didn’t quite go like what but I thought there would be a benefit from writing my story out, for me at the very least. Turns out people liked it and said it was good and well written and they got something from it. So I wrote more and I kept getting the same feedback then decided to share my step work and tackle other topics to do with my recovery. I’ll be honest, I’m still unsure if my writing is any good, but people like it and tell me it is, so I’ll just accept that and be very happy with the compliments and keep on writing. I get so much from writing my blogs, it allows me to formulate my thoughts so much better than I do when I am speaking, cause i’m Irish and I use fuck like a comma when talking, less so when writing. I also find it allows me to dig down really deep when reflecting back in my gambling past or thinking about any topic to be honest. I have found out so much about myself from my writing that it’s been a huge benefit to my recovery. It’s also amazing when someone tells me that they could relate to something I’ve written or that something in my blog has helped them with their recovery. That sort of feedback is priceless for me and I’m just happy I have an opportunity to give back because at the end of the day you have to give it away to keep it.
“I’m usually terrified people will hate my writing.
My only saving grace is how I direct that fear. I use it to motivate me to find better ideas and share more useful examples rather than allowing it to prevent me from sharing at all.
Fear is the gas pedal, not the brake.” James Clear
C is for Choice - “You aren’t responsible for your first thought but you are responsible for your first action”. That is one of my favourite quotes and probably one of the first things I will tell a newcomer or someone who is struggling with urges (people are probably bored of it by now but sometimes boring is good). I am a firm believer that if I want to gamble I can, yes I have blocks in place, but if I really want to do it I can choose to do it. At the same time, I also have the choice not to gamble and that is what I choose to do. Now, I understand that people suffer from urges and these can get to a point where it feels like there is no choice so they gamble. For me, it’s all about knowing what to do in those situations and what I have learned it recovery. I know if I am struggling to reach out and talk to someone (more on that later I am sure) as that is the most important tool for me. We also have the choice to break the triangle that compulsive gamblers require to gamble, money, time and opportunity. Anyone can choose to break that triangle if they want to. It all comes back to the initial quote for me though, I am responsible for my first action, it’s all about making the right choice.
“The 3 C's in life: Choice, Chance, Change. You must make the Choice, to take the Chance, if you want anything in life to Change.”
D is for Desire - The only membership requirement for Gamblers Anonymous is a desire to stop gambling. April 2nd 2019 is the first time I have truly had that desire. Up until that point the only desire I had was to hide my secret life from those closest to me and to be able to gamble as much and as long as I wanted. The definition of desire is “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”. I feel like where I am now in recovery, I have no desire to gamble which has given me an opportunity to focus on my recovery.
Gala - “Freed from desire, mind and senses purified”.
E is for Excitement - That excitement or buzz that I used to get from gambling was something else and I’ll be honest, I haven’t found anything that can match it on a consistent level since entering recovery. Sometimes meetings will come close, I will leave one buzzing after what I have just heard or shared, but in general, for me, recovery as a whole is a lot more relaxed. This is perfectly fine as I feel that I have accepted that I no longer need the buzz or excitement in my life all the time and that I can lead a perfectly enjoyable and fulfilling life without those high highs, because, as I know too well from experience, eventually the highs run out and they are followed by low lows.
“Take a break and chill out. We are always on the go, doing this or that. Sometimes we just need to sit back and relax or else the world will simply pass us by.”
