PART TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY-ONE
Saturday
Lucas came awake at the first ding of his phone, snapping so quickly out of his sleep that a headache immediately pounded behind his eyes. A hand was already reaching across his chest, but he shoved it away. “I’m awake,” he murmured, without opening his eyes.
“Very well, sir,” he heard Angus reply, straightening up in his seat behind the wheel.
Using the same hand (since it was already in motion), Lucas fumbled for the phone in his pocket, and once he had it, he tapped his thumb against the bottom of the screen where the accept button would be located. “Dobson,” he said, only to get another series of beeps that went right through his addled brain.
He groaned and grimaced, pulling the phone away from his ear and cracking his eyes a fraction to look blearily at the screen.
“Allow me, sir,” Angus said, sliding the phone from his fingers.
Lucas closed his eyes. Yeah … sure. His thoughts started to feather once more.
“It’s a message from Boyd,” Angus said. “He sent…”
* * *
Call me if you can’t get in.
Robbie stared at the cryptic message from the big guy. What the bell did that even mean? Why wouldn’t I be able to get in? I’ve got my keys on me, and even if I didn’t, Lucas would … Ah, snit! Looking at the top bar, Robbie realised the message went to Lucas as well as Sam, Llyr and Ivy.
“Is everything alright?” Mrs D asked, pausing alongside Robbie with a box of Charlie’s clothes in her arms.
“Ummm, yeah. I think. Boyd’s just sending me weird messages.”
“Well, I hope he’s not sending them to Luke. That boy has done so many hours those black rings around his eyes could be mistaken for tractor inner tubes. He needs to sleep the rest of the weekend if he’s going to be any good as a detective Monday morning.”
“I’ll make sure he does, Mrs D,” Robbie promised, not disagreeing with her in the least. He himself may have had even less, but there was a very good reason for his ability to function on half an hour’s sleep.
“I still can’t believe he’s a detective,” Charlie muttered. “I’ve been cheering from the sidelines for him to get that promotion for nearly ten years, and when he finally gets it, I’m stuck in the hospital out cold.”
Robbie winced. “Actually, sweet pea, you’d be doing everyone a big favour if you didn’t remind him about that. He’s been beating himself up pretty hard that he was sitting for that test instead of sitting on you.”
“Well, that’s just dumb.”
Since it’s all coming out … “Charlie, he’s not the only one. I sent you an ‘are you okay?’ message yesterday morning, and did nothing about it when you didn't answer. I should’ve blown up your boss’ phone to find out why not, or gone to the shop myself to— oof!”
Robbie was so focused on getting through his apology that he didn’t see the My Little Pony pillow until it smacked him in the face. Charlie was across the room, a vexed look on her face and her finger pointing at him accusingly. “That’s your only warning, mister! Neither you, nor that idiot brother of mine is responsible for what happened to me and P—”
She froze; tears suddenly springing to life in her eyes. But then she gnashed her teeth and curled her finger, tapping herself in the forehead in her determination to keep it under control.
Robbie wasn’t having a bar of that.
Launching himself across her bed, he landed to one side facing her and hauled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “Go on, honey. Don't try to hold it in. Let it all out,” he crooned, as Charlie stiffened in his arms. “Paul was a good man and deserves your tears.”
Charlie gasped at the mention of her former boss’ name. She squirmed and struggled, pushing the flat of her hands against his chest. When that didn’t work, the pushing turned into slapping and the tears turned into deep, howling sobs.
This wasn’t going away anytime soon. Paul had been more than just a boss to Charlie. He had been her friend and a second father of sorts. His loss and the way he was taken would forever haunt Charlie.
“That’s it, sweet pea.” Robbie held her easily, shifting between squeezes of support and soft, comfort petting of her hair back and shoulders with one hand.
Mrs D stood to one side, watching them. The box that had been in her hands was all but abandoned at her feet and her hands were in front of her lips in prayer. Tears streamed down her cheeks as well.
The bedroom door suddenly burst open and Maverick came charging in, followed by Coach. The others were noticeably absent, which meant they were probably somewhere between the apartment and the cars. Mrs D stepped between the two groups with her arms outstretched, causing her son and her husband to screech to a halt. Their eyes shifted from Mrs D to where Robbie supported Charlie’s weight (since her knees had given out and she cried into his chest) and back again.
“Leave them,” Mrs D whispered, her words rough with built-up emotion as she waved them back towards the door.
Coach slid his arms around Mrs D and pulled her close, while Maverick pinched his lips to keep it together, his head bobbing affirmatively.
Something changed in that moment. Robbie wasn’t quite sure what, but the dynamics moved. No one was trying to pull Charlie away from him and take his place. Whatever they had seen just then, had Robbie going from the friend of Lucas who was batting way out of his league, to the man responsible for their daughtesister.
As they left the room and closed the door, Robbie slid his hand under Charlie's knees and lifted her into his arms, backing up to sit on the edge of the bed. He then started to rock her as she continued to cry.
“T-T-There w-was-s-s-so m-much…blood,” she sobbed.
“I know, sweet pea. I wish to God you’d never seen that. But we’ll get through it. One day at a time. It’s okay. This sort of thing is going to happen now and again and you're better off just letting it wash over you.”
“W-W-What?”
“Reminders of last night. Small things. In time, it’ll be easier to deal with, but they’ll still come. When it does, you should let the tears come, Charlie. You’ll never move forward if you don’t let yourself grieve.”
They sat like that for a while, until the sobs ebbed away into deep sniffles. “So much for me being the testosterone queen,” she huffed, wiping her eyes.
“Sweetheart, your brothers and your dad have already cried their hearts out over what happened to you last night.”
“Really?”
Robbie lifted his chin and kissed her hair, but only so she wouldn’t see how much her harmless question annoyed him. Charlie was so fixated on out-manning the men of her family, it bordered on obsessive. If it was the last thing he did, he’d be nurturing her feminine side too (as opposed to ramming it down her neck). “Really, sweet pea.” He dragged his chin across her head and sighed. “The doctors gave you some sleeping pills. I think it’ll be a really good idea if, once we get you home and settled, you took one and had an early night.”
Charlie shook her head. “I was asleep long enough.”
“Charlie, nothing’s going to happen to you. I’ll be right there. The spare room’s already been set up for you, and there’s a king-sized bed in there, so yeah, I’ll be right there with you. I’ll be the last thing you see going to sleep, and the first thing you see waking up. I promise.”
He just wasn’t going to tell her exactly how he planned to do that. Not yet, anyway.
At his earliest convenience, he was going to excuse himself and ‘go to the bathroom’. Only, instead of relieving himself, he’d be realm-stepping over to Walmart and relieving them of a video linked baby monitor in the guise of a teddy bear, or some other type of plush toy.
Well, buying it, but still...
Hopefully, not too many people would be at the superstore, so with luck, he could be in and out without anyone being any the wiser, hiding the camera under the bathroom sink until he could set it up later.
In the morning, after she’d had a good night sleep and a filling breakfast, he’d show her the toy and why he’d bought it.
Hopefully, she wouldn’t get too mad.
* * *
​
PART TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY-TWO
​
Previous Part 260
((All comments welcome))
I made a family tree/diagram of the Mystallian family that can be found here
For more of my work including previous parts or WPs: Angel466 or indexed here
FULL INDEX OF BOB THE HOBO TO DATE CAN BE FOUND HERE!!