F is for Family & Friends - I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t be in the position I am in today if it wasn’t for my family standing by me. I fully expected to be kicked out by my partner when I told her and I wouldn’t be able to see my two kids everyday. I was terrified, so I am aware of how big a step it is to tell your loved ones, but it was a step I had to take. I would rather have been a part time Dad in recovery than a “full time” Dad in active addiction. Plus, over the last few months I have been talking to more partners of gambling addicts and I really appreciate learning how they feel and are affected by compulsive gambling. The money isn’t the main issue, it’s the lies, the broken trust and the fact we put them in a position of enablers. I know I manipulated those closest to me to get what I wanted and I didn’t once care how they would feel about it. They are also affected and some may need support and for me hearing their experiences are a vital cog in my recovery wheel. I also wouldn’t be where I am without the understanding and support of my friends. I owed a lot of my friends money which I lied to get and I broke their trust, but they all stood by me and told me how proud they were of me for admitting I had a gambling problem. That support, along with the support of my family gave me a strong foothold when I entered recovery. The best thing I can do to repay my family and friends is to remain in recovery and work towards becoming a better person each day.
“Living a double life of addiction can be exhausting. Pretending everything is okay to our family and friends when we know it isn't. Once we surrender to our addiction we open up the possibility of Recovery.”
G is for GamCare - This is only been a place I have been fully utilising over the last few months because before then, I’ll be honest, I didn’t get it. I would go onto chat regularly but usually just sit there and read what other people were saying, I rarely got involved. I feel like part of it was my ego, I didn’t understand how people could just use a chat and recover. Then I started to learn that there is not a one size fits all recovery program and around November 2019 I started to get more involved. I not only used the chat room but started to post on the forum. I had a place where I could talk to other compulsive gamblers and not only help myself but help them by passing on the message. I have met some wonderful people via GamCare and some I have a great connection with, one which I hope to maintain. It was simply a case of me getting out of GamCare what I put in at the start, which wasn’t much. Now I absolutely love the place and totally see what a great tool it is for people looking for support with their recovery.
“If all we do is take and never give, we will surely be weighed down by our loot.
Recovery is as much about giving as it is receiving. We must give it away to keep it.”
H is for Honesty - One of the mantras I constantly say to newcomers is that you need three things for a chance at a successful recovery, HOW; Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness. For me being honest with those closest to me was a vital first step and it lifted a huge weight of my shoulders. Then each day in recovery I have been trying to be as honest as I possibly can. It’s so much easier if you tell the truth because you only have to tell it once. Looking back to when I was gambling it was crazy the amount of lies and bullshit I was telling people, by the end I wasn’t sure what was true and what was a lie. It’s not like that today though, I can look myself in the mirror and know that I am an honest person. I feel like I am honest in my meetings and through my writing. I share things that I probably do not need to share but it helps me not only get my thoughts out but at some point someone else may hear or read it and realise they aren’t alone.
French Proverb: “There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience.”
I is for Intention - The subject of intent was briefly discussed at one of my Skype meetings and I feel quite strongly about this. I fully accept responsibility for my actions when gambling because when I break it all down, I was the person who chose to gamble in the first place. Each time I gambled it was my choice. The best example I have is if I went to a bar and had 5 or 6 pints and got in my car to drive home but on the way crash and kill 4 people. My intention was just to drive home, I didn’t intend to cause pain and suffering but I knew the risks when I got in the car. For me it’s the same as gambling. I may not have intended to cause pain and suffering to my kids and partner and those closest to me, but I did. These were consequences of my actions. I may not even have been fully aware of the pain I was causing or didn’t want to be aware, either way the intent was in my initial action which was gambling. Were there other outside forces at work, such as advertising and offers encouraging me to keep gambling? Yes there were but again I do not want to waste my energy blaming the industry for what has happened to me. The responsibility of what I have done lands firmly at my feet. Does that mean the industry should continue to get away with what they do? Absolutely not. Are people groomed by the industry and bled dry of all their money? 100% and it is a disgrace. There needs to be accountability of the gambling industry but for me personally, with what I went through when gambling and for my own recovery, the focus of responsibility needs to be on me and me alone. I’ve been in recovery for over ten months now and the person who has changed is me, not the gambling industry. That’s what I focus on because it’s the one thing I can control and that I can really change to make a difference.
“It’s not intentions that matter. It’s actions.
We are what we do and say, not what we intend to.”