We more often than not regret or apologize only after our actions have come back to haunt us. So, what do you do, when you pay the price for trying to make everyone happy through those actions?
Her name is Kim. She first transferred to my school in the 6th grade, and I didn’t know her so naturally I never thought anything of her. But now, she’s probably the greatest person I’ve ever known. She has my sense of humor, she’s smart, has a big love for music just like me, loved nature, is very independent and honest. She’s short with a very thin frame and dark brown hair down to the middle of her back. We started talking in our junior year of high school. We were paired in our shared art class and I didn’t think of her as anything more than a classmate who I honestly thought was kind of pretty. She wore these expensive looking, but still casual clothes. Some nice earrings and what looked like the latest iPhone. So she was wealthy I assumed, at least more than most. I walked to her table and sat down next to her. It was about 2 minuets of painful silence before the first words were said.
K “So, what do you wanna paint” She asked
D “oh uhm, it’s up to you I guess” I responded
K “really, c’mon”
D “I have nothing seriously”
She heavily sighed and said “fine, I say we paint the shire”
D “The what?”
K “No, you’re joking”
D “uhh no I’m not”
K “The lord of the rings!!!”
D “ohhhhhhhhhhh, I haven’t seen it”
K “Watch it!! You’ll never forget your first time watching the whole trilogy”
That was pretty much our first conversation, it wasn’t until the last week of our junior year when I thought of her as a friend, and we were somewhat close. So, I saw no problem in asking her to hang out after school. I was so nervous even though I thought of her as a friend, and I wanted my invitation to be as friendly as possible. So, I simply said “hey do you wanna stay after school and go on a walk?” I couldn’t just ask to go to her house as she lives with her aunt, and because I’m pretty poor so I didn’t have access to a car. And to my surprise she said yes. I honestly felt butterflies when she said it, and I let out an uncontrolled sigh of relief afterword. It went great, and it was tons of fun. It started kind of awkward. I mean we’re friends but this just felt different than sitting in a classroom and making jokes.
We walked to the mall, and just walked around in it not buying anything but still going in every store. We talked the whole time about, well life. We basically bonded that day, and ever since I’ve felt a little different after that. I think we’ve all had that day, where we have a different feeling towards someone we’ve known for a while. I didn’t understand it at first, but after that day, I kind of looked forward to seeing her every day. I did binge “the lord of the rings” trilogy, she insisted the extended edition, we went to the mall once a week to buy basically nothing, and… It was honestly the happiest I’ve ever been. But at the time I wish I could’ve told her about my “night hobby.” Now I only wish, I knew about hers.
Oh yeah, I didn’t tell who I was. My name is Daniel, I'm now in the middle of my senior in high school, and I'll be honest, I went down the wrong path early. I personally think it's justified, but I understand it's still bad. It’s just me and my mom that live in our home 30 minutes away from school and civilization. It’s in the middle of nowhere and our nearest neighbor lives 20 minutes away. Mom would drop me off every morning at the bus stop, and she would leave to work as I waited. But when she left, I would sometimes not wait for the bus, but rather leave and go off and do uhm… not good things. See this night hobby I mentioned, well what I would do was… I would… break into houses at night.
It sounds bad I KNOW, but I want to at least tell why I did it. My mom is very poor because she never seems to keep a job, I’ve spent too many nights listening to her soft sobs of frustration with life through the walls. But she always gave a smile and love to me. Of course, I give her it in return. One night in my sophomore year, before I ever met Kim, I was super depressed and felt life was nothing anymore. I know my mom felt the same, because I could hear her cry down the hall. I was fed up, and decided to do something. My logic, take something from someone with way more money. I mean… they have enough wealth to replace something small. I just want to take a small load off my mom.
So, the next morning I planned to skip school after my mom left me at the bus stop, and go off to one of the many suburban neighborhoods in the city and just, take something. The plan was set, and once my mom did drop me off with the other students waiting, I sat down till she drove around the corner, then I got up and just started walking. For about an hour I walked. I didn’t want to go to the nearest neighborhood, so I went to the second one down. I made it and my feet were killing me. I saw a kid on a bike riding around and I thought “why isn’t he in school” and, a bike would be amazing right now. I then went behind a house and waited, luckily no one saw me just standing around a corner stalking this guy on a bike. I played the waiting game and I won.
He eventually set the bike on the wall of his house and walked inside. With so many nerves, and anxiety. I sprinted towards the house, got on the bike, and peddled straight for the exit. I didn’t look back and peddled all the way back to the bus stop. Obviously by then the students were at school, so I took the bike further to the Walmart about 10 minutes away. I stole a can of black spray paint, bought a soda to avoid suspicion, and left.
When I rode back to the bus stop, I went into the woods that lead to my house and spray painted the light blue bike completely black. I got pretty high on the fumes; I didn’t know that would happen. Karma, I guess. That was my first, and second time stealing something and it honestly… felt good. The adrenaline was like a drug and I wanted to do it again.
After that I didn’t take the bike home because mom would notice, so I hid it in some branches, leaves, and other stuff around in the woods I could find. I hid it near the bus stop so when I wanted to skip school, I had a ride. Once a week I would go and ditch school completely to steal something new. What I consider as my first big robbery was a car. It was a 2014 toyota and I just looked up how to unlock doors on youtube, and after some practice on mom’s cheap car, I tried it on this Toyota. It worked like a charm and I ended up with 200 dollars in the glove compartment. Pretty lucky because who just leaves cash laying around in the car.
I robbed nothing but cars for about three more months, ending up with mostly small necessities and about 700 dollars. I never ended finding a jackpot like my first car though. It was so exciting every time I did it. By that time mom found a small job and I honestly felt like I was helping by secretly giving her some of the money I stole. Sneaking it into her purse when she was away from it. But I knew it wasn’t enough in the long run and I finally set my sights, on a house.
That was at the start of my junior year, and nearly the same time I met Kim. I found myself riding my bike to the same neighborhood I stole the bike from and started looking for a house I felt didn’t have much security, and/or the owner had a lot of money. I found one near the end which was nice for a quick escape, and with only one car out front I assumed it was one or two people inside. I told myself that I will only do 10 robberies, because I was already cutting it close with everything else. And after about a week of looking I found the perfect house.
The yard was right up against the tree line to the woods, which would be my get away. That Friday night I told mom I was gonna spend the night at my best friend Charlie’s house, I packed my bag full of stuff I was going to use, and she dropped me off at the bus stop where I told her my Charlie was going to pick me up. I got her to leave by saying they were about two minuets away, then I dug up the bike and rode to get into position. I wanted to wait till at least 2am, so I waited and waited listening to Linkin Park and Guns and roses to hype myself up. I downed an energy drink and hopped the fence into the back yard. Went up to a window and using my car experience I got it open and climbed inside.
I didn’t know where to go first, I didn’t think I’d make it this far. I went into one bedroom and just opened a few drawers; thank goodness this room was empty. I went to the next room across the hall and went into the closet to look around. I was so filled with so much excitement and adrenaline, that I’m surprised I remained so quiet. While moving my hand across the top of the closet, I felt a small metal box on top. I pulled it down and tried to get it open quietly. I decided “screw it, I’m out” and just took the whole box.
Once I got back outside and over the fence, I felt the most immense joy overcome me. I loved the rush and thought “I’m in the clear, lets break this thing open.” Using a hammer I bought, I smashed the lock and looked inside. It was over 2000 dollars in cash, and beside it was about 10 grams of weed and a shot bottle of some alcohol. I get the most INSANE luck on my first runs it seems. I then went to the bench by the bus stop and just fell asleep. That was my first house break in and I basically paid for almost all our bills that month, mom thought she did, but I saved her a lot of money for her to use on herself. She seemed happier and it made me happier.
Life was great at the end of my junior year, I was falling in love with this amazing girl, had nine robberies under my belt with one to go, and I was able to provide for me and my mom. The downside was our city had caught on to the increase of houses being robbed, and social media wouldn’t let me escape the reality of what I had been doing. I’d been in the local newspapers and the anxiety was building. I thought about quitting while I was ahead because I was pretty lucky to not have already been caught. But was unsure.
That wasn’t the only pebble in my shoe. At the start of my senior year, I was urning to tell Kim how I felt, I didn’t like holding it in and I was confident she felt the same way. That’s a lie I wasn’t confident at all I was terrified she didn’t like me back. The thought of rejection was almost more nerve racking than preparing for a robbery. Nonetheless I was to much of a chicken to tell her.
One thought I had in the back of my mind was, I take from people, and some could be like Kim. It made me start to regret a little. We both joined the next art class just called Art ll, and I got to see her every day. We were also fortunate to be partners again. Our first project was to paint some sort of portrait of ourselves. So, we took a selfie and tried to paint it as best as we could. Kim and my mom were making my world go round and it was an amazing period. I was feeling pretty good about life and felt invincible, and that’s a very bad feeling to have.
Kim’s birthday was coming up and when I asked her what she wanted she just said that I don’t have to get her anything. She said she “had enough already” but I wasn’t going to listen to that and I wanted to get her something nice. I’m terrible at gifting, plus I’m poor. She loves the lord of the rings franchise and the band Queen, I mean who doesn’t love both of those things. So, I had my eye on getting her the extended edition box set, and a vinyl of Queens “A night at the opera” it’s my favorite album and I hope she’ll like it. Furthermore, back at home mom told me that she was looking at trading in her car, and she was going to save up money for a while to do so. But I thought “well, I can most certainly help with that.” But I was still broke, and I needed to get good gifts, AND help pay for a car.
I started to hate myself more and more before each new job. Each time I entered a house I thought of Kim. What would she think of me if she found out? I promised myself ten jobs and I was on nine. I kept telling myself again that these people could afford to lose the small amount I took (well small for them). I said I was loving life, and I was, but only the outside of what I did at night. I was already feeling the guilt hanging above my head before the last robbery. But was also relived that it was almost over, and I could pursue a normal way of getting money like a part time job. I could sleep at night again, and grow more with Kim. But the only way to get to that chapter of my life, I would have to finish writing the one I was on. It was time to start planning for my biggest, and final job.
I was going to do this last one differently, instead of a house with little guests and bad security, I was going to go to a bigger house on the higher end of one of the richest neighborhoods. I was getting cocky and wanted to go out on a banger.
Nonetheless I still had rules, one of them being they had to be near the forest line, and another being the house had at most two cars in the lot. The truth behind the cars rule was I was hoping it wasn’t a full family I was robbing, only one or two rich people. It doesn’t make much sense but again I was hoping for it. I gathered info on my last house, two stories, twelve windows, six cameras on the outside, but almost no blind spots but one, and I was going to exploit it. See they pan left and right, and there are two that at the exact same time pan to opposite directions. So, the middle would be clear for about five seconds, in that time I would try to sprint to get underneath the cameras. I was going to use a crowbar to unhook the side window to the living room and climb inside. Then so on, going in a room, looting boxes, drawers, and maybe safes quietly. After that, back out the window and wait for my five second window and leave. Maybe the camera would catch me for a second, but that would be on my way out, and thus too late.
The date was set, and soon enough on Friday, October 10th I would make my move. I sat in art class around 12 o clock, the anticipation and nerves were immeasurable. The teacher was explaining the assignment but I didn’t hear a word of it. My thoughts ran wild and I began to doubt myself throughout the day.
“Hey, you okay?” said Kim
D “Oh shi- uhh yeah I’m fine, just didn’t get much sleep”
K “Aww whys that, what’s her name?”
D “What?!”
She giggled “just kidding, but seriously what’s wrong”
D “I guess I’m just stressed about stuff”
K “Like?”
D “You know, school”
K “That makes sense, but just don’t get behind this early, then you’ll be stressing hard”
D “Trust me I know what that feels like, I’ve only done it all three years”
K “I… believe in you, I mean that, your hard work will pay off”
I looked in her eyes after that and, just was amazed, I honestly wanted to marry this girl, she couldn’t possibly know what was going on, but her belief in me calmed and motivated me. This was for her and my mom. I was going to finish this and move on. It was in that moment I decided while looking into her beautiful eyes, that I was going to tell her how I felt on her birthday. I thought of it as a cherry on top for her gift. The day went by and I saw Kim after school again, and she said her parents were going to pick her up as she was going to stay at their place over the weekend.
D “So, when are they getting here?”
She looked at her phone “I don’t know, mom said her and dad left the house and would be here in about 5 minutes, and that was 10 minutes ago.”
D “Damn, that kind of sucks”
She sighed, “yeah it does. Dan, I don’t want to look dumb here alone can you stay with me please? We could drop you off at home”
D “oh wow, I mean you don’t have to do that but…”
K “No seriously I’m sure my mom won’t mind”
D “Okaaaay”
K “yes! okay I see the car”
D “Well, that’s convenient”
She then pointed towards this black car, and I couldn’t believe it honestly, it was a Bentley Continental GT. I was in shock, not only because that meant that her parents were pretty wealthy, but the car was beautiful. I finally got to meet her parents and they were very nice to me. Her dad intimidated the hell out of me though. But they agreed to give me a ride back to the bus stop where my mom would get me, and on the way, we broke the ice with talks of school. But I also thought her dad was interrogating me, he asked about my plans after school, my grades, colleges, hobbies, and more. When we got to the stop, I said bye to Kim and her parents and they rode off. I immediately felt just how poor I was once I stepped out of the vehicle, that was a different feeling being in there. From there my mom picked me up and took me home, where I would make my final preparations for the night ahead.
It was around 10:30pm when mom fell asleep, once I was sure she was sound, I locked my door, grabbed my bag, and was off. Using my bike that I hid around the perimeter of my house for this occasion I started the ride. The normally 30-minute drive was so much longer now that I was on a bike, and so around 11:50pm I made it to my stop.
I waited for two more hours until about 2am, listening to a creepypasta narrated by mrcreepypasta while waiting, and once my alarm went off, I jolted up in a panic. This was it. My last one. It will finally be over. Putting on my balaclava and black fingerless gloves, I thought about Kim. I felt immediate shame after that, but there was no turning back. I looked at the security cameras waiting for my window to pounce. About two minutes had went by and my chance went by a few times. I was waiting for the right moment, the one made for me. Then it hit, the cameras went outward in opposite directions for what felt like the thousandth time, but I knew this was the one.
I jumped the fence, and as I hit the ground I landed badly on my left ankle. It hurt like hell but I had to move quickly. I ran as fast as I as I could towards the wall. Each step more painful that the last, at this speed I wasn’t going make it. So, in the last second before the camera panned back my way. I dolphin dived for the wall, just nearly missing the cameras by about half a second and planting hard on my shoulder. I got up relived, but still in so much pain. My ankle was done, but the job wasn’t, so I had to keep going. I maneuvered towards the side window and put my crowbar near the latch. I slightly pried it open and used a wire to unhook the latch. Once it was open, I slowly pulled it up and crawled inside, trying to make as little noise as possible.
I was in. It was dead quiet and nearly pitch black, with the only light being the back-porch light leaking in through the window and casting my shadow onto the living room wall. I carefully walked towards the hallway before seeing nice a JBL speaker by a lamp. I grabbed it and put it into my bag, and kept walking. Once in the hallway, I put my ear up to the first door, I heard snoring. So, there was no going in there. I went to the next, and heard no sound. So, I tried the door, and it turned with a slight creek. I went in and had the dresser in my sight. I walked over to in and opened the first one, it was just panties. So, a girl stayed in this room, I saw airpods on top and I put those in my bag as well. Then I found a purse and without looking at the ID I grabbed the money. But what caught my eye next was gold.
A jewelry box, and judging by the look of this house, it held some expensive stuff. I opened the jewelry box, and found a beautiful necklace. This was perfect, who knows how much this is worth! I was getting excited till I felt something loose underneath the box. I turned it over and saw that it had a secret compartment underneath. That only means even more valuable stuff. I had completely forgot about being quiet and why I was there, when I heard something, from behind me.
It was a shuffle, and what sounded like someone tossing and turning, in a bed. THERE WAS SOMEONE IN HERE. The dread and chills hit me hard. I’m such an idiot. I got to caught up in seeing the dresser I forgot to check my basic surroundings. I didn’t move for what felt like minutes but couldn’t have been more than ten seconds. But then I heard her voice.
“Who are you?”
Her voice was so calm and collected, like she was greeting me. I started to shake in fear. But her voice sounded familiar. It was over. I started to turn around when she spoke again.
“I hope you know we have a gun, and you won’t get far”
She sounded like she was putting herself above me, like she had more power. I now looked at her. And… it was Kim. No, no no no. It all hit me like a bullet. The fancy car, expensive clothes, earrings, and technology. They were from her rich parents, and this was their house. I stared at her but what she did terrified me. She put her finger up to her lips, and shushed me.
“Don’t move, or I’ll scream as loud as I can. My dad will hear, and will grab his gun and find you.”
I stared her down with anger in my eyes, but my real emotion was heartbreak, I had broken into Kim’s parents’ house, but those emotions had to wait. She had me in a tight situation. How the hell was she so calm and in control, she was never like this ever with me, or even showed signs of this behavior. She was always so nice and would never hurt a fly, or at least that what she showed around me. This wasn’t her; this person was basically threatening that her dad would kill me. The Kim I thought I knew would never put anyone into harm. But this wasn’t my first time doing this, of course I had planned an escape, and I was about to use it. I still had my hands on the box behind my back, and I thought that pretty necklace would do just fine. But it was Kim, I couldn’t. Thoughts ran through my head, guilt, pain, and regret swallowed me. I stared at the floor, waiting for what she said next.
“That box you have there, it’s very important, could you put it down please”
Without responding in any way. I dashed for the door with the box in hand. And true to her word, she let out a horrific scream that pierced through every wall in this big house. Trying to be quiet wasn’t an issue anymore. I ran down the hallway and into the living room, but while turning. My sprained ankle reminded me I wasn’t going far. Putting all the weight on it trying to turn, I collapsed in agonizing pain. I held in a scream of pain and tried to get back up. But it wasn’t happening, I wouldn’t get far like this.
I crawled to the kitchen next to the living room. While there I heard loud footsteps behind me, it was her dad, and he was hunting me. There was a door in the back of the kitchen I saw and I decided to go there. I opened it and crawled in; it was pitch black. Almost as soon as it closed, I heard her dad reach the living room. He cocked his weapon to let me know he was armed. I turned on my phone flashlight I had to better see. It flipped on, but what I saw next, made me sick to my stomach. What lied ahead of me only lit by my small phone flashlight. Was a board, and on it. Were dozens of teenage boys, all of them with Xs drawn over them, and written in red beside their names, was one word. Sold. But at the bottom of the list, the only one without an X or sold, was an all too familiar name. It was mine.
“What the fu” and before I could finish my sentence, I heard Kim’s dad stomping towards the door. “Crap” I told myself, I flipped my phone to the camera, and took a photo with the flash on. I then got up on my good leg and hopped over behind a box. The door swung open and he reached for a light. The light pierced the room and so did silence. I closed my eyes thinking I was going to die. He was looking but wasn’t entering the room. “Did anyone come in here?” He spoke, but no response. He scoffed, turned the light back off, and closed the door. I’ll be honest I was crying in that room after that. What was that board? Who were those names? What happened to them? It all ran in my mind when clouding reality when…
“He’s gone”
I nearly screamed when I heard those words. I covered my mouth to avoid it.
“It’s okay, he’s gone, get out of here.”
I was so confused; I turned my light back on in the direction of the voice. It was a boy, in a little cage in the corner. He was so frail and looked like he hasn’t seen light in days, because he covered himself when I put the light on him.
“What the hell is this” I asked
“This is hell” he said with nothing but pain in his voice
“What happened to you?”
“She happened to me”
D “Who’s she?”
“The girl, Kim”
D “what I don’t underst…”
“Leave here now, they have the police, the town on their side, there’s no winning just leave”
D “I can’t just leave y…”
“Go, before it’s too late”
D ‘What’s your name, at least tell me that”
“It’s Joseph”
By then I heard sirens in the distance, I had to get out somehow.
“Ill come back for you Joseph”
J “please don’t” he said hopelessly
I left Joseph and limped towards the door. I opened it slowly and could still hear Kim’s dad, but he was now upstairs, presumedly looking for me. I limped towards the window practically throwing myself out of it. I didn’t care about the cameras anymore. Painfully I walked through the backyard towards the fence. Thank God no one saw me. I hopped the fence and hit the ground hard. I landed on the bag I had on and it hurt like hell. Which reminded me, I still had the box. I hopped on my bike and rode into the woods. There was no way I would get far going my usual route back home. My best bet I thought was to ride into the woods for a while till it was clear.
After about an hour of straight woods I stopped. I got off and dropped to the floor exhausted. Still in tears I wondered about Kim. This wasn’t how I usually thought of her though. My feelings were running wild and I didn’t know what to think. Did I still love her? Did she even love me? After being in misery for a little bit I got back up and started the ride back home. It was 6:00am by the time I got back home. I had never felt so physically and mentally exhausted in my life. I climbed back through my window, threw my bag into my closet, and collapsed into bed.
When I woke up, I had a text message from Kim, it read “Dan, my parents house was broken into last night, it was crazy, I woke up to this dude in my room and when I screamed he ran off.” I messaged back, “WTF that’s crazy, are you okay.” She replied, “yeah I’m okay don’t worry, police didn’t catch him which sucks, but I’ll tell you the whole thing next time we meet.” My last message was “Sounds good, I’m glad you’re okay, be careful.”
I remembered I took a photo after that, and it was nearly a perfect photo of the whole board. I’m making a guess but I don’t think I’m far off. I think they were running some sort of slavery business. It had names of sellers, buyers, and those who were sold or still on the market. I remember one thing Joseph said to me, he said that ‘they’ had the police and town on their side. So, this could go deeper than I ever imagined. He also said that Kim did this to him. But how I don’t know. As for the box, well, besides a necklace and earring worth over 20,000 dollars, were pictures of me. One of them of me walking home, one of my house, another of me at the bus stop. They were stalking me, which raises the question, do they know about the robberies?
Everything you read happened regarding my last robbery was on October 10th through the 11th. It’s now May at the time I’m writing this. I’m at my lowest point in life. All I wanted to do was help out my mom, I got selfish, and I regret what I’ve done. Every time I see Kim or her parents I think of that night. Nonetheless I still talk to Kim, but it has gotten to be more of practice for my acting, since I can’t look at her the same. I can’t allow her to know that I know what her and her family do. My poor mother worries for me, I can’t tell her why, and that hurts. Hopefully ill just move away and hope I never see them again. Or worst-case scenario, I end up like Joseph. Ill update if anything goes down, stay safe everyone. Dan