J is for Jeff - If I said I owe this man a lot it would be an understatement as he was instrumental in helping me from when I got into recovery. Jeff is the man behind the Problem Gambling Support Group and I had messaged him on Wednesday 3rd April 2019 asking to join the group as I had seen a post on Reddit about it. This wasn’t my first time speaking to Jeff though, that was November 2018 when I had been on Reddit under a different name and was trying to stop casino gambling online but wanted to continue sports betting...yea, didn’t work out well. Jeff contacted me around that time and we messaged back and forth one afternoon, with Jeff telling me the benefits of recovery and me trying to tell him how I could still gamble responsibly. Bottom line, I wasn’t ready for recovery then but when I was Jeff could not have been more welcoming. Jeff took me under his wing and spoke to me often in the early days and I asked him to be my Sponsor. He has helped me work the steps and has been a part of my recovery journey the whole time. I feel like I have someone who I can reach out to at any time and he’ll be there for me. It’s hard to really do justice for the impact Jeff has made on my recovery, but I honestly believe things would be a lot different if it wasn’t for his support and guidance. Sponsorship has been so important to me and up until recently I didn’t believe I had what it takes to be one but I have been given an opportunity to be a Sponsor now and I am loving it. If I can be half the Sponsor that Jeff has been to me I know I’ll be a success.
“Fellowship is so important to Recovery
What we can't do on our own, we can do together. From Friendship to Sponsorship to Relationships we need people in our life to help us with our Recovery.”
K is for Kids - My kids are my life but I have not hidden the fact that I had gambling above them when I was practicing my addiction. I don’t say that lightly as it really does upset me to think about it but that is how it was. I gambled without a single thought about them and I needed gambling in my life more than I thought I needed them. Now, my kids were always looked after, mainly by my partner, but I also spent time with them, only they had me there in body but my mind was escaping into the world of online gambling. Since entering recovery I have realised how much I actually love my kids (even though they can be wee bastards at times) and they are my Higher Power. When I am struggling with a choice to make I think how my actions will impact my kids. I’ve spent so much more quality time with them and I love spending that time together. It’s easy to sit here now and say that I have made it up to my kids or that they were too young to understand, but when they have experienced their Dad shouting at them for no reason because I was losing bets or they were interrupting my gambling that leaves emotional scars for them. I’ll never be able to remove those scars, all I can do is continue on my recovery journey and become someone they are proud to say is their Dad.
“If we hold onto the past it is bound to weigh us down. The past made us the people we are today but holding onto shame and guilt will inevitably lead us back down the rabbit hole. Don't forget the past, but don't let it prevent you from living for today.”
L is for Life - There’s so many different ways I could take this but where I will go first is that I truly believe that I will be a compulsive gambler for the rest of my life. Now, that sounds quite scary, I’ll be going to meetings for life, I’ll be unable to gamble for the rest of my life, I’ll potentially have an element of fear for the rest of my life. The good news is I just have to worry about arresting the addiction a day at a time, it’s a lifelong journey with a daily program is how I look at it. I also want to briefly mention how I got a life back, not my life but a life. That’s because I have grown into an adult with my addiction, I have met my partner with my addiction and I have had kids with my addiction. I have no idea what my life is supposed to look like without gambling in it or what it should have looked like as I grew into an adult. So I have been given a clean slate to make a new life for myself, to become the person that I want to be. That is exciting and of course a little scary but it is an opportunity I am grateful to receive.
“Entering Recovery represents the start of a new Life
A life where we don't have to worry about how to get the next one or if we remember the mess we got ourselves into last night. Recovery is the start of a good life.”
M is for Meetings - Many meetings make it easy was a saying I heard at my G.A meetings and I have to say I agree with it. I do one in person G.A. meeting a week (#MondayNightCrew4Life) and I also do three Skype meetings a week with my Problem Gambling Support Group which involves gamblers from all around the world. Both are different which I like but I still get so much from both groups. It helps the people in both are brilliant and I feel I have gotten really lucky in that regard. Looking back to my first G.A. meeting, I assumed I would be sat with a bunch of old men trying to convert me to religion or else desperate for a bet and I thought it wouldn’t be for me, but up until that point the decisions I had made weren’t exactly the best so I thought fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen, I waste a couple of hours. My first meeting was amazing, I left absolutely buzzing. I found a group of people who could relate to me and who understood what I was going through, but more than that, they had actually been in my shoes and knew how to walk this journey. So I said to myself I’m going to share in meetings but the most important thing for me was to actually listen and take on board what was said. It was the same for my Skype meetings, although a different format, it was full of people who once were in my position. Many meetings not only make it easy in my opinion, but they make recovery.
“We take solace in the rooms of Recovery
There is comfort and love in this place. We feel safe.
Just For Today I am grateful for all the rooms of recovery which house those in need.”
N is for Neglect - Where do I even begin with this one. I neglected everything in my life when I was gambling, my health from hardly eating and hardly sleeping to my job where I didn’t do any work to my friendships that I allowed to drift away because I didn’t put any effort into them as they got in the way of my gambling to relationships which I allowed to turn to shit right before my eyes. I think the relationships with those closest to me is what hurts the most and it’s because of the hurt I have caused them. They’ll have to live with those scars for the rest of their life. It’s all good me being in recovery and wanting to become a better person, but I wasn’t the only one being harmed for 14 years, those closest to me were also harmed and I don’t even know how much hurt I inflicted. I’ll probably never know. My kids are what kills me when I look back, as they had to deal with me shouting at them for no reason because I was having a shit time. I was taking the consequences of my choices and my actions out on them and I wasn’t a nice person to be around. Although I was never violent I also know that words hurt and the fact is I wasn’t the sort of Dad I wanted to be, but more importantly, that they deserved to have.
“A little neglect may breed great mischief.” Benjamin Franklin
O is for Open Mindedness - The second part of “HOW” and something that was alien to me coming into recovery. To me being open minded meant listening to other people's opinions, which if I didn’t already know and agreed with, meant I thought they were shit. There was no winning me round with facts, I’d just try to convince you that I was right and my way was the best way. Well, once I got into meetings I sat on my chair (or virtual chair for Skype) and closed my mouth and opened my ears. The best story I can relate to this in my recovery is from my G.A. meetings. There was one member the first few times I listened to him share I thought “fuck me he goes on a bit and I don’t get it” then a few weeks later he shared a story and I was like “that’s me, that guy is me and if I go back out there I’ll be living his life story”. From that point, I’ve listened to everything he says and he’s one of my favourite speakers but it also taught me to listen to each person because you never know what they will say that just hits you. Another part of open mindedness for me is listening to what everyone suggests to me and trying it because if it’s worked for them it might work for me. Not everything has worked for me but I’ve yet to get a suggestion that harmed me or my recovery in any way.
“Our best thinking got us here... We must remain open-minded to new ideas in Recovery. They may not all work for us, but we should at least be willing to hear what they are about.”
P is for Present - Not Xmas presents but present as in today. I really struggle to recognise the progress I have made in my recovery so this feels like a good way to take this word, comparing me today vs me when I came into recovery. Honesty is a big one which I have obviously covered earlier but I do find myself being much more honest than I was. Do I always get it right? Not at all, either withholding thoughts or feelings or only telling part of a story has got me into bother on occasion but I am trying to be as honest as I can. I’ve spent most of my life lying about everything so it’s hard to be so honest, but if you tell the truth you only have to tell it once. How I feel about other people has also changed massively as I used to fucking hate the world. I hated everyone in it and assumed they were going out of their way to make my life miserable. Turns out the only person going out of their way to do that was me. Now I really, genuinely care for other people, in recovery, outside of recovery, I have empathy, I’m willing to reach out and let people know they aren’t alone. My mental health has also definitely improved and although I struggle with low self-esteem, I am generally in a good place whereas when I came into recovery I was broken. Relationships with those closest to me are something that have improved but there is still a lot of work to do in one of them. That’s something that hopefully will continue to improve over time. I’ll finish with this, I have a voice now, a voice that I can use for myself but also for good. When I came into recovery I was used to just telling people what I thought they wanted to hear as I was trying to hide my secret life, now I can just be me and feel comfortable using my voice.