Author's note: Got a request last time for visuals on the cars. Hard to do since I'm not at home with my computer, but this is the car (with the bent subframe horn) that will be the base for War God and here's Mercury the Rambulance. And here's the rear bumper script from War God, although it will actually be staying with the other car during its rebuild. ;-)
Hope you enjoy Fess being diplomatic!
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"Poison, we've got war crimes incoming," I said into the CB. "I'm going to go yell at the queen. Get ready to scoot if needed. Over."
"Copy. You want us to start shooting if things turn ugly? Over."
"I'm pretty sure that telling her that she's on her own if she does this will work, but maybe dial one of the grenades for airburst and put it 300 yards over their heads if I have to shoot anything… more than once. I may need to focus their attention. Over."
"Roger."
I was starting to get the hang of letting my words flow through my mind to Gennie at the same time as I spoke them. It sure made for less repetition.
<* YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT THE ELVES NOW? ARE YOU CONSUMED BY BATTLE MADNESS? *>
<* It's not bloodlust. And I'll only fight them if I absolutely have to. Honor means defending the defenseless, even if I was just kicking their asses. Possibly especially if I was just kicking their asses. Plus, killing troops that surrender is just shitty strategy. It discourages others from surrendering. *>
<* I SEE YOUR POINT. VERY WELL. IF YOU ARE FORCED TO DEPART, I WILL COME WITH YOU. *>
Well, at least the dinosaur wasn't an asshole.
I drove right up to Sisme, pulling up about ten feet away. I shifted into neutral and got out, giving off a definite vibe of unhappiness.
"Sisme! Order those troops to stand down, now! We're not executing prisoners!"
Oz gabbled at her, and she replied.
"What do you mean?! They came to destroy us, I'm not just going to let them go!"
"We're not letting them go, but no one else will surrender if you kill the ones that do, and it's against my code, to boot. And we can't get information about their overall strategy if they're dead!"
She looked unconvinced. Worse, she hadn't ordered the marching elves to halt and they were getting close to the trolls. I was glad Anneke wasn't here. This was probably going to cause some friction.
I walked up to the queen, towered over her, leaned way down until I was firmly inside her personal space, and growled out, "If you do this, you're on your own from now on. It's also really going to piss me off. Try asking the old king how well that works out." I left the unspoken threat hang in the air like a particularly rancid beer fart.
Credit where credit is due, she remained remarkably composed with an angry demon snarling in her face.
After Oz relayed that, she said something, which caused Khaavren to shout something at the pikemen. It looked like it wasn't an order to come attack me, because they just raised their pikes and fell into a square. Excellent. Crisis maybe averted. I stopped looming and backed off a hair.
After I'd told Ivy to stand down, we marched some of the trolls that were in better shape back out to pick up the less severely wounded and offer mercy to the unsalvageable, as well as to pick up some of the less offensive portions of their baggage train. No point in denying them all comforts in their defeat. Plus, if they were eating their food, they weren't eating ours.
A couple of hours later, the remnants of the troll army had been corralled in a temporary holding area outside the city, and guards posted. Between what Friday had mentioned, and things the troops had picked up from shepherding the prisoners around, most of the elves were giving us a wide berth. Friday wouldn't even look at me. Oz was acting pretty skittish. Sisme, oddly enough, had stuck by my side since I'd rolled back through the gates and parked in front of the palace.
As was my usual tendency, I had brought presents for people. Friday and Oz each got a case of ballpoint pens, a case of black sharpies, and a set of the colored ones as well. I gave Anneke some "normal" clothes to change into if she wanted. I mean, it was all just stuff from Walmart and Target but I'd asked my sister what her seventeen year old liked to wear and it looked like a big hit. Though I'd asked her for the sizes for the thirteen year old. Heh. I decided not to tell Anneke that part.
Since I knew they were the same size, I gave Sisme pretty much the same stuff I'd given Anneke, only in the most garish colors I could find to suit her elven sensibilities. The queen seemed amused by the foreign clothing, although I think that the leggings kinda confused her. I guess she probably didn't have a lot of experience with cloth that was stretchy. I also gave her a knife I'd ground years earlier out of stainless damascus stock, and she declared it one of the prettiest things she'd ever seen.
Then, with Oz handling translation duties, I presented Andy with a rifle. I pulled an AR-15 a friend had given me a few years ago out of a case.
"Ok, mate, safe weapons handling follows four rules, handed down by the gods through their prophet Colonel Cooper."
"One, the weapon is always loaded. You can watch me check the chamber before I hand it to you. You can check it yourself after I hand it to you. Unless you have personally verified that it has been rendered mechanically incapable of firing, you will always act as though it is loaded and ready to fire."
"Two, as a corollary, never point the weapon at anything you are not willing to destroy. Because it's always loaded."
"Three, keep your godsdamned finger off the trigger until you are ready to fire. I'll give you a lot more instruction on proper gun handling, but for now, just remember not to touch the trigger until you have your target in the sights."
I held up the rifle, keeping the muzzle down, and gestured with my trigger finger, showing how it was out straight and alongside the trigger guard.
"Four, you are responsible for every bullet that leaves the weapon. There is no oops. There is no I'm sorry. You point it, you pull the trigger, you own it. It's not coming back. Always know what your ultimate backstop is. If you shoot at something, know what you will hit if you miss. Know what you will hit if you shoot your target accurately and the bullet goes through it."
With that, I checked again to make sure the chamber was empty, showed him how to check the chamber, and handed it over. Yes, it had been a gift from a close friend, but like Galadriel said, a gift you can't give away isn't a gift, it's a trap. And immediately gave him a swat on the hand for putting his finger on the trigger. And then pulled the muzzle up when he pointed it in an unsafe direction. Then I showed him how to sling it across his back and told him to leave it there until we could go over using it in more detail in the morning.
A couple of unlucky stableboys were assigned to wash troll guts off of Mercury, and I spent a while making sure that War God had made it through ok, refilling the tanks out of one of the drums of petrol I'd brought on the trailer. The pleasing scent of Hoppe's #9 wafted through the air as Corwin and Ivy cleaned the guns while I handled the mechanic's duty.
"Wait, how much fuel did I use?" Ivy asked.
"She's a thirsty girl. I'd say that you were probably making about seven miles per gallon."
"Fess! That's terrible!"
"Hey, at least it doesn't run on coal like your Tesla!"
She glared at me. She was lots better at it than Anneke was. Corwin snickered at us.
"I swear you guys snipe at each other just as much as you did when you were still dating."
"At least she hasn't decided to snipe me for real."
"Yet," she chimed in. "Keep it up, tall, broad, and fuzzy."
"You know you'd be sad if I was all meek, oh mighty queen."
"Your friend is royalty?" Oz asked.
"Only in her own mind," Corwin replied.
She backhanded his shoulder and stuck her nose in the air with a "hmph!" sound. "Just because no one is bright enough to recognize my naturally regal nature doesn't mean they won't all some day come to their senses."
"Yes, your majesty," Corey and I said in synch.
"How long did you two practice that?"
"Whaddya mean 'practice'? We're just suuuuuper submissive to your rule, darlin'," I managed to say with a straight face for a whole three seconds, before Corwin caught my eye and we both broke up laughing.
She blew a raspberry and shook a fist at the two of us. "One of these days, Alice…"
"Well, it's going to have to wait until we get home, since there's no moon to bang-zoom us to, at the moment," Corey snarked in return.
"Anyway, let's go grab something to eat," I suggested.
"The queen has told me that there will be a feast in your honor tonight, Fess, Ivy, Corwin. You have saved us from certain destruction. Though I fear my apprentice may never recover."
"I tried to get her to not come along…"
"I think she got the wrong impression about her military suitability from your successful venture into the troll kingdom."
"Yeah. I suspect that even having seen what happened to the king, and the aftermath of the last battle, what we managed today was literally unimaginable for her, before she saw it."
Well, it was a heck of a shindig, that's for sure. The three of us were sitting with Anneke, Sisme, Oz, Friday, Khaavren, and a half dozen other elves I was led to understand were important folks. They had fancy hats, anyway. After the meal was over, things devolved into a general party atmosphere. I guess not being obliterated was just the sort of thing to get people to let loose.
We milled around for a while, breaking away to go check things out, meeting back up, and the like, though it was odd being at a party where I couldn't actually talk to most of the guests. In a good way, since I wasn't all that great at talking to folks at parties anyway. And yet, more than half the time I looked, Friday and Sisme were somewhere nearby. Not having forgotten being drugged, I decided to make sure to pour my own drinks.
"Oh Fess! I heard Ivy singsong behind me. "I just had the most interesting conversation with your young German friend…"
Crap.
"Oh?" I replied, aiming for nonchalance.
"Apparently she overheard Corey mentioning that we used to date."
"And?"
"And so she asked me for some pointers."
"Please tell me that you told her what an ogre I am, that no sane woman would ever want to be involved with me, and that she should go back to Earth and find some nice boy or girl her own age."
"Nope! I gave her lots of suggestions about things that you find attractive."
"Damnit, Ivy, she's sixteen. What did that poor girl ever do to you?"
"I just like to help people out. You know how helpful I can be."
"Seems excessively cruel to lead her on. You know I'm not going to go there at her age!"
She started laughing, which made me wonder if something had happened to her brain during the shift, because frankly, Ivy is a lot more considerate of other people than I am.
"Oh, holy fuck, you should see the look on your face, Fess. I'm just fucking with you. Of course I told her it was a terrible idea. Talk about awkward conversations though. I never expected to get asked by a child how to seduce my ex."
Friday was apparently running a translation for Sisme, and they were both having a hard time restraining their mirth. Corey had sauntered over at some point and he wasn't even bothering to try.
"Well I hope you were at least kind about it."
"Oh, Fess, of course I was. I remember what it was like pining for some older guy when I got into college at fifteen, and him quite rightly running away. Repeatedly. Actually, I told her about that, with the suggestion that she not duplicate my error. Of course, she is sixteen, so who knows if she'll actually listen to news she doesn't want to hear."
"This is because of the crack about your Tesla, isn't it?"
"Hell hath no fury like a woman whose car has been scorned."
I raised my left eyebrow at her, and gave her a stone faced look. Then I smiled, "Ok, you got me. Well done. Sorry about that. Thanks for putting up with it for me."
"Oh, don't worry. I'll figure out some way for you to pay me back."
"Oh, rest assured that there will be payback…"
She just laughed and wandered off to grab another cup of tea. Corwin headed my way, stating, "Man, you looked like you had swallowed a skunk whole."
"Dude… okay, it was funny, in retrospect."
Sisme and Friday took off in another direction, trailing high pitched liquid laughter behind them.
"Man, I even invited her on this totally super amazingly awesome vacation, and this is the thanks I get."
Corwin just laughed again and went after Ivy.
Eventually, I decided that I'd had enough fun for one day and was going to bed. I made my way around the party and said my good nights. Friday stiffened at my approach, but since she was one of the few people that I could actually talk to, I didn't see much choice. Plus, even I'm not dumb enough about protocol to leave without saying something to the queen.
"Your majesty, Friday," I said with a nod of my head to each of them. "I wanted to apologize to the both of you for my behavior earlier today. Friday, I should have been far more insistent that you not come along, even if you were correct in the end about the possibility of my need for a translator. I also shouldn't have yelled at you when you were clearly in shock. I hope that you will forgive me someday."
"I… it's very kind of you to say that. I should have listened to your advice not to come, and if you were harsh with your words, they were nevertheless correct. We summoned you to commit violence on our behalf. It's wrong to then blame you for doing it effectively. I am worried about what I will see in my dreams, though."
"Well, it's a valid concern. I have an unfortunate amount of experience with bad dreams myself. If you feel like it would be helpful, feel free to come talk to me about it. I suspect that either Corwin or Ivy would be happy to talk as well."
"That's a very generous offer. I'll keep it in mind."
I turned to Sisme, and bowed far deeper than before, then returned. "Your majesty, my words earlier were unacceptable. I should not have mentioned your brother in such a way. I have no intention of ever doing you harm. But if I am to prosecute this war for you, you must accept that there are things we will have to do my way, including, unfortunately, not executing those who surrender."
After Friday had translated and Sisme had responded, she relayed the queen's words to me. "I forgive your indiscretions. As Friday said, you were summoned for your capabilities, and warriors have long been known to speak rashly when their blood is up. Let it be forgotten between us. In turn, I pledge to heed your advice more readily. Your people seem to know far more than mine on the subject, after all."
"Thank you, your majesty. Goodnight, Friday. Goodnight, Sisme."
Bowing to the queen once again, I turned and left for my room. I heard the two of them start talking as I walked away, and felt the queen's eyes on me until I had made it to the hallway. I hoped that wasn't a sign of trouble brewing.
Contribute to the war effort!
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My parents loved the show: Queen's Gambit. My dad was always into chess, but now my mom is slowly joining the bandwagon. I wanted to get them a chess set for Christmas, however, it seems like I cannot find a good one. I am willing to pay $200 for a nice one. I also will want them to have a "full" size-ish board as well. I know they're usually more expensive, but I thought I will ask Reddit if they have any other tips. I've checked Walmart, Regency, Strategy Games, and Bed Bath and Beyond. If anyone has any suggestions, thank you!