“The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.”
Q is for Quitting - Quitting is something that has come so easy to me in other aspects of my life, quitting hockey, friends, hobbies whatever it is, but I couldn’t quit when I was gambling. I would always tell myself if I got ahead I’d quit and withdraw but rarely did I manage it, and if I did it was deposited straight back into the bookies once it hit my account. After a while there was no quitting when I was ahead because I was so far behind I was never going to be able to get ahead. I even tried quitting the casino side of things after it became a problem (I only started playing the casino side the last 18 months of my active addiction) to focus on sports betting because in my head I wasn’t addicted to sports. That was a lie of course, but I still went back to the casino side of things when I had money because I just could not quit that buzz and excitement.
“I honestly thought I would use until I died. The thought of quitting gambling wasn't plausible, impossible actually.
Just For Today I will believe in the impossible because at one time this current existence was impossible.”
R is for Recovery - I’ll be the first to admit that I have thrown myself head first into my recovery and fully embraced it. I get so much out of it and I put a lot of work into it. This is what my recovery looks like, and while all of it isn’t for everyone, I feel it shows the difference between abstinence and recovery. I attend one in person G.A. meeting a week, three Skype meetings with my Problem Gambling Support Group, I have a Sponsor, I Sponsor someone, I work the Steps, I write my blog and post it on the Reddit Problem Gambling Sub and GamCare forum, I use the GamCare chat rooms twice a day most days, I reach out and offer help and support if I can, I listen to podcasts about addiction, I have been on two podcasts sharing my story, I do my own research on addiction and I am going to start and learn about SMART Recovery. Think that’s it all, and while it looks like a lot, it’s nothing compared to the time I spent gambling and it all fits around my life. I feel like recovery is the thing that has been missing from my life, that place where I am accepted for being me, a place where I can make a difference. Recovery is so important to me and my life and without it there is no way I would have stopped gambling.
“Recovery is a transformation of self. From the ashes of defeat in the battle of Addiction to a renewed sense of purpose in the triumph of Recovery. We strive to become better and better with each passing day.”
S is for Springsteen - I love Bruce Springsteen and listening to his music really resonates with me and can help me think and process my emotions and thoughts. Music really does have that sort of power and it has been a vital tool during my recovery. I can get lost in music, almost like an escape, but for me it’s a healthy escape. My personality needs some alone time to be able to recharge and that’s when I turn to music. I find lyrics jumping out at me and meaning different things at various stages of my recovery. A lyric will transport me back to a time or place and make me remember, good or bad, what had happened. Music can also just help me go from feeling down to feeling happy and realise that things aren’t as bad as I thought there were.
“Bruce Springsteen is the direct line to all that is true in this shitty world”.
T is for Talking - This was something I have come to find is one of my most useful tools I have developed and used in recovery. In the past I would never have opened up and spoken about my feelings but now I am in recovery I feel more confident to talk to at least one person about what is going on in my head. I’ve found talking has been an amazing way for me to solve problems that have been bothering me and eating away at me. Even just to vent is such a powerful tool, it can make me realise that I am making a big deal out of something that really isn’t. It also allows me to ask for advice and to get used to the fact that I do not possess all the answers. It was about swallowing my pride and realises that the main benefit of a support network is to rely on it when you need it. Sometimes I have asked questions that have made me feel stupid, but I have never been judged. Talking is one of the most important tools I have and it is something I always say to anyone I talk to in recovery, if you are ever struggling then reach out to me or to someone else, even if it’s just to say what is on your mind.