Title: I am 25 and make $70,000 as an Engineer in Missouri.
Section 1: Assets and Debt Retirement balance: ~15k (10k from my current employer 401k I put in 10%, they match 4%, I was eligible to start contributing to this 1 year ago), $2.5K from my previous employer (5 month 401k eligibility), and $2.5k Roth.
Equity: I bought a house this March, put down 5% (house was $230k) I'm just gonna say $11.5k in equity since that's how much I put down on the appraised price
Savings account balance: $3.5k in my HYSA (I know... this is so low it's sad. I took money out of this for my down payment and slowly building back up)
Checking account balance: ~$500 in my personal account. G & I have a shared checking account which we pre-fund each month with $1,500 each, so typically have $3k in that account.
Credit card debt: $0 pay off every month
Student loan debt: I graduated almost 2 years ago with a little over $50k in debt and currently have $38k still, $14k of which is a grad loan at 6.6% (originally started at $21k) the remaining $14k is from undergrad and have interest rates between 3-4.5%. Have been mainly focusing on trying to pay the grad loan off. My monthly payments decreased while I was buying my house but starting to get them back up again.
Peloton debt: $1,660 (0% interest, I have a $45/month payment)
Section 2: Income
Income Progression: (I have had soooo many jobs so I tried to cut some out to make the list shorter...sorry!) -I got my first job at 16 at Papa Murphy's Pizza making minimum wage probably around $7.25/hour -2nd job was working at my college library at the circulation desk, also minimum wage -3rd job was a summer camp where I made $10/hour -4th, 6th, and 7th jobs were babysitting in a HCOL area where I made $15, $17, and then $20/hour -10th, 11th, & 12th jobs were interning for engineering companies making $13, $17 and $17/hour -13th job was my first real job out of college where I made $62k with 23% of salary matched for company stock
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $3,626 after 401k, HSA, etc. deductions(I get paid weekly and have $375 automatically go to the shared account and the rest ~$520 go into my personal account)
Any other monthly take home: I get $50/month phone reimbursement for my job I also have a company car and company gas card so that is why I have no car expenses or gas expenses
Section 3: Expenses Monthly Expenses: Mortgage: $1,425/month (split with G) 401k: $535 HSA: $74 Internet: $50/month (split with G) Utilities: ~$250/month (water, sewer, trash, gas, electricity) (split with G) Student Loans: $700 -$900 (when not deferred, minimum is $505) HYSA: $360 Gym: $85 (peloton bike + monthly membership) Spotify: $10 Apple Storage: $1
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
No, was a first-gen college student. I actually never really had plans to go to a 4-year college but my friend convinced me to apply. I applied on the very last day of the extended deadline and somehow got in! When I got my acceptance letter the first thing out of my mom's mouth was "how are you gonna pay for that?". So needless to say my schooling was paid through scholarships and loans. There was not really any talk about going to college when I was in high school but once I started college my parents were very supportive!
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My mom was big on allowance and letting me manage my own money. From when I was 5 years old I started getting $4 in allowance every week where I'd have to put $1 in savings, $1 in investment, $1 in charity, and $1 for spending. Conversations about this definitely helped me understand the importance of budgeting/saving growing up.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Papa Murphy's at 16, I needed money for gas and just spending money to do things with friends.
Did you worry about money growing up?
Not necessarily, my parents kept their finances pretty much to themselves and we always had dinner on the table. We never really went on vacations or got extravagant things though. My mom always gave me a weekly allowance until I got a job (in high school it got up to $20/week) so I didn't think we were ever struggling, then I realized she wasn't paying our mortgage... I think this only time I was truly worried because our house got foreclosed.
Do you worry about money now?
All day, everyday. It's one of my main stressors. I have about 5 different budgets I update/check everyday. I set monthly/yearly goals for my savings/paying off debts. I'm very grateful for my salary and the semi LCOL I'm in right now but I'm not sure if there will ever be a time I'm not stressed about money.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
When I was around 20, my second year of college. I haven't lived at home since this and have paid for all my own expenses since this time as well. My brother and sister in law would definitely let me come live with them if I ever needed help. In terms of borrowing money, no one in my family really has much extra dispensable cash.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My allowance which I received from 5-16.
DAY 1: 5:15am - After snoozing my alarm since 4 am (I know, I'm the worst) finally get out of bed to workout. I do a 45 minute ride on my Peloton, 10 minutes of yoga, and 5 minutes of meditation. Protein shake, shower and throw on pjs but also make up (eyeliner & mascara) to get half ready since I'm WFH for half of the day. I literally have 0 face routine Aveeno face wash, Cerave moisturizer and call it good! My partner G & our dog are still curled up in bed so cozy and so cute.
7:30am - Do a ridiculous amount of dishes (I am such a morning person, so I rarely do my dinner dishes at night, usually just the next morning), make some oatmeal w/ pb & strawberries, drink coffee, and get on my laptop. My boss calls me to tell me we have Veteran's Day off but since I'm already working, I opt to work today and take Friday off instead.
10:15am - Put on real clothes, throw my hair up and leave to go get my depo shot at Planned Parenthood and wait about an hour until I get called back. I've been on depo for a couple years so everything goes pretty quick and I'm out of the doctor's office within 5 minutes.
12pm - Listen to MFM on my drive to work, arrive and immediately heat up my lunch - this week I meal prepped cauli/reg rice mix, veggies and sausage. Soooo hungry since I didn't eat my normal mid morning snack lol. I steal some chocolate from the candy jar on our admins desk bc literally cannot go a day without it! Since it's technically a holiday the office is pretty dead only 3 of the usual 8 of us are here.
3pm - Work is draggingggg. Take a break to browse Her Money and snack on a Lara Bar.
3:45pm - Head out to a job site for a meeting and turn on This is Actually Happening podcast. Stop by Starbucks since I know it’ll be a long night and use my preloaded money to get a soy latte. Also, stop to fill up gas ($0 - company gas card).
8pm - Finally home! Eat leftover fajitas in bowl form for dinner, cuddle G & dog on couch while G finishes up some work on his laptop (late night for both of us!) and doggie sleeps on our lap.
9pm - Bed bc I am a grandma.
11:57pm - Alarm goes off I try to order the ps5 at midnight but apparently no stores are opening sales yet? Why do they make this so difficult and confusing. Supposed to be G’s bday and Xmas gift... but we’ll see.
Total - $0
DAY 2: 4:20am - Annoyed that I somehow snoozed my 4:05am alarm so quickly hop out of bed, change into workout clothes, brush my teeth, take an allergy pill, and head down to the basement to get a 20 minute strength workout and a 45 minute spin in.
6am - Protein shake then hop in the shower. It's a wash day for my curls. I co-wash with Innersense cream conditioner then style with Innersense cream and Ouidad gel and then spend a good 20 minutes diffusing my hair. I get SO SWEATY when I diffuse my hair ugh I even open the bathroom window since its 30 deg outside but still so hot. After my hair is halfway dry I make coffee, pack breakfast/lunch/snacks, and do the dishes. Say bye to G & dog who are still cuddled in bed... ugh my heart they are precious. G is still working from home so he has the luxury of sleeping in.
7:45am - I get to work and realize that I could've came in later since I had a late meeting last night. Oh well guess I was just on auto pilot mode and didn't even think of sleeping in.
8:45am - Heat up my breakfast...same as yesterday.
11am - After failing yet again trying to order the ps5, I take a break and eat lunch, same as yesterday! Walmart is opening up orders a 12, 3, 6 and 9 so I have 3 more chances today... ha!
2pm - Snack on a Lara Bar and since I get paid today I make a payment towards my student loans. Working in the construction industry and getting paid weekly has been amazing in terms of helping me budget, I will be so sad when I move jobs and get a "normal" bi-weekly check.
5pm - Try my luck at buying the ps5 once more before I head home from work. Listen to MFM on my drive and come home to doggy butt wiggles and homemade bolognese. S/o to G for doing 90% of the cooking bc I HATE cooking. G watches some football and I read “The Sun Down Motel” and eat a fudgy brownie cookie for dinner (recipe courtesy of Broma Bakery).
Total - $0
DAY 3: 6:45am - Sleep in a little since I have the day off! Hop on the bike for a 60 minute and 30 minute ride.
8:30am - Quick body shower, make a smoothie, and hop on a conference call with a client. I knew Wednesday that when I decided to take today off instead I'd have this meeting but it's a Zoom call so I don't mind taking it on my day off... it's only an hour.
11am - Okay call and debrief took a lot longer than anticipated...kinda annoyed but oh well. After the call I move some money to my HYSA and then buy a ring I've been eyeing on Etsy ($27). It's a thin silver ring with my brother's initials on it, he passed away when I was 8 so I love the idea of just having a little piece of him always with me. It'll arrive right around his birthday too, Dec. 5th, which is exciting! G & I make breakfast tacos then I go into the garage to start cutting and sanding wood for a storage shelf I'm making. $27
1:30pm - I have a telehealth appointment with a new therapist. ($35 from HSA) I am so nervous I have been struggling with finding a new therapist for 2+ years but my anxiety/depression is getting worse so I knew it was finally time. After a 45 minute call, a couple good crys, I feel so happy I've made this appointment. It is so refreshing to talk to someone outside of my friends/family about things and I have a good feeling that this will work out.
2:30pm - Eat some Swedish fish and the last of my meal prep!
4pm - Hop back on the bike for a Beyoncé ride.... soooo good but so hard. I love the peloton community, they are amazing. I take a quick shower after and head to Home Depot to grab some wood stain and a poinsettia. $10
6pm - Feeling lazy and not up for leftovers so I boil some frozen wontons for dinner. Watch Great British Baking Show while eating. Finish my meal with another brownie cookie.
8pm - We start The Queens Gambit and stay up waaaay to late watching it. Like over 5 hours. I’m one of those people that rarely gets into a tv show and when I do typically binge it🤷🏽‍♀️. I think we fall asleep sometime around 1am.
Total: $37
DAY 4: 7am - Up & try to go back to sleep but I’m hungry! Get up and eat a Lara Bar while making oat flour banana bread w/ chocolate chips (recipe courtesy of Baker Mama). Decide to sweep and mop the floors while the boys are asleep. I love this chore becauseI love the smell of fabuloso... anyone else?! Lol
9:30am - Make some coffee and contact a local ceramicist to buy one of his mugs as a Christmas gift for my best friend ($30). Trying to buy mostly from small businesses this Christmas so I know I need to start early! $30
12pm - I nap for an hour or so then get up and run some errands. I stop by Michaels for some Christmas decor ($25), Target for hooks, lemons, Lawrys Seasoning, cleaning supplies, deodorant, vitamins, and plastic bin to store our fall decor ($70), and Aldi for bread, eggs, strawberries, apples, chocolate, lettuce and I find some house slippers for G in the AOS aisle ($35). Typically we get meat and staples from Costco at the beginning of the month then every week I spend $30-$40 at Aldi for produce. I get home, put things away, and start working on staining the wood pieces for my shelf. While I was out G went to Menards to get stuff to fix our basement toilet because the wax seal had failed. ($65). $195
6pm - I take a bath and when I get out G and I start preparing the ingredients for fried chicken sandwiches. G's on chicken duty while I prep some sweet potatoe fries and all the fixins. Soooo good! We eat on the couch while watching more of the Queens Gambit.
11pm - Bed time!
Total - $225
DAY 5: 9am - Sleeping in today! Wake up and immediately hungry, grab a Lara Bar. G and I get up and start cleaning up the kitchen from last night.
10:15am - Get on the bike and do two 30 minute classes. The first one is a club bangers ride and the second one is the Sunday with Ally Love class so basically complete opposite vibes but love them both! While I'm on the bike G and our neighboelectrician look into some lighting issues we're having in the basement.
11:30am - Shower and deep condition my hair. I try to deep condition every Sunday and usually just leave it in all day. I just put my hair in a bun and throw a headband on. I head to the pop up shop to pick the mug up I paid for yesterday but when I get there the guy says he accidentally broke it :/ he gives me a free bowl and says he'll remake it and have it ready within the next month so no biggie! Stop by JoAnns on my way home for more Christmas decor ($70). When I get home I finish putting up the Christmas decorations and do some chores. $70
4pm - I start finally assembling the shelf with G's help! Have to run to Home Depot a couple of times to get the right size screws and nails, luckily it's just around the corner. On one of the three runs (lol) G grabs 3 light fixtures bases for our basement because he found out earlier the existing lights were not installed right and need to be replaced ($50). Perks of having an old house. We finish the shelf and I'm so happy with how it turned out! It's going to be my cycling storage space. I had previously seen some on Etsy but they were $150-200 so I just decided to do it myself and it ended up costing me less than $40! $50
7pm - Two of our friends come over with Chinese take out. We eat while chatting and watching Sunday night football. I'm happy we get to spend some time with friends this weekend even if it's just a couple hours. I think we get caught up in the "go, go go" and completing weekend lists that it's good to just hang out and relax a bit. We split the cost of the food. $32
10pm - After our friends leave I clean up a bit, make an oatmeal bake for this week's breakfast and G cooks me some chicken (bc I hate touching raw meat) for this week's lunches. I fall asleep on him while he watches football highlights. We get charged for the month's internet. $50
Total - $202
DAY 6: 4:10am - Back to the normal routine! Bike, shower, put away the dishwasher, pack food for work, and I'm out the door!
12pm - Lunch today is a salad with chicken, black beans, corn, bell pepper, and salsa.I noticed G placed an Amazon order for Brita filters. $17
1:30pm - Eat a slice of choco chip banana bread. I buy a Christmas themed runner online ($26). Also, browse on Etsy and decide to purchase a poster for G's bday for his "man cave" he's creating in our basement($27). $53
4pm - Join a zoom meeting for an organization I'm the historian/communications person for. It lasts about an hour and then I head home. On my way I stop by someone's house to do a porch pick up of a free vegan cookbook they posted on Facebook. I'm not vegan but I can't have dairy so sometimes it's just easier to follow vegan recipes.
5pm - Get home and lay on the couch snuggled with my dog and read my book. After about an hour, I fall asleep.
8pm - Accidentally took a two hour nap... whoops. While I was asleep G cooked green curry, so we eat that while watching Monday night football. I am still tired so shortly after eating we head to bed.
9:30pm - Despite my two hour nap I still easily fall asleep before 10....I told ya'll I am a GRANDMA!
Total - $70
DAY 7: 4am - Up and at it on the bike! Truly one of the best parts of my day. I love being up before anyone else and having "me" time before starting my day.
6am - G for some reason got up early and did the dishes... appreciate him doing this! Shower, pack food, and head out for work.
12pm - Lunch same as yesterday, read a book at my desk while eating.
4pm - Head home early for my therapy appointment. After G and I eat leftover green curry for dinner. My mom calls us after dinner and we spend an hour looking at houses over the phone. She currently lives on the west coast and is looking to move out here because the COL is so much cheaper! G shows me the progress on teaching our dog to roll over and he does it! We are proud doggie parents lol
8pm - We watch Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations for a couple hours and then head to bed!
Total - $0
Spending Total Food+Drink: $67 Fun/Entertainment: $50 Home+Health: $333 Clothes+Beauty: $27 Transport: $0 Other: $57
Grand Total - $534
Reflection: Other than the $100+ spent on Christmas decorations (no regrets lol) this is a pretty typical week for us! Since we just moved into our house we are always working on some type of project so Lowes/Menards/Home Depot runs are regular for us. Since we've been spending more on house things we've really tried to cut back on eating out to 4-6 times per month, which has gotten a lot easier over time. We both love food so much and trying out new restaurants but quarantine has definitely helped with this cutback!

Captain Ob Vius, Opie, and Ogden piss off! Don’t ruin my surprises. Down to business. My experience with dungeons has been fun, but it’s always so similar. The ruin/crypt with undead or the like. I’ve been wanting to experiment with more unique dungeon mechanics and settings! Such as:

1. A space with dozens of small planets where if you change your perception of what up and down is you can control how you move between them. Objective is in the center of the room. Walls all lined with spikes. Different enemies on different planets.
   
2. Room filled with paintings and an empty coffin. The inscription reads “return me to my rest, to pass this little test”. The paintings are sub dimensions that contain the bones, each with a different challenge.
   
3. A cavern filled with intertidal pools linked by special magic. Swimming to the bottom brings you out the top of another. The pools are full of materials and enemies. The pools are in clusters on little plateaus, with terribly powerful wind coming up from the seemingly bottomless pit from which they rise.
   
4. Standard labyrinth full of scary beasties. But all the walls are mirrors. Mirror labyrinth definitely worse than the original.
   
5. Small floating island with heavy gravity. Upon entering the dungeon players are falling in orbit around the island. Many flying and floating creatures/objects.
   
6. Trap heavy crypt. Full of undead.... fey?! Zombie fairies haunt my nightmares.
   
7. Poison swamp. An obelisk in the center specifies tasks and their point values and rewards.
   
8. A seemingly endless sea, with ruins to explore below. Actually a prison for an ancient monster, that some asshat pirate decided was a good place to hide treasure.
   
9. A tower, with special magic. Each of the 5 floors is large, with its own boss and loot. This dungeon is special, and has a return (save progress) runestone.
   
10. A hive of various monstrous bugs that infested an ancient castle, find and kill the queen to find the key to the door that has the treasure.
    
11. The illusion dungeon. Walls, flooground, doors, living things, even traps. What’s real and what’s not? Be wary.
    
12. An undead battlefield still at war. Neither side sees you as a friend. Though maybe reinforcements, with an adjustment or two... like death.
    
13. A small calm lake, covered in giant lily pads. There is a small island in the center, but the water itself is full of swarms of carnivorous fish. Who knows what’s on the pads, but it’s definitely safer than swimming.
    
14. A space of ground surrounded by ocean, but it seems to be on the ocean floor. The water is held back in a circular force field around this area, and sea life can be seen swimming all around. Not all of it looks friendly.
    
15. Just a giant room with a statue of unidentifiable material. Attacking the statue causes it to change colors in levels from the bottom. It vanishes every six seconds (one combat round). A certain amount of damage in one round needed to clear the dungeon.
    
16. A small island temple. Inside is A seemingly vast and endless desert. Where even is the dungeon?
    
17. The stormlords cloud keep. A keep in a dark cumulonimbus that likes to randomly strike lightning. Who the hell keeps thunder wolves as pets?
    
18. A palace in the depths of space , surrounded by stars. Dark things lurk in that void, and aberrations abound here.
    
19. An island floating in the void of space surrounded with stars, a dim purple sun, and a bright light purple moon. A hunting ground for celestial beasts, and everything is on the menu.
    
20. A mansion with little memory orbs that have stored past events. The inscription seems to be asking you to solve his own murder in exchange for his inheritance. Better find a Clue!
    
21. Abandoned lab of an ancient scientist that was studying the elemental planes. Welcome to elemental gang wars.
    
22. A wealthy modern scientist has disappeared, but his secret lab should hold his fortune and research. What was he studying? Slimes. Countless slimes.
    
23. A temple built into the underside of a floating isle, long forgotten. Many avian creatures roost here now. There’s a glider here, with a snack compartment.
    
24. Inside a fire Djinn’s lamp lies a palace of flame. I wish I didn’t have to go in there... ha
    
25. This is the fabled Golem Kings enchanted mountain. He may be long dead but his dad lonely golems still protect this place.
    
26. The northern beast tribes had a bad habit of trying to tame monsters much stronger than them. Maybe that’s why all the ice in these frozen caverns is dyed red?
    
27. The legendary Stormlords cloud keep in a giant cumulonimbus cloud that’s always storming. Bad place to wear metal. Who keeps lightning wolves as pets?
    
28. Under the popular temple of the joy in Cheerytown , the corrupted clergy worships something dark and mad in the catacombs. They’re still joyous, while practicing unspeakable acts. Good thing you’re already crazy for treasure right?
    
29. Deep in a swamp kids have been disappearing into a mostly submerged temple. The hidden temple of legends is owned by a giant talking stone head, who seems to be acting as a game show host. All the teams are here now, who will win?
    
30. The lost temple of the Monk-ey King. Just... monkeys. Monkeys who fight well. Better find your Zen. Oh and I hope you like climbing.
    
31. The ancients left behind a great pyramid with a massive hourglass in the center. Every 30 seconds the last turn resets, as if it never happened. Every hour inside is a week outside. Did that monster teleport? No it returned to its past... position.
    