“Asking for help is hard. It certainly didn't come naturally to me and can still be a struggle.
Just For Today I will ask for help when I need it.”
U is for Understood - Recovery is the first place I have really felt that people have understood me and what I have put myself through with my gambling addiction. “Put myself through” sounds like I am a victim, they have understood what I did when gambling. The longer I have been in recovery the more I feel people understand this new me that I have become, even more so than those in my life outside of recovery because they see me “in action” so to speak, in meetings, through my writing, helping others etc. There is something about going into a meeting and knowing, that no matter what you say or feel, you can feel safe sharing it and will not be judged.
“I am not a perfect person, I make a lot of mistakes.. but still, I love those people who stay with me after knowing how I really am.”
V is for Vicious - The vicious cycle that I was in when gambling broke me mentally, it was insanity when I look back on it. I would get paid and the first thing I would do is stay up until my pay hit my bank account around 1am and deposit and gamble. I would then pay back any money I had borrowed from friends or family and pay bounced direct debits from the previous month. I would then gamble more than I intended, have to bounce more direct debits, had to borrow more money from friends and family by lying to them. My phone bill was around £275 a month because of my insanity on top of all this. I was borrowing more money from people and from companies (although luckily I had wrecked my credit rating early on in my gambling career or it could have been far worse) and it was just getting worse and worse each month. One of my friends asked me before, “how the fuck did you sleep at night?” and looking back I have no idea.
“We are grateful to be in Recovery today. To think the pain of active addiction is in the rear view mirror, but we must remain vigilant. If we let up in our program for too long our addiction will surely catch up to us.
Just For Today I will commit myself to my program.”
W is for Willingness - The final part of “HOW” and without it, for me, recovery would have been impossible. I threw myself head first into my recovery and was open to whatever people suggested to me and was willing to try. Someone once told me I was very teachable when it came to recovery and I think that proves the willingness I had. I knew if I was going to come out about my gambling, if I was going to admit I had a problem and needed help, I would lose the one thing I loved at that point and that was gambling. If I was going to lose gambling I was going to make sure it was worth it. Quickly in recovery I realised that my kids were the most important thing to me and that if I went back to gambling I would lose them. I am not willing for that to happen. I want to become a better person, I want to become a better Dad and I want to improve myself in all possible aspects. Recovery has given me a new lease of life and a willingness to succeed. I have even started a Diploma in Counselling Skills - Level 2 online which is something I would never have done if I was still gambling.
“At some point there is no excuse, either you want to do everything it takes to make it happen, or you don’t.”
X is for X Roads - Or crossroads, yeah I cheated a little, big deal. I feel like I have had two massive crossroads in my life regarding my gambling and recovery. The first is obviously when I decided that I was going to come clean to my partner. I have written before about the weekend prior to entering recovery and that was the pivotal moment. Without going into the details I’ll just say it was an up and down roller coaster of emotions and money that ended up with me at zero. It was at that point something in my head clicked and realised I was never going to be able to win my way out of this mess, it was only going to get worse. The question was did I want to own up and face the consequences or did I want to keep digging? For me the consequences of telling my partner was her kicking me out and me not being able to see my kids every day, that scared me to death. I can still remember the day I told my partner vividly. She had gone to the gym with her friend and I was pacing around the living room with a notebook in my hand. Earlier that day a friend of mine at work realised I wasn’t my “usual” self and asked if I wanted to go for a drink at lunch. So I did and told him what was going on. He was great and listened and said he reckons I should tell my partner and get the help I needed. So I wrote out all my debts, my budget going forward and my closest G.A. meeting, just in case I would forget anything when I was telling her. So her friend's car pulls up after the gym and she comes in and sits down. At this point I am still 50/50 in my head if I am going to tell her or not and my head is spinning. Then she starts telling me about the gym and how she got on and I was thinking to myself, “WHO THE F**K CARES ABOUT THE F**KING GYM! I’M TRYING TO DECIDE IF I SHOULD TELL YOU ABOUT MY GAMBLING ADDICTION!” My heart is beating so fast at this point like it’s going to jump out of my chest and I am panicking. So she finally stops talking and I just spit it out that I have a gambling problem and need help. I was crying, not for sympathy but because of the relief of finally admitting it, not only to her, but to myself, for the first time. I handed her the notebook and I was just waiting for her to throw me out but she didn’t, she stood by me. Got me to call round my parents and tell them and that’s when I officially entered recovery. The other crossroad was fairly recently in recovery, and I would say it wasn’t long after I was ten months gamble free. I basically had a real crisis of confidence, my low self-esteem came to the fore and I was debating if this new me was the real me or was I actually just a fraud. I think this came from a perfect storm of things. I always struggled with low self-esteem but I hadn’t really addressed it in recovery and I did my therapy reading at my Skype group and the feedback I got was overwhelmingly positive. People were saying really good things about me and I don’t think I was expecting it. Then around the same time I also had some other people telling me how much I had helped them, how good my writing was and how good a person I was and I think I just panicked. That voice inside my head telling me I wasn’t good enough was getting louder and louder and I was afraid that I was a fraud. I was afraid my recovery was a lie. I reached out and talked to people close to me and after several pretty intense hours I realised that it was down to me, I had to believe in myself. I had to take that leap of faith. I was also told to “remember that someone believes in you...me”, and that will stick with me forever. So, in my head I was standing on the top of a cliff and I just had to take a leap of faith and embrace this person I had become, waiting for me on the cliff top was the old me, my old behaviours and I didn’t want any part of that. So that’s what I did, I took that leap of faith and believed in myself.
“Feeling our Emotions again after we stop using can be very difficult. After suppressing what we felt for so long it is completely foreign to feel so much. Learning to process these feeling is important to maintain our Recovery”
Y is for You Know Who You Are - If I tried to name everyone who has had an impact on my recovery I would easily miss people out, so instead I am going to list what people have done for me or how they have made me feel and as the name suggests, you know who you are. You are the person who made me feel welcome, who made me smile, who made me laugh when I thought it was impossible, who stood by me, who looked after my finances, who gave me time to pay money back, who helped me up when I was down, who celebrated the good times with me, who talked to me when I needed someone, who listened to me when I needed to vent, who called me out on my bullshit, who gave me opportunities to improve myself, who made me believe in myself, who told me I was good enough, who told me I deserve this, who told me they were proud of me, who appreciated my help, who asked me for advice, who was honest with me, who made me see clearly, who inspires me by their commitment to life, who inspires me by their commitment to recovery, who read my blogs, who wanted me to succeed and who told me I could achieve my dreams.
“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. Don't miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”
Z is for Zombification - Is an instance or process of turning into a zombie. The process of zombification involves poisoning an individual with toxin from a puffer fish. So, I guess gambling is the puffer fish in this case because I could literally feel myself dying inside as I gambled at times. Time just slipped away while I said I would gamble for an hour, I was transfixed by the world of online gambling, it sucked me in and slowly sucked the life out of me. I would sit until the wee hours of the morning with no idea what was going on around me. I’d barely eat when gambling, I didn’t need to, there was no feeling of hunger. The longer I gambled the more numb I became to my emotions until the point I literally could feel emotion. I didn’t get angry or sad or happy, I was just meh. I went to my Granda’s funeral in January 2019 and couldn’t understand why people were upset. I felt nothing. Gambling had turned me into a zombie. Recovery is the process of de-zombification.
“At your very core, you are energy.
Stop killing it by killing yourself.
By slowly poisoning yourself.
By destroying your mind.
By chasing negativity.
Nurture your energy.
Let it grow & thrive.”
That was a long one but well worth the effort. I hope there’s something relatable there for anyone who reads it. I got a lot out of hitting on different topics in a shorter form and some stuff may not have made it into a “regular” blog.
Mark