32. A great clock tower in ancient dwarf ruins. Fighting on moving gears sucks, why are the clockwork soldiers still here?! But you’ll need to get more of them moving to progress. Let’s just hope there’s not a clockwork dragon in the treasure vault
    
33. The ruins of the ancient witch race, destroyed by the gods for defying heaven and earth alike with their powerful sorcery, is built on top of the enormous leaves and branches of the largest tree in the world. Their bitterness has left countless curses behind, but rumor has it they left their treasures and knowledge at the top of the tree...
    
34. There’s a small island in the stomach of the fleet devouring shark. There are many shipwrecks around, eternally digesting in the acidic sea around it. The island is inhabited by a semi-intelligent race of creatures that live symbiotically within the sharks stomach. Are you friend or food?
    
35. A shipwreck of the largest boat you’ve ever seen. It must be a mile long, what the heck could even sink something like this?! There’s no way there’s not treasure in this bad boy. And... lobster people?
    
36. The ancient mystic wizard Balthazar had a special talent. He could imbue things with souls. But who in their right mind would imbue every piece of furniture in their castle with a soul? I guess the rug got tired of being walked all over.
    
37. Balthazar is at it again. He’s made a Demi plane of sweets, inhabited by sentient fruit people. Unfortunately the chocolate volcano is about to explode, causing the hot fudge death of everything on the plane. The tribes task you with stopping this, in return they’ll take you to their lords secret treasure.
    
38. Damn it Balthazar! How many places did you create?! Balthazar’s lost library isnt as dangerous as other places he made. Most of the books here are just dying to tell you their story. But how to get into the restricted section? And you should watch out for the librarian, if you don’t want to die.
    
39. Sigh... Balthazar please stop. In Balthazar’s lost game room, you can play deadly games for prizes. Though the sentient giant chess set doesn’t seem to want you there...
    
40. Whatever Balthazar. In Balthazar’s lost Garden, the immaculately shaped trees and shrubbery respond exceptionally well to flattery. Especially the triceratops bush. As long as you’re here to enjoy the garden, and not to take anything, you’ll not be harmed in this maze like garden.
    
41. A large, multi-roomed crystal with crystalized biomes (such as a crystal forest). Inside there are trapped spirits and golemns that wander the halls (You're gonna want to prepare the spell shatter here, folks!).
    
42. There's a giant beehive. The giant bees are hostile, but their honey has healing properties.
    
43. The shrine in the tallest mountain on the spine of the world exists in both the prime material plane and the plane of air. While you're in the prime material plane part, strong winds buffet your party. In the plane of air, this is the lowest part of the plane, and you must dodge the falling debris from above.
    
44. There's an old man in a shrine who only wakens once every hundred years. Stories say that he knows the spell that will stop the storm that threatens the capital. Your party must use a special kind of incense, fall into a trance, and defeat his nightmares to wake him and ask him to assist you. But boy are his dreams weird .
    
45. There's a large city in a glass dome at the bottom of the sea. It was abandoned, but intact. When your players go there, the glass has cracked and starts to fill from the bottom. They'll need to race the rising water to get to the teleportation rune at the top...
    
46. The tallest giants in this world are long extinct. However, your party has come across the body of one, 80 feet tall, mostly buried underneath the earth. The top half of its body has already rotted to the core, but once you get down about halfway, there's some flesh still left inside. Cultists are inside, trying to recover the sword that felled him....
    
47. A giant beholder tower that spans multiple demi-planes. Filled with traps, including the mindless thralls (the adventurers who failed before you.) Better protect your mind here.
    
48. You've been trapped inside a painting by an enchanter. You'll need to figure out how to escape, even as he paints more monsters for you to fight.
    
49. You're in a large cavern with giant stalactites. You'll need to fight your way from stalactite to stalactite, using flying or grappling hooks/ziplines to get from one to the next. A giant creature, a thousand feet tall, inhabits the cavern. You'll need to avoid drawing its attention while you seek to recover one of its giant hairs.
    
50. A descending dungeon of gladiator pits, filled to the brim with demons and other monstrosities, led by the ringmaster on the lowest floor.
    
51. A SAW-like dungeon with a mad killer pursuing the party, just one step behind them as they try to make their way through the trapped halls.
    
52. A dungeon made by an abjurist archmage that bans certain schools of magic within each room.
    
53. A dungeon made by a mad eldritch sorcerer -- in each room your party is true polymorphed into different monsters, and you need to defeat the adventuring party in each room (including copies of your own!) in order to proceed.
    
54. A dungeon that is one big chase like a crash bandicoot level, with a large monster (tarrasque, t-rex, something of that sort) chasing them. They'll need to evade barriers, use environmental traps, and jump on a cart ride in order to escape.
    
55. A dungeon that is a series of reality TV-show esque challenges against another adventuring party, or a group of mindflayers. (Shows include: The Price is Right, Cutthroat Kitchen, American Idol, etc.)
    
56. A dungeon where you face off against unknown mercenaries wielding strange weaponry from another dimension. They have long tubes that spit fire and portable bombs of light and rocks. (Our dimension!)
    
57. A dungeon that's a revolving carousel filled with automatons who act out history's famous battles from Faerun.
    
58. A dungeon that takes in a single room, like the X-Men Danger Room. Every two rounds during the fight, the room shifts, stone blocks rising and falling from the ground to create different cover configurations and height (and sometimes adding elemental effects.)
    
59. A dungeon where the party loses different senses: one loses their sight, another their hearing, another their ability to speak.
    
60. A dungeon with floating coins, tunnels , many platforms. You have to get to the end without falling into any pits! If you don’t collect enough coins, you’ll warp back to the start to try again. There are weird potions that come out sometimes if you hit the bottom of platforms, that make you bigger, smaller, lighter, heavier etc.
    
61. Every monster in this dungeon has a red glow. Every time one is killed, the glow around the others intensifies. The more you kill the stronger they get.
    
62. The temple of transformation has a large forest inside. Nothing is what it seems. All the creatures can transform in some way, so that rabbit may not be as harmless as it seems.
    
63. The Metal Mountain is a treasure trove for those that can survive. This mountain within a mountain is linked to the sub elemental plane of metal. Even the weakest of monsters have a big payoff if you can kill it, like the steel wool sheep. Just be wary of anything that eats metal themed creatures. Like the frost steel saber tooth .
    
64. It’s said that a yeti collects the shinies of all the adventurers it kills in its lair of tunnels through a great iceberg on the subplane of ice.
    
65. The Herb Garden of the Gods contains many extraordinary and magical plants. Oh I recognize that one as a natural strength enhancer! Wait... why does that squirrel have such massive biceps?!
    
66. Something important was hidden in the Forest of Life and Death. Here is between the light and dark, and this twilight forest is known for dangerous bloodsuckers and soul leechers, as well as life givers and holy blessers. The deer god, a Titan of life and death makes this place his home.
    
67. The Black Barons Last Bastion ofBlood Magic. A black stone keep in a small lake of blood, filled with powerful undead water beasts. The keep itself is home to the last of a race of blood sacrifice mages, who absorb blood to gain power. No not a vampire, he doesn’t need to drink it to live, he’s just power hungry .
    
68. This man made cavern has a forest and an ancient city inside it. There are many tiles and traps that shrink or enlarge thing to an extreme degree. There’s a doggo sized T-Rex and a Woodpecker the size of a dragon. Best avoid touching anything unnecessarily
    
69. An infernal brothel. You’re there to rescue your idiot bard, and maybe rob the large safe of victims gold in the basement.
    
70. Somewhere in a cave deep within the earth lies an extreme concentration of mana. Moving through the mana rich air here feels like moving through water, and the mana saturated water feels like crawling through mud. The monsters here have adapted to this, you have not. (Animals with natural force fields, mana beam attacks, etc.)
    
71. The plains of eternal starlight can be found in many of the ancient oracles temples. Divination is more powerful here, Reading the stars. Many of the creatures that live here seem to know what you’re going to do before you do... but you need something here.
    
72. Deep and a canyon of blue stone, lies a small castle. One of the most talented summoners ever to live made this his home centuries ago. Most of the summoning traps leading up to the castle have been destroyed already, but no one has ever passed the gate.
    
73. The hall of statues is itself a 600 foot tall statue of incomparable craftsmanship. Inside is full of beautifully wrought statues of many materials. Though it feels like you’re being watched....
    
74. The Pit. A seemingly endless pit in the ground full of dangerous creatures and hidden rooms. There’s an adventurers town built around it. No one has reached the bottom, but there are certainly many bodies to loot down there with whatever was there originally. And eternal glory.
    
75. The endless cliffs are riddled with little caves, many of which contain the inheritance of an unknown entity. What is known, they’re well guarded. No one has made it past the demon wolf in the third cave up...
    
76. For those that know how to reach it, there is a train just above the atmosphere: The Death Train. It circles the globe constantly, and there are many treasures inside to compete for. Unfortunately there will never be more than 100 tickets. You’ll have to get one from its current owner.
    
77. In the eye of the Everstorm that rages up and down the impassable ocean lies a great sphere. Inside is a deserted city, seemingly untouched for millennia. Why does this technology look so much more advanced than anything you’ve ever seen?
    
78. Inside a strange box in a ruin, you’re transported to the challengers jungle. Oddly, nothing that’s killed here dies, it just dissipates and reappears somewhere else in the realm. But how do you get out of here?
    
79. The Sound of Silence. This dungeon is filled with different bells with different effects. Blind monster hunt by sound.
    
80. A dungeon full of mushrooms of varying sizes, with really bouncy tops. Mushroom monsters
    
81. The tops of great pillars rise from the clouds, leading away from the mountain temple. It’s said if you can make it through this treacherous path, and defeat the pillar guardians, gifts from the gods await.
    
82. A towering, enormous, impossibly complex and anachronistically industrial dome-like building with a sentient and telepathic orb at the centre. It sees everything inside and telepathically mocks the party as they weave their way towards it.
    
83. Deep in a fey-infested forest is a small bed of totally unique cobalt and ebony flowers that eternally bloom. If you smell them you pass out and are trapped in a lucid dream world. No one can wake you until you surpass three great challenges -- one unique to the PC and their nightmares, and two common to all the PC's stuck within.
    
84. Ancient Mystic Temple of the heavenly way. This ziggurat of semitransparent green and blue stone lies hidden in the auroras of the bottom of the world. The beings here seem... astral.
    
85. In the actual dungeon of the infernal princes castle. Better watch out, demons and their beasts lurk about every corner. Probably just best to ignore those screams.
    
86. The drifting island, that’s forgotten as soon as it’s left. Much like the monsters and landmarks. Why are we here again?
    
87. Legend has it this lake of blood can from the most ancient of dragons. His hoard is also supposed to be somewhere in the lake. Whether it’s true or not, one thing is certain. All the creatures here have become draconian
    
88. This stone circle of monoliths left by the Origin Race has always been a mystery. So why did it’s center just open up to a great tunnel? This energy feels... otherworldly. Should definitely warp the party to a palace on the moon.
    
89. Did you know, there is a flower that grows in the center of the Glowing Forest of Hunger in the underdark that’s worth a fortune? The forest is beautiful too. And hungry. Glowy carnivorous plants. That is all.
    
90. On the vast purple tundra sits a lone dwelling made of great animal bones and hide. Inside is a pocket dimension that’s home to a ferocious pack of shapeshifters, inhabiting this massive complex of bone and hide. Why do werewolves keep even more wolves?Though there’s probably no silver In their treasure hall.
    
91. The Little People that preceded all of the modern petite races were unmatched in craftsman ship and their knowledge of the universe. This recently discovered astronomy tower is breathtaking, from the magnificent solarium full of secrets to the star chart hall that seems to be moving. It seems unguarded, but maybe that’s due to all the traps and puzzles?
    
92. The spirits at the Dojo of the Moonlight Blade still linger, protecting their armory from the unworthy. The rules are simple, 1v1 from the weakest to the strongest. Hey I’ve never hit a ghost with glasses before...
    
93. The Crow Kings Roost in the Weird Tree of the Dark Forest is said to hold long forgotten magic. Fear permeates the air as readily as darkness. Be careful not to lose yourself along the way. Pumpkins and skeletons litter this forest.
    
94. The Mad Bards Myriad of Ballrooms. The Mad Bard of Myth was unmatched in his composing, with music that could ensnare the very soul, and bewitch the mind. He amassed a fortune playing for the most wealthy of patrons. Welcome to the Masquerade!
    
95. The Cats in the Hat. In a large top hat shaped building, some crazy collector has gathered many of the worlds cat and cat like beasts into this dwelling, though reality seems warped in here. They also supposedly collected cat themed treasure, like El Gato: an ancient idol of pure gold shaped like a cat. It’s rumored to summon a powerful Fey creature.
    
96. In a pocket dimension well hidden near the city, lies the home of Nicolas Flamel. The ancient master of alchemy left the secrets of immortality and the recipe for the philosophers stone in this place before he went willingly into deaths embrace. This towering haphazardly balanced cottage is protected by the secrets of alchemy. Many things here heal themselves or duplicate when killed.
    
97. The Collectors Zoo. The Collector was a rather obsessive man who like rare and powerful things. The inside of this great tree is like a museum of replicas of items he has, while on each branch of this magnificent tree hangs large spheres much like Christmas ornaments. Upon closer inspection, entire environments can be seen inside with breathtaking creatures roaming in their seemingly natural habitat. You’ve got a hunch the real items from the museum are protected in these animal enclosures.
    
98. There is an abandoned Mages College on the Monstrous Moors. A botched summoning spell managed to teleport hundreds of powerful monstrosities into the school. No one has tried to reclaim it in many years.
    
99. The rainbow way, a beautiful and deadly path between the planes of air and water. How vibrant everything here is, and there’s supposedly a massive pot of gold at the end. Some green and red fey like creature plagues your journey.
    
100. A massive shopping complex. Doing tasks here earns you points, which can be exchanged for items at the one and only Walters Magic Emporium. There are entrances to here from all across the world. (Walmart dungeon folks, you’ll see scary shit)
     

Thanks so much folks! It’s finished!
Special thanks to u/XhangoGames, u/JediCapitalist, and u/Dm_intraining

Here are some of the best lines from the show. I'm sure I forgot a lot of them but I can't think of them I know they're out there though. I also put 2-3 good moments on the show
​
-You now women married? Why no tell me this before. No touching with me. Me not accept this (ZIED THEN STORMS OFF)
-You are so mach sexy so so mach sexy. (ZIED)
-You're gonna be lucky if your dick dont fall off (DINYELL)
-Go back to your broke ass country or else you're gonna pay you hear me (BIG RED BETH TO MAHAMIT ON THE PHONE)
-YOU GO FROM ONE WOMEN TO ANOTHER YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY CALL THAT MAHAMIT THEY CALL IT A GIGOLO AND YOU'RE GONNA BE LUCKY IF YOUR DICK DONT FALL OFF. (DINYELL)
-I HATE MAHAMIT SO MUCH I HATE EEM (DINYELL OUTSIDE TOMS HOUSE)
-Mahamit decided that we're not having secks because he's a muslim (DINYELL)
-You are a whore and you will not talk to me like this tonight. Goodnight. Slut ass bitch ass cunt ass whore (CHANTEL)
-He has told people that I smell and that I peed on 'eem (DINYELL)
-She was like fighting with me over it. She would be like crying and screaming on the floor in front of her teenagers I WANT MY SECKS TONIGHT. IF YOU DONT GIVE ME MY SECKS TONIGHT I CALL THE IMMIGRATION AND GET YOU DEPORTED (MAHAMIT)
-Don't terrarize me with your pregnacy (ANDRRRREI)
-YOU ARE THE WORST MISTAKE I MADE IN MY LIFE (DINYELL)
-YOU ARE A JACKASS HAVE A NICE LIFE BACK IN TUNISIA (DINYELL)
-I need eem here I want eem here he made me a better person (DINYELL)
-Danielle moaning whenever she cries about Mahamit
-Fuck you you lied again to my face (ANGELA AT THE BOAT CRUISE)
-Skyla I can tote it I just need ya egg (ANGELA)
-Lana mmmmmmmmmmm (David's creepy noise) (DAVID)
-Lisa's groan (BGL)
-I got 50 men waiting to marry me in the states right now (BGL)
-YOU NEVER LOVED ME YOU LIAR! YOU LIAR! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! (DARZY)
-She chrew my Louboutins at me. (JESSE)
-That's why Ash dumped you ass point blank Avery (BGL)
-Dinyell she is miserable person she used to having miserable life (MAHAMIT)
-If we talk about physical relation I think Dinyell is acceptable for me (MAHAMIT)
-Weeyams is the love of my life (YOLANDA)
-I love cook my sister I love cook my sister so mach (ZIED)
-I'm attracted to Nickle maybe just 55% (AZAN)
-I'd say Lisa is exactly 70% good in bed which is exactly what I expected (SOJABOY)
-YOU USED ME MAHAMIT YOU USED ME IM GONNA DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO GET YOUR ASS DEPORTER (throws evuhdence binder) (DINYELL)
-Did you put weight on? (TOM)
-You're gonna let this fucking pervert come at me with fucking charges. Ed has molested women he's groomed them and God only knows what the fuck else he did. (BGL AT THE TELL ALL)
-Do you think every man in this world has sex with his wife everyday? (Walmart Tom)
-GIVE ME MY RED BAG WITH MY MAKEUP (ANFISA SCREAMING IN THE CAR THEN THROWS THE KEY)
-YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE GONNA COME BACK TO THE APARTMENT BUT YOU JUST LEFT (ANFISA SCREAMING LIKE A DEMON)
-Khalas khalas!! (Yazan)
-The time were Yolanda's phone said "The Williams"
-Fuck you fuck the Britany fuck everything (Yazan)
-Syngin is a cisgendered white male (Tonya)
-I don't think Synging is my soulmate. My first boyfriend was my soulmate (Tonya)
-Anna please Anna (Mursal and Anna crying histerically when he had to go back to Turkey)
-The mans brain is all boxes and womens brains are interlinked (Ash)
-Why are there recordings of your voice talking to other women? (Nickle)
-The time were Azan said he couldn't make it to Grenada because of a "family emergency"
-Coltee you're a fat fat loser who live at home with his mother (Larissa)
-Oh Coltee I know you are tired look you are fat too (Larissa)
-Go there and talk to the bitch she's a fucking bitch! (Larissa)
-Coltee do you fuck your mother because you act like she's your little lover (Larissa)
-I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS MARRIED. WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO (JINNY DESPERATELY WINNING AND CRYING)
- You think I don't know her by now? You think I don't know her for 8 years? Stop putting your American mentality on to this (David)
-When you have big ass and you go boom boom (Annie)
-I have 5 kids with 4 different women (Robert)
-A few weeks ago you call me "n word" which I know is totally inappropriate in America (SOJABOY)
-I thought my visa wouldn't come and that I wasn't gonna be able to be with Sumeet (Jinny)
-Cut the fucking thing cut it now she's disrespecting him fucking stop it Barb! (BGL ABOUT SHAUN AT THE TELL ALL)
-Ed and Avery are the most fake fucks on the air right now (BGL AT TELL ALL)
-Ed fuck you you're the goat you're the fucking goat! You wanna sit here and talk shit no fuck you! (BGL AT THE TELL ALL)
-You told Rose her fucking breath stinks and to shave her fucking legs. Meanwhile you're coming in here with your fucking greased up hair looking like a fucking bum in the South after that you said she's fucking taking your money. You said Rose scammed you (BGL TO ED AT THE TELL ALL)
-WHO IS AGAINST THE QUEEN WILL DIE! (LARISSA)
-I'M DONE! NOTHING BUT A SELF CENTERED LITTLE BITCH! (MOTHER DEBBIE)
-Is it because you love your mama more than your ex wife (Chantel)
-If you don't like him divorce him period! (Nicole)
-Did you just call me a fucking bitch? (Chantel)
-Yes (Nicole)
-I think maybe Teem is gay (Veronica)
-The time where Veronica storms out and spills water on Teem
-I think I should to be lesbian (Larissa)
-Men always put in their profile about a tacos and hiking (Larissa)
-Kalani job very easy. It's just cleaning and taking care of keeds (Asuelu)
-The father of the bride pays for the wedding Leeb (Andrrrrei)
-When Leeb starting crying in front of her father for him to pay for the wedding
-If Asuelu don't start stepping up either his ass is going to get beaten or I'm sending his ass back to Samoa (Kalani's father)
-Lying bitch (Asuelu)
-I just renewed my lease on the apartment sorry Annie (Robert)
-We have sex like 5 times a week (Annie/David).
-I'VE NEVER HEARD THAT RINGTONE BEFORE (ANGELA)
-IT IS A GENERAL RINGTONE I DON'T SET IT (MYKHUL)
-DON'T TRY TO SWINDLE ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW I LIKE CAKE (ANGELA)
-I'M DONE! DAMN THAT SON OF A BITCH (ANGELA)
-I THINK OF ANGIE AS MY ELDER (MYKHUL)
-I'M NOT YOUR DAMN ELDER! AND BECAUSE I'M YOUR ELDER AND YOU RESPECT WHAT I SAID WE'RE DONE! (ANGELA)
-AND YOU DON'T HIT HIM YOU HIT HIM THATS WRONG AND YOU STOP! (Mykhul and Angela big airport road brawl)
-Oh hell nah we're not going out there there's raw dawgs everywhere (FATHER CHANTEL IN DR)
-The time where Chantel family don't wanna get out of van at Pedro's grandmothers
-CAN YOU NOT BRING THE DRESS OUT BECAUSE SHE IS FAT (MYKHUL TALKING ABOUT ANGELA AT THE DRESS STORE)
-We need mommys blessing to get married (THE CRINGE OF BGL CALLING HER MOMMY)
-You called us stupid American with mental problems (Mother Chantel)
-You want the chicken feet (Pedro)
-The big brawl between Pedro and Chantel family
-Ay ay ay what you say what you say? (PEDRO YELLING AT RIVER AT THAT BRAWL)
-The time were Pedro danced with Coraima and then Nicole shows Chantel the video
-You're ugly (ROSE)
-WHY DID YOU SAY THAT. WHY WOULD YOU SAY SHE'S TRASHY (MYKHUL FIGHTING WITH HIS FRIENDS)
-Lisa is bigger than I expected. She is a very controlling women (SOJABOY)
-YOU AIN'T GONNA WEAR MY DAMN PRESIDENTS HAT BITCH (ANGELA)
- Pedro's mom has a business in the DR where she finds stupid Americans to match with a person on the island in order to harvest the American dollar (MOTHER CHANTEL)
-ARE YOU REALLY LIKE THIS ANGELA ARE YOU REALLY TRASHY (REBECCA)
-YOU DAMN BET I'M TRASHY ALL THE TIME (ANGELA)
-YOU NEED TO KISS MY ASS (ANGELA TO REBECCA)
-I'M THE TRASHIEST CLASSIEST BITCH YOU'LL EVER MEET (ANGELA TO MYKHUL FRIENDS)
-When Angela beat up Avery at the tell all
-Things are about to get a lot stupider (MOTHER CHANTEL)
-When Chantel and Winter found out Jah had another kid
-Hold my rings (Mother Chantel after the brawl with River and Pedro)
-I think that Pedro's mom runs an illegal business where they find stupid americans to harvest they american dollar (MOTHER CHANTEL)
-Almost there lazy (AZAN)
-My whole family anal so clean (JIHOON)
-Mens doesn't control me (JULIANNA)
-You need to cut it on a bias baby so that it stays juicy. Trust me I've worked in restaurants I know this (DARZY TO JESSE THAN HE DROPS THE KNIFE AND STORMS OUT)
-Baby are you Nigerian (YOLANDA)
-The time where Yolanda's commenting and crushing over Weeyums British accent
-May I halik you (BIG PRED)
-MOVE BEETCH (VARYA)
-IM FAILING MYSELF I FEEL LIKE IM FAILING MYSELF RIGHT NOW (GEOFFREY)
-GO FUCK DEBBIE FAT PEEG (LARISSA)
-It's not a poor mans game we admit this it's not a poor mans game (DAVID)
-In voodoo they use a lot of chicken feet (MOTHER CHANTEL)
-BITCH ASS PENGUIN ASS LOOKING BITCH (CHRIS'S SON TO DAVID)
-COME BAAAAAACK NOWWWWWWW! (ANFISA)
-You done told me that a million times MYKHULLLL (ANGELA)
-You gonna give me a black eye Mykhul (ANGELA)
-WHAT BLACK GUY (MYKHUL)
-Raw dawg mmmmmm (BGL)
-I'm not like work oriented I think I'm more stay at home mom and social media influencer (JASMIN)
-The time where Nicole is trying to hug Azan and he keeps pushing her away
-When Nicole was shoving Azan on the bus
-Winter finding out Jah has another kid he hid
-When BigPred and Rose are arguing outside the cafe at 12 am
-I WANT TO GO HOME ON MY OWN (ROSE)
-I DO NOT BELIEVE IN LOVE (BIG PRED CRYING)
-IM A STRONG WOMEN I DON'T NEED ANY MAN (DARZY THEN CRIES ABOUT TOM AFTER)
-We didn't have Sax until September (DINYELL)
-You treated him like a little goat (BIG PRED)
-He makes my skin crawl (BIG RED BETH)
-Why no find house for us two only (ZIED)
-Aladin doesn't give good jiggy-jiggy (LAURA)
-LET'S TIGHTEN UP FACEBOOK A LITTLE BIT (BGL)
-Lana does not have many dating profiles they're people pretending to her they're all fakes! (DAVID)
-I TRAVELLED SEVEN THOUSAND MILES TO MEET THIS MAN (BGL)
-WE JUST GOT MUGGED WITH A MACHETE (BEWILDERED CAMERAMAN FILIMING POL)
-Condoms are for slut people (ASUELU)
-Try to buy a butt (LARISSA)
-It's my tax paying right to get married in America. I'm a single tax paying meemah that dont make much moeny (ANGELA)
-I think you was horney and you was lookin for a bitch to fuck (ANGELA)
-I did the BJ you know for real (MYKHUL)
-It's an amazing adventure (DAVID)
-GET HIM OUT OF HERE HE'S AN IDIOT! (DAVID TO ED)
-I only drink juice I don't drink water (DAVID WHILE CAMERA IS POINTING AT HIS STOCK PILE OF JUICE)
-I have no idea where Gatar is I sell didos for a living (LADY AT SEX SHOP)
-I don't see one some thing about God here (LUIS)
-WHAT I USE FOR YOU PLEASE! (ALADIN)
-YOU DON'T GIVE ME PROPER JIGGY JIGGY ALUHDIN! (LORA)
-YOU SIR ARE FIRED! (DAVID)
-I'VE SPENT 300 000 DOLLARS TALKING TO LANA ON THE DATING SITE (DAVID)
-YOU WANNA BE SCAMMED GO TO FACEBOOK! (DAVID)
-debil owls (LUIS)
-BENJAMIN NEEDS TO PAY THE BRIDE PRICE (AKINYI)
-I can't talk to jesus when I'm drunk (AKINYI)
-I work so mach work (ZIED)
-I hate stay at home no work (ZIED)
-I was with a women before (REBECCA)
-Everything makes you uncomfortable Steph (ERIKUH)
Steph smashing the glass in the motel
-My parents really no accept you after this (ZIED)
-Are you with Matthew just for the sex (LUIS TO OLIVIA)
-HELLO BABY GIRL VISA (SOJABOY)
-All of the times when Dinyell would moan and desperately cry everytime time Mahamit left her
-When Angela fought over and over with Mykhul's friends
-The theory that Pedro's sister is actually the wife
Let me know what I missed lol
Enjoy!

About a month ago, I made a post on this subreddit here about managing your finances as a new exJW. After talking to more people on here, I've realized that my first post inadvertently has 2 critical flaws - 1. It assumes you're over 18, and 2. It assumes you have a job. I know many that are planning to leave are under 18 so I decided to make a quick guide targeted at that audience.
The organization holds us back financially in many ways, the most prevalent of them being a lack of a financial education. The extent of the financial education we receive from the borg is "spend less donate more". Unfortunately that's not going to cut it in the real world.
If you're under 18 and planning your exit, this is the post for you. If you don't have money, exiting will be much harder and you could be more inclined to go back to the Borg. Let's make sure that doesn't happen and get you ready to step out in to the real world! Believe it or not, you can take steps right now to ensure you will be ready as soon after your 18th birthday as possible! Just to show you its possible, I started working at 15, moved out at 17, and fully left the cult at 18. Today I live with my beautiful POMO girlfriend in our own home living life on our own terms. You can do it too!
This isn't a comprehensive guide by any means, but hopefully it will move you in the right direction financially and give you some help when planning how to leave the cult.
But first, legal disclaimer time - don't sue me bro. I'm not a financial advisor. This is not financial advice. Do your own research.
Let's dive in!
1. Open a bank account! (For Minors)
This is the very first step in your journey to financial freedom. You may be currently relying on your parents to manage your money or have a joint account with your parents, but that needs to change now! You need to be the one in control of your money so your parents can't take it away "for your own good". Most large national banks won't open an account for you as a minor without your parents being a co-owner on the account. For now, your best bet is going to a small local or regional bank. If it is in your area, I would recommend using First Convenience Bank. They are typically located inside of Walmarts or other grocery stores, they are only closed 3 days a year, and they will open a bank account for you at 16 without your parents. If they are not in your city, look on google for local banks and give them a call to see how old you have to be to open an account with them.
Depending on your situation, try to keep this account under wraps. Get paperless statements, try going to the bank alone, hide or uninstall the app from your phone, etc. However, if that is not an option then you will need a way to justify this for your parents. "I want to start saving money so that I can pioneego to bethel when I graduate" is a response that will invoke glee in most witness parents, but you know your parents better than anyone. Prepare for that conversation.
The single best thing you can do right now is build up a pile of money in a bank account to support yourself after you leave. Use this bank account to save every penny you can and keep it out of the hands of "caring" witness parents. Your parents aren't trying to hurt you, they have just been taught that controlling you with an iron fist and giving you no breathing room is the best way to parent.
2. Get a job!
To save money, you gotta have an income! At this point in your life, just about any job can help you out since your expenses are likely very low. On top of that, any job you can get will serve as experience on your resume for future jobs. Even a job at McDonald's can help your resume get you your next job. This job which is often looked down upon can still give you plenty of employable skills like money handling and cash drawer experience, sales experience, team work experience, high pressure environment experience, customer service experience, food preparation experience, and much more. Even better, you get paid!
Personally, I had some knowledge about computers from a young age, so I used that to get an IT job with a local company at 15. It wasn't a high paying job, but it paid better than minimum wage. I still do some work for the same company now years later, at a much better pay rate of course. My girlfriend got her first job at Freddies (fast food restaurant) at 17, then after a year used her money handling and customer service experience to get a job at Wells Fargo which pays her almost double! If you have any type of knowledge or experience, try using that to get a job!
Get any job you can! Many witness parents might be hesitant about letting you get a job, I know my mother was when I got my first job. But there's a few ways you can get around this by playing in to the witness mentally. You could say that you want to contribute more to the organization but since you're still too young to go to bethel or be a missionary, you can only contribute monetarily. You could say that you are planning on being a pioneer or trying to preach more, but in order to do that you need to be able to - buy a car, buy gas, buy food, buy service clothes, buy service tools, etc. Again, you know your parents best, you know what they want to hear from you, so give them that. I mean we've all lied about wanting to go to bethel at some point or another in our lives, right?
While living with your parents, your expenses are likely very low. Let's keep it that way! Enjoy that free rent and free food as long as possible! Expenses will quickly rise as soon as you become independent so saving up as much money as you can right now will help you deal with that when it comes.
3. Make Some Friends Outside the Borg!
I know, this goes against everything we've ever been taught. But really, the people in the world aren't all that bad. There are a lot of really nice friendly people that will genuinely care about you. Great places to start are at school or at work. Get to know some people, get their phone numbers, and become friendly with them. Any type of support network you can start to set up outside the borg will go a long ways once you leave. We all have to come to terms with the fact that everyone we know will shun us once we leave, so it really helps to have people outside that we can talk to. This also comes in handy for Section 5 of this post, getting roommates. You might be more comfortable getting a new place with someone you already know.
When you leave, everyone in the borg will think that you are suddenly suffering or miserable. Anytime they contact you it will be to give you a hand to come back to the borg and "help" you because you are suffering so much. Don't give them the satisfaction of being right!
4. Find Transportation!
Once you leave, you are going to need a way to get yourself around. If your city has good public transportation, learn how to use it! This is typically the lowest cost way to get around town which is very useful for getting to and from work. By using transportation, you don't have to pay for gas, maintenance, or insurance which can be a huge plus especially when you are trying to save money.
However, if that is not an option or if you are able to buy a car, that could be a better and more flexible option. A car can get you from point A to B directly and often quicker than public transportation. Unfortunately, you will have to pay for gas, maintenance, and insurance. If you are doing this under 18 you may need to get an insurance policy under your parents. Again, figure out what your parents want to hear from you to let you get a car, you know them best. "I need a car for service!"
5. Plan Your Exit! (Housing Expenses)
While you are under 18, you can't really do much on your own. Take advantage of this time to research and plan your exit. hats the only way you will know how much money you need to save and when you will be ready to move out. You need to know how much its all going to cost! The key expenses that you need to think about are housing, food.
Lets start with living arrangements. The rule of thumb is that you should never spend more than 1/3 of your income on rent, and most apartment complexes have that as a rule. If you are making $1,000 per month, you shouldn't be paying more than $300 a month in rent. If you are young and still earning a low income, that may be pretty limiting in your options. The easiest way to afford rent at a low income is to get roommates! If you get a place with one other person, suddenly you can afford a $600 a month place! If you get a place with two others, now you can afford a $900 a month place! Living with roommates may be awkward or weird at first. But this is your best way to afford a living space when you are first getting started, and you might even make a friend or two! If you live in a college town, you may even be able to find low cost housing arrangements made for students.
Also think about utilities. Look at the typical utility usage and cost for your area to get a sense of how much you will need every month. For one person this shouldn't be too much, especially if you are sharing the expense with roommates.
When you first rent a place, you will need to make an up front deposit. This can be up to one month rent, so you will need to have at least that much money saved up. You will also need to get some basic furniture. Maybe your parents will be nice enough to let you keep some of your furniture, but if not, you can start shopping around to get an idea of what you need. In my opinion, the only absolutely necessary piece of furniture is a mattress, after all you need a good nights sleep to keep your body functioning well. For any furniture, don't go to a furniture store! Everything at a furniture store is marked up many times higher than its worth. Instead, look on Amazon or other online stores! Your mattress is the one thing I would say you want to buy new as opposed to used. That's just because you never know the history of a mattress, and since you spend about half of your life on it you're better off having your own. On Amazon, you can find twin mattresses for under $100, and queen mattresses for around $200.
For any other furniture, use craigslist, facebook marketplace, or any peer to peer selling marketplace to find them. You can get amazing deals on these things, and sometimes even get them for free! You know your lifestyle better than I do, but some other pieces of furniture that can make your home more comfortable are a bed frame, chairs, a table, a couch. Remember, these aren't the pieces of furniture you are going to own forever so you don't need the nicest stuff. You also don't need to buy everything at the same time. You just need furniture to get you started.
Start planning a budget for what you are going to need when you move out.
6. Plan Your Exit! (Food)
After putting a roof over your head, food is your next biggest concern. The absolute biggest way to save in this department is to do your own cooking. A $10 plate of pasta from a restaurant can be recreated at home for under $3. Even if you have no experience cooking, give it a shot! Start easy with pasta or rice and work your way up from there. There are an uncountable amount of videos on YouTube teaching you how to cook, and needless to say YouTube is free. Try learning to cook at home with your parents so you can get the hang of it and start learning your favorite recipes.
The most basic things you need to cook are a pot, a cooking spoon, a bowl, a fork, and Tupperware. All of these things can be acquired inexpensively at a thrift shop, or if you want to splash a bit more cash you can get them new online or in store. My advice is to get a decent pot for cooking instead of the cheapest piece of junk. I've made that mistake before and the food never turned out good, it was usually unevenly cooked. With a nice set of pots, your food will come out much better.
Some pantry essentials should be salt, Pasta, Pasta Sauce, Rice, Beans, cans of vegetables, and anything else you like and eat regularly such as cereal, mac & cheese, tortillas, cheese, and spices. To reduce your cost even more, buy store brands or generic brands. They are the exact same thing as the name brand but at a fraction of the cost. If done right, you can keep your cost per serving under $1. When you make your own food, you can make extra to end up with leftovers to take to work for lunch or have another dinner. 1 box of pasta and 1/2 a jar of sauce will make 3-4 servings at a cost of less than $1 each. Realistically, your food expenses should only be a couple of hundred dollars a month. Think about what you like eating and plan a budget for that.
7. Plan Your Exit! (Other Expenses)
Living on your own and maintaining yourself, you will have many expenses. There's phone, internet, insurance, entertainment, and discretionary spending. Take some time to think about what you consider essentials and plan for those expenses. Do a bit of research to see if you can find things cheaper. All that money saved will add up in the long run.
My advice for new ExJWs is to budget some discretionary spending. You have lived your whole life sheltered and unable to do things for yourself. Use a bit of money every month to experience the world around you and to do something that you want to do. More important than anything else, you need to take care of yourself and your emotional and mental well being. If watching movies is your thing, treat yourself to a movie night at a theater. If getting a manicure or pedicure is your thing, then treat yourself to a spa day. Think about what makes you happy, and budget that in.
Closing Remarks
I'm not going to lie to you, leaving the borg is going to be one of the hardest things you do, but it will also be one of the best things you ever do. If you have already made your decision but are under 18, that gives you an advantage over the borg, it gives you time to plan and prepare. Use this time wisely while you can to save up money and prepare yourself mentally and financially for this huge step in your life.
So many of us have been in your shoes and know how it feels. I promise you life will get better! The world is a beautiful place and not as scary as the borg wants you to think. This entire subreddit is here to help you in this process, use that support network!
Throw the borg the finger on your way out and never look back!
I wish you all the best